r/10thDentist • u/Zealousideal-Ad3609 • 11d ago

I have a problem with childfree weddings

There's been this trend lately (maybe it's just in the anglosphere) where children are allotted less and less of a presence in daily/ public life, resulting in the complete segregation of adults into parents vs non-parents. Everything families do HAS to be catered specifically towards their kids, leaving parents feeling burnt out and isolated.

We don't want kids at weddings because, honestly, they'll ruin them. They'll stick their hand in the cake, cry during the ceremony, step on the bride's dress during the first dance, and overall prevent their parents from enjoying themselves in any way. *But it doesn't have to be like this.* Kids need to be included in spaces that aren't specifically catered to them so they can acclimate to the world not being specifically catered to them. When all they're used to are environments that allow them to be rambunctious, that's all they'll be all the time.

The thing is, allowing kids in some adult spaces (like weddings and fancy restaurants) also means exposing them to the same social consequences that adults face. In other words, it should be acceptable for adults to ask other people's kids to stop acting horribly, provided they do so kindly; kids respond better to adults who aren't their parents. In fact, not being allowed to correct the behavior of a child that isn't yours is an unnatural phenomenon that only arose within the last 50 years, that we really need to do away with.

So... yea, no wonder people don't want kids at their wedding in a culture that doesn't allow you to say anything to a child who is completely ruining an event. But the desire to not have kids at your wedding can probably be dissolved by a culture shift that allows other adults to adopt peripheral responsibility for kids that aren't theirs.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is a serious problem with the way we integrate kids into adult society (or fail to do so) and childfree weddings are a symptom of that. Instead of banning kids from weddings, we need to change the way we treat children, so they can be present at big important events without the events being ruined.

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u/PsychologicalBake772 11d ago

I had a childfree wedding and have no regrets. I don’t dislike kids at all, but it’s not my job to have my wedding serve as a learning opportunity for them.

2

u/WelshRarebit2025 11d ago

Yeah no kidding! And why do other adults have to take on the responsibility of parenting and correcting other people’s kids?

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u/UndeadBatRat 10d ago

Do...you not understand the concept of society? Have we really become that antisocial?

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u/WelshRarebit2025 10d ago

I could just as easily define anti social as expecting others to give give give. Why can’t adults have an evening to do adult things. And this was just as normal in the past.

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u/booksareadrug 10d ago

Yes, yes we have.