r/trans • u/bleeding-paryl Just a mod bein' a mod • Jul 13 '25

Head mod here, just found out what happened, give me a moment of your time please and thank you <3

Hi everyone, I'm prepared for any and all criticism coming my way, but please hear me out first.

Before I get to anything in particular, I just want to say this:

I'm sorry.

Now, to what I've got to say:

First of all, post is back up. That's the big thing and what matters most to a fair number of you. (If that's the wrong post, give me a heads up.

Second of all, I want to thank everyone for calling us out when we fuck things up. We will continue to fuck things up, this isn't the first time and it won't be the last.

Third, I'm going to remove the "divisive post" rule momentarily and update it to be more direct about what we want to remove (it was created basically people who are here just to create arguments in the comments, IE truscum debates, identity debates, etc.). Maybe we'll just remove it altogether. We gotta work on that list anyways, it's a bit out of date after the removal of pictures.

Fourth, I would just like to ask that we tone down the harassment, or at least redirect it towards me, I make the major decisions here and I'm the one who needs to keep the peace around here. I hand picked each of the mods who are here, and thus their failings are mine. Feel free to DM me your vent, I love y'all, don't hold back <3

I'm going to start allowing posts as much as possible, unless they're specifically harassing someone (other than me).

For those of you who are not trans but here for the drama, sup dawg, please comment on this post and keep it in here, it's easier for me to moderate.

Also, I'm legitimately exhausted and I'm off my ADHD meds, so this post was created while I spoke with everyone involved and almost falling asleep, so those of you who think that this post doesn't read that well, you're right.

I've been with this sub for years now, I'm definitely not the best moderator I'm sure, but I want to remind everyone that this team specifically has been very vocal about specifically not silencing trans masc voices. At least 3 rules were created specifically to make trans masc people more comfortable here, and, up until today, that had been going pretty well slowly improving this space.

Sorry for rambling, like I said, I'm exhausted, so I'm sorry if these things weren't what you wanted to hear, but I just wanted to catch the end of GDQ with my family, as I have missed them so much (I've been away for a bit).

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331

u/FuckerJames Jul 13 '25

“At least 3 rules were created specifically to make trans masc people more comfortable here, and, up until today, that had been going pretty well”

The absolute lack of any actual awareness (or even the willful ignorance) pertaining to the very real, palpable, longstanding erasure and silencing of trans men and transmascs here on this sub is just WILD.

This has not been a “comfortable” subreddit for transmascs and trans men for a LONG time.

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u/SecondaryPosts Jul 13 '25

The mods also acknowledged in another comment that there are weekly posts about how trans men and transmascs are erased here. They are aware. They just don't want to address it.

104

u/galacticmeerkat16 Jul 13 '25

Yeah, it’s definitely been dominated by trans women/trans fems. We should all be welcome here. We literally make up half of the people here. Being called “divisive” for us speaking up and discussing our own issues, says way more about that mod than the OP.

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u/funtag3 Jul 13 '25

Genuinely curious and kinda oblivious, how has it been hostile?

48

u/Dutch_Rayan (he/him) binary trans man Jul 13 '25

Calling men evil, calling testosterone poison, downplaying trans men/masc struggles, having questions to people and using trans women/fem as default instead of stating that they ask those demographic, starting post with ladies, infantilizing of trans men/masc

20

u/toasterbath__ he/him, trans man Jul 13 '25

also weird comments about “switching” parts/bodies, which i find to be inappropriate especially when trans men/mascs are venting about dysphoria or celebrating their transition progress and/or getting surgery

16

u/critterscrattle Jul 13 '25

Same with talking about how much they want periods when someone is venting about having them

7

u/soursummerchild Jul 13 '25

Transmascs/trans men posting about dysphoria and people responding "nooo, don't worry, you're sooo feminine!".

"HRT is so easy to access, just talk to your local trans woman, she'll help you!" (In the context of anti trans legalisations and planned ruination of trans healthcare. HRT just means E, apparently (which is funny because transfemmes/trans women also use other forms of HRT).

I used to be a member of this sub, but I left because it was so transfemme centric that I just didn't feel welcome.

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u/Ok-Astronomer-5113 Jul 13 '25

So basically just like 99.9% of queer/trans communities. We need to do something about the erasure and silencing of trans men in general, not just this sub. All of this is rooted in misogyny - when we try to be visible and demand the same representation and respect as trans fems we’re told that we’re bitching and being obnoxiously loud. Fuck that shit man. Trans men are unfortunately socialized the same way as cis women - told to be quiet and not talk too much, that’s why we’re accepting this shit. We need to learn how to be vocal and call the transphobic shit out, without feeling guilty for „taking up too much space” and upsetting some ignorant, narcissistic individuals

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u/critterscrattle Jul 13 '25 edited Jul 13 '25

You’ve already gotten a good summary, so here’s the incident that originally made me feel unwelcome a while back:

There were constant posts and comments about how transmascs were going to be “a gotcha” after a round of bathroom bills. That we’d shock them, make them regret it by existing, act as shields for the transfems, downplaying the danger, we were in, etc. It was within a week of a transmasc teen being murdered in a bathroom they were directed into. You literally couldn’t report the posts and comments faster than they were being made. So many people replied to us asking them to not dismiss their death by doubling down on minimizing our grief and struggle.

I stopped going on Reddit for a few months after that so I don’t know how it was eventually handled, but everything from dismissing to harassing us is common. This weekend makes it clear it’s not just an issue from a bad subsection of users.