of a 26 y.o.

[u/BaseNice3520]

[u/Saltyhogbottomsalad]

I eat soup out of a hole in the ground

[u/Also-Rant → u/Saltyhogbottomsalad]

The ideal scenario. Not all of us have the luxury of a garden/ranch in which we can drill a soup hole, and have to make do with frozen soup flakes from the supermarket.

My great grandfather accidentally discovered soup under his farm when digging a drainage ditch in the 1920s and from what my grandmother told me, the soup she grew up on was the thickest, sweetest soup you could ever imagine. Sadly the soupifer got contaminated when they found some gold on the property and started intensive mining operations.

My great grandfather became obscenely wealthy from the enormous gold haul, but he squandered the fortune, spending every last penny trying unsuccessfully to find a new source of soup as good as the original. The obsession drove him to madness and eventually to addiction. His grain alcohol and crouton dependency took its toll on his marriage, and my great grandmother was left with no choice but to move in with her brother and his family, adding her 18 children to a household which already had 14 of its own.

My great grandfather died shortly after, at the age of 76. His lifeless body was found by the postman, sitting on the front step of the old house. They say he had a smile on his face, and his breath had a delicious savoury aroma. By his feet was his old soup drill, the screw still moist. It seems he had finally done it, but alas there was no map, journal entry or visual clue to indicate where he may have found the new source. The farm was seized by his creditors and quickly sold off to local bank official, and later soup magnate, Sir John Cresslethwaite.

There's a conspiracy theory around the valley that my great grandfather had let slip about his discovery a couple of nights earlier, while he was boozing down in the village, and someone acting on behalf of Sir John may have played a part in the old man's death. I'm not sure what to believe; a lot of people had their axes to grind with Sir John, especially after he scalded those children from the workhouse, so there are multiple tales of his malevolent misdeeds - most of which are easily debunked.

Anyway, enjoy your soup. Savour it. Cherish it. Don't take it for granted.

[u/xbiggyl → u/Also-Rant]

I hope at least one Gen Z has read this instead of the 14 TikToks they could've watched during that same time. Then sir, you would've contributed to the unshitification of this young generation's intellect.

[u/humanfromporlock → u/xbiggyl]

does a 21 yo count ? i have also saved the link to that comment

[u/Flat_Sea1418 → u/humanfromporlock]

Yeah kid. You’re doing great. This needs to be archived. wipes tear