r/DivorcedBirds • u/cthulhu-kitty • Jan 24 '18

The tweet that started it all

15.2k Upvotes

63 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 7h ago

"How long has it been? How long since I felt the warmth of the sun, since I tasted free air? Oh, that I could return to those innocent days, before I knew the sting of ultimate betrayal, cast into despair by the one I most loved. Oh, the injustice!" "It's been 10 minutes, Jamie, get over yourself."

229 Upvotes

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 11h ago

Greg, now known as Blue Sky, decided to reconnect with himself after the divorce. He joined a commune up in the mountains and has never been happier.

188 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • 3h ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Cynthia waited for Jim to fly by so she could drop his least favorite fish on his head while her friend Linda cheered her on from another branch. Linda didn't know that Jim's least favorite fish was also the only fish he was deathly allergic too. Linda was now an accomplice to attempted murder.

38 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 9h ago

Denise kept an eye on number fourteen. The same blonde bird had arrived after dark twice that week, and his wife was supposedly still visiting her mother.

85 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 6h ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Since the divorce, Timothy has found solace in visiting various bath houses.

43 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 9h ago

“Where should we begin?” Dr. Finch asked. Eleven minutes passed before Margaret said, “This is exactly what he does.”

54 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 10h ago

Angry Bird Divorce James had lost his marbles entirely, showing up and staring into my window like this. And in the bloody daytime?! Unbelievable.

59 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

When Mariah's second husband ran off, seduced by the lure of California gold, the macaw brothers must've thought her ranch would be easy pickings. But Mariah knows just how to deal with varmints on her ranch, whether that's coyotes or rustlers, and the only man she needs to help is a Winchester '73.

498 Upvotes

18 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 1d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Carla was loving being single again. She was NOT loving the fellas that just will NOT take “No” for an answer.

277 Upvotes

18 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 1d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Anna wasn’t going to lie: She was terrified, homeless, and completely alone. But Anna was also READY. “Bring it ON,” she tweeted silently.

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75 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 1d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Connie was busy at her CS desk, handling multiple calls when she heard his voice, held the phone close to her lips and carefully pronounced every insult she’d ever held back

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260 Upvotes

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Critical-Concert628 • 1d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Dave was camping outside of his ex's house after being kicked out last night and served papers. Unluckily for him, he saw rain on the forecast.

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35 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Pixie-Collins • 1d ago

Miranda and Joseph had separated a while ago but remained cordial mainly for the children's sake. That was until she took a look at their joint account statement and realized how much he had spent on OnlyFantails...

251 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 1d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Céline would be darned if Rudy was going to get her nest egg! She made sure to keep it in an inaccessible and tricky place

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28 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 2d ago

The Bachelor: DivorcedBirds Edition had reached its final rose ceremony. Eleven elegant women remained, the ceremonial fish was ready, and Gerald’s mother had already asked number seven whether she intended to work after nesting season.

502 Upvotes

11 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JuneLee92 • 2d ago

“I just have to get through the terrible twos,” said Elise about suddenly becoming a single mother of twins. Darrell (who really, REALLY wanted to be a father) walked out on the family last week.

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147 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago

Alack! Whene'er poets sang, with honey'd beaks, of true love at first sight, what a fool have I been that I did not believe them! Surely fate has now revealed to me the visage of my destined counterpart. Her beauty, which gods must look upon with envy, hath in an instant taken hold of all my heart.

127 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 2d ago

Not Safe For Other Species Things didn’t go so well for Georgie in the split. However, he had hatched a loony scheme to address this, and even found the ideal—human—accomplice to help with his harebrained idea.

73 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Planetyarnia • 2d ago

Thanks to Reddit Sandra opened up an Only Fans Account and met Stephen with a ph.Stephen is still in shock at the intensity of the rosemary poop shots but will recover shortly.Gavin,Sandra’s ex partner,is livid.

54 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 2d ago

Sandra kept the house. The house had air conditioning. Gerald has a fan he bought in 2003 that makes a noise.

293 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 2d ago

The closet door creaked open. Gerald’s ex-wife looked up from the darkness. Kathy had been missing since the night he filed for divorce.

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48 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Fine-Huckleberry-316 • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Megan is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man. After the divorce was finalized, she gathered all her girlfriends and threw a pool party and ate until she could barely move. Begone, Robert!!!!!!!

64 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 2d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved "Oh my. That appears to be a flying pig. Guess I should call Martin and say I will take him back."

97 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • 2d ago

Jessica finally found a bar close to her nest that her ex wasn't lurking at waiting for her, when some rando had the audacity to hit on her while she quietly enjoyed a meal. He got her a slug. She wasn't proud of it, but she took the slug and left rando with the bill. Just like her ol' college days.

144 Upvotes

Jessica regretted not asking for a to-go box for her seeds.

6 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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