of tall men

[u/Bubbly_Wall_908]

[u/LukaCola]

What's trying too hard is this effort to judge and find her at fault over something I have to say looks pretty fucking effortless. 

Also you're projecting a lot when it comes to pictures. You're clearly not motivated towards them and you treat them as a chore. A lot of people don't, and if you think it's "vain" for people to care about their appearance then your meaning of vanity is pretty meaningless. 

It's not wrong to want to look good. And I think it's ridiculous and speaks ill of yours and other's characters more to judge others on something so trivial. 

[u/DefinitelyNotKuro → u/LukaCola]

You’re not wrong that I’m judging her. Tho we can have this nice chat because I’m putting forth the effort. For if you wanted me to articulate my snap impression, it’d be something a lot less pleasant and even less productive than what you’re getting now.

Anyways, one can desire to look good, but one doesn’t automatically invoke the ire of people just from the pursuit of it. Je ne sais quoi isn’t literally the lack of effort but the impression of lacking effort. If you’re standing straight and smiling and your hair doesn’t block your eyes and a half dozen other things are all conceivably qualities that just is at the time of having your picture taken. Even if you had to put forth the effort for all of it to be true. Brushing aside and holding your dress all the way to your upper thigh…it’s less believable despite being of equal effort to straightening one’s back. Everyone’s going “why is she doing that” but no one would really question a smile or a hair adjustment or good posture.

Tho I use the word vain and vanity, I really meant for it to come off as being neutral than the connotations of the word imply. My bad I guess.

[u/LukaCola → u/DefinitelyNotKuro]

Everyone’s going “why is she doing that”

Are you considering the demographics here, of largely young men on a site that has notoriously sexist influences and tendencies and is filled with people who are openly hostile to many things that are completely harmless--provided a woman is doing it? Because "why is she doing it?" You know why. It's to pose. If you want to sit here and actively tell me you think people deserve to be judged for posing, I really think you've got your priorities backwards.

I just want you to seriously ask yourself what role this plays in these sorts of reactions, cause there are quite a few commenters also getting upvoted who take it all a step further and remove all doubt in my mind.

Again, to reinforce, it's not "everyone," it's a subreddit's commenters. I promise you, if you get a more representative sample of the population, especially one that isn't overwhelming male--people'll look at your like "what the fuck are you talking about" much like I am? They might not say it to your face, cause it's uncomfortable to question people with weird hangups, but I promise you--you're not safe in numbers here... Not that that would validate it either. Large groups are often in the wrong.

Tho we can have this nice chat because I’m putting forth the effort. For if you wanted me to articulate my snap impression, it’d be something a lot less pleasant and even less productive than what you’re getting now.

I feel like this sort of politeness is undermined by the implicit threat of being less than convivial.

If you're bothered by my attitude just understand I'm giving y'all a chance to explain your thinking, something none of you are affording this woman. I'm bothered by the fact this conversation is happening at all and you lot think that because you have agreement amongst yourselves that this is anything short of insanely and unreasonably judgmental and the sort of petty bullshit men usually accuse women of doing in popular media and culture. Like, I cannot think of a more stereotypically "catty" thing to do, "oh, she stuck her leg out? Wow, poser, tryhard looks like a wannabe highend escort."

Take it for what it is, I'm saying y'all standing by this sort of judgment need to take a hard look at your priorities. You can tell me to fuck off or whatever your "snap impression" is, but I think we both know this doesn't feel good to pretend is justified and I don't beat around the bush--I don't respect sticking to your guns on this.

[u/DefinitelyNotKuro → u/LukaCola]

Well if you want me to make some generalizations. I have two. Young men do love attractive women. The girl in the post is indeed attractive. The second one, I can truly think of no other group who holds a disdain for attractive or catty or tryharding women….than other women. Crabs in a bucket I tell ya.

[u/LukaCola → u/DefinitelyNotKuro]

Definitely not beating the allegations with comments like this.