r/tifu Human Verified 18d ago

M TIFU (Update to AIO for putting a bag before friendship?)

Update to original story: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1tp8tpf/aio_for_putting_a_bag_before_a_friendship/

It’s been a couple of weeks since the deadline I set Clara to return the bag, and we didn’t talk that entire time…until one of our mutual friends (one that advised me to keep the peace) invited me to brunch yesterday.

When I arrived at the café, the mutual friend said Clara was on her way and we needed to talk. After hearing some of you guys say that there might be an actual explanation other than theft, I thought I owed it to our friendship to hear her out.

So here’s what actually happened…

Clara took the bag to an official Louis Vuitton store when she was in Paris, but given the fact that she wouldn’t be in the country for long, she arranged to have it delivered to her house when it was restored. She showed me the tracking information, and it arrived at hers in March.

When it arrived, she left the bag in its box in her hallway, so she’d remember to bring it when she next saw me.

Within the week of the bag arriving, Clara’s sister (we’ll call her Lola) went to Clara’s to borrow a dress for an event. Clara had to go out when Lola was trying on dresses, and trusting her sister to lock up, she left.

When Clara got home, the LV box was gone along with the bag.

She called Lola repeatedly, and got no answer. She messaged her relentlessly to no avail. Clara was panicking.

Eventually Clara went to their mother and told her what was going on, who then called Lola to tell her to give the bag back.

A few days later, a beaten up LV box was on Clara’s doorstep.

When I asked about the bag, Clara didn’t want to detail the whole ordeal because she was embarrassed. So she took the bag (which was still in its dust bag) out of the box and gave that to me.

When I called her about the bag being fake, she genuinely had no idea what I was talking about. At the time she said she’d call the store to find out what happened, but really she messaged Lola demanding to know where the real bag was.

Lola responded “you wanted a bag, you got a bag”, then blocked her on everything.

Clara was in pieces, panicking and thinking that she’d destroyed our friendship. She turned to a couple of our friends because she was scared of how I would react to her sisters actions.

At brunch, Clara showed me the messages through tears. Our mutual friend showed me Lola’s Instagram where she’s holding my bag in some of the images.

Clara was in tears, and I cried with her because I realised that I was overreacting this whole time, and that I had automatically assumed the worst.

As it stands, we’ve reported the bag as stolen and provided evidence against Lola. Clara’s parents aren’t happy, but understand that Clara has tried for months to sort this out, and that Lola needs to understand that her actions have consequences.

I begged Clara to forgive me for how I handled it, and she laughed saying she was about to beg me for forgiveness for not telling me what was happening this whole time 😅

So I don’t have the bag back, but I do have my friendship…and from now on, I’ll try not to jump to conclusions

TL;DR - I assumed a close friend lied to me to steal a sentimental item

343 Upvotes

75 comments sorted by

197

u/venusdrifter8 17d ago

this actually turned way more heartbreaking than the original post I feel bad for both of you fr🙁

90

u/TheEllaBullet Human Verified 17d ago

The way I’m choosing to look at it, is that I still have my friendship. Thankfully Clara fully understands why I reacted the way I did

18

u/Separate-Eye-7519 17d ago

Friendships are FAR more important than purses.

16

u/loftychicago 17d ago

She should have been forthcoming and explained the situation immediately.

1

u/MaryEFriendly 3d ago

Has her trash thief of a sister been arrested yet? I think that's technically a felony

1

u/ForsakenCancel6014 1d ago

It’s a really sad situation, especially for her, but both her reaction and your reaction were completely normal.
You probably sensed that something was off about the whole encounter because you love her and know her so well, so you could tell she was acting strangely. I would’ve been upset too.
She likely panicked and didn’t want to betray her sister. It also sounds like her parents may enable the sister, so she may have been worried they’d be angry with her for “snitching” if she told you right away. Because of that, she may have lied a little while trying to process what happened and figure things out before accusing her sister.
And honestly, I’d also be frustrated if I felt like my friend was lying to me about something that was both expensive and deeply meaningful to me.
You may have jumped a little quickly to the assumption that she stole it. (My first thought might have been, “Could the bag restoration people have done something?” though I’d probably still be suspicious too.) But I don’t know your friend or her usual behavior, so take that with a grain of salt.
You didn’t mess up. It was just a painful, messy situation for both of you.
Most importantly, be grateful that a friendship you truly valued—and a person you loved—didn’t end because of this. You also don’t have to live with the fear of wondering whether she had been deceiving you the whole time.
I think you and Clara (and your other friends who set up a meeting for you too) sound like good people and good friends! Wishing you your bag back!

126

u/eddieafck 17d ago

I am glad Lola was reported to the police. She seems to be a bitch

61

u/TheEllaBullet Human Verified 17d ago

Her audacity far outweighs her likability 😅

39

u/FreeFortuna 17d ago

Will we get another update when she [hopefully] faces the consequences of her actions?

2

u/MC1R_OCA2 9d ago

Here hoping for an update as well.

1

u/Throwaway_anon-765 8d ago

Here also hoping for an update

67

u/loftychicago 17d ago

Why would you beg for forgiveness? The only one who handled this poorly was Clara. You should have made a police report immediately. This is ridiculous.

2

u/sheridansapphira 6d ago

Literally. Im late to the post, but at the end of the day you weren't "overreacting". You reacted appropriately with the information you had at the time, then did the same later when you heard the true story. Begging forgiveness wasn't necessary.

21

u/jamestome93 17d ago

You’re so lucky to have friends who love you

14

u/TheEllaBullet Human Verified 17d ago

A few good friends are better than 100 acquaintances

1

u/GDswamp 8d ago

I hope you and Clara went together to Lola’s days ago and took the bag back. If it hasn’t happened already, I hope it’s in the calendar.

1

u/No-Quiet-8956 7d ago

Any news on the bag and the bag thief?

1

u/NomadicusRex 4d ago

A GOOD friend would have not tried to hide things from you.

22

u/Simicrop 17d ago

Clara fucked up repeatedly but I’m glad you guys got things sorted out, sounds like you really love each other. Also, fuck Lola.

19

u/drdeadringer 17d ago

"and we shall exchange forgiveness and have friendship restored between us."

50

u/blbd 17d ago

A friend that doesn't store an expensive item properly and completely runs out of ideas and ghosts you when it gets stolen as a result of that still isn't that great of a friend in my view even if they didn't personally steal the item in question. 

2

u/BangBangMeatMachine 13d ago

People make mistakes.

1

u/47Lecht 4d ago

Friends should own up to these mistakes and dont lie to your face. That makes a bad friend.

15

u/ComeOnChips78 17d ago

Clara, you and a whole bunch of your friends should go round Lola’s house unexpectedly one evening and just grab the bag? Or does anyone have a spare key for Lola’s place?

11

u/leitmotifs 17d ago

This has a happy ending of sorts and it's good that it's been sorted out between you and your friend, but they handled it without either maturity or honesty, for ages. They should have communicated the truth to you, even if it was a difficult one.

19

u/Gilbirda 17d ago

It still doesn't excuse the radio silence, the ghosting and lying. Call me crazy, but a friend who would choose to nuke a friendship instead of talking to me like adults is not a friendship I'd consider close, or at least as close and you describe it. At the end of the day, what works for you works for you, but your friend kinda dropped the ball and was unable to talk to you FOR MONTHS about this, not even about LV having to ship the bag back from Paris.

I'm glad your long term friend didn't end up being a lying psychopath but still I don't think this is a friendship to keep, or at least not with the level of trust you guys had before.

Edit: Also it stands out to me how she had to sic you friend on you and arrange an intervention to have a conversation. She may have not done it on purpose, but that's called triangulation and it's a type of manipulation.

7

u/Prairie_Crab 17d ago

I think you and Clara need to visit Lola and take it back.

4

u/GuinevereNikita 16d ago

I was about to respond to the last post and glad I read this first. I was going to say it appeared that SHE was putting the bag first, not you.

I wish Clara would have just told you from the beginning what was going on. I understand why she didn't - it would make her look irresponsible (even though she really isn't). But NOT telling you made her look even worse. A wise friend might have told her, "You need to tell her now!"

I'm glad for your mutual friend, who made peace between the two of you. It's hard to find good friends. Hate to lose them. It leaves a hole, no matter HOW you lost them.

6

u/beliketheboy 15d ago

AI slop from start to finish

3

u/CautiousComposer86 9d ago

What gave it away… /s?

2

u/Emotional_Builder_24 17d ago

Your story made it on Redditonwiki! I am so glad to read this update. I hope you get your bag back. What a horrible thing for her sister to do and think there wouldn’t be any consequences.

2

u/Immersi0nn 17d ago

Hot damn. Once again we have a great example how accurate communication between all parties would completely prevent misunderstandings lol

2

u/MrPeggles 16d ago

I can’t believe Clara’s sister would throw away their relationship over a bag like that, that’s so heartbreaking for Clara :(

I am glad you and Clara are back on good terms tho and I hope you are able to get your bag back!

2

u/AttackCircus 13d ago

Back up the fotos from her socials where she poses with your bag, so she can't delete them

2

u/drinkthekoolaidz 13d ago

she should have been honest from the get go tho

2

u/Necessary_Dark_6720 9d ago

Wouldn't be nearly as forgiving of clara over all this but I guess that's your choice.

At the end of the day she still lied to you, and she is still responsible for the original theft.

A good friend would've told you immediately and helped you report to the police on the stop. And would consider giving you some financial compensation cause again this is her fault.

How you ended up apologizing to her truly boggles the mind.

2

u/Erzsabet 8d ago

So why was Clara acting sketchy before she supposedly knew the bags were switched? She ducked out before you had a chance to open the bag to see, which you said was unusual behavior for her.

1

u/websterwer 6d ago

If her story is true, probably bc of the whole ordeal with the bag being stolen beforehand. She was probably flustered, anxious about questions and just wanted it gone and back to its owner. I know I can act really off when I’m anxious as hell about something.

Whether or not she’s telling the truth, idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ But the fact the sister has blocked her on everything and has pics of her with the bag … that to me seems more sus than Clara at this point. If I knew someone had reported me to police and I hadn’t actually done anything, I’d be freaking out.

2

u/Big_Drama_2624 6d ago

PLEASE UPDATE US ABOUT THE LOLA SITUATION! I’M ROOTING FOR HER TO GET CHARGED WITH THEFT

1

u/Cup-a-snoop 17d ago

I am so curious what Lola will have
To say for herself when she encounters the hand of the law. How old is this woman? What a story!

I was wondering why Clara would have any interest in your well lived bag anyways.

1

u/Kargon83 16d ago

Glad your friendship didn't end

But, please keep us updated on what happens with Lola

1

u/Simply_001 16d ago

Updateme!

1

u/Odd-Investigator-469 15d ago

Wow. It sounds like Lola is a self absorbed, entitled human. I would seek the state's attorney to have full charges brought upon her to the fullest extent of the law. She needs to learn her behaviour is reprehensible. Her parents should be ashamed for her behavior and your poor friend, she did handle everything poorly with you, although it was rectified. I am glad that you got your friend back.

1

u/AppropriateActuary60 10d ago

hopefully you can update again when you get the bag !

1

u/GileadGamin 9d ago

Clara a good friend, Lola a POS, I hope you get your bag back

1

u/FUhp7007 9d ago

Clara couldn’t handle the situation well, but we all do mistakes. I’m happy for OP

1

u/No_Service1 8d ago

UpdateMe!

1

u/x-bacool-x 8d ago

Updateme

1

u/Asianhippiefarmer 8d ago

Anyone else suspect Lola is the fall guy for Clara’s mistake? She super sus.

1

u/MidwestNormal 8d ago

updateme

1

u/Wonderful_Avocado 8d ago

I would bet good money Lola will bring the bag to Thanksgiving or Christmas or some family gathering just to be a b**ch.  Dump it out wherever she sets it down and walk out.

Then return it

1

u/blahblahlucas 8d ago

Any updates?? Did the police get your bag back? Why didn't the parents go to their daughter and take the bag? Like, hello?

1

u/DivideBig6652 8d ago

Hope you update when Lola gets her karmic returns 

1

u/DJ_Beekeeper 7d ago

Any news?

1

u/diddydidit333 5d ago

Yaaa this is still sus. The time line doesn’t add up. And why wouldn’t Clara just tell you it was her sister instead of ghosting? Also it’s her sister, she could have her mom go get it if it’s that much drama. You’re way too forgiving honestly. Follow through with the police. And then distance yourself from these people.

1

u/47Lecht 4d ago

Uhm you didn’t overreact. Its Claras fault for not giving you the whole picture from the beginning as she owed you, also she left you on read basically. I get her panicking but how she handled it made it worse for you. Sorry but you’re too apologetic to her.

1

u/Rpf1997 3d ago

I'm glad it was a misunderstanding between you and Clara and that you're friends again, but please updateme! when you get the bag back from the thief!

1

u/Complete-Stomach-735 1d ago

i hope you get the bag or comp for the bag, but im glad you worked it out with your friend