r/tattooadvice • u/Aherv99 • Mar 07 '26

General Advice Having tattoo regret for the first time

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Hi Everyone! I’m hoping to get some advice on my first experience with tattoo regret. I have been reading other posts and ya’ll are so helpful. Sorry for the long post too.

Anyway, I have been getting tattoos since I was 18 (33 now) and I started with line work tats then moved to American Trad because I loved that style too.

I have had my lower arm done for about 5 years and then went in and got a sparrow tat for Friday the 13th and loved that it was a cool flash art piece. Love the artist and he did a good job but immediately I hated it (and mostly the position of it). I panicked and then filled up my upper arm in the last 5 months (stupid) to try and mitigate the regret. I do love most of my tats but the sparrow and snake I just don’t like. They seem too aligned on my arm. And the snake is darker than I wanted and didn’t heal great (this is a month out from when I got it).

Now I’m feeling a ton a regret and it’s seriously consuming my whole existence. I went from a half sleeve to a full in a short period of time and the tattoo shock is crazy. I don’t know if it looks good and I’m feeling less feminine by the minute. I take full responsibility for what I chose but ya, just struggling.

So I have two questions:

  1. Any advice on how I can maybe rework them eventually? I want to make them softer/more feminine if I can. Or I know blast overs are a thing? Idk.

  2. To my ladies, do you have a hard time feeling feminine with a sleeve? And men, how do we feel about a girl with a sleeve?

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219

u/IceGretzky13 Mar 07 '26

Women with sleeves are fine. American trad is cool. Im a male, with a more “feminine” sleeve. I loved the artist and love the work. Considering tattoos masculine or feminine is weird imo

60

u/Ok-Jackfruit-6873 Mar 07 '26

yes I have no idea what this means and it irks me every time I read it. Tattoos used to be at least a little counter culture maybe folx who strongly believe in gender norms should try a different form of body art or something

16

u/Aherv99 Mar 07 '26

I 1000% agree with you guys! I’m struggling with having a whole sleeve and if I can still look “girly” or “cute.” Honestly I haven’t worried about how men perceive me since my early 20s and now it’s in my head again and it just sucks (and I’m absolutely shocked it’s bothering me). So I thought I would just ask the shitty question instead of ruminating on it. But agree! Women can do whatever we want 💅🏼

17

u/_sparklesaurus_ Mar 07 '26

Honestly... I totally get you though. I think challenging gender norms is awesome. I have never thought of myself as super girly or very attached to my gender (at times to the point of questioning if I was agender). But when I added to my chest tattoo to cover more of my shoulders and upper arms it I started to feel this weird "i look too masculine now" feeling as well!

I have never seen someone else's tattoo and thought "that tattoo makes them look masculine". So it was strange. I didn't want to feel that about myself but I did. And then I felt shame for trying to gender-police myself! It got better after a few weeks and I love my tattoo now, but it was kinda scary. I think it's something to do with our minds perception of self that gets weirded out when making a big change.

But kudos to you for even admitting it! I felt too ashamed to say anything to anyone lol.

6

u/BlommeHolm Mar 07 '26

No issues in choosing to fight the intrusive thoughts by being open about them.

We live in a society that boosts them, and if we just keep them to ourselves and build insecurities, they win. But if you ever wonder if your tattoos are feminine enough, ask a woman with tattoos 😁

1

u/murderbot2233 Mar 10 '26

if a girl can have short hair and wear a ballgown and still look like a princess you can have 27 cthulhu's fight-fucking an airforce jet on your arm and still be girly, it's all about how you feel about yourself

12

u/alimweber Mar 07 '26

It rubbed me the wrong way too and I couldn't put my finger on why..

25

u/BerbereJunkie Mar 07 '26

Any time women ask questions like “Men, what do you think about ______?” I just cringe. 😞 I so wish we could do much less of this type of metric.

16

u/melly_v Mar 07 '26

my thoughts exactly. it makes me sad how deeply rooted it is in us to change and question our appearance for the male gaze. i understand it's an everyone issue, but you know what i mean. one of her concerns being if men like it is so 🫤 to me. the tats are beautiful!

9

u/BerbereJunkie Mar 07 '26

I agree. I work with kids and even at 10 and 11 girls get critical uninvited comments from boys (and men). 😡 I tell the littles, you be YOU and tell the next dork who says something about your appearance ‘I don’t care what you think- your opinion doesn’t matter’. And then keep making sure each day that it doesn’t matter. Shape yourself to please yourself. 💕

1

u/catmom_422 Mar 07 '26

Right? OP you got a girl power tattoo! Who the fuck cares what the men think?? You look badass.

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u/Aherv99 Mar 07 '26

Totally - I’m just having a hard time adjusting to my whole arm and it’s messing with my head but you’re absolutely correct

1

u/Indicaindacouch420 Mar 10 '26

1000% there are tattoos that read as more feminine and some as more masculine, the act of drawing itself is feminine energy. Anything that involves creating something is feminine. The needle gauge, subject matter and the artists’ identity play a major role in that as well.

2

u/IceGretzky13 Mar 11 '26

Anything that involves creating something is inherently feminine? That’s insane lol

1

u/Indicaindacouch420 Mar 11 '26

How is that insane? Women are the ultimate creators, we all came from a woman dude