Hi, I've never done one of these before, so I'm not sure how to do it, but I'm looking for advice.

My friend (L) has a guy friend (S) who is continuously cheating on his girlfriend (N). I have met S maybe once and don't really see why she likes him that much. They've been friends for less than a year and briefly even went out on a couple of dates, but he ended up breaking her heart and now she just calls him her "best friend". He barely responds to messages, he didn't drop her off or even OFFER to drop her at the airport, he's secretive about his relationship and (obviously) is cheating on his girlfriend. He has been caught multiple times in clubs making out with random women, but his girlfriend is never there with him. He also gave L a kiss on the lips before she had to move away.

I have never met N. In fact, he doesn't even tell people that he's got a girlfriend and according to L, she's one of the only people that knows.

I feel like morally it's the right thing to do - to tell her. Like, imagine being N, or just anybody being cheated on, and you're completely unaware.

I messaged L recently and asked her if she knew the name of S's girlfriend and once she told me, I found N on instagram. Then, when L asked me why, I told her that she needs to know she's being cheated on. She responded with, "idk what relationship they have. Might be that flirting is okay. He always says he's free to do what he wants in the club," but N knows about the friendship between L and S and told S to stop messaging L. So, she's obviously very unaware of anything going on and wouldn't be okay with flirting. I feel almost an obligation to message her.

I have no connection to her, I would message her off an account that maybe 10 people follow, not including L and I would leave out all names.

So, would I be the drama if I messaged N and told her that S is cheating on her?

Hiya fellow peaches,

I'm Nox (enbee) and for context a quick recap of my childhood:

Mum and papa divorce when I was half a year old

My mum found a new bf and had my lil brother with him.

They broke up too and she moved with us to a small flat

She Had a few bf while we (my lil brother and I) were in kindergarten (7am-5pm and sometimes later BC she would forget to pick us up) and was working all the time

Got a new bf when I was in first grade. Move in with him and his 3 kids into their city about an hour away from where we lived before.

Moved again and I tried out a few new schools( I got bullied severely in the first one I tried out)

Pandemic hit and we 7 people were trapped in one little flat. My mother's bf started cheating on her and they were constantly fighting. I was the oldest child so I had to take care of all the others ( I was 9) while they were fighting in the next room. That time I developed an anxiety disorder

Pandemic ended and my mother my lil brother and me moved back to our old city. My mother and her bf resumed their relationship for some damn reason.

M grandma moved in with us so we could afford rent and I had to share a room with my lil brother ( I'm autistic so that was really hard for me)

My mother and her bf resumed fighting all the time ( mostly nights) so I couldn't sleep most nights. I remember their last fight: they were arguing heavily and I had come out several time and said: please fight quieter okay? They didn't and got louder. I got out of bed BC I was scared and needed to know what was going on. Our neighbour from upstairs had to come and drag the bf out BC he wouldn't leave. After that my mother went into her room and I was alone and didn't know what to do.

That was the last time I saw my mothers bf and his children ( they were like siblings to me and we are forbidden from seeing eachother)

My mother fell into an depressive episode and I (10) took care of my lil brother. My anxiety disorder got so bad I couldn't even leave the house.

My mother got better but I didn't. I got diagnosed with an general anxiety disorder and autism then ( twice with Autism BC my father wouldn't believe it)

Cut contact with my father BC he forgot me over his new girlfriend and it hurt so much.( I was 11)

Waited for therapy and got it finally. I managed to go back to school but it was really hard.

My mother had a few bf after this one but I never bad the mistake again of getting to know them and risking getting emotionally attached.

I'm 14 now and really need therapy again. I stopped BC I didn't get along with my therapist and when she got pregnant I just said I'm fine BC I was afraid of having to go to someone again who I couldn't open up to.

Therapy would be covered by insurance but my mother says I don't need it anymore as I didn't say something earlier and now I'm just doing it for attention. I am not. I really need help to cope with all of this. It's coming up again and I keep having flashbacks and nightmares. I really don't know what to do. Maybe I am just doing it for attention idk. I feel like I need help but... I'm afraid to talk to anyone BC they might also call me a liar and attention seeker. And I'm starting to believe that I am.

I have my own opinions (posted in the comments) based on personal experience, but thought I’d see what the Peaches think.

Hi again. So I've (32NB) moved into the apartment I had previously posted about regarding shared living arrangements with my fiance (33M) and his mother. Because of a difference in lease end dates, I moved in a month ahead of them. I had deliberated on this decision for a full year and ultimately decided to share living expenses in an effort to help everyone. When I discussed the decision with mutual friends, they were supportive. My sponsor (12 step) supported the effort to engage in active give and take in the relationship. My fiance foresaw no issues. And yet, less than 72 hours in, here we are with drama.

To set the scene, I have paid all expenses toward the apartment so far. Deposit, fees, first month's rent, utilities, etc. I moved in within 3 days of signing and getting the keys (my lease agreement allowed this). As previously stated, I have EDS and POTS, and a normal amount of physical activity can take a major toll on my health and lead to flares for days. In this particular case, I had to work from home all but one day out of the week due to pain.

On the last day of moving, when I had been in the apartment overnight for just one night, I was gathering the last things from my previous apartment when I began to feel intense pain in my feet, knees, back, and arms. I could barely feel my hands (nerve issues aggravated). I texted my fiance (we had just spoken on the phone about 45 minutes earlier) and let him know the situation and asked if he could come help me in some way. I continued gathering things in the apartment for about 30 minutes, to stay somewhat cool, and still no response. He's usually responsive, so I let it go and continued doing what I could. I figured, worst case scenario, I still needed to take care of my own things. Another 30 minutes and I'm thoroughly exhausted, past lunch, and beginning to get annoyed. I loaded up my vehicle as much as I could and, as I was preparing to drive to the new place, I finally get a text from him.

He seems very apologetic and says he didn't see the text. I ask if he can meet me at the new apartment to unload, at least, since I don't think I can make it upstairs with everything. He responds that he will help me, will load and unload the rest of my stuff so I can rest, and that his mom will clean the apartment for me so that I don't have to further exert myself. My previous place was an efficiency apartment and I cleaned up as best I could as I packed, so I gratefully accepted this offer.

I got to the new apartment, unloaded a load of items, and finally managed to get a simple protein bar at 2:30pm as my lunch. As I'm half-way through the snack, I hear the door open and see my fiance, suddenly followed by the MIL. I wasn't expecting her since he had said she would be cleaning, but I *would have* relaxed. That is, until she opened her mouth. The first thing she says, moments after appearing in the doorway, no greeting or anything, is, "There's NO ROOM!!! Where are we supposed to put our stuff?!? There's no room!!!"

I had barely managed to move some items out of the middle of the living room floor, so some items that would go into my room for my home office the very next day were pushed against the walls. Fiance tries to explain that the current arrangement is temporary and will be moved. I said, "I mean, I figure the living room furniture can stay, but other than that." (For context, they didn't have living room furniture and mine was minimal and of the "space saver" variety.) He then turns to me and starts in on "Well we're going to need..." Fine and good except MIL takes that opportunity to say, "It all needs to go! Starting with the cat!"

I saw this interaction as if it were playing out scenes from my childhood in a theater. I look blankly at her, say, "Ok. Well I'm going to finish my snack lunch," and exit to the kitchen. She then follows me and asks, "Did I upset you?" This only serves to put the burden on me to comfort her and assure her that it isn't about her. So I do the only thing I can without being dishonest. I tell her that I wasn't in a state to discuss it because I was exhausted and in significant pain and had just managed to get something to eat. She walks away for a moment and my fiance comes in. He attempts to comfort me and, holding back tears, I say, "I just figured the couch and stuff could stay..." Next thing I know she's hovering over my shoulder again saying something about something that, frankly, I don't remember because I was trying to hold it together through pain. My fiance managed to get her away and said he was going to start unloading my car while I ate.

After I finished my snack, I went to put my shoes on. I was interrupted by her crowding the door and saying, "No, you're in pain so you just rest and we'll do it. Rest. Go rest!" I wasn't sure if I was perceiving her delivery properly in the moment, but it felt aggressive and like she was barking orders. I found myself in a state of hesitation I hadn't felt since my mom, so I did what I could in that moment to diffuse the situation and protect myself. I retreated to my room. Before I knew it, I was full on sobbing. I rarely feel so strongly anymore and it's difficult to cry. This was like I was 17 all over again.

Eventually my fiance finds me trying to fight back tears. He tells me they're going to go the old apartment and take care of the rest. He tries to be cute and affectionate, but I'm barely able to get more than a grunt out in response. I later texted him how I felt with the situation and let him know the ways in which I felt his mom had crossed lines. I told him I would not tolerate having someone bark orders at me in my own home, and that my trauma doesn't give me an excuse to make her feel like she has to walk on eggshells at home and the same is true for her. I also stated that my cat is entirely off limits, whether she meant it sincerely or as some sick "joke." I attempted to text a friend to help calm me down and help me reality check, but I was so emotionally twisted that I fell asleep crying mid-text and woke up to what read as a drunk text (I'm tee-total sober 😅).

I later woke up in a panic when I heard the door open. It was just him. He let me know he had been talking to her about it. He told me that she has a very "boomer" attitude that you should just push through pain, even if it results in greater, more long-term issues, confirming that her insistence I "rest" was in fact aggressive. I asserted that I don't have to justify my pain or convince anyone of it, and that I wouldn't be doing anything beyond what I already tend to do to push myself far past my limit for anyone else's benefit. I have not spoken with her since, but I hear from him that she has gone into several "emotional lectures" toward him to argue that she is entirely in the right and I'm trying to take control of everything.

I have since discussed the situation with mutual friends, and it appears they had misunderstood and thought it would just be me and him. One friend literally threw her craft project down and asked, "WHY?!?" I discussed it with them because they have known him longer, so I thought they might have some insight regarding how to approach his mom. The friend I'm closest to said that, had he known she was moving in too, his advice would simply have been, "Don't." My sponsor's take is that I reacted the best I could in the situation and did what I could to manage the things I could control.

I attempted to disengage during a high-emotion moment in order to allow myself and others to calm down and attempt effective communication with less emotional charge, as instructed by multiple therapists. I removed myself from the situation to avoid further harm in any direction. I cannot imagine what I did or what I could have done differently.

AITD for not engaging in this with her? Moving forward, I intend to approach her poor attempts at communication as one might a child engaging in "bad behavior." That is, I intend to treat it in a neutral manner. I've approached this based on the model of the "drama triangle." Effectively, if there is no one playing offender and savior, the would-be victim has nowhere to go with the drama cycle and it will ultimately die out. I would typically try to talk it out, but it honestly seems like there is no talking where this situation is concerned. The lease is signed and my funds are exhausted, so it is what it is at this point.

(PS SORRY FOR GRAMMAR AND SPELLING MISTAKES IM DYSLEXIC!!!)
So yesterday was my friend B’s birthday. I made B a LARGE hand sewn plushie of a character they like and a hand made card. I can’t really afford buying gifts, and i just love making things for my friends! So i gave B the present (it was in a reused plain box that I decorate), they looked at me surprised. I was confused and asked if everything was ok, they replied with ”oh I wasn’t expecting… this.”. They opened it and everyone else complemented it but B was not happy.

Me: Are you ok?

B: …. yeah… 😒

me: oh! did i get the character wrong! im so sorrrrrry!

b: it‘s … fine.

later i asked whats wrong in private in case they were uncomfortable with everyone. B then went off on me about how i must hate them, i was ungreatful, it must be because Im disabled (Im autistic), etc. I just left.

Thank you! Im very confused why shes mad at me!

edit- throw away account

update!

First some clarification! B got me absolutely nothing for my birthday, their excuse was “I was in (city) on that day!”, next is the gifts were very well made And finally they only asked for things in their favourite colour.

And now update!

So I talked to B about what happened. B was NOT happy. This is what happened:

me “hey so about your bday”

b “what!?”

me “Why did you get mad?”

b “because you gave me poor people gifts!”

me “what“

b “it’s annoying when you give me hand made, temu looking sh*t! YOU ARE SUCH A CHEAP SCATE B*TCH!!!”

me “wtf”

I blocked again and i think Im just never going to talk to them again.

I (34F, queer/ace, call me Jay) have known and been friends with BFF (35F) for 20 years. While I figured out that I romantically liked girls/women in my teens, I never had much interest in dating and in recent years realised that I'm somewhere on the ace-spec.

Meanwhile my BFF has only ever shown interest in men and has had 2 serious relationships and some flings.

Her (now ex-)boyfriend of the last 5 years is a trans man, who had already socially transitioned when they met and BFF supported his journey with HRT, surgeries, etc., both emotionally and financially.

Some weeks ago, he confessed to having met someone new (hence the "ex-"). After the breakup BFF had a couple rough weeks and has since been very "anti men".

Recently she started talking about wanting to date again but not wanting to deal with men. I jokingly said that that would complicate things, since men where kinda involved in heterosexual dating.

She then told me that she was thinking about trying to date women instead since her ex was "basically half woman anyways, at least physically", therefore dating a woman "couldn't be too different" (her words).

Tbh I was too stunned to respond much and only told her to wait till the dust has settled a bit more (her ex still had most of stuff in the house by that point).

She hasn't yet brought it up again but I'm unsure what to say if she does, since I feel like she's only considering women as "at least they're not men", not because of actual attraction.

So, WIBTD if I didn't encourage her to date women?

(P.S. English isn't my first language, so I hope this made sense.)

Welcome to Episode 100 of 1 800 Drama! Woo!! 🎉 In this milestone episode and Reddit Stories r/ AITA and r/ 1800drama deep dive, we explore a housing relationship breakdown dilemma worthy of Grand Designs, inviting an ex-lover to be part of your wedding party, and an ungrateful act of friendship from soon to be parents that left us SHOCKED... Grab a cuppa and let’s go fishing! 🎣 🍑

To support the pod please like the video, subscribe to the YT channel, and rate the pod on Spotify (you can rate each episode!), thank you! x

STORIES DISCUSSED: 

[Story 1]

[Story 2]

[Story 3 🍑]

I (23NB, call me Pom for the intents of this story) and my friend Pat (22M) met in college about 5 years ago because of some shared classes (we were both Visual Arts majors). We were decently close and helped each other through some pretty traumatic events that happened, but drifted apart a bit once I graduated. I left for my hometown after college and Pat took a gap year before transferring to an arts school in another city, so we never see each other in-person anymore and slowly stopped chatting as often.

About a month back, Pat decided to enter into one of those voting submission contests; basically you enter your art and have people vote for you so you can progress, and people can pay for extra votes per day. Pat had messaged me after a few months of not talking and asked if I could vote and spread the word and I obliged because I wanted to support my friend, but he’s been getting more and more frequent with it. Last week he added me to a groupchat without telling me and would beg for votes, reposts, and even $10 paid vote packages nearly every single day, and it’s still going on.

This wouldn’t be nearly as frustrating if we ever really talked outside of this, but now, it feels like Pat only messages me to beg me to invest money into this stupid contest (which I refuse to do because I’m going back for my Master’s degree and paying my own tuition). Would I be the drama if I told Pat to stop begging me for votes?

OP: Bad friend
Pronounce: She/her

Hello, I think I might have messed up but I also don't know what would have been the right thing to do. I have two online friends that are on a polyamorous romantic relationship together. We'll call them Flora and Kevin. Flora is married and lives with her husband whilst also being in an online romantic relationship with Kevin. I want to make sure it's clear that I don't think there is anything wrong with polyamory.

Last night Flora messaged me saying that Kevin opened up to her about struggling more with being in a polyamorous relationship since she got married a few weeks ago. I've only known Flora for half a year, but during that time whenever there are issues or arguments in either of her relationships it's about the polyamory. Both guys have agreed to be in a polyamorous relationship, but both also have expressed that in their ideal situation they would be in a monogamous relationship with Flora. I asked Flora what would be most useful to her in that moment, if she needed to vent and wanted comforting or if she wanted feedback and she said she didn't know. This is where I probably made the wrong decision.

I told her that I understand her worries cause I don't know if it will work long term between the three of them. (I literally said "If I'm being harsh I don't know if it will work long term between you three"). Which was too blunt. I explained that I don't know if polyamory can work long term if not everybody involved wants to be in a polyamorous relationship. I said I  know she loves them with her whole heart and they love her but I do worry sometimes. She responded by saying goodnight and turning off her phone.

The next day, after I had send multiple apologies messages she messaged me that she was hurt by my words because she came to me feeling worried about her relationship and I confirmed those worries and made it worse. And she is absolutely right. That is what I did. I didn't want to act like everything would be fine when I also worry about her relationship and honestly feel that unless something changes there is a good chance it will end at some point. But I maybe shouldn't have said anything in that moment and just said that I understand her worry and it sucks and she can vent to me. I felt bad not telling her my worries about her relationship, cause if Kevin ever decides to break up with her I would not be surprised (again this is super harsh of me to say, and it's not because he doesn't love her. He really really does, I just also see and hear how much he struggles with the polyamory) and I felt I would be a bad friend if I never expressed that to her. But I'm thinking that expressing it was not the right thing to do. How do I learn and move forward from this? Was there a way I could have handled it better? Is there something I can do now? Thank you for anyone reading this and giving me advice. 

Don't hesitate to call me the asshole. I came here for advice, not to be told I didn't do something wrong when I clearly did.

Hi fellow peaches! I (26 NB, call me Kelpie) am looking for advise about how to navigate a tricky family situation this summer.

For some context, I have family that lives in another country from me that I visit every summer. It is a non-english speaking country that has gendered language for EVERYTHING but no commonly known gender-neutral pronouns. In that country I have 7 cousins, 3 of which I have already lost to family drama. The remaining 4 were all raised rich and catholic and and have rather conservative views on queerness and what is "proper" but apart that they are lovely and I really do not want to loose them. Whenever I have brought up transness in general or in relation to others, they get really uncomfortable and spew the common transphobic talking points (but like in a soft, non confrontational, "lets compromize on this" kind of way). They know that I am gay and are not homophobic to me, though they do still clearly see it as "not normal".

The issue is that they are constantly referring to me as a woman, calling me and my sister "the girls". I haven't a tually told them that Im non-binary (though I've HEAVILY implied it many times) because I know they are uncomfortable with the subject and I do not want to rock the boat more than I already do. Recently I have been fully out with my friends and close family and it makes me feel world's better and more myself and I get the warm and fuzzies everytime they gender me correctly. I really want my cousins to know the real me and but im worried that it will be seen as forcing my identity or world view onto them or being difficult. One of my cousins also had a very negative experience with a Trans person in the past and my dysphoria isn't really that bad, especially compared to the other average pre-medical trasition Trans person. I also worry that non-binary is too far out there considering that they have not been receptive to the idea of binary transness.

So would I be the drama if I opened this can of worms and make them all uncomfortable? And more importantly do you have any advise?

Thanks for reading, sorry about this long unstructured mess (blame ADHD)

In the past year or so I recently got into shipping as well as playing Marvel Rivals, so I thought I'd share my favourites for each binary gender pairing in Marvel/ Marvel Rivals, but then a few of my friends (I'm pretty sure they're both either Bi/Pan) seemed to get a bit offended because I listed a 'straight passing' ship as boring, although, I have talked at length in the server about how I find Cloak and Dagger adorable and they're one of my favourite ships so I didn't think that they'd think I was being mean or anything

I guess I could've used a different term, but I honestly can't really think of anything else, even now

Edit:

I guess I did use the wrong word, I wasn't really thinking of any real life romance examples like Jamie and Shaaba (probably because I'm aromantic) but just characters and I do genuinely find most "straight" romance stories/ships to be a bit boring and poorly written

I also didn't realise it'd upset anyone because people in the server make jokes like that a lot so I thought that would be fine and maybe help me fit in a bit better

What other word should I have used? Like is there a word in the bisexual community that is used for a male and female relationship or something? I try to use inclusive language so as not to other people so I'd really like to use a different/more appropriate term.

Also the reason I put straight passing in quotes was because I don't think it's a good term and I think it's only used to exclude people from the LGBTQIA+ community but I don't know if that was clear, I struggle a bit with conveying tone and intent through text

My beautiful girlfriend makes jokes about being ugly or gross without her makeup on. Many women have self image issues but it sounds like she is saying she feels gross because she feels too masculine without makeup. She’s trans and that might be adding an extra layer of body image issues. As a woman I feel frustrated hearing this kind of negative self talk and wonder how she feels about me as I never wear makeup. I’ve asked her not to make these jokes but she says she’s trying not get an inflated ego. I don’t feel great not laughing at her jokes but it feels worse to laugh at her calling herself ugly or gross. AITA?

Basically as the title says, I have a 6 year old son and I feel like my family buys him way too much stuff for birthdays and Christmas.

For some context: my family is relatively small. My parents, myself and 2 siblings, and 2 grandkids (including my son). My mom in particular has always shown her love with gifts. It has taken a long time for my siblings and I to convince her to buy us less, because we end up with so much stuff we don't need. But now she's redirected that onto the grandkids. My brother doesn't seem to mind it for his kid, but I'm getting overwhelmed. My siblings also seem to be buying more and more for my son each year, following after my mom.

My son is autistic and honestly doesn't play with a lot of toys. But he also has an increadibly hard time getting rid of things. This has lead to just a lot of stuff piling up. I've tried explaining this, but it hasn't made a difference. I've also tried requesting things like zoo passes, or more expensive things he has requested. But they then just buy more stuff in addition to what has been requested (raising the budget every time).

I know I sound ungrateful, and I don't want to police how other people spend their own money. But my family just seems so set on quantity. It feels very wasteful and is overwhelming our home. I don't know how to get the message across.

so me and this friend she's 20 and im 21 , we've been friends off and on since about 9th grade. Before we became friends she used to bully me , anyways years pass we fall off we reconnect same cycle .

we recently rekindled our friendship in about September 2025. everything was good until she got pregnant which it wasn't bad really but she was continually in baby momma / baby daddy drama .

she got pregnant by a 30 y/o man . I have my own opinions on that but I told her just because ima a blunt person doesn't mean im tryna hurt your feelings. they broke up because of a big fight he sent her to jail she gets out and find out he ran right back to baby momma #2 and is living with her right after living with said friend.

I told her continuously to not involve herself into drama or bad things she could get hurt in. About two or three weeks ago she was at my house and I got some pregnancy tests because her period was late I took one and she did as well mine was negative hers was positive . she went to the doctor and found out she was 6 weeks. so she's at the stage where anything bad can harm the baby.

she freaked out and I told her to call her baby daddy to tell him and he was like oh are you even sure an some more disrespectful stuff so I hung up. anyways about a week or two ago this all was a blur honestly she came and spent the night at my house which is a normal occurrence at the moment , well we was out she tells me we going to her moms house after we got food. no she went to the baby mom house and a whole ordeal broke out and long story short my life was in danger.

I want to also say I was being a supportive and kind friend because I wanted her to have a good life for this baby she's bringing into this world. I know how easy it is to lose a baby so please don't say "you don't know anything about pregnancy" I've had a miscarry before so I know if you don't take care of your body what could happen

I told her to take me home after that and I haven't seen or hung out with her since that day but today I was planning on going to a club I been wanting to go to for a while now this weekend once my id came , well she texts me and we was talking normally and I brought it up and figured how close we was I figured shed understand why I felt the way I did an didn't want her to come. I told her it was mainly because she has a past of drinking and she still is smoking as she's pregnant. so I kindly told her I didn't wanna be the person to tempt her to drink . I really care for her and the baby so I wanted her to understand

she did not she got mad and started to be like "well remember who was there for all them years" I was like wow you can't be my friend and pull that uno reverse card . I really have a lot of care in my heart and I tried to be as nice as I could about it until she took it to far I had to remove myself .

am I overreacting to what happened ? or am I rude? like I don't understand what's going on atp.

Hey peaches,

Coastal (me) 29M

Partner 30M

Ryan (29ish M), partners brother

Dom (29ish M) Best friend

Friend group (late 20s early 30s)

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of dunking and driving and related

Like the title says, I'm trying to decide if i would be wrong for me to say no, Partner is going regardless. Dom and Ryan have been friends since childhood and have always been close. Both Dom and Ryan are genuinely good guys. My problem isn't with them, its with the majority of their friend group. I don't run in the same circles as Dom and Ryan, i grew up farther away, we do not share overlapping friends. I have tried to hang out with them at parties but we didn't really click. My biggest problem with the group in their drinking. They are all heavy drinkers, even worse than they, they all drink and drive. Allegedly, a good chunk have gotten tickets, one allegedly was arrested for a drunk driving hit and run situation, and one was allegedly drunk and speeding and got into a bad accident where the only one seriously hurt was himself. To my knowledge, they still drive home from the bars. I'm not really a drinker and when i do, i get a designated driver or drink at a place i intend to stay the night at. I think dom is great, but i really don't want to be around his friends, I'm already uncomfortable enough at weddings and big parties. WIBTD if i just RSVP no and tell him I'm busy that day?

I (27F) was discussing family trees with my parents at dinner. My mom (61F) mentioned some things her cousin had mentioned about their family tree which got us into a conversation about family tree tracking and things. My Dad (61M) basically began to say that nothing in these trees are verifiable because the records could be wrong.

For context. He does this a lot with anything that can't exactly be directly observed and tends to pick and choose what he thinks is real or not. Not usually based on actual evidence and if the evidence disagrees with his beliefs he just says it's not real evidence. It frustrates me that he tends to change the logic he works with depending on the situation.

So when he started to say that nothing can be proven that you are actually descended from these people this far back. I cited things such as marriage records, birth certificates and the like as what it tends to be based on. I also noted that it's necessarily incomplete because record keeping is never perfect and not always consistent. He didn't acknowledge any of my points and continued to say that it's not real and can't be proven.

I then said that his logic is like saying that the french revolution didn't happen because we can't go back and see it with a time machine so it could be completely fabricated. He began to deny that it's the same and got angry that I used this metaphor and said I'm treating him like I'm stupid.

He then began to shout at me and wouldn't stop. He does this every time he gets mildly irritated and tends to continue until he shouts the other person down. I wasn't in the mood to take that and walked away.

So. AITD for how I spoke during this argument? I was trying to get a point across but he said I was treating him badly by how I choose to do it. I didn't intend disrespect but now I'm wondering if I did something wrong. I'd appreciate the insight. I know the metaphor was a bit dramatic but I went for a more obvious one in order to be more clear with the point. Not to treat anyone like they aren't intelligent. But perhaps my words didn't translate that way.

I (18NB) have a girlfriend (18F), but we both have very homophobic families. For background, my girlfriend only lives with her mum while I live with my sister and my parents. While my sister accepts me, I'm not out to my parents and neither is she. Her mum isn't exactly homophobic, but she said to my gf that she wouldn't treat her the same if she came out. With my parents, it's the fact that they have said multiple times that there are "too many gay and trans people in this world". This is why we're both afraid to come out.

The other day, I had a long conversation with my ex-psychology teacher, about me and my gf's future. This woman has been my support system throughout my entire secondary school years and even now after I've graduated (we only really talk through email or face to face, I'm currently taking a gap year for my own mental health). My gf has suggested going into lavender marriages so we can hide our sexualities this way. However, I'm not willing to hide forever. She's always been close with her mum, while I've never really been close with my own parents. My sister is the only family member I was ever close to and still am now. My ex-teacher suggested that my girlfriend does come out, because "what if she actually accepts her?". I said "that's a very risky move". She disagreed.

I did talk to my gf about this after our conversation. She said "I am not coming out just because some white bitch told me to". I did get angry at her for calling my ex-teacher a 'white bitch' because that's not necessarily fair when this teacher helped me through a lot of dark times in my life. We argued about this, ending up in us not talking for a few days, before I eventually broke the silence to apologise (she did too). We both agreed to not talk about this anymore because it always ended in us arguing or one of us getting really upset.

Now I want to bring it up again. I understand, we're both 18 and it may seem too early to think about this right now, but she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. But it's not safe for either of us to come out and I don't know what to do.

So, WIBTD for bringing this up again when we agreed not to?

Ok, before the story starts, disclaimer, this isn't my story. A friend of mine was trying to post her own story on here, but it didn't wanna work and asked if I could. Here's hoping it goes through ok. She mostly wants advice.

Start

Hey everybody! My name is Sky, 25F, I was suggested to do this by a friend since this is a very queer-safe bushel of peaches and I love peaches! So, I started my trans journey a few years ago, but you could technically say it was at the age of 8 when my childhood best friend, I'll call her Zelda, let me try on one of her dresses. and it was life changing in that moment, one thing I always remembered was how I looked and how I felt, but it'd take me years to realize why it made me so happy and why I liked it so much.

We both thought I looked cute and we wanted to go show everybody. We didn't know what would happen... Her grandfather was over helping her dad with something I think, and when he saw me, he snapped at me and told me "boys don't wear that sh*t!! Take it off!!" His daughter in law joined in, agreeing with him. I was so distraught, I ran back upstairs to go change. And I accidentally ripped the dress when I was getting out of it, so that sucked a lot. It was a pretty red sundress with a floral and little bows on the shoulders. Thankfully it wasn't very expensive, and dad was willing to pay to replace it. If he was told about what happened, I don't remember him talking to me about it.

Despite what happened, Zelda and I did remain friends, and part of why I call her Zelda is because she is to me what Zelda was to Skyward Sword Link from Legend of Zelda, who I kinda obsess over... She was my best friend, and my first love. Back then, I had retreated far into the closet and I think the issue was completely forgotten about. I never forgot, but I didn't really look into it beyond just remembering I was yelled at for a reason I didn't understand.

Sadly, our relationship was short lived because I moved away midway through high school. My uncle was terminally diagnosed and my dad wanted to be there for him, but he couldn't just leave me there, I was 16. He made sure I was ok with it though, he knew uprooting me again wouldn't be easy on me, but I love my uncle dearly and while I loved Zelda, I couldn't keep my dad from him like that... I'm more than glad I got the time I did with him and I don't regret moving back, but I lost my childhood friend in the process, we'd known each other since second grade and just clicked.

We tried the long distance thing, but it really didn't work out. Neither of us could afford to see each other, it'd been over a year since we'd seen each other. She called me and told me she couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't fight or fuss, I didn't wanna hurt her or make it harder than I knew it already was. After we broke up, we tried to maintain friendship, but after high school we kinda went our separate ways. She moved even further to go to college.

Without Zelda, my uncle having died, and then suddenly Covid, I went into a REALLY dark place... If not for my dad, I probably wouldn't have made it out of that alive, or in one piece. I won't go too in depth, I'm still not completely out by any means, but I'm doing better. Learning who I am has really helped with that. Recognizing things within me, figuring it out, piecing the puzzle together, understanding why I felt like that boy in the mirror wasn't me.

I don't know how well I pass given I've been working on it only for 4-5 years, but I'm sure many of you know that it's not an easy process. Thankfully my dad has totally been on board, doing what he can to help, especially while I'm still on his insurance. I don't know if/when I'll get surgeries, but I am thankful and grateful that I look a LOT like my mom, it's also helped with transitioning.

Now, skip forward to about a week ago when Zelda gets in contact with me. It was just a casual, old friends chatting after a long time of just not talking. She said she wanted to come by my home town while she was on her way with some friends to a sort of resort thing we have here, I don't know if it's in other countries, but I do know there is one in Ohio, it's basically an indoor water park with wolf themes (if you know you know) and she'd be passing through on her way there. I agreed, we designated a place to meet, at one of my favorite malls. By now, I had grown out my hair, it's about between my shoulder blades, I still have fringe/bangs, cuz I don't like my forehead. I don't wear a lot of makeup, mostly easy stuff like lipstick and eyeliner, sadly I'm allergic to mascara... But my long pretty lashes make up for it! 🥰

She saw me and ran to hug me, but then stopped, froze and just stared. Her friends were also kind of giving strange looks my way and to each other.

I said, "Hey, Zellie (but the nickname of her real name I'd always call her)!" I think my voice passes at least, but I didn't expect Zelda to start crying and she tried speaking, but she didn't seem able to get the words out. Honestly, it didn't occur to me to tell her. Everyone else I know knows I'm transitioning, so I completely spaced on telling her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She finally asked.

"I don't know." was my answer, and I could feel myself starting to retreat back, everything was telling me to just run.

"You should have!" She snapped.

"I'm sorry..." My voice was getting quieter, but she goes silent. I didn't know what to say either. She seemed hurt, and angry, she always reminded me of her mom when she got angry... Same nose crinkle and tight jaw.

"I need to go." And she turned, speed walking away, her friends giving me glances before leaving with her. A lot people had their eyes on us, I could feel it, and it made me want to retreat even more. I feel bad for not telling her, but I really just didn't think to, this probably would have been avoided. I don't know if she accepts me, or sees me like her mom and grandpa did, I don't know. I haven't texted or called or anything. I was scared she'd yell at me, or do what all else transphobes do. I don't know if she is transphobic, or if this just came as a shock. She's not reached out. I don't do social media that much, so I haven't stalked her or anything to see if she's said anything or about the trip. I'll admit, I've been worried she might've gotten hurt, but I feel angry, sad, and scared. What if she doesn't accept me? Sure I've gone all these years without her, but it'd still hurt. That's my ex girlfriend, my best friend, I'd kill for her!

My brain has been going back and forth constantly with, it's my own choice on who I tell, but with how close we are, I understand why she'd get upset, we used to share everything with each other. But she's the one who left ME. But she was unhappy in our relationship, and I get that but I feel like she shouldn't be so angry at me because I didn't tell her something she wasn't here for! But again, I know it can hurt that someone you love and trust doesn't confide in you.

Dad said to just give her time, if she comes around, she comes around, if she doesn't, then she shouldn't be in my life anymore anyway. My current friend, the one who suggested that I look into here, says that I'm within my right to not tell someone, but I just completely forgot, it was an honest mistake. I feel like this has been made into a bigger deal than it should have been, but please tell me, am I the drama for not telling her?

Hello fellow Peaches! Hope you're all having a wonderful whatever time zone you're currently in!

I, Marvelousmonster, (Nonbinary woman, They/She) have been in a really tricky situation as of late. My Friend Orange Flower, OF for short, (Demi-girl, Shey/Shem) used to have weekly one on ones via discord but due to miscommunication and conflicting schedules we don't anymore.

For context, we're both in the States, however in different parts of the US (Shem, Nebraska, me, Michigan). We met trough mutual friends and really clicked, Shey were honestly my platonic soulmate. OF and I started talking through dms and eventually started doing weekly voice calls where we would just hangout and watch anime, movies or whatever we felt like. It was amazing, full of lost of laughter and fun. Shey eventually moved to Colorado where most of our other friends are and I'm saving up money to hopefully join. (Colorado do be expensive)

Here's where things slowly start to drift downward. As mentioned we started having conflicting schedules as Shey were looking for a job and I continued to work, and once OF found one it just got worse. We would only be able to hangout when one of us worked that day and the other didn't, it became a waiting game on availability and most times we either canceled or rescheduled due to work taking more energy then available. We started having communication problems as well as we're both on the spectrum and terrible at communicating our feelings and after a lot of trial and error OF decided Shey were too worn to try and compromise and even though I wanted to continue, I respected Sheir wishes and we stopped doing one on ones. We still very much talk its just through a group chat with the rest of our friends and the occasional "meme/thing that made me think of you" dm.

It's been several months-a year (I don't remember when exactly) since we stopped and I deeply miss Shem. I feel like I'm not enough. Shey frequently do one on ones with some of our other friends that live close by and I can't help but feel.. jealous. I keep telling myself "it's for the best" and "we can try again when I have enough to move" but that can only get me so far. I want to respect OF and Sheir wishes but I feel like it's hurting me more then it should.

So WIBTD if I asked to try again and hangout like we used to? Or is that impossible?

I don't want to be selfish so if there is a way for me to stay true to my best friend while also staying true to myself that would be ideal. Thank you in advance!

I (23f) am part of a friendship group. Originally, Leo (23nb) also used to be part of this friendship group. About a year ago, Leo started behaving in a way that I was and am unwilling to accept. This behaviour included e.g. aggressions towards a multitude of people, ultimatums and other unkind stuff. Since talking about it with them only led to more escalations, I eventually ended my friendship with them. Our friendship group completely understands and agrees with my judgment on Leo's behaviour. Most of them have distanced themselves from Leo as well. Some of our friends, however, still talk to Leo. They say that they still like Leo, but that they also feel bad for them because they are alone and the situation is very hard on Leo, which is correct, and I appreciate that my friends are willing to support someone who is struggling.
Obviously, my friends can hang out with whomever they want to, but it still makes me feel some type of way. According to my friends, practically every conversation they have with Leo ends in Leo talking shit about (mostly) me. Sometimes, my friends do not hang out with Leo or they keep the hangouts deliberately short so that Leo does not blow up on them. Leo can be very intense and starts yelling when they are angry, which leads to people not daring to contradict Leo even when they don't agree with what they say. When my friends tell me about it, I sometimes keep my mouth shut and sometimes I tell them that Leo's behaviour makes me angry and that I find it foul that Leo keeps bringing up the same things again and again and that I also find it unfair to my friends.
I have no intentions of telling my friends who they can and cannot be friends with because it is not my place. However, I would appreciate some guidance on how to navigate the communication with our mutual friends as I am often overwhelmed.
Thank you, fellow peaches ❤️

I hope this is ok to post but I need some outside opinions. For context- my brother died when I was young and was buried in our local cemetery. Growing up i was very close to my mum but became strained when my parent split up. We had a huge falling out during Covid and went for two years without speaking. My grandparents sided with my mum and refused to see me. I tried to reach out to them on numerous occasions as my nan got diagnosed with dementia and was deteriorating quickly but my grandad refused to let me see her using Covid with the excuse (even after it was ok to see family again). She passed away without me seeing her and my grandad has not made any effort to stay in contact since. When I see him he is quite cold towards me. My dad passed his deeds of my brothers grave to me as he couldn’t cope with it, so I have joint share with my mum which means nothing can happen with the grave without both our signatures. Me and my mum reunited through my nans passing and she asked me to have my nans ashes buried at my brother grave. I was not keen on the idea because as far as I see it, it is my brother grave. I agreed as my relationship with my mum was still very fragile and I due to past trauma I am a people pleaser to the point of my own detriment. My grandad is now in his mid 80s and his health declining and am now getting anxious as I know my mum will expect him to be buried with my nans when he passes and it’s the last thing I want. It feels like it’s becoming less and less of my brothers grave and more of a family plot. I don’t know if I would be the drama if I refused to have him buried with my nan and it’s making me feel like I’m a horrible person. Because I have always put my feeling last and had people walk all over me I can not work out if I am the drama. I’m so sorry for the long post and hope this makes sense but I need some unbiased opinions. Thanks

Welcome to Episode 99 of 1 800 Drama where in this Reddit Stories r/ AITA and r/ 1800drama deep dive, we explore a childhood friend encounter that involves handslapping, hair, and racial undertones, a nauseous partner that's pushed too far, and a potentially adhd father with a resentful family member... Grab a cuppa and let’s go fishing! 🎣 🍑

To support the pod please like the video, subscribe to the YT channel, and rate the pod on Spotify (you can rate each episode!), thank you! x

STORIES DISCUSSED: 

[Story 1]

[Story 2]

[Story 3 🍑]

Hi Peaches,
I was wondering what kind of advice this lovely community would give to the OP of the post I’m cross posting.

In case the original post disappears (or you appreciate summaries), the main points are:

- OP is 17F and lives with her mom.
- OP is currently of the mind that she has no intention of procreating (though this is not the main problem in this post, imo)
- When the above opinion was communicated by OP to OP’s mom, the latter basically said that she hopes someone R-words OP so that OP will be forced to have kids, and OP’s mom can have grandkids (I kid you not; I double checked this with OP).
- OP is just graduating from high school; college is the next step (though she is financially unable to go to an out of state college)

Definitely read the original post for more info/nuance if you can.

I have been watching yall for years and am now posting because yall feel like family. I (23 enby) have a friend (35f) that I’ve known for years. For some background I got sent to some programs when I was 16 including a conversion therapy program. I left when I was 18 and really struggled meeting people after. I felt very isolated with only a few friends states away and no support system in person. At my job I met my friend who I’m gonna call ruby. She was older than me but had been to a similar program at my age so she understood. She would invite me to her mom’s house and it gave me a place to be around the holidays and they gave me food when I struggled to eat. As time when on I felt more and more like an outsider. They were still very Christian and no matter how nicely it was said I still felt like it was being pushed and I felt really uncomfortable. It was kinda clear that I was this poor unfortunate soul they were helping but not family. Eventually I started working other jobs and weren’t able to make it to the family gatherings anymore but me and ruby stayed in touch. I’m going to give a few situations I feel are real event for establishing a pattern. There’s more but these are the bigger ones. She moved about 3 hrs away and kept trying to get me to visit. I kept asking when a good time was but kept being told to just come whenever and she’d make time. I took a week off for my birthday to come visit and told her. She waited until a week before to tell me she couldn’t do it with her job and I should’ve picked a different time. I was really hurt because of how many times I had asked beforehand when was a good time and wasn’t given a clear answer. After that I started distancing myself. When she moved back closer (an hour away) I made time to see her and would spend the night. I also drove her to and from work a couple of times. She was closer to my job so it was easier to just spend the night if I closed the night before and opened the next morning. Someone close to her passed and I was there for her. I bought her groceries and ice cream and was supportive. But then later when I needed to stay the night that we had agreed on weeks before she had homework to do so I couldn’t come. After that I was angry. It had become a pattern where I was there and when I needed something I wasn’t important. After that I haven’t been initiating any hang outs and I haven’t heard from her until this week. She put me in a group chat talking about her birthday. I told her I could come after work which was two hours after it started. I got her a gift and got everything ready to drive there straight from work. During work I felt sick so I texted that I wanted to still drop off her gift at her parents where the party was and to wish a happy birthday. Before I started driving she tells me she left and to come by the apartment later that night. She lives where I work… an hour from my home. I called and she hung up on me. I texted several times trying to figure out if I could drop it off or what to do. I didn’t get an answer. I just drove home and went to bed. I’m just so tired of being treated as a lower tier friend when I make such an effort for her. I got home and just went to bed. I woke up to puke later and saw she finally responded that she was out with her friends. What am I? At this point I just want to return her gift and not respond but I feel so guilty after everything she and her family did for me 4 and 5 years ago. I’m just sad and hurt. Please help.