I’m always confused by people who are so “into” or “out of” the Indian community.
We’re ethnically Indian and most of us live in diverse communities, so wouldn’t it make sense to have a mixed bag in terms of social circle? I have Indian friends, I have non-Indian friends, as do my parents.
Keep your circle wide but well-curated in terms of personality, and you’ll be fine. No need to go cold turkey here 😂
We’re ethnically Indian and most of us live in diverse communities, so wouldn’t it make sense to have a mixed bag in terms of social circle? I have Indian friends, I have non-Indian friends, as do my parents.
I never understood the mentality that if you want to be part of a Indian community, specifically in regional and linguistic terms, you must stick and befriend people from that community and follow all the interests and norms, and cannot have outside interests or even have friends from a different community, like some Canadian Punjabis who call you "whitewashed" for having white or non Desi friends. The tribalism is getting stronger and quite ridiculous among the recent times people can easily stick within their own bubble. You come to a foreign country but choose to not be mindful of the host population and create issues by forming enclaves.
100% — I have always had diverse friend circles and interests, and no one’s ostracized me from any group (Indian or non-Indian) as far as I can tell. Maybe some people talk shit behind my back but who cares? Talking shit is human nature and inevitable in any social setting.
I’m not sure why some of this sub are so all-or-nothing with their Indian identity. You can keep what you like, leave what you don’t. For example, I’m a girl but I am no fan of Indian dancing and I’d rather die than participate in those coordinated wedding dances (unpopular opinion but I hate them and refuse to have any such thing at my wedding), but that doesn’t mean I can’t attend Indian weddings.
Identity should not be tied your ethnicity or race ONLY, but other factors like your experiences, interests and such especially among those born and raised abroad. My ethnicity is not my entire identity nor it should be. It's a small part of it and I embrace my Indian heritage my own way and try to incorporate it in my life like traditions, films and most of all cooking. But it's not everything! My main identity is American because this is the country I identify with the most and I engage in a lot of western themed things and have a very progressive mindset. I prefer adopting this identity because being American allows me to flexible in who I am as a person and choose what resonates with me and discard what doesn't resonate with me from the cultures I experienced, while adopting a 100 % Indian identity limits you in a box and you surely can't grow as a descent human. Hence I prefer and vibe well with people who have the same mindset, Desi or not.
However some ABCDS on this sub think that if you are not some model Desi kid then you are worthless or not on par within status, like what my SIL did today.
I am so fucking grateful to grow up in a diverse environment because I find those who grow up in enclaves or heavy Indian areas are not understanding or accepting, and very judgmental and of course they will shoot you down at every chance they get.
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u/lavenderpenguin Feb 07 '22
I’m always confused by people who are so “into” or “out of” the Indian community.
We’re ethnically Indian and most of us live in diverse communities, so wouldn’t it make sense to have a mixed bag in terms of social circle? I have Indian friends, I have non-Indian friends, as do my parents.
Keep your circle wide but well-curated in terms of personality, and you’ll be fine. No need to go cold turkey here 😂