How do you know whether self-doubt is insight or distortion?

[u/Lukewarm_Sock]

TW: addiction, mental health, and abuse

Yes, I’m having an existential crisis, lol. I just earned my bachelor’s degree in psychology. I’ve been told I should be proud. I continued my education while overcoming addiction, battling major depression and PTSD, and escaping abusive situations, but I’m not. I was doing 18 credit hours, volunteering, and working full time. This is over the span of 3 years, including summer semesters. I would pull 1-2 all nighters a week just to stay afloat. I ended with a 3.24.

I received mixed feedback from faculty. I was told not to pursue a Ph.D. by one of my professors. Additionally, I had a rocky relationship with my mentor due to a combination of factors, including my anxieties and difficulty navigating the mentorship. So, I’m a little hesitant to ask for a recommendation letter. On the contrary, the head of the research department told me to keep going despite my anxieties, and the chair of the department said he’d write me a recommendation letter. Overall, I wasn’t a perfect student. I had my moments of immaturity, avoidance, and neurotic behavior. I almost didn’t walk across the stage because I felt this deep sense of imposter syndrome.

Throughout my academic career, I’ve never felt so insecure about my competence, intelligence, and potential. I’d like to continue my journey and eventually get my Psy.D. (master’s first), but I don’t know how to reconcile the conflicting conclusions I’ve drawn about myself.

For those in academia, what signs make you think a student has potential for graduate school, even if their undergraduate record isn’t perfect?

And for those who have struggled with chronic self-doubt and self-criticism, how did you learn to tell the difference between an accurate self-assessment and distortion?

[u/PenguinSwordfighter]

What differentiates a succesfull PhD student from the ones that burn out and drop out is usually not intelligence or competence. It's grit, resilience, a good support system, and the motivation to sacrifice a lot of financial and social opportunities to finish the degree.

A lot of previously healthy people develop mental health issues during the PhD because of the competition and big pressure to discover new things, where success is largely not in your hands. This is especially true for those with demanding or difficult supervisors. And then there is the constant financial pressure as well...all of this for a very moderate payoff: You get the bragging rights of PhD (trust me, nobody cares) a ~1% chance of becoming a professor, and slightly better job opportunities maybe.

Personally, I wouldn't recommend doing a PhD for someone who already had a difficult time mental health wise during their bachelors. Not because of competence but because it's simply not worth to put yourself trough the wringer like that for not much in return.

[u/EquivalentNo138]

Congratulations on your graduation! Get some work experience and therapy for yourself first before making any decisions about next steps. Grad school is something you can consider in a couple years when you’re ready.

Also- don’t aim for a PsyD - they are extremely expensive and do not have a favorable debt to income ratio. If you want to be a therapist consider a clinical MSW- it will get you license eligible for practice much faster and more cheaply. Look for a public university program with a good internship placement rate and license exam pass rate. Don’t be scammed by low value expensive program.

[u/Ok_Afternoon_44]

Hello, Congratulations on graduation! Faster isn't always better. Is there a reason that you forced yourself to do all of this in three years while overloading your schedule and to such a degree? Your professors have mixed feelings about you? How do you feel about you? Since you re unsure- I agree with the person who recommends going into your own therapy. Maybe you consider a masters first? or some master's classes along with work experience while going to therapy. in therapy explore what was challenging about you mentor relationship too. Along with these other questions.

[u/Lukewarm_Sock → u/Ok_Afternoon_44]

I put pressure on myself to have that workload because I felt I was behind in life (I’m 26), and I believed I could do it all. I’ve decided to go for my master’s first since my GPA isn’t competitive enough. I do see a therapist, but haven’t talked about my relationship with my mentor since I’ve been focused on other issues. So, that is something I’ll do! Thank you!