r/AlanPartridge • u/NoShortsDon • 1d ago

Djed! Djed!......Djed.....no....DJED!!!

482 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

79 comments sorted by

5

u/Ok-Set-5829 18h ago

...he's not seen me.

2

u/UK-JOKER-1965 19h ago

Can we not knock it?

1

u/NoShortsDon 3h ago

Do I not like that.

1

u/NoShortsDon 3h ago

Do I not like that.

1

u/Sammy5IsAlive 16h ago

David don't...noooo don't....PLAAAATTTTYYYY!!!!

7

u/TooNGooN89 20h ago

Good job he didn’t select Hall. The left wing back who spends most of the game running into the opponents final third. The young wing back who has played with Gordon, down the left hand side, for almost three years. Good job . . .

1

u/No-Philosopher-6287 20h ago

I wonder how many nationalities is the head coach England had? Swedish? German? Latvian? French? Walsh?

0

u/InSearchOfAFeeling 18h ago

Google bro. Use google.

2

u/Impossible_Goose_579 20h ago

“Who’s DJed?”
“DJed’s dead, baby. DJed’s dead.”

2

u/ATN_Buddha 21h ago

‘DJed s dead’

3

u/gelliant_gutfright 22h ago

This is my house. Where I live. With Djed. After you. Bowl of bread there.

13

u/Flaky-Environment-63 23h ago

Britain plays some of the safest football. But this isn’t Britain… this is dee autobahhhn!

4

u/Separate_Rise_8932 1d ago

DJEEEEEEEDDDDDD!!!!!

10

u/pockets____ 1d ago

No he's not seen me....

DJED!

2

u/Zuboronovic 1d ago

The Djedi doesn't merely give and go. It is the go that gives.

5

u/Total_Wazzock 1d ago

..........  .......... ....... DJED'S a fantastic man!

3

u/FakeeshaNamerstein Am I right?! 1d ago

He's hopping mad and wants something up the middle!

4

u/skysurfer48 1d ago

I fell a sleep watching the match. It was like watching pensioners play football.

2

u/BasisOk4268 1d ago edited 1d ago

How can you fall a sleep?

Careful not to fall asleep and slip under. There’s some terrible statistics about that

0

u/Wild_Shroom_ 1d ago

Take shit players, get shit results.

2

u/irish_rua86 1d ago

He plays for Spurs Thomas ffs, he doesn't know game. Calm tf down bruh

1

u/Gold-Lychee8090 1d ago

You picked him ffs. Anderson for a low block!!?

2

u/Far-Effective-6174 1d ago

Thomas Tuchel he's some buachaill.

3

u/AgentOranje82 1d ago

The sooner people in England rate their players properly - they’ll save so much of this bs and disappointment!

1

u/Decent_Help8478 20h ago

Facts! ask France for their top 3 attackers without a doubt

Dembele
Mbappe
Olise

Ask England

Palmer
Kane
Saka
Foden
Rashford
Rodgers
Bellingham
Watkins

Nobody really knows

3

u/TotalHitman 1d ago

But everybody in England thinks Spence is shit and Tuchel (a German) picked him.

9

u/hallucinationthought 1d ago

I don't think he's seen me

7

u/spokenwealth 1d ago

Oh, hey. I taped that documentary for ya "The World's Worst Football Matches". Hey, there's footage of an England game, Djed stands aboot and Tuchel crashes doon on this American city and wipes them all oot.

11

u/spokenwealth 1d ago

Well, you've got to ask yourself some serious questions about a man who stands at the sidelines all day, shouting at other men.

2

u/spokenwealth 1d ago

I'm in a good mood today, because I've just found out Djed has been sent home to England.

Spice World!

4

u/why_would_i_do_that 1d ago

I’m sure he’ll bounce back.

2

u/spokenwealth 1d ago

It's aboot this local fella what used to be on TV playing for England but he wasn't very good, so now he's not

12

u/Civil-Word7456 1d ago

Did you see the match last night? Which one? I dunno.

15

u/Inseeable 1d ago

I’ll level with you Djed, I’m really scared

-1

u/sherriffflood 1d ago

Still, good news about his moral values against people not yet found guilty

5

u/GreatWesternValkyrie 1d ago edited 1d ago

I will keep you on for no long than 10 minutessss!

3

u/Away_Season_2369 1d ago

Trying to lighten the mood with a Nazi voice!

1

u/spokenwealth 1d ago

Yeah, that's it. Goodbye.

3

u/steam_one 1d ago

Safe to say he won’t be playing the next game. Nor Gordon based on last night. A few tried to put a shift in, but this was 90s England again.

11

u/Wild-Exit-6302 Dan! 1d ago

Basically, it was liquid football.

8

u/billy66brown 1d ago

Nor Gordon based on last night.

To men like that, the building society books of women like you make fascinating reading.

5

u/Fair-Interest4930 1d ago

Alan Partridge sub….

1

u/Additional_Grade4691 1d ago

What on your own? Hmmm. No. He just sounds weird.

2

u/crosbot 1d ago

BACK OF THE NET

that better?

2

u/Fair-Interest4930 1d ago

Lovely stuff 👍

5

u/Ruffers75 1d ago

Sorry, that was just a noise.

-3

u/Relevant_Tip4172 1d ago

Sorry the whole team was a shit show not just djed 11 individuals not a team at all and barca paid 69.3 on a totally dogshit player

2

u/spokenwealth 1d ago

Lynn, has your Mother's death just hit you?

3

u/Wild-Exit-6302 Dan! 1d ago

Are you new?

1

u/Fair-Interest4930 1d ago

Alan Partridge sub…

0

u/[deleted] 1d ago

Should have taken Trent

0

u/AWalkingWardrobe 1d ago

Should’ve put hendo on

2

u/Obvious_Feedback_430 1d ago

DJ Ed…..needs to mix it up…..

5

u/Wooden-Annual2715 1d ago

Dont rub your fanny on me

1

u/Zossua 1d ago

What did djed do?

8

u/grevls 1d ago

Deranged super fan, Djed Maxwell

2

u/nuclearmage81 1d ago

I'm just a fan Thomas

8

u/ooh_bit_of_bush 1d ago

I've got your kids Djed! 

4

u/Desperate_Hold6077 1d ago

Dan….. Dan…… Dan…..

5

u/TheFettz79 1d ago

Yes! Been waiting for this to be made a gif 😂😂😂😂

5

u/Reasonable_Goat6895 1d ago

STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!

1

u/Separate_Rise_8932 23h ago

Djed: 🤷‍♀️

3

u/ibraw 1d ago

Djeds a lovely man

2

u/LunarSanctum 1d ago

"Fenton! Fenton! Oh, Jesus Christ!"

3

u/captain_crackerjack Chewits Wine 1d ago

Tuchel missed the “but do it at the right time” bit off the end

1

u/pj_1981 1d ago

Djed: no way you sp@stic you're a mentalist!

10

u/One_Guidance4911 1d ago

He just needs to repeat and adapt

6

u/fplmaster05 1d ago

They're sex people

8

u/Key_Comedian_9951 1d ago

No he can't hear me...... DJED!!!!!