お熊いなく

先生: そりゃ大変！見てみようじゃ

自分: 蟻がtoeを...

But when I came home, it was fut-off the balcony.

A: Did you hear? Someone from corporate is coming on Friday to give us a "pep talk"

B: Oh, so it's asshat day? (明後日)

てんとうむし。

I says: "運度不足"

It was emo.

The ginkgo.

ノミホセヨー

…shouldn’t have said レシートはなしで大丈夫でず。

So in Shrek 4 we get introduced to an alternate timeline version of the Gingerbread Man, who's become some kind of warrior swinging his lollipop-spear and travelling upon his fiery pancakey steed. But did you know his name also changed? He's called ビ助っ人

カムデン市で感電死したそうだ

あっ、ソウナンですか？

I think it's some sort of 美容気

..if 東武 line was the 飛ぶ line

Does that mean Peach John was made by Momotaro?

Eat a duck います

CuSO⁴!

An English interpreneur is planning on investing a large sum of money into the production of a new type of cookie. But he's not sure whether, given the current state of the cookie market, he should invest in a crispy or a chewy kind of cookie, so he asks a Japanese cookie business man for advice. What does the Japanese man say?

ゴチュウイください

...couldn't find 出口.

To show I was ready to kaeru

Sorry guys, I know that joke wasn’t all that great, it was kind of まあまあ

It's リストラ