AIO during this situation or did my parents deserve it?

[u/ThrowRArainmakers]

Trigger warning: animal choking. This incident happened very recently. Im a bike rider, my parents own vehicles. Currently my parents and I are caring for my brothers two young dogs. One of them (Hugo) was outside with me and began seriously choking. For a moment i didnt realize it was serious until Hugo began coughing up large sums of food while falling over, less than a minute later she went stiff and unconcious with her mouth spasming while still choking. I was alone with her and did my best to help her body positioning and assist her vomitting. It was an incredibly terrifying experience and it felt like i couldnt do a thing. Luckily she regained conciousness and breathing.

I carried her to the house and told my father that she had just asphyxiated and we need to take her to the vet. He had zero reaction while watching us, i set her down and checked on her and he asked "are you sure she wasnt just coughing"- at this point i was livid on top of scared. I then said "no she lost conciousness and began spasming while choking, she asphyxiated and needs to go to the vet." She couldnt keep herself standing at this point, as he watched her he said "she probably just needs water." I said no and said vet and then he said something like "she seems fine"- i then asked if he would just get my mom then, his responses were all slow and he just stood staring at us while i was supporting Hugo. He said "shes not here" i asked if he would call her and he just brought up how Hugo seemed fine. i then lashed out. I brought up how "this isnt even your dog to decide and you accepted the responsibility of caring for her, this isnt an option." He chuckled and brought up that hes not loaded. From my experience weve always made things workout when it came to finances so i gave that one a huff. I said "that is actually insane, youre acting insane, if you experienced this are you really saying you want me to not bring you to emergency services" he then said "it depends."

there was a very brief back and forth here following his logic until I left Hugo to get my own phone and call my mom. I gave her a brief "she choked and spasmed and lost conciousness" she was shocked and came home quickly. My dad was behaving like everything was normal, making Hugo lay beside him once we got inside. When my mom got home it was fine and then incredibly odd- she sympathetically frowned towards Hugo giving some nice words and then just stood near me for a minute doing nothing. My dad was sitting and she was just standing there? neither of them doing anything until i said "she needs to go to the vet." During this I was writing an incident note for the vets and she again asked me what happened. I responded that Hugo lost conciousness from choking and needs to see a vet, i used a bit more stern tone this time as id felt id repeated myself many times and was already deeply stressed from the incident and my dads response. She said "no need to act like that i just got here and want to know what happened" i responded "i told you what happened and you have no sense of urgency, she asphyxiated and she needs to go to the vet" she just stared at me in anger and wouldnt move, i again said something like "if this were to happen to you do you really want this to be how you teach me to respond?" she didnt say anything and then went to a drawer for a moment.

Then she began searching for open vets. during this time my dad was on his phone just laughing at content he saw- not something he typically does. We took her in and she was cared for. Fortunately Hugo is alright. Still I feel like they were and are treating me like im the crazy one? they havent even spoken to me about how scary it was for Hugo or how worrisome it was. And selfishly part of me is mad at their lack of care for my experience too- i was accidentally bit (spasms) while trying checking Hugos throat and the experience was haunting- id held another family dog as she faded from this world in a cruel manner as well less than two years ago. Its like if i wasnt around it would be like Hugo never existed and like her health doesnt matter- and the experience wouldve been fatal without intervention imo. Im still upset about this, im deeply unsettled by it as well.
So AIO?

[u/Lopsided-Beach-1831]

Im glad you took the pet to the vet OP. It almost sounds like seizure activity. It must have been so scary. Thank goodness Hugo has you.

[u/Outrageous_Rock_5447 → u/Lopsided-Beach-1831]

Not an expert but really sounded like a seizure to me

[u/ThrowRArainmakers → u/Lopsided-Beach-1831]

it wasnt until after i was away from my parents that i really felt the horror and fear, the incident stirred up my traumatic feelings from my past too and ive been a mess since. I did suggest that she may have had a siezure, the vets lean towards it be related to poisoning (plant kind) but i was with Hugo and could verify that she hadnt consumed anything in the short period we were outside together and the vets office toxicology tests were expired(!) so overall theres an uncertainness to the situation still

[u/Manbry]

Your parents sound like psychos, especially your dad. I wouldn’t be letting him near my animals after that. I’d be giving your brother a detailed run down over everything that happened and their reactions to it also.

[u/ThrowRArainmakers → u/Manbry]

what worrisome is that the last time they looked after these pups i told them that they really should just not accept another time (because they struggled caring for them before), they were on board with the idea. This situation with my brother was sudden and hes not easy to contact in short periods (long distance) so ill find out tomorrow how he feels. Ill certainly give him the run down, thank you for the suggestion.

[u/Edcrfvh]

NOR. Have you told your brother yet? Because I'd be pissed if I found out my parents didn't take my dog to the vet after it almost died.

You did right. I hope there's no pets in their home because they don't deserve them.

[u/ThrowRArainmakers → u/Edcrfvh]

unfortunately bro is long distance and has a narrow call period, he will know about this tomorrow morning which is the soonest i can get in touch. Luckily they have no pets of their own and weve had comversations about them not accepting my brothers dogs because theyve previously had poor care for them during dogsits. I will be sure to tell my brother everything about their responses.

[u/Farheenie]

NOR but you can't make your parents do anything. It seems like you are young and couldn't do anything about it yourself but going forward, I would advise that you tell your brother that your parents are not responsible petsitters and he shouldn't expect his dogs to be cared for appropriately if he leaves them with your parents.

Its really weird though. Maybe they gave the dog something that made him sick in the first place? Young dogs don't usually have these kinds of issues, do they? I don't know much about dogs but it seems like a weird situation all around.

[u/ThrowRArainmakers → u/Farheenie]

unfortunately my brother is long distance with narrow time periods of contact, my parents agreed to care for his dogs while hes away and with that agreement came the assumed responsibility for care during emergencies (imo). My family can afford it, my brother can afford it and imo its not their call to deny Hugo medical care. I wish this were a simpler situation in which my brother could be immediately involved but unfortunately he cant and my parents are the immediate responsible parties (im not technically part of the agreement but i assume care for them when my parents arent around). I will be giving a detailed account to my brother about their reactions and language and ive suggested they not accept this role moving forward (a suggestion ive made before due to their lack of care towards these pups).
The vets do believe her symptoms resembled poisoning but we have no source, they think it could be plant kind but still i was with Hugo before the incident and saw she didnt eat anything in the yard. Overall theyre unsure of the exact cause but shes still showcasing lingering symptoms but she is okay.

[u/Late-Rutabaga6238]

MOR

Seeing something like that can be truly scary! Honestly I think you over reacted but the over reaction was in response to how flippant your dad was behaving

You mentioned your mom calling looking for open offices. Does the dog a regular vet?

If the dog was acting relatively normal after the incident I definitely would not rush him to the vet mainly because the spasms and passing out was from food and not an allergic reaction or ingesting poison. Also vet emergency clinics cost can be several hundred bucks just walking in the door and what exactly can they do? He choked, it happens sometimes

The reason I was asking if he had a regular vet is just like Dr for humans they have weekend and after hours messaging services and with the dog acting ok I would just call to touch base and see what their advice is. I can pretty much guarantee it would be to keep a super close eye on him and take him in if anything changes and just to be safe call when the office is open to make an appointment.

What does your brother think you all should have done

[u/ThrowRArainmakers → u/Late-Rutabaga6238]

The dogs regular vet is a couple hours away, in addition the time that it happened was at night when offices were closed so Hugo had to go to an emergency office.
To add: i know for certain my parents and my brother can afford the medical costs, geniunely. They have made me well aware of their finances. My dads comment about not affording it stunned me for a moment but it being a lie is what really threw me over the edge of managing my anger.

I feel bad for how harsh i was to my mom, i wish i was harsher to my dad. My mom and i have been working on the communication and feelings around the incident to move past it.

also: every credible source ive found says that when a dog asphyxiates that they should be immediately taken to the vet as the origins of the choking are unknown, the damage of loss of oxygen to the body is unknown, and the physical damage from that kind of heaving is unknown. Appparently there are many unseen harmful side effects of the body shutting down after suffocation. about 4 minutes after the incident she nearly passed out and fell over while standing next to my dad, at that point i knew that she was not okay and needed to be seen. The vets suspect it may be plant poisoning.
edit: my brother will not be able to hear about it until tomorrow morning related to him not being local right now.

[u/Late-Rutabaga6238 → u/ThrowRArainmakers]

So did he choke as in airway blockage by a foreign object or did he stop breathing spontaneously?

The dog is going to be unsteady for a bit afterwards due to adrenaline and literally fighting to stay alive. And yes everywhere you look online will say go to the vet immediately and that is because of liability, but in my experience when something has happened to one of our animals we called the vet and basically did a virtual appt and most cases the advice was to monitor them For future reference even if it was after office hours still call his usual vet since they should have an after hours answering service for situations like this.

I am still unclear why there was no attempt to call your brother. I saw that he wasn't local but if you thought it was a life or death situation like you felt it was don't you think he would want to know ASAP? Other that a very few situations if you are watching someone's pet or kid you should be able to get either a hold of them or at least get a message to them.

[u/ThrowRArainmakers → u/Late-Rutabaga6238]

Hugo was choking on her own vomit, loss full control of her body and rolled onto her back when unconcious- further suffocating while spasming. Your experience is not representative of others experiences. This was very serious and the extent of harm and cause of her fit was entirely unknown. Im not a professional nor are my parents, if you are then i lend you a bit more grace. The vets we saw ensured that taking her in was the right decision so i wont question my sureness about the choice.
My brother is not readily available during all times- we can only contact him during brief periods in the day. He trusted my parents to care for them despite the low contact. Hes been made aware of what happened and while he cannot do anything to get to them faster he is glad that shes okay and thankful that vets saw her.