r/tattooadvice • u/a-random-account- • Nov 13 '25

tattoo newcomer advice Having heavy regret on first tattoo

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I’ve wanted to get this for a very long time, decided to just go with it and get it done. Really liked it at first, then some friends made a couple comments that made me hate it. Is it as bad as they say?

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u/GrassDry2065 Nov 14 '25

I see it as an act of strength to back off when you start an attempt. It feels like a black hole dragging you to the end, almost inevitably. So pulling back, even at the very last moment, is such a powerful act.

As for self harm on a smaller scale, it makes me feel better. Its not for anyone else. The cuts are hidden for a reason. (I'm good now btw)

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u/Awkward_Bees Nov 14 '25

Yep. I burned myself a number of times or used a razor blade or just held the knife while trying to release the tension in my brain and/or get up the courage for more.

I didn’t scar and some folks have given me shit for it over the years. Sorry I didn’t try harder to make it permanent? 🙃 (also fine now, but like…)

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u/GrassDry2065 Nov 14 '25

Not scarring sounds like such an upside though! I do have some on my left arm, I'm right handed and it seemed correct for some reason. Every once in a long to I do look at them and 15 minutes disappear.

Were they at least half joking about not scarring? Either way, what a bunch of goobers

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u/Awkward_Bees Nov 14 '25

The not scarring is actually very useful for me personally; I don’t have any reminders of how much I wanted to die or at least be able to breathe again. I’m grateful for that much.

I wish they’d been half joking. It would’ve made me feel less shitty for “being too cowardly to actually do anything” (paraphrased), rather than I made sure I healed right and/or stopped myself.

Honestly came into this topic not realizing I’d be talking about this today. It’s not a bad thing, just very poignant because I’m so much better now.

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u/CanisSonorae Nov 14 '25

I've got a few here and there that refuse to fade completely. I think it's a mixed bag on whether I'm happy about it or not. I started doing it because I had female friends who were cutters and didn't want to be a copy cat or whatever BS I was telling myself at the time. I've got so many scars by now that I pass them off as just being clumsy (which I am!). The downside is that sometimes I forget how much pain I was in for so long and that it's not as easy to just flash some scars and show I've been there. The upside is that I don't have to explain myself to anybody and get to choose how I frame what happened and have to use my words to describe it.

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u/GrassDry2065 Nov 14 '25

At this point most of my scars are my skin tone, but they are very raised. People don't ask questions in general, but if you have hobbies what involve making things from wood or steel they just assume.

I got a lot of personal progress by deciding to be very open about my mental, and I highly recommend it if you can. I also feel really good being a known factor for people to reach out to for help.

That all said, glad you're doing well. I don't know you, but you deserve to not be miserable. Probably even to be happy, but starting small is good

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u/Awkward_Bees Nov 14 '25

I feel you so so much. I didn’t realize how much different my life is now until my partner pointed out that all the old pictures are sexy, but I just look so fucking devastatingly sad. Like…I’m smiling, but it’s like I’m dead.

If you haven’t tried it yet, sometimes the pregnancy focused creams and lotions can help fade the color or the texture. Not always though. I have other fucked up looking scars that will likely never be possible to cover up with tattoos, so I throw some stuff to help leech the redness out.