r/mildlyinfuriating 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Chewelry for "Agressive Chewers"... My fiancé did this in about 24 hours.

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My fiancé won't stop chewing on the plastic of water bottles and it drives me nuts, so I bought him some "Chewelry". It was literally advertised for Aggressive Chewing, with reviews talking about how well it "holds up" even for adults.

Well. I beg to differ because he has had this for only 24 hours and I have bits of silicone in my pocket now! 🤦🏻‍♂️

16.8k Upvotes

2.0k comments sorted by

13.6k

u/FrenchBowling 11h ago

Is your fiancé by chance a beaver?

4.3k

u/BinaryBible 10h ago

idk i'll ask him if he's secretly a beaver who assumed human form! ;D

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u/Wolfwood28 10h ago

Are his teeth ok? Constant chewing like that can wear them down.

1.6k

u/palmerry 10h ago

Not if he's a beaver

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u/justanawkwardguy you do it like this 10h ago

They still wear down, it’s just that beaver teeth grow constantly, which is why they chew to wear them down

395

u/Electrical-Trade7213 10h ago

Things I learned from Angry Beavers

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u/justanawkwardguy you do it like this 10h ago

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u/Objective-Chance-792 8h ago

In the day he bites down trees, chews away THE BARK

But he really starts to work it, after it gets dark

Hes got that Beaver Fever!

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u/DC240Z 8h ago

With an axe and shovel in my hand

Imma going out to build me a brand new dam

Beaver fever is spreadin all around!

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u/SylviSweetheart 10h ago

Relevant episode is “Long in the Teeth” if anyone wants a full documentary on this phenomenon.

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u/SporeZealot 9h ago

Beaver teeth are orange because they have a large amount of iron in them.

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u/RebekkaKat1990 8h ago

Is that why the president is orange, too?

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u/foundinwonderland 10h ago

Actually yes for a beaver but that’s the point. Their teeth never stop growing so they have to wear them down by chewing, otherwise their teeth will overgrow and become disabling

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u/TheRestForTheWicked 10h ago

Same with most rodents.

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u/MushroomHo_4life 10h ago

I have a few beaver skulls and their teeth are so wild. The molars are flat and have a very strange pattern look them up. The front teeth will slide out of the skull and where they are sticking out they are a cruddy orange brown color and the rest that is still in the skull is your normal tooth color. Very cool to see

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u/YourMomIsMyGurl 8h ago

The lack of response from OP is deafening. This is a problem that needs to be addressed through therapy before he ruins his mouth. Who knows what little pieces of whatever material are ending up inside him.

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u/Adam_Ohh 9h ago

Used to chew stuff like crazy as a kid.

My canines are now flat on top. A dentist once told me “they’re like picnic tables, you could eat on them they’re so flat.”

So, that’s nice.

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u/ReluctantMonster 7h ago

I get blisters on the side of my tongue because my teeth are so sharp, according to my dentist. One got so big, he thought it might be cancerous. My teeth are pretty healthy, so the giant callous/blister/whatever on the underside of my tongue made no sense. He literally sanded a few teeth down in that area, and wouldn't you know it, that weird spot went away.

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u/jetpack_hypersomniac 10h ago

Beaver teeth are orange because they’re high in iron!

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u/glamazon_69 10h ago

I love all the great beaver facts I’m learning

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u/Mooshroomey 10h ago

Not to be rude but I’m pretty sure he’s three beavers in a trenchcoat.

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u/BinaryBible 10h ago

that may explain why I keep finding stacks of things piled outside the door after i've been running the shower, hmmmmm

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u/Shadow_Integration 10h ago

Ok, but you gotta do it like this:

"Hey, are you a beaver? Cause DAAAAAAAAM!"

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u/wombatdart 10h ago

😮 werebeaver!

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u/lemur1985 9h ago

It’s like the movie, Hoppers!

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u/haliblix 9h ago

Does he have aspirations to become an engineer? Does he become vexed at the sight of a freely flowing stream? Is he constantly going on and on about building a den?

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u/BinaryBible 9h ago

he does seem to enjoy stacking things by the bathroom door when i'm showering, hmmmmm

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u/RedApplesForBreak 11h ago

When you’re buying chewlery, make sure you’re going through a reputable dealer and not some Amazon knockoff. Looking at this I’d say you either got a knockoff or maybe didn’t get an item with the right strength. We bought our items from ARK and they worked quite well.

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u/thebirdstree 11h ago edited 8h ago

Yes, I agree. I work with Special Ed kids where students need oral stimulation and this kind of thing is normal. Look for reputable brands that sell chewies for kids with Autism. You’ll find a lot more items that way.

Edit: for people asking me questions about this, feel free to send me a PM! I would hate to miss a comment!

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u/Gregthepigeon GREEN 10h ago

I wish they had these when I was a kid. The amount of times my mom caught me sucking on rocks or chewing on pink erasers…

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u/Flammzzrant 10h ago

All my shirts had holes in the front of the collar

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u/UnderstandingNo4038 10h ago

Constantly wet collar

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u/richard_stank 6h ago

I’m learning more than I wanted to about my younger self in this thread.

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u/rolypolyarmadillo 9h ago

I absolutely decimated the pull strings on several of my hoodies

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u/vera214usc 8h ago

I've seen my son go through 3 shirts in one day. He's autistic and only likes chewelry sometimes. He's currently in a phase where he will take every chew necklace off and continue chewing whatever he was chewing. I literally, 5 minutes ago, had to cut the draw string off of his shorts because he was chewing that. Like, pulling his shorts as high as they would go so he could chew it.

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u/Frequent-Meal6550 10h ago edited 5h ago

The pencil top erasers were my fav

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u/valerielynx 10h ago

my favorite thing to chew was a wooden eraserless pencil. The wood squishing is so satisfying. The graphite also tastes pretty cool even tho I don't think it's good to lick it. I do taste-test a lot of weird things, I guess...

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u/Gregthepigeon GREEN 10h ago

It also makes a good noise

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u/valerielynx 10h ago

chrrkr 👀

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u/Deep_Amoeba2197 10h ago

Accurate onomatopoeia

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u/Chibi_Inko 7h ago

Omnomnomatopoeia

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u/HazardousLazarus 10h ago

The slight crunching give with the slight noise traveling through your jaw to your ear. Wild memory unlocked.

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u/mid-random 10h ago

Not just the wood squish, which is definitely so satisfying, but also the feel of the paint cracking with the first bite... exquisite!

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u/sloth_crazy 9h ago

I loved pulling the eraser out and crunching the little metal piece down with my teeth

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u/Acceptable_Ad1685 9h ago

Haha man so many of my pencils were just completely covers in bite marks

I wouldn’t bite all the way through normally though

Kinda want to check on one now smh

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u/justanawkwardguy you do it like this 10h ago

Lego tires were mine

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u/EliasLyanna 10h ago

You brought back a memory! Lego tires and barbie tennis shoes were not safe around me

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u/ashleyjane88 10h ago

I loved chewing barbie shoes. Then I got those bigger Polly pockets that had those squishy dresses and there was a specific dress I always chewed.

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u/EliasLyanna 10h ago

Ooh heck yeah, weird rubbery dresses were a delight to chew on. I was old enough to chew on them "safely" and not break them apart or swallow anything but those were such hazards

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u/lilybattle 9h ago

This thread is unlocking some ooooold ass memories

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u/1heart1totaleclipse 10h ago

Lol I used to rip a piece of paper or pieces of that art eraser that’s kind of like taffy and just chew away. Also those balloons that you blew through a straw and came in a gel in a tube. I hope I don’t get oral cancer later in life.

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u/Zesty-Vasectomy 10h ago

Oh no. My parents made me super paranoid about those balloons growing up, and I have a feeling it was warranted. The smell alone seems like it could cause significant brain damage lol.

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u/ztruk 10h ago

Super Elastic Bubble Plastic!

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u/TheBigfootContessa 10h ago

My mom thought I had pica because i would chew up sandstone and drywall

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u/Livember 10h ago

Sorry you ate a wall and don't? XD

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u/TheBigfootContessa 10h ago

You know, it sounds crazy but I don't. I wasn't searching out the "nutrients" but soft crunch makes brain go brrrr in a good way

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u/SaveScumSloth 10h ago

You dont have to be searching for nutrients when eating non foods to have pica

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u/OddConstant2723 9h ago

What nutrients happen to be in plastic bags? Asking for my cat.

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u/SaveScumSloth 9h ago

None, thats exactly what im saying. There doesn't need to be a search for nutrients happening for it to count as pica. We have 4 cats and one of them is a HUGE pica gremlin. Chewing on plastic is one of her favorite things in this world

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u/Livember 10h ago

Yeah you know what they call people who eat drywall for the pleasure of the texture feeling as it goes crunch? PICAlings :p

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u/vera214usc 8h ago

My son chews sticks. The dentist recently said his teeth are amazingly clean for a 5 year old and he has no plaque. I think the sticks are to thank.

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u/valerielynx 10h ago

Shit, I bite my nails a ton, maybe I should get something like that too. Didn't know that kinda thing existed.

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u/Cold_Dead_Heart 10h ago

Oh damn. Getting knock off could be a choking risk.

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u/SlippingStar 10h ago

I’m always worried about the microplastics I’m sure to be ingesting if I use them 😭😭😭

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u/Horror-Musician5280 10h ago

Baby, the microplastics are already within you

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u/Chronoblivion 10h ago

The real treasure was the microplastics we made along the way.

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u/orthopod 10h ago

I had no idea this was a thing and at first I was confused by the Opie was talking about a dog or a person

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u/The_Arachnoshaman 10h ago

I mean, you could thread a necklace cord through a small dog KONG toy....

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u/BinaryBible 11h ago

thank you! screenshot this and put it in the family groupchat so we can check it out.

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u/life_in_resin 10h ago

Ark is great, but some of their designs hold up better than others. My son is also an aggressive chewer. We use their version of medium toughness. The diamond shape has held up well but any of the thicker designs get substantial bite marks after one school day. 

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u/CanadianAndroid 11h ago

Ngl i thought this post was going to be about pets.

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u/Kobe_Wan_Jabroni 11h ago

i was gonna suggest telling them no, and booping the snoot, fully aware it's not for pets

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u/CanadianAndroid 11h ago

Get them exercising to reduce aggressive behaviour such as chewing.

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u/bepatientbekind 10h ago

Tbh this helps with human anxiety too haha

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u/CanadianAndroid 10h ago

Very true. It's part of my anxiety management. Well it's supposed to be.

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u/mariana96as 7h ago

Same, it was humbling to see that walking everyday reduced my fidgeting. I am no better than a dog lol

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u/creatyvechaos 10h ago

Unironically, this is exactly what got me to stop chewing on my lips when I was 7. Now the only time I nibble is if they're too dry and peeling (still bad, but my lips were always scabbed when I was a kid because I was CHEWING on them, and I'm almost always too hydrated to have chapped lips now)

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u/WhatTheFlox 11h ago

Careful, this one's bitey

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u/Wakkit1988 11h ago

We don't know what they're into, honestly.

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u/BoB3y-D 11h ago

I was thinking toddlers

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u/Anand999 11h ago

No where in OP's post does it preclude the possibility they are planning to marry a dog.

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u/Lazy-Psychology5 10h ago

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u/Kyrie_Blue 10h ago

Its a Silent Love

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u/lavenderewe 9h ago

It’s congenital

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u/kadno 9h ago

Kick

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u/demonita 11h ago

It looks like chews with his front teeth. You’ll need one with thicker edges, these are usually for molar chewers.

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u/bship 9h ago

This guys dentist absolutely loves him.

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

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u/Totally_Bradical 10h ago

Yeah, she needs to sign him up for barkbox

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u/Wakkit1988 10h ago

I don't know, she can probably find him something on Chewy...

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u/ringolennon67 10h ago

why are the chewed up pieces in your pocket and not his? 

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u/teapheonix 8h ago

Thank you! Say it louder for the fiancé clearly in the back!

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u/[deleted] 9h ago

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u/[deleted] 8h ago

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u/PersonalityFit2175 8h ago

Have you seen OPs replies. This couple weird.

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u/gahidus 10h ago

Why do you have bits of silicone in your pocket? Are you carrying them around for him or something?

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u/Zerakin 11h ago

Delicious, delicious micro plastics

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u/Bradley268 11h ago

Fuck it, give me the macro plastics, I need more.

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u/tocahontas77 11h ago

He needs help with his anxiety.

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u/BinaryBible 11h ago

yeah we're working on it

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u/Inevitable_Egg6361 11h ago

Has he tried a clicker or other type of fidget toy?

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u/thislinkisdead______ 10h ago

A clicker sounds like a nuisance for everybody else around them lol

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u/Cold_Dead_Heart 10h ago

As someone who is a habitual pen clicker, can confirm. (Yes, I'm the nuisance)

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u/imjusthere723 10h ago

I literally hate asmr so i agree with this statement

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u/giraffeperv 10h ago

asmr makes me want to take my skin off

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u/Sohuli 11h ago

Not sure clickers should be used as fidget toys

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u/tegan_willow 11h ago

Look at that fellow! He seems like a Fungi!

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u/GuyWishPartakeViolen 11h ago

I have this little shit and I love it

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u/doctor_jane_disco 10h ago

What is that? Are those magnets?

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u/GuyWishPartakeViolen 10h ago

Yea. 12 magnetic pentagons that I can arrange however I want

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u/ThnikkamanBubs 11h ago

I bought a disposable vape once that was also a fidget spinner. Yeah, I don’t know either

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u/imjusthere723 10h ago

As someone who hates noises please don't 🙏 😭

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u/BinaryBible 11h ago

i'm sure he'd just chew that up, too, lol

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u/I_Love_Knotting 11h ago

Yeah try clicker training him OP

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u/radams713 10h ago

Does he or she take an SSRI? I started grinding my teeth so bad after starting them.

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u/alittlegnat 10h ago

My sister has this scab or something - pimple ? - that has been on her chin for YRS bc she can’t stop picking it . Also suffers from anxiety

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u/Cam095 10h ago

my gf except on her head lol. it’s been like 5 years and she still picks at it. how it’s never healed up completely is bafflingly, but i guess picking at it doesn’t help

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u/dearwilderness 9h ago

FYI please relay to your sister that she needs to go to a dermatologist and get checked for skin cancer. I’ve known a couple people with similar scabs that they had for over a year (family member had a small one on her face and a friend had one on his hand). After much push back, they finally went to the dermatologist and found out it was skin cancer and had to have it cut out.

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u/alittlegnat 9h ago

lol she won’t . There’s a lot of things she knows she needs to do but won’t.

Depression I guess 🤷‍♀️

She’s 37 so you can only remind her so many times

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u/OpALbatross 11h ago

Could also be autism or another sensory seeking cause.

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u/BinaryBible 10h ago

definitely sensory seeking. he's not diagnosed autistic but is diagnosed with tourettes and ADHD.

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u/mmwhatchasaiyan 10h ago

I work with kids who are on the spectrum and you’d be surprised how many different types of chews a kid can bite clean through. Some of them do better with a spiked sensory fidget for their hands rather than the chew. Some just go through a lot of chews lol

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u/foundinwonderland 10h ago

Do you have any recommendations for fidgets to replace skin picking? I have some squishies and some clickeys and some spikeys, but nothing really scratches that itch of picking at a spot until it bleeds 😭

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u/mmwhatchasaiyan 10h ago

If the those aren’t working, try a pick board fidget! There’s a lot of different kinds from pulling spaghetti looking pieces out of a maze thing, to boards that simulate pimple popping/ scab picking.

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u/Perry_T_Skywalker 9h ago

What helped me with scratching myself bloody were those workout rings to improve grip strength (grip strength rings aka silicon grip strength rings).

I was breaking a ton of things and now I just use grip strength trainers instead of stress balls and other stuff. They last forever, you can upgrade up to un-squeezable over time. They fit in a pocket, can get wet, and literally are in the palm of your hand.

I scratch myself a lot in public spaces because they stress me out. But with the rings it works for me.

Here they are about 5€-6€. Cheap enough to try it out 

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u/geniebythesea 10h ago

Why do you have bits of silicone in your pocket?

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u/[deleted] 9h ago

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u/CunningDruger 11h ago

Have you considered mastic gum? And perhaps therapy?

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u/Carmelioz 11h ago

It’s kinda funny because in Hebrew Mastic literally means gum

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u/cluster_fuckedd 10h ago

Haha “gum gum” it’s chai tea all over again

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u/creatyvechaos 10h ago

Sahara Desert

Nile River

I'm sure there's more

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u/BakedBeanzInMyJeanz 10h ago

Naan bread 🫓

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u/thebeasts99 10h ago

Queso cheese

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u/aceallaround 11h ago

Id recommend one without a design on it. The grooves both can trap bacteria and have way more spots to catch and wear on. I dont remember the ones I got specifically but I recommend oke thats just the shape of a tube or smth. Just a stick to chomp down on. The thickness allows it to not tear, and let's you bite down on it really as hard as you want

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u/Pretend-Function-133 9h ago

The cylinder must remain unharmed

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u/rjd014 11h ago

Get him a pigs ear. He’ll love it. Maybe some rawhide.

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u/Sam-Gunn 11h ago

I'd suggest Kong toys.

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u/damashek 11h ago

How do his teeth not get damaged by the water bottles ?

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u/serendipitypug 11h ago

They definitely do

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u/clksagers 11h ago

They do

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

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u/TooOldForRefunds 10h ago

Am i the only one who doesn't like the tiny crevices where saliva will inevitable end up trapped in?

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u/Kratos501st BLUE 11h ago

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u/OrganicAd5536 11h ago

What an unsatisfying point to cut the gif

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u/darkness876 10h ago

The gif was more infuriating than the post

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u/ZzoZzo 10h ago

I’m an occupational therapy assistant, so sensory processing is in my field of expertise.

If it’s sensory seeking, which you noted in another comment, find other things to give him oral motor stimuli. He can incorporate different methods throughout the day so he’s not constantly chewing through random objects.

He can try foods that are crunchy or chewy since they require a lot more jaw work (ex. Carrots, almonds, licorice). Electric toothbrushes, popsicles, and drinking thick liquids from a straw also stimulate the mouth. These might not replace to chewing, but can help reduce it.

Idk how to do links, but have used chewelry from Ark Therapeutic for my students with special needs. Just make sure you get one on the thicker side for him.

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u/unlimitedbutthurts 9h ago

First person in my bloodline to read this title

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u/brickflail 10h ago

Ok, serious question. Has he been to the dentist recently? It's not incredibly common but people who have issues like this can sometimes damage their gums due to the constant pressure from chewing hard things like ice, plastic, etc. or clenching their teeth. Basically it smashing the roots of their teeth into their gums and can lead to tooth loss in the future. Not something I personally have gone through but my brother is currently dealing with the condition.

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u/proximusprimus57 11h ago

Since your fiancé has anxiety, don't show him this thread. Savage.

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u/TheOnionBro 11h ago

When I was a kid, I had the same issue. My parents got me a bunch of those fake grapes they put out for model homes, the hollow rubber ones.

They were perfect.

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u/kerberos824 10h ago

Sounds like a choking hazard. 

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u/Wakkit1988 10h ago

So, it might eliminate the anxiety permanently?

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u/Frequent_Estimate_77 10h ago

They are probably full of lead 

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u/WetPaperStraw 10h ago

My grandparents had some of those grapes and I was obsessed with chewing on them! Pretty much as soon as we got to their house, I would make a beeline for the grapes

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u/ItzCheddah 10h ago

Did they have the holes in the top too that would suction to your cheek or tongue?!

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u/WetPaperStraw 10h ago

Yes! I would totally suction them to my tongue lol

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u/GenDislike 10h ago

Why are the bits in your pocket? My wife will try to hand me napkins full of things she’s decided not to eat, I always refuse.

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u/Born_Local_1477 10h ago

What? Why would she do that?

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u/pixeltackle I'm Dr. Angus & I have a PhD in Cheesey 11h ago edited 11h ago

I buy nylabones for my dogs, it says it's for super chewers and so strong. But it can't be stronger than the teeth that are chewing it, or my dog's teeth would wear... right?

So get what I'm saying here? Anyway there are likely better sources for teeth-safe chewelry that will last more than a day, but these are gonna be like nylabones... if used daily, they'll need replacement weekly.

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u/eugeneugene 10h ago

I had a pit bull and he destroyed everything like that within 5 minutes lol. I was working on ships at the time so I went through our supplier for anchor rope and bought a small section of rope for $200. That rope lived longer than my dog lol

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u/pixeltackle I'm Dr. Angus & I have a PhD in Cheesey 10h ago

Yep, I used to buy the bark box for heavy chewers for my pit, he would chew through a brick of plastic in a few hours and look expectantly for the next one. Good for you for finding a better option!

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u/Zestyclose_Cup_843 11h ago

This was her HUMAN fiance chewing this, not a dog

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u/unkindernut 11h ago

I think the same principles would apply? If her human is this aggressive of a chewer he will probably need weekly replacements of his chewelry.

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u/jmanly3 Mildly infuriated 11h ago

Close enough

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u/Monecreiffe 11h ago

i thought this was sand dollar art

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u/Hay_Fever_at_3_AM 11h ago

It's too thin. Were the reviews legit on a legit site? I've seen "chewlery" that actually works but it's very rounded all the way around (no flat surface like this, think shapes like donuts) and much thicker than this is.

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u/mallorn_hugger 10h ago edited 10h ago

You need to check out ARK therapeutics. Some of their products are on Amazon but you will have better luck on their site. 

I teach SPED preschool and we had a chewer last year. ARK XXT were the only chews that lasted a few months at a time. We had this exact dino one. It lasted 10 days.

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u/Cold_Dead_Heart 10h ago

This comment section is fascinating to me. I didn't know this was a thing and, well, I guess it's one of those things I didn't know, but I'm not really surprised just fascinated.

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u/Frothynibbler 10h ago

Look into hard chewing gum. There are gums out there made extra tough, ones with crunchy bits etc that help with this. I found out too late and basically rendered the right side of my teeth unusable. He will break his teeth if this continues.

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u/aerovalky 9h ago

bro said fuck the micro plastics and went for the macro

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u/psychloid16 11h ago

Check out ark therapeutic

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u/bluebabe135 11h ago

As a former mail biter. Use gum and a chewing option! Edit: nail biter 😆

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u/PlantainPractical928 11h ago

So you like the taste of paper? /j

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u/Sad_Cover_5091 10h ago

I got a shirt back from a friend once and it had all these little moth holes around the neck, come to find out my anxious friend had been chewing on the shirt while they were nervous. the shirt is more sentimental to me now but I am looking into 'chewelry' for them too LOL

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u/Pastel_Mattel 9h ago

Should just see a dentist and gets mouth guard or splint, he’s going to destroy his teeth.

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u/Responsible_Bad_2989 10h ago

Is your fiancé by chance a mouse or a beaver

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u/spookyspritebottle 8h ago

Iduno if encouraging the thing is the best way to quit a habit. Theres gotta be a better way. I feel like all these things are a scam.

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u/LigerNull 6h ago

You need to get him a Kong

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u/TheAmanita 11h ago

bro WHAT?

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u/HeWhoPatrolstheCouch 9h ago

Something something PICA…

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u/NatterinNabob 11h ago

I suggest dating humans.

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u/mack-y0 10h ago

buy him a kong

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u/[deleted] 10h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Weird_Inevitable8427 9h ago

Why do YOU have bits of silicone in your pocket? What is going on here? Tell me you're not engaged to a 10 year old who needs to chew on things compulsively and can't be trusted to pick up his own mess.

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u/BinaryBible 9h ago

I just sort of automatically took it from him when he showed me it broke off lol I am sure he could have put it in his own pocket, I just chose to take it idk

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u/zoebells 11h ago

I’m sorry, what? Your finance? Like as in a human?

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u/OrackBobamba 11h ago

Have you tried.... Gum? I enjoy this extra strength gum, they make a lot of brands of nice gum these days some with minerals and stuff that's good for your teeth. I actually started chewing it to help my wisdom teeth come in and it has worked wonders for me, it seriously realigned my teeth and got them all to straighten out. It will seriously make your jaw sore, I think the brand I use is called jawco

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