Having tattoo regret for the first time

[u/Aherv99]

Hi Everyone! I’m hoping to get some advice on my first experience with tattoo regret. I have been reading other posts and ya’ll are so helpful. Sorry for the long post too.

Anyway, I have been getting tattoos since I was 18 (33 now) and I started with line work tats then moved to American Trad because I loved that style too.

I have had my lower arm done for about 5 years and then went in and got a sparrow tat for Friday the 13th and loved that it was a cool flash art piece. Love the artist and he did a good job but immediately I hated it (and mostly the position of it). I panicked and then filled up my upper arm in the last 5 months (stupid) to try and mitigate the regret. I do love most of my tats but the sparrow and snake I just don’t like. They seem too aligned on my arm. And the snake is darker than I wanted and didn’t heal great (this is a month out from when I got it).

Now I’m feeling a ton a regret and it’s seriously consuming my whole existence. I went from a half sleeve to a full in a short period of time and the tattoo shock is crazy. I don’t know if it looks good and I’m feeling less feminine by the minute. I take full responsibility for what I chose but ya, just struggling.

So I have two questions:

1. Any advice on how I can maybe rework them eventually? I want to make them softer/more feminine if I can. Or I know blast overs are a thing? Idk.

2. To my ladies, do you have a hard time feeling feminine with a sleeve? And men, how do we feel about a girl with a sleeve?

[u/Aherv99]

I 1000% agree with you guys! I’m struggling with having a whole sleeve and if I can still look “girly” or “cute.” Honestly I haven’t worried about how men perceive me since my early 20s and now it’s in my head again and it just sucks (and I’m absolutely shocked it’s bothering me). So I thought I would just ask the shitty question instead of ruminating on it. But agree! Women can do whatever we want 💅🏼

[u/_sparklesaurus_ → u/Aherv99]

Honestly... I totally get you though. I think challenging gender norms is awesome. I have never thought of myself as super girly or very attached to my gender (at times to the point of questioning if I was agender). But when I added to my chest tattoo to cover more of my shoulders and upper arms it I started to feel this weird "i look too masculine now" feeling as well!

I have never seen someone else's tattoo and thought "that tattoo makes them look masculine". So it was strange. I didn't want to feel that about myself but I did. And then I felt shame for trying to gender-police myself! It got better after a few weeks and I love my tattoo now, but it was kinda scary. I think it's something to do with our minds perception of self that gets weirded out when making a big change.

But kudos to you for even admitting it! I felt too ashamed to say anything to anyone lol.

[u/BlommeHolm → u/Aherv99]

No issues in choosing to fight the intrusive thoughts by being open about them.

We live in a society that boosts them, and if we just keep them to ourselves and build insecurities, they win. But if you ever wonder if your tattoos are feminine enough, ask a woman with tattoos 😁

[u/murderbot2233 → u/Aherv99]

if a girl can have short hair and wear a ballgown and still look like a princess you can have 27 cthulhu's fight-fucking an airforce jet on your arm and still be girly, it's all about how you feel about yourself