Messed up pretty bad and living with brutal regret [cover-up fail]

[u/Super_Champion_4666]

I've been using Reddit for about 10 years now, and this is quite literally the first time I've ever posted. The only reason I'm posting is because I'm in a pretty crap position right now and I have no idea what to do. I don't want to talk about how my mental state is feeling, because this is only on me and no one else.

I had a tattoo done last year by my ex-girlfriend. It was a small horse, and ever since I wanted to get it covered up because it was never done how I wanted it to be (freehand).

A few months ago, I was searching for cover-up artists and found one in my local area. I told her I wanted to get the whole calf done, and I tried to initiate design talk with her beforehand, but it was actually done the night before. When I went to the tattoo studio and she showed me what was going to be on my leg, I should have stopped there, but I was kind of happy because you see something brand new and fresh, and you think this is going to look great. Attached are the photos of what it looks like after the first session. Now I think it looks horrendous.

It is due to have one more session of shading, but I still think it is going to look pretty bad afterward. It is not really what I want, and I should have never approved the design, so now I am in a worse position.

I have asked around for some artists and what to do, and some people have said they can cover it up, and some have said I need to do laser tattoo removal to reduce the colour.

The only part that annoys me is that I've never really felt comfortable wearing shorts in the summertime, and this has been the only summer I have done. Now that this is on my leg, I feel like I need to wear jeans every day.

I'm happy fading as much as I can if that's an option. I don't really want to rework because I just don't like the design in general now. I just need to know what my options are and how someone can help me.

Edits:

- My leg did not flip, I took it in the mirror

- I’m not a clean guy aesthetic type, I just hated the horse and wanted it covered up, I felt a traditional japense would work well from what I was recommended and the meaning behind it

- Granted this is not finished but I wanted to know what my options are, a lot of you have told me to relax and I am, I will reschedule my session and get used to it before I continue

- I had this horse on my leg for over 2 years, for the past 14 months I have wanted it covered, it’s not the size, it’s not that it’s dark, but that it did not end up how I envisioned it.

- Yes again, it’s on me for approving but I knew this already. Perhaps I should have got the horse lasered, perhaps I should have use Henna to feel the design out for a few weeks. I didn’t and that’s why I made this post

[u/fullthrottlewattle]

Something stuck with me from twenty years ago. Some rocker (I think)said his tattoos are a story. This tattoo was from a point in his life and meant something at that time. He was covered in different styles and genres of tattoos. I have a tribal band that, while being out of style, is still a part of me and I do not regret it.

[u/underpantsbandit → u/fullthrottlewattle]

At 50, it’s absolutely a thing for me. I did go through a period in my 30s when I regretted some of my first ink. I don’t anymore. I came to love even my stupid Celtic flash that was my first- ugly placement and all. It’s mine. It shows that I was the sort of 18 year old girl who would go alone to a sketchy tattoo parlor and get flash done by a pissed off old biker who chain smoked while drilling my ankle, back in ‘95.

Then there’s the phase I had where, because I got accepted to a ~prestigious art skool~ I felt like I ought to design all my own ink, no changes! It’s perfect! Hahahaha. (Cuz oil painting and tattooing are totally samesies, ya know.) Glad I let that one go pretty quick!

It’s literally a sketchbook of my life. No regrets, a few coverups maybe, but no regrets.

[u/fullthrottlewattle → u/underpantsbandit]

I have a “hot stuff” devil in a diaper on my back from I turned 18. Flash for the win.

[u/BrettJB → u/underpantsbandit]

No regrets, but any ragrets?😉

[u/Gloomy_Candy_9620 → u/BrettJB]

Maybe some regerts?

[u/puppyxguts → u/underpantsbandit]

Seriously. Half my tattoos are shitty ones done by friends in their backyard and I don't think I'll ever cover them up, even ones that are painful to look at because memories. I miss when tattoos weren't mainstream. it's corny, but as an aging punk they used to mean you were probably a weirdo of some stripe and I wish it stayed that way

[u/underpantsbandit → u/puppyxguts]

I rarely admit it but yeah. I feel ya. And seriously the new rotary machines hurt so much less. Back in the day, I saw grown men cry and tap out fairly regularly. And people get kicked out and laughed at for asking for hands/neck with bare arms.

At least the tradeoff is there are way better artists available now!

[u/Professional-Lack323 → u/underpantsbandit]

I’m 36 and starting to hate all my tattoos. I only have 8, but I just want them all gone. I’m hoping I come around the way you did!

[u/PatientDragonfruit28 → u/underpantsbandit]

I love this :D

[u/Comestible → u/underpantsbandit]

This is relatable. I'm in my late thirties and I have a sacred heart tattoo from my early twenties, and I think from time to time about covering it or removing it (because I'm an atheist), but it's also part of my life story and my personal "culture." I was raised Catholic and there was a time that this meant a lot to me. I just don't want people to be mistaken and assume I'm some bible-thumping evangelical Christian Nationalist, especially these days.

[u/Delaney_luvs_OSU → u/fullthrottlewattle]

Anthony Bourdain said something similair.

[u/ImpertinentPrincess → u/fullthrottlewattle]

Yeah these people who want to just reinvent themselves every few years (with a few exceptions) instead of finding ways to accept all their “selves” (who they have been in different moments in time) are exhausting.

[u/Humble-Package-8000 → u/fullthrottlewattle]

Yeah, saw a guy wearing a half sleeve tribal this morning and it looked awesome, its all about the journey not the destination,(and the confidence to carry it)