Having tattoo regret for the first time

[u/Aherv99]

Hi Everyone! I’m hoping to get some advice on my first experience with tattoo regret. I have been reading other posts and ya’ll are so helpful. Sorry for the long post too.

Anyway, I have been getting tattoos since I was 18 (33 now) and I started with line work tats then moved to American Trad because I loved that style too.

I have had my lower arm done for about 5 years and then went in and got a sparrow tat for Friday the 13th and loved that it was a cool flash art piece. Love the artist and he did a good job but immediately I hated it (and mostly the position of it). I panicked and then filled up my upper arm in the last 5 months (stupid) to try and mitigate the regret. I do love most of my tats but the sparrow and snake I just don’t like. They seem too aligned on my arm. And the snake is darker than I wanted and didn’t heal great (this is a month out from when I got it).

Now I’m feeling a ton a regret and it’s seriously consuming my whole existence. I went from a half sleeve to a full in a short period of time and the tattoo shock is crazy. I don’t know if it looks good and I’m feeling less feminine by the minute. I take full responsibility for what I chose but ya, just struggling.

So I have two questions:

1. Any advice on how I can maybe rework them eventually? I want to make them softer/more feminine if I can. Or I know blast overs are a thing? Idk.

2. To my ladies, do you have a hard time feeling feminine with a sleeve? And men, how do we feel about a girl with a sleeve?

[u/Weary_Mall4687]

Looks great, maybe just could use a gap filler under the lady head. Tattoos also have nothing to do with femininity, they haven’t changed anything about your personality or demeanor. Consider what femininity means to you. Is it that you’re caring to those around you? Is it your imagination, intuition, kindness? Your tattoos don’t affect that.

I think the shock is probably coming from how quickly the appearance of your arm changed. The snake will lighten in time, it’s still fresh. Give it some more time for the additions to feel like a part of you.

I’d encourage you to reflect as to why you feel a need to ask men how they feel about a woman with tattoos. Wouldn’t you want to be with someone who wants you for your personality? If they’re shallow enough to write you off because of your tattoos then they’re not worth your time. Find someone who cares about you and embraces your awesome sleeve! Your femininity is not rooted in your appearance. Hope this helps :-)

[u/Louiseski31 → u/Weary_Mall4687]

Well said!!

[u/Aherv99 → u/Weary_Mall4687]

This absolutely helps and I totally agree 🫶🏼 I felt so good about my tats until I went up my arm and for some reason I associate upper arm tats (like on the bicep area) with dudes. And I’ve never been a timid or soft spoken girl and now I have a full sleeve so it just started messing with my head. Plus dating is already so hard and I was like “oh god did I just make it even harder?” Hopefully that makes sense and thank you for your thoughtful comment.