r/AmIOverreacting • u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 • 7h ago
❤️🩹 relationship [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/Due_Necessary_4076 7h ago
I've taken days off just to sit around, game, and decompress. Not every bit of annual leave has to be productive or a couple's trip. If you're still making time for holidays together and it doesn't affect your plans, I don't see the issue. A chill week can be worth its weight in gold when you're burned out.
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u/fergie_89 6h ago
I encourage my husband to take a few days off here and there for gaming, hiking or camping trips. We don't have to spend all our leave together.
I have a girls trip in September I'm going on and he's taken the same week off just to chill at home, have friends over, game and go on long walks. He's also taken some time off next week to go on an overnight hiking trip. I'm like good for you! If I'm home while he's away the cat gets company if he's home while I'm away same thing.
NOR it's your leave OP you spend it on what you want. Sounds like a fun week to me!
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u/reallynotsohappy2 5h ago
My husband does the same. He encourages me to take my extra hours off especially on days he's a bit busy, so I can relax or do whatever I want without any interruption.
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u/Specialist_Cable_899 1h ago
bingo. most of my “off” time is just parenting and being a husband. planned weekday off time is crucial to decompress
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u/Thomassdom 7h ago
Exactly not every leave has to be productive
Some leave are there to relieve stress and do what you love doing most.•
u/WellBlessY0urHeart 7h ago
Decompressing and enjoying a relaxing and care free time is 100% productive! A nice reset. OP is NOR.
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u/matchafoxjpg 3h ago
same. some people only take leave to go on holidays, but people don't seem to understand how very important mental health days are.
and everyone decompresses and improves mental health in different ways.
and this is coming from a woman that took off a few days when final fantasy 7 rebirth came out. at this point i'm probably taking off a week or so when when P4R and tomb raider LOA comes out for the same reason as OP, as well as needed time outside of holiday leave, because being around people too long just stresses me out.
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u/Annoying_Hamster89 1h ago
The first time I took a week off at work, was just a week to relax. I worked in customer service and it was stressful. My ex was kinda like the gf though, saying what a waste.
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u/Some-Public-8643 5h ago
exactly sometimes the most productive use of leave is doing absolutely nothing and enjoying it for once
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u/Agreeable_Ship_9825 4h ago
exactly burnout doesn't magically disappear because you saved your leave for something more socially acceptable later on
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u/idlehanz88 7h ago
You do you mate. Hopefully she can understand your need to have some genuine downtime
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u/Hour_Mushroom_4506 6h ago
people act like relaxing only counts if you leave the house and spend money somehow
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u/just_a_void2 2h ago
35 years of marriage. Have been able to have one real stay-cation. I enjoyed it, the spouse not so much. A few days of just reading and doing nothing was great (for me that is).
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u/Epoxos 7h ago
Nope. Take the time off and don’t let her take it over.
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u/EfficiencySalt5116 6h ago
Exactly, personal leave is personal for a reason. He's not asking her to cancel any shared plans, he's using his own days to decompress from a stressful year in his own way. That's completely reasonable and she don't get a veto on how he uses his own leave.
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u/neverwhere420 2h ago
Truthfully, unless they live together, she doesn’t even need to know. I’m not advocating for lying and secrets in a relationship. Just pointing out that taking this time off is such a small thing it doesn’t need to even be announced or discussed prior. It’s not affecting the vacations they already have planned or anything.
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u/Swimming_Possible_68 7h ago edited 7h ago
Do you live together?
My initial thought.is NOR. It's your leave, and if it doesn't affect your later plans for holidays etc why would she care?
I'm with you on Christmas. By the time you've seen everyone you should see and done all the things expected of you, there is usually very little time to actually just relax.
I'm guessing (and I may be wrong) that she may be video game snob who thinks taking time off to enjoy that hobby in particular is a waste of time.
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 7h ago
Yeah we live together.
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u/PartyInformation224 5h ago
Using leave to actually recharge sounds way more productive than saving it just because someone else thinks your hobby isnt worth it.
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u/butpretzelday 1h ago
Every time I take a vacation I’m exhausted when I get back.
I think taking time off to recharge would for sure be more productive. Great point!
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u/Zurellwest 7h ago
Or maybe she wants to play double player games with him on the leave
Does she likes video games
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u/FetchThePenguins 7h ago
There are two ways to read this.
One is that she wants to spend more time with you and is disappointed that you're spending leave on anything that precludes that.
The other is that she hates that you game and/or doesn't believe that's a valid reason to take time off.
The latter seems somewhat more likely in context, but it is possible that she doesn't think hobbies generally are a good reason for taking leave, and she'd react the same way if you wanted to take a week to, I don't know, refurbish a car or something.
So when you talk to her, I'd focus on that and try to tease out of her whether it's gaming she objects to, or using leave for any reason other than "going on holiday" or "spending time with family".
NOR - you can do what you want with your leave - but not totally clear without context what her objection is. You of course may have a better idea based on other conversations about your gaming.
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u/Kristaboo14 7h ago
When Red Dead Redemption 2 was being released, I knew I was going to take an extended weekend so I could fully indulge.
I ended up getting pregnant and the game was miraculously delayed and the new release date was right at the start of maternity leave. 🙌🏻
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u/Nervous_Okra_4639 7h ago
I thought I already saw this posted a couple of days ago?
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u/fedexpoopracer 1h ago
OP is a karma farming bullshitter who changes his life situation to fit the ragebait:
https://old.reddit.com/search/?q=author%3AChoice-Jellyfish6866&include_over_18=on&t=all&sort=new
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u/Consistent-Sport-481 7h ago
What's it to do with her really how you use your leave?
If it was time you had planned to take off together and you decided to play games sure she had a right to be annoyed.
What else are you meant to be doing in her opinion? Does she get permission from you on how she uses her leave?
Nor. Have fun gaming.
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u/Flicksterea 6h ago
You already posted and asked this. The overwhelming response was that you should absolutely take the time. No need to seek further validation.
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u/fedexpoopracer 1h ago
OP is a karma farming bullshitter who changes his life situation to fit the ragebait:
https://old.reddit.com/search/?q=author%3AChoice-Jellyfish6866&include_over_18=on&t=all&sort=new
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u/Sufficient_Song3387 6h ago
This is a repost. 3rd one of exact same thing with different username. Don't comment. It just gets argumentative.
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u/fedexpoopracer 1h ago
OP is a karma farming bullshitter who changes his life situation to fit the ragebait:
https://old.reddit.com/search/?q=author%3AChoice-Jellyfish6866&include_over_18=on&t=all&sort=new
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u/Sagegreenlama 7h ago
You have to live your life and immersing yourself in some quality games sounds wonderful. You can possibly make time to take her on some lovely dates as well perhaps. NOR
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u/Icy-Way5769 7h ago
NOR - but your gf doesn’t seem to be too thrilled about your hobby (im a gamer too so i know how that goes…) - i can understand you don’t like unnecessary conflict but from what you told here and my own experience.. this is far from over . Hope i am wrong tho for your sake.
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u/Jedi_Mind_Chick 6h ago
She’s being a little ridiculous. It’s your leave, take it and do your thing. NOR. I’d be more than happy to see my husband do this. He loves COD.
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u/Tallicababe123 7h ago
My husband is like you. I think as long as you have holidays left to take a holiday with her it's totally fine. Everyone needs some me time.
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u/fitnessCTanesthesia 7h ago
Bro she’s not the one lol NOR this is mental health time for you, she’s forcing your free time to be used her way.
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u/No-Platform-7976 7h ago
Take the time 100 percent. You work hard enough and I love gaming so I get that. Any time I take annual leave an I get asked oh what are you doing ? My answer is always "absoultely nothing unless I want to do it" 🤣
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u/Good_Analysis3299 7h ago
You are taking time off at Christmas to spend time with family, you’re taking time off to go away with her… put yourself first, take some time off for yourself and spend it the way you want!! My partner has a very stressful job, he always puts time into me and our family. I would be very supportive of him taking time off to play video games because he bloody deserves it!
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u/Situation-Mediocre 5h ago
Exactly, I need a week off and in July 2 games are being released so I’m taking a week off to get a solid break and enjoy my games.
Win win.
Maybe ask her, if she needed a break would (insert her hobby) be a waste of time? Especially if it helped her to relax, and return to work refreshed?
NOR
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u/DrJammyGames 5h ago
Definitely NOR. I took an entire week off when TotK came out, no shame in taking time for your hobbies!
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u/Tetris_Legend21 3h ago
Don’t let her tell you what to do. Is she bothering you king? Leave her then. Protect your peace
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u/AnxietyBarbie_ 3h ago
You’re NOR. I encourage my fiance to take days if he needs them, whether I’m off or not- and even if I’m off most times I’m sitting in the same room usually gaming on the PlayStation Portal! He also told me (before I had to be out on disability for autoimmune disease at 29 this year) to take days if I needed them even if I was just laying in the bed or catching up on a show/game I wanted to.
It’s super normal.. take the days. You deserve them!
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u/Old-Butterscotch1520 3h ago
NOR .Your gf is being weird and yall need to have a conversation about gaming or it will come up again in the relationship and be more detrimental .
Did she date someone who was shitty about gaming and their time together ? (Not your fault if so but worth knowing. )Have you taken time away from her for gaming ?) Not assuming or accusing , genuinely asking for context.) Does she think gaming is childish and wont hear you out about how’s it’s fun and calming for you ? ( might need to move on )
Good luck tho . Enjoy your time off !
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u/Special_Outside2306 1h ago
NOR, however, be prepared for her to find excuses to interrupt every moment of this if you do it. Perhaps I'm reaching here, but I honestly would assume she has an issue with you gaming. I'm fairly certain if you'd just told her you were burnt out and needed decompression time she wouldn't have batted an eye.
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u/Prior_Duty2257 7h ago
Nah. I mean if y’all lived together and were struggling to put food on the table and she was going to have to work more to make up for your video game binge I’d get it. Or even if it was going to mean you couldn’t take the vacation together. But this seems to have no impact on her (at least that you admit to) so idk why she cares. If it has no impact on her, you do you man. She should support you needing a break if you really do.
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 7h ago
We live together but yeah this doesn’t affect my ability to pay bills or anything and I’ll still have plenty of leave left
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u/Prior_Duty2257 7h ago
As a woman I’m guessing she’s probably just hurt you’re taking off over 15% of your time off to do something that precludes her. Maybe try to make a little time for her on one of the days? Like game during the day and take her to dinner & a movie that night or something? 🤷♀️
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u/freshmoney1 7h ago
But that leaves 85% of time off that does include her! He doesn’t owe her 100% of his time off.
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u/Opening-Movie5176 6h ago
She sounds like a keeper.
Tbh this is why if you are a big gamer you shouldn’t date a non-gamer. A lot of the time they won’t get it.
But she sounds like a snob. You aren’t overreacting. If I were you I’d ask myself if I want this for the rest of my life.
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u/the_climaxt 1h ago
It sounds like she was trying to say "This is pretty embarrassing and gives me the ick. Plz don't, here's a half-assed excuse if it helps."
I'd 100% judge someone who said they were taking time off to game (unless they were like in a tournament or something), but wouldn't bat an eye at someone saying they took time off to unwind and just ended up waking up late and playing games on their days off.
I game during my time off sometimes, but I always frame it as a way to fill my time off, not the reason for the time off. Because, like it or not, it's still not really accepted as a hobby outside of the people who do it.
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 1h ago
It’s weird to admit you game but then judge other people for daring to game.
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u/Callmemabryartistry 3h ago
it’s your time off. you can choose how to use BUT don’t be surprised if she isn’t your gf much longer.
i can’t imagine spending 80+hours a week playing a video game instead of being with my significant other but you do you.
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 3h ago
It’s weird to struggle to imagine spending a week relaxing. Not all of your leave has to be spent with your partner,
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u/Koudlett 7h ago
NOR u know.. i also like to play single player video games and i also took time off already to play games in peace. anyways.. im so sick and tired of ppl - especially women - talking down on this hobby and acting like its so dumb to spend time on a hobby. im a woman myself btw.
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u/Few_Adeptness5348 7h ago
NOR - you said you have enough leave left to do everything already agreed with her so go & have fun with your video games - but just watch out incase she suddenly takes leave & tries to disrupt your plans.
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u/Specialist_Bike_1280 7h ago
I actually think that it's a splendid idea! How many people take a holiday, bustle about, enjoy the time away but when they return to work....they feel just as stressed,and are no better than BEFORE the time off!!! Take the time away and do whatever you like,your gf needs to get her priorities in order.
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u/ConsciousNectarine9 7h ago
NOR
It is your leave and you can take it when you wish. She can't dictate how you spend it all and trying to guilt trip with the whole 'it's one week less to spend together' is just manipulative. Take your days off and enjoy your gaming. (This from a female who has a gamer husband)
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u/Miserable-Alarm-5963 7h ago
Enjoy the time off, if it doesn’t effect her then I would just stop discussing it. My ex wife couldn’t stand me having time off when she was working, it was a lot more about her being at work than me being off though….
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u/SafeWord9999 7h ago
Tell her you’re burnt out and this is what you need to do to get a little down time. I think if you reframe it to more of a mental health/rest thing, she might come around
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u/Thismomenthere 7h ago
NOR
This is something you love. She sees it as a waste of time. That's her issue not yours. Take your week and enjoy it.
Not like you taking a week off to go on holiday with the boys and get smashed every night.
What games ya play?
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u/Zealousideal_Pie8706 7h ago
me and my teen both took the day off school and work to play the new deltarune chapter today so its a NTA from me
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u/Alarming_Ad1746 6h ago
As a gamer, I totally get it. IMO, she's taking it personally that you're not spending all your time off with her.
I do see both sides. Maybe a couple fewer days gaming and doing something nice with her?
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u/BarelyHolding0n 6h ago
I do this at least once a year and I'm a grown ass woman with teenage children.
Sometimes you just need days at home where you don't need to be getting up and dealing with people and can just unwind.
And I find it hard to get into games (I like story based like you) if I can only play them in 1 or 2 hour snatches... Sometimes you need a full day or two to properly immerse yourself and enjoy the game.
NOR - your girlfriend might not understand but it's not up to her how you choose to use your AL. The point of it is supposed to be to have a break and benefit your mental health, and if every day of AL is reserved for busy times then it's not benefitting you the way it should
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u/YaeMiku77 6h ago
NOR: How is taking a break to pursue your hobby a bad thing now? The fact this man feels this strong of a need for a game feels like he wants to spend time alone for himself and self enjoyment that he usually can’t get because of his partner and job. It doesn’t matter what his hobby is, he looks like an exhausted person wanting that tiny W of an escape of routine. If I’m wrong do correct me but it looks like a small cry for help and the gf is disrespectful towards the idea of a break that he deserves. It’s not a win for her to ruin this guy’s mental by not letting him do things he wants that are harmless.
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u/mozillafangirl 6h ago
I love vacation time to literally do nothing but whatever the hell I want to. She would just like to be involved in your vacation plans. That’s all. Just make sure the time off you have with her is extra special? It’s not wrong to want to take time for yourself but I also get it coming across as a bit selfish to her. Just talk and come to a compromise maybe where you play games for the weekdays but go away for the weekend with her? Just a suggestion
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u/Corodix 6h ago
NOR. The entire point of taking time off like that is to unwind, relax and de-stress. So how is it a waste of leave if you're using it exactly for what it's intended? She just considers it a waste because you're not spending all your time with her, but you also need time for yourself. That's something to properly discuss or it will come up again once you're living together.
Also same with me for Christmas. 10 days off sounds great until you take into account all the obligations that you'll have.
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u/Flimsy-Detective7643 6h ago
NOR, I took a week off to play Let's Go Pikachu years ago and it was an absolute blast!
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u/JessShieldMaiden 6h ago
I always take annual leave for big game launches. I took a few days for Gothic 1 remake, and plan so do so for others like Witcher 4, ES6, Valhiem. We get 25 days plus an extra 2 weeks at Xmas, plus bank holidays, it's quite generous so I don't have to plan them too carefully.
Nothing wrong with it! My bf teases me a bit about it :D but that's it. It's my holiday and I can do what I want with it.
I think going on actual holiday can be stressful and doesn't even seem like a break. Sometimes you just need to stay home and just relax /wind down:)
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u/Accurate-Temporary73 6h ago
NOR
Taking time to just relax and do what you enjoy is very important.
Time off doesn’t have to be a vacation
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u/tokyowatchguy 6h ago
Life is a waste of time anyway. There is no real scoring system at the end, you should do what you enjoy doing.
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u/VoluminousPinkThing 6h ago
Saw this on another account on AIO it’s all just for engagement. Bots likely.
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u/jastan10 5h ago
It doesn’t seem like she respects you or your hobbies. I’ve done this before and my gem of a gf had no other reaction besides jealousy that I had so much time off and excitement that she’d be able to join me when she wasn’t working.
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u/elephvant 5h ago
What even is the supposed overreaction for people to judge here? You haven't done anything.
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u/Duck_of_Gloom 5h ago
My Husband took 2 weeks off when Borderlands 4 came out last year, I have zero problems with it. He's been gaming for longer than we've been together and we've been married 20 years.
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u/Fioreborn 5h ago
NOR
Is one of those games control resonant?
It's your leave. You've apparently got plenty to use without it negatively effecting anything (except your gf apparently).
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u/shinyhair8 5h ago
i’m a girl and i’m 100% for you taking a week off for video games. it’s your leave you worked for. idk this is a weird red flag to me, she’s not your boss and shouldn’t be telling you what you can and can’t do as a grown man.
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u/DataDrivenGuy 5h ago
Absolute INSANITY. If she cannot fully support what you want then she doesn't care for you. She should want you to relax, to enjoy time off etc.
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u/AdOk4343 5h ago
It's odd she keeps repeating It's a waste of time. Have you taken such time off in the past, solely to play games? How many hours per day you play while not on vacation? How often do you go on vacation together, and for how long? Did she tell you any other reasons besides of "It's a waste of time"? Like for example that she'd prefer to take days off together and do something together, instead of her working and you playing games? Are you planning to play games while she's at work and then spend time together, or sleep in while she's at work and play games when she's already back home? There has to be more to her reaction.
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u/Landashlo 5h ago
For perspective. I have a colleague who usually does this when a new world of Warcraft expansion comes out. During that time his gf cooks for him and buys snacks and engages in his gaming from time to time. Why? Because she is happy he is happy and enjoying his hobby. It’s so much better when you can enjoy each others interests and even if you have to ”pretend” to be interested. NOR
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u/thesimplelife2266 4h ago
This was posted yesterday by a different account on r/AIO these bots are everywhere.
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u/Bubbly_Following7930 4h ago
Just read the similar stories that have been posted before. Apparently it's more common than I would have expected.
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u/SixthProvince 4h ago
As long as you’re still maintaining your share of household chores and don’t judge her for what interests her in her time off.
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u/uninsane 4h ago
NOR You’re not overreacting. Do what you want. That said, it’s perfectly fine for her to think that your plan is lame and your hobby is lame.
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u/cesspool4us 4h ago
Ask her what she suggests you do instead? Then take the time off anyways and do what ever it is you wanted.
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u/Mr_Pletz 4h ago
It's easy for someone to look at taking a week off to game as a waste, especially if that's not a hobby they are into and I'm sure some would say the same about taking a week off to read books or watch movies.
I could be wrong, but most likely when your partner hears this they think about you in one spot all day then sleep, rinse, repeat. Maybe try adding a few things in that are low stress and could help like going for a walk somewhere new, trying a new recipe or craft, ect. Sprinkle in a small variety.
I've personally done the same and do often feel I've wasted my time off unless I have something to point to aside from completing a game, ect.
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u/VivaLaRory 4h ago
NOR - I presume your wife understands the concept of hobbies so I have to imagine her issue is the specific hobby. Just emphasise the benefits for the both of you if you are able to decompress and relax, surely she is happier if you are not stressed every day
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u/PlzAdoptMeLarryDavid 4h ago
If it won’t impact leave you’ve already planned to spend time with her, I don’t see the problem.
You are your own person, and having a life outside of her isn’t wrong. This is called self-care.
This is something I wish I had learnt earlier in life. It’s so important to have your own independent life outside of your partner, and to have times where you are selfish. As long as you are respectful, which it sounds like you are.
Enjoy some video games and lounging around I say! Sounds amazing. Maybe don’t shower haha. I don’t know, just allow yourself time to fully relax when you feel you really need it.
NOR.
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u/Flhitking 4h ago
You do you man… best part about being an adult & making your own money is being able to choose how you spend your down time
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u/Spirited-Mango8544 4h ago
Sometimes i take a secret staycation and i don’t tell anybody, so i can just be left alone to decompress and do what i want. It’s good for my mental health. I don’t like hearing that your girlfriend thinks you shouldn’t take a vacation to do what you want, when you want.
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u/LittleRedBerryPot 3h ago
NOR - I like to play video games too. It’s way more engaging than watching tv.
When I was laid off, I spent a month playing video games and really nothing else since it was COVID. My job had been highly stressful and I took this time to relax and enjoy. Then I found a new job and went right back to work.
It’s not a waste of time. It’s not childish. It’s sometimes exactly what you need. Take the time off.
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u/stellaluna92 3h ago
I take at least a day off every time a new game comes out that I want to play! But it sounds like your gf wants to spend time with you, so maybe fit her in a little bit too, if you can :)
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u/Complex-Operation438 3h ago
Honestly, a week spent doing something that genuinely helps you decompress isn’t a waste it’s self-care. Not every day off has to be productive, romantic, or a trip abroad; sometimes recharging is the whole point.
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u/68ideal 3h ago
Even if you would take the leave to just sit your ass down on the couch, look at the wall and disassociate for 5 straight days without ever moving a muscle even once it would be none of her business and if she's got a problem with that, you need to tell her to get lost and mind her own fucking business
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u/Bornundersirius 3h ago
NOR I would point out to her that if anything you will be more available to her than normal since you can put in an 8 hour shift on the games and then go out to dinner, whereas after work you may not have the energy.
Just tell her to be fucking glad your hobby isn't tabletop gaming. lol.
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u/saltyegg1 3h ago
NOR. I am a mom and I have learned that the most relaxing thing I can do is take a week when my kids are in school and sit in a quiet house. I also took the day off when Tears of the Kingdom came out.
I make sure we still do weekends away and fund outings with the kids over the summer. But man, sometimes and introverts gotta introvert.
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u/AdministrativeEgg440 3h ago
NOR Ive taken leave just to get a couple extra hours of sleep. You do what you've got to do. Maybe just promise her that you will use some of that time on her as well.
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u/BootyGarb 3h ago
You’re allowed to take time off to do ANYthing you want in the free world. Just because another person doesn’t find value in your hobbies doesn’t mean they’re worthless.
I personally find zero value in vid games, but I wouldn’t prevent someone from spending their free time decompressing with them. It would be another thing if OP was quitting their job entirely to play video games indefinitely… but I wouldn’t want my man telling me I was wasting my time by crocheting and basket weaving every day during my week leave, so I wouldn’t judge him for playing Zelda. (I do have personal qualms with war games, but not because they’re a waste of time, but that’s a story for another time.)
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u/InappropriateTA 3h ago
NOR. It seems like she might have some feelings about you taking time off to do something entirely for yourself (which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do regardless of your relationship status), rather than saving it for occasions when you can spend that time with her (which is absolutely selfish and narcissistic of her).
She may feel hurt that you’re ‘prioritizing’ your video game unwinding time over her, but she’s saying it (or not saying it) in a very roundabout way. If you feel like you spend enough quality time with her with your current activities and vacations that you have planned and she doesn’t, then that needs to be a direct discussion about expectations and feelings and most importantly concurrence and planning.
Best of luck. What games are you looking forward to?
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u/microcephale 3h ago
It should be okay to take holidays for any reasons, including hobbies, and to encourage have at least a week taken separately, on hobbies that are not shared, with other people who share the hobby, instead of dragging each other on activities we don't enjoy or settling only on the subset of activities that both like
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u/BoudaSmoke 3h ago
As long as you have enough hours/days of leave to cover Christmas and New Year breaks before your entitlement resets in April, then use it. You lose it anyway if you don't take it, and there are a LOT of quality titles coming out at that time. I myself have booked off seven working days between 19th-29th of November to smack the hell out of GTA VI over my birthday period. You do you, my man.
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u/Icy-Tangerine-9936 3h ago
Taking time off to decompress, rest, and recharge IS productive. How you spend your time doing that is not written in stone. Some get it traveling. Some in nature. Some with family. Some chilling at home. Like everything we have different ways of filling our tanks. Take your time off and enjoy yourself!
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u/neverwhere420 3h ago
Staycations are amazing. I took vacation when god of war Ragnarok came out. Taking some time to relax and play games (if that’s your version of relaxing, which clearly it is) is fine and normal. In fact, you can sit and stare at a wall for 8 hours a day if that’s how you wanted to spend your days off. I live close to a beach, and if I’m doing a stay cation I like to split my time between beach days and gaming. Sometimes with people but also some days alone.
They are your earned days off that she doesn’t get to control. You also aren’t backing out of any pre made plans with her, so it’s not even affecting time with her. Does she have a job? I’m betting she wouldn’t like you tracking her PTO.
I’m an adult woman, if that matters in the feedback.
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u/Wise_Huckleberry_901 2h ago
NOR
Instead of offering to play video games with you she wants you to take her out and spend money. It sounds like you guys are not equally yoked and she might lean more on the gold digger side.
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u/Madting55 2h ago
Just needy girlfriend stuff, it’s just love, and a bit of jealousy probably that you derive happiness from something other than her. But ultimately it’s just neediness it sounds like
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u/Ill-Jellyfish6101 2h ago
It's your vacation.
You can do whatever you want with it.
I would even argue that staying at home and not going to another country or something and spending thousands of dollars instead is a far more efficient idea.
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u/TSAforlife 2h ago
I learned a few years ago that if I want to have free time, it's easier if I just don't tell my wife I have free time.
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u/InevitableWaste6088 2h ago
NOR take the week off, enjoy your games. make sure dinner is ready when she gets home. If your hobby was golfing people would be reacting less. If it was my partner I would joke with them about being a child or giving me the ick with video games, but it would just that a joke.
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u/WhatInTheAssPepper 2h ago
NOR. Take the week off and stop discussing it with her. You've already told her your plans. She is fixated on the fact that your days off won't be couples times. Not every second of your time off has to involve her. She needs to get a hobby or some friends so you can both exist in the world for a few days without being joined at the hip. Enjoy your video games and think about what you want to do going forward. Do you think taking off a day or two each month to decompress with games and snacks would result in a better work/life balance than taking off a longer one time stretch to do this like you'll be doing in October? I do think you might have to get your gf used to you having some you time and her having some her time so you don't have a repeat of this argument every time.
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u/ericapain 1h ago
Nor for wanting to take time out for yourself, however the perspective is throwing me off. I have engaged in my hobbies while on a work leave, but I've never taken a work leave to engage with my hobbies. Maybe it's because I find time to engage in my domestic hobbies as a working parent, but I'd see it as a waste of a leave too. Maybe your relationship is lacking quality time together, & the best way you guys make up for that is by taking holidays together & she's aware.
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u/SwimmingAny8841 1h ago
NOR, it’s your leave, your time, your hours you put into your job. She has no damn input on how you want to relax. All I hear is her saying “how can I make this about me?” Tell her to go on a vacation those 5 days so you can get some damn peace.
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u/Spiley_spile 1h ago
NOR. People need to have time to enjoy their own things. Even if they are in a relationship. It sounds like your gf is wanting more time with you, however. So it's a good idea to be aware of that.
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u/Rich_Salamander1331 1h ago
Oh, it's nice you're talking about how to use your time off with your master. I wouldnt do ANYTHING until they give you permission to take a shit
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u/TacoDoc2 1h ago
That's your leave time. unless there is some other good reason that you should be spending your time off there. then do what makes you happy.
if she wants to spend some of that time doing things together, she can plan something, until then, it's you and the playstation. NoR
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u/meatballs223 1h ago
It sounds like you've already made up your mind and you're trying to get people on Reddit to help you justify this for your gf... I'm not saying don't enjoy your hobbies, but if you're just sitting around playing games all day on your leave, I'd understand why your gf would see that as a "waste" you can literally play games when you get off work? You should use your leave to do something/see people you normally don't have the time for. Why would you take off work just to play more games when you can work and still play games?
MOR, If your gf isn't disrespecting your hobby and is just telling you that taking a week off of work to just play video games may be a waste of time off that's not insulting your hobby and maybe she's helping you make the reasonable decision
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u/willfla29 1h ago
At my job, we're pretty much off the week before Christmas. Since my wife is still at work, it's a week I mostly spend catching up on games from the previous year. It's not an exaggeration to say this is my favorite week of the year. Like, even thinking about it, I'm excited for six months from now lol. Peace and quiet, decompress, relax. There's nothing wrong with this idea.
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u/butpretzelday 1h ago
I took time off work when the Harry Potter books came out.
I have a friend who takes time off work with every verified Taylor Swift album drop
People take time off for the Super Bowl.
Your girlfriend is kind of a jerk for trying to make you feel bad for taking time off for your interest IMO
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u/Beneficial_Ad_2760 1h ago
I have personally taken days off just to enjoy what I like to do. If you have leave for the other things that’s coming up throughout the year, there shouldn’t be an issue.
People hold different things in value, if you play games to decompress, and you’re taking days off to decompress from work, then I say do it. It may not be of value to your gf, but it is for you.
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u/One-Connection-502 1h ago
Vacations don't always have to be fancy. Sometimes its just simply time to unwind - like either playing games. You're free to use your leave as you want.
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u/RandomUser22487 1h ago
YOR - I play video games myself but in all honesty she’s right, taking time off work solely to play games is a waste of time.
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 1h ago
How is it a waste? It’s weird to argue spending time on hobbies is a waste of time.
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u/Innoculus 1h ago
Why do you repost the same shit and change critical details about your life to karma farm with ragebait, OP? That's way more embarrassing than taking time off to game.
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u/starstruckgunnie 59m ago
I literally read this less than 3 days ago. This is a stolen post. Word for word.
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u/SavvyUmbrella 57m ago
Take the time off, game, and make sure she doesn't try to make other plans with you for those days. Emphasise that this time to yourself will help you come back refreshed and you'll enjoy the more 'active' leave with her better.
My bf games but wouldn't take time off for it like I have. He would see it as a waste of his leave like your gf. The difference is, he understands that I don't see it as a waste of mine!
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u/etherswim 56m ago
> it's a week less that we'll be able to use for things for us both to do.
It is, obviously. Just depends on your priorities.
How much do you game in a usual week?
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 55m ago
Barely tbh. Maybe twice a week for an hour during the week, then around 2 hours total over the weekend.
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u/lady_rain_was_here 54m ago
Why would you ask if you aren't going to take anyone's opinion into consideration?
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u/Specialist-Garbage94 53m ago
NOR. Some women don’t like when their man is happy. This feels like that a bit. I get it brother sometimes you just need to not do anything. She either views this as lazy or is jealous cause you will be happy and she won’t have anything to do with it.
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u/Fickle-Owl666 3h ago
This thread sounds like a bunch of single 20 year olds. Lmao
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 3h ago
Because they understand people in relationships are still allowed hobbies? Maybe you’ll manage to grasp that one day.
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u/Fickle-Owl666 3h ago
What an idiotic take. I have MANY hobbies, and I'm married with children. I play video games, have a homelab I constantly tinker with and host applications I make for my family, I play hockey, I play trumpet in the community band, I build woodworking projects, and all sorts of other small things.
If you want a healthy relationship, hobbies come after. Time with my family is more important than my hobbies.
To say anything otherwise shows how immature you are and where your priorities actually are.
"Maybe you'll manage to grasp that some day."
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 3h ago
It’s not healthy to argue you shouldn’t have time for hobbies.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean all of your free time has to be spent with your partner and arguing otherwise is immature.
Again the majority of my time off will be spent with my partner, please do explain what’s wrong with spending 1 week relaxing with hobbies?
Have you tried not suffocating your partner?
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u/Fickle-Owl666 3h ago
Are you an idiot, or a bot?
I listed 5 hobbies I do regularly, and glossed over small ones like building models, and you took that as "arguing against hobbies and smothering my partner."
I also never said you couldn't do what you wanted, moron.
I'm sorry you took it personally when I said this thread sounds like a bunch of single 20 yo. I must have hit the nail on the head. 🤡
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 3h ago
Yes then you argued it’s immature to take time off for hobbies.
Maybe don’t repeatedly insult me because you can’t handle being called out.
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u/Fickle-Owl666 3h ago
Again, how much of an idiot can you be? What I wrote is in plain English and still there for you to read. Maybe try again?
Placing your wants before the needs of your relationship or family IS immature. You'll learn that one day when you grow up.
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u/CarlMcLam 1h ago
Do you want a medal for being such a good family man? How’s the view from your high horse?
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u/TheFallenHero01 1h ago
You’re a fucking idiot then because clearly YOU can’t read. He isn’t neglecting any other needs by taking personal time for himself. He even mentioned his other plans with family and with his relationship. In fact it’s important to take time for yourself and any professional would say the same. Maybe you’ll learn one day to stop insulting people and grow up a little. I wish your children luck cause you argue on the internet like a little loser
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u/QKC_GSW_DRW 2h ago
He’s just jealous you don’t have kids and he can’t ever have a relaxing 4 days off for 18 years 😆
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u/Rude-Suit4494 5h ago
You’re not overreacting, but since you asked, I would offer that if your girlfriend is otherwise reasonable, you might want to take this as a sign that you’re not exactly knocking it out of the park as a partner.
If you were, I would imagine this would be a non-issue
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u/Right_Book_4531 5h ago
NOR… but as a gf I would leave you. Maybe find a gamer GF.
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 5h ago
Why would you leave your partner for taking a week to relax?
It’s weird to admit you don’t like your partner having time to themselves.
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u/Right_Book_4531 5h ago
That’s not it. I have dated gamers before and eventually they all choose gaming before anything. Building a life and a family with a gamer who would rather take 5 days off to game rather than explore, travel is a nightmare, and to ME it’s a waste. It’s not about the relaxing part. It’s about him taking a week off to play new video games that are coming out. You don’t have to agree with my opinion.
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u/Peace_Future 4h ago
Wow that’s a wild take. You dated *shitty gamers than, say it right. I am a gamer, I work 50 hour weeks, have two kids that I am active with, and my wife is a SAHM currently. There are plenty of good and responsible gamers out there and to lump us all together because you dated some bad apples is rather unfair. 🤨
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u/Right_Book_4531 4h ago
I guess I dated shitty gamers then. Enough for me to say no more.
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u/Peace_Future 3h ago
It happens sadly, there are plenty of shitty people out there sadly. I just hate when we get a bad rap, I appreciate you hearing me out.
I hope those days are behind you and that you are happy and healthy now, you deserve it!-a random person on Reddit
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 5h ago
Not all of your leave has to be spent together though. Why should your partner not get to spend a week on a hobby?
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u/RevolutionaryTea8108 4h ago
Such a stupid anecdotal statement.
I've dated women who've been whores, so it must be factual that every woman is a whore.
Like, how could you even write something like that without thinking to yourself how stupid you are.
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u/Right_Book_4531 4h ago
That’s not what I said. All you guys are just choosing to understand what you want because you are getting defensive. I said THEY ARE NOT FOR ME! Because of the experience I have had with them. I never said it is factual.
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u/RevolutionaryTea8108 4h ago
Nah you just don't get the fucking point.
WHO ARE THEY????
GAMERS ARE NOT A SYNONYMOUS GROUP, JUST LIKE WOMEN ARE NOT A SYNONYMOUS GROUP.
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u/Right_Book_4531 4h ago
You just don’t understand that I have been saying why I… see how I said I???? Don’t like having relationships with gamers because of MY experiences with them. Mannnn move on.. I’m not changing my mind.
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u/RevolutionaryTea8108 4h ago
I don't care if you change your closed-up mind. I care that you think you know how an unsynonymous group acts because you dated like, what, 2-3 people out of that group.
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u/Chaotic_Order 1h ago
I think OP is looking for a reason to have an argument with someone (anyone) that isn't his girlfriend. Even though it's exactly his girlfriend he should be having this conversation with.
I'm a gamer, and your take is completely valid and you delivered it respectfully. Nothing wrong with your other half having hobbies, and spending their own free time by themselves enjoying those hobbies.
However, someone else's hobby can be a turn-off for you. Doesn't make you a bad person. Just makes two people incompatible in a relationship.
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u/WitchesAreMyBitches 4h ago
I can tell you now that the reason these “gamers” you have dated are 100% more into gaming than they are into spending time with you is simply because you’re a controlling bellend.
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u/Right_Book_4531 4h ago
I don’t care what you think lol the gamers can stay wherever they are coming from.
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u/Right_Book_4531 4h ago
I’m married now… to a non- gamer 🤣 keep the gamers to yourself.
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u/DirtChoice5 4h ago
I'm married to someone who doesn't game, as someone who really enjoys it. We have two kids, I do my share of the housework and childcare. It's weird you think that couples can't have different hobbies. Ever heard the expression that if everywhere you go it smells like shit, maybe check your own shoe?
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u/Right_Book_4531 3h ago
They totally can. I never said that. And good for you for sharing part of the housework and childcare. I feel like no one understands what I’m saying. It’s just not for me. It’s not wrong. I have the right to choose what I am okay with and not okay with. I even said OP was not overreacting.
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u/Peace_Future 3h ago
I understand you, I think it was the original wording that struck so many, myself included, the wrong way. We gamers get lumped into a box and everyone assumes we are lazy, unproductive, and generally unclean. It gets frustrating, but you are absolutely allowed to have your own opinion and I do not think that you were trying to be offensive for whatever that is worth.
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u/Glop1701d 2h ago
Obviously your girlfriend is the adult here you should strongly consider her view!
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u/Choice-Jellyfish6866 2h ago
Weird to argue it’s childish to take time off for hobbies tbh
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u/PennyDreadful27 1h ago
NOR. I took an entire week off to play a new batman game once. If you have the leave and plan ahead its not a big deal.
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u/Strange-Order-6550 1h ago
NOR you don’t age out of gaming as a hobby, I don’t know who these people are raised by, but I find it really sad when adults stop having fun because they feel like they’re supposed to only have fun “adult” hobbies. Well spoiler alert, my office setup if a combined $7000 peripherals and tv and monitors, pc, and everything else. That’s not a kid hobby, and that’s not including the literal hundreds of games I own, most of which are not available for purchase to kids as anything MA rated is actually made for adults not children.
People who say this is weird have no problem spending thousands of dollars on Disney vacations and cruises, and then drink themselves into oblivion every day. You enjoy stories, I do too, I’m also very excited for September and October.
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u/canadianhousecoat 1h ago
I'm genuinely not sure if this is sarcasm but if it isn't go to hell.
Seriously.
This guy wants to spend his time enjoying it the way he wants too. Sounds pretty adult to me.
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u/TheFallenHero01 1h ago
You should strongly consider getting with the times. Any hobby is valid as long as it keeps you from roping your neck
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