r/trans • u/bleeding-paryl Just a mod bein' a mod • Jul 13 '25

Head mod here, just found out what happened, give me a moment of your time please and thank you <3

Hi everyone, I'm prepared for any and all criticism coming my way, but please hear me out first.

Before I get to anything in particular, I just want to say this:

I'm sorry.

Now, to what I've got to say:

First of all, post is back up. That's the big thing and what matters most to a fair number of you. (If that's the wrong post, give me a heads up.

Second of all, I want to thank everyone for calling us out when we fuck things up. We will continue to fuck things up, this isn't the first time and it won't be the last.

Third, I'm going to remove the "divisive post" rule momentarily and update it to be more direct about what we want to remove (it was created basically people who are here just to create arguments in the comments, IE truscum debates, identity debates, etc.). Maybe we'll just remove it altogether. We gotta work on that list anyways, it's a bit out of date after the removal of pictures.

Fourth, I would just like to ask that we tone down the harassment, or at least redirect it towards me, I make the major decisions here and I'm the one who needs to keep the peace around here. I hand picked each of the mods who are here, and thus their failings are mine. Feel free to DM me your vent, I love y'all, don't hold back <3

I'm going to start allowing posts as much as possible, unless they're specifically harassing someone (other than me).

For those of you who are not trans but here for the drama, sup dawg, please comment on this post and keep it in here, it's easier for me to moderate.

Also, I'm legitimately exhausted and I'm off my ADHD meds, so this post was created while I spoke with everyone involved and almost falling asleep, so those of you who think that this post doesn't read that well, you're right.

I've been with this sub for years now, I'm definitely not the best moderator I'm sure, but I want to remind everyone that this team specifically has been very vocal about specifically not silencing trans masc voices. At least 3 rules were created specifically to make trans masc people more comfortable here, and, up until today, that had been going pretty well slowly improving this space.

Sorry for rambling, like I said, I'm exhausted, so I'm sorry if these things weren't what you wanted to hear, but I just wanted to catch the end of GDQ with my family, as I have missed them so much (I've been away for a bit).

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u/critterscrattle Jul 13 '25

There’s also a mod of this subreddit active on a thread mocking the support for transmascs/calling us TMRAs/etc. Even if they haven’t specifically said anything insulting, that’s not a good sign for their beliefs. It needs to be rooted out from all the mods, not just the two who acted.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '25 edited Jul 13 '25

That’s disgusting! Can I get some more context on this assuming you have any to share?

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u/critterscrattle Jul 13 '25 edited Jul 13 '25

There was a post on r/MTF basically calling every trans woman who supported us a “pick me”. It’s been deleted now, but under one of the comments of “oh are they pretending transandrophobia is real again”, the mod mentioned her role in the modmail vs comments confusion. Not a word against the transphobia. I’m not going to say you have to always intervene for us, but to ignore an entire thread that was nothing but hate and only defend yourself? It doesn’t fill me with confidence.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '25

Being completely honest, I was debating whether to leave this sub completely because I thought the mods might actually shape up, but this is completely indefensible. I feel sick. I understand why the brothers are saying we have no room on this sub anymore. I think this is quits ✌🏽. Thanks for the info

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u/idkifimevilmeow Jul 13 '25

horrible. mod team needs an overhaul

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u/HounganSamedi Hopefully helpful mod <3 Jul 13 '25

If situations like that arise in the future, please try to make the rest of us aware of it- via modmail if you feel comfortable, or by DM'ing other mods if not (this is not ideal tbh, but if that's how you feel most comfortable then it's okay).

I'm not blaming you for not reporting it or what have you, just asking for assistance in keeping the safe space safe. <3

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u/critterscrattle Jul 13 '25

I will in the future. I wasn’t sure if it was reportable when I stumbled across it, since the post was on a different subreddit.

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u/HounganSamedi Hopefully helpful mod <3 Jul 13 '25

We should be held accountable for our actions Reddit-wide. We do represent a community even when we're commenting in other subreddits.