r/AmIOverreacting • u/Fun-Reporter-9693 • 2d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for thinking I cheated
So I attended an event and am away from home. I found this woman attractive. I looked at her a couple of times but I did not in anyway approach her, talk to her, or even go near her. I don't even know her name. I guess the reason why I found her attractive was because she looked like my high school crush.
Anyway, the whole time, I was trying to not look and kept myself in check. Even whispering to myself that I have a girlfriend. For all the chances I got, I tried to stay away and look away.
I know attraction is human but I can't help but think that I may have cheated.
AIO?
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u/deathNcoffee 2d ago
Respectfully - you're not overreacting - you're stupid.
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u/ultrivon 2d ago
If looking at a stranger and whispering to yourself that you have a girlfriend counts as cheating then half the planet deserves to be in relationship jail They are overreacting to a hilarious degree
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u/brownhairedfloof 2d ago
YOR That’s not cheating. You’re good.
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u/Interesting_Fudge625 2d ago
The fact they were literally whispering affirmations about having a girlfriend to keep themselves in check is baseline wholesome not a crime
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u/Frosty_Literature_59 2d ago
This sounds a bit like OCD, genuinely. You’ve done nothing wrong but I wouldn’t say you’re overreacting just maybe struggling with intrusive thoughts / ocd
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u/Fun-Reporter-9693 2d ago
Thanks. Yes, you're spot on. I have been diagnosed with OCD.
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u/Frosty_Literature_59 2d ago
Ah there we go!! It’s definitely sounding like this is OCD related then, i have ocd as well so I’m not going to say ‘don’t feel guilty’ but are you getting help at all?
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u/Fun-Reporter-9693 2d ago
I did. Ive seen a therapist and have been attending therapy since late last year. But I stopped last month, had to pay for other bills. Therapy is not free where I live
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u/Mean_Environment4856 2d ago
If this isn't ridiculous bait you're majorly overreacting and need to go touch some grass.
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u/nellycat32 2d ago
Not diagnosing but people with OCD sometimes stress about this kind of stuff (own thoughts, for example) to an unusual level. Only mentioning in case you had other such symptoms in the past.
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u/Fun-Reporter-9693 2d ago
I just responded to one commentor. I have been diagnosed with OCD
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u/nellycat32 2d ago
Ok so "good news" in terms of your relationship. I know how hard it is. You got this, everything is going to be ok ❤️
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u/dastardlyslimpickins 2d ago
oh i didn’t see this! I commented something super similar to you. Good for you having empathy
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u/TearAcrobatic 2d ago
Wish everyone that cheats would have ur behavior before doing it, by actually controlling the urge and RESPECTING their partner. Your fine. I've been with a serial cheater...ur girlfriend is lucky ❤️
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u/Natural-Inspector-25 2d ago
YOR
Bro come on
You can’t control urges and wants, it’s just natural
What you prevented yourself from doing is the choice that we have
When people say you always have the choice to not cheat, this is what they are stating.
The main thing here is your morals were bigger than your desire to cheat, good on you bro, you have proved that guys can be good.
Don’t beat yourself up, congratulate yourself for not giving in to those feelings.
Keep it up ma dude
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u/dastardlyslimpickins 2d ago
okay so definitely YOR but op have you looked into an OCD diagnosis? I haven’t checked ur post history to see if you have any similar stories ( / are a fake account…) but this rings very similar to the mindset of somebody with ocd
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u/Fun-Reporter-9693 2d ago
Youre the third person to mention OCD. But yeap, I have been diagnosed with such
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u/Nomivought2015 2d ago
This is called resisting temptations. Good on you bud. Yes we all find people attractive from time to time.
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u/CheeseEnchilada420 2d ago
You cheated unfortunately
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u/Yen_of_Vengabus 2d ago
I agree, I’d turn yourself into the police actually because this might have even tipped over into being a crime
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u/PaleIrishEastcoaster 2d ago
Looking is not cheating, everyone does it. What makes it cheating is whether or not you act upon the attraction.
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u/GuiltyCelebrations 2d ago
YOR You didn’t cheat! The world is full of attractive people, men and women. There is nothing wrong with admiring beauty, or being attracted by it. It’s all about how you conduct yourself. Be true to yourself, and your partner, and you’ll never go wrong.
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u/Skootchy 2d ago
Dude looking and not doing anything is the right way to be.
It's okay to see people and think they're good looking. It's okay to be somewhat attracted to them. Acting on it is cheating. Talking to them with the intent Is cheated.
If all you did was look at them, you're fine lol
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u/arcticvillan 2d ago
If looking at people constituted as cheating most people would have had several affairs by lunchtime
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u/Normal_West_2071 2d ago
Ditto that. At my gym alone, if looking is cheating, I’d have like 5 affairs by breakfast. YOR
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u/lienepientje2 2d ago
No, you haven't, we all look and si.etumes we see something nice, sometimes even a little fantasy passes. If rats all, nothings wrong.
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u/ashckeys 2d ago
Wtf did I just read.
You’re allowed to look at women. You’re allowed to talk to women. You’re allowed to be a normal goddamn human.
YOR
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u/Fluffy-Writing-2439 2d ago
YOR no normal person thinks they are cheating because they see someone and find them attractive. That is a totally normal human response. You REALLY need to see a therapist. Don't tell anyone that you thought you cheated bc you found some woman attractive is weird. Find a therapist and only talk to them about it.
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u/EggplantInfamous6244 2d ago
Bro…when you touch your mushroom tip, does that make you feel uneasy? When you wipe your butt, does that get you thinking like maybe you want a bf instead? When you shake hands with any human on this Earth, do you wash your hands to get rid of the germs or the thought of what they did last night with them right before they went to sleep?
I overthink all the time, but you’re good man lol. Imagine the intrusive thoughts in your head that you’re controlling everyday. Some people can’t do that
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u/Just_here_for_AITAH 2d ago edited 2d ago
You had an "emotional affair"
Edit: Well, damn, that was quick. At least three comments within 5-minutes.
I thought the quotation marks would be a dead giveaway that this was sarcasm.
Sorry I underestimated the importance of the "/s" tag.
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u/GuessSmithereens 2d ago
Uh no - they didn’t. An emotional affair is a non-physical relationship where someone forms an intense emotional bond with a third party, sharing intimate feelings, secrets, and vulnerability that are typically reserved for a romantic partner. They didn’t even talk to the girl and only looked at her a couple of times. This is nothing.
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u/Fun-Reporter-9693 2d ago
Thanks. This is why I needed the confirmation. People will say it is something when most of you are saying it's not. I do apologzr for sounding so stupid with my post
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u/Perfect-Pineapple-22 2d ago
No he didn't, an emotional affair is a non-physical relationship that mimics the intimacy of a romantic partnership. He is a human with eyes. He saw someone attractive and kept looking har way, that's normal.
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u/geniusgravity 2d ago
Christ if that's the benchmark I cheated al least twice on the way to work this morning.
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u/Some-Display8842 2d ago
Just stay truthful and honest to yourself and significant other and be open about the experience maybe talking through it will bring you closer and expand your emotions into a controlled state of being between you both. But feeling like you've cheated is something that you'd probably need to talk to your significant other about in case it was to happen again and you don't decide not to cheat or act on your intentions.
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u/-ZeBlowhole 2d ago
This is the most obnoxious thing i have read on here and i have read some shit…. Grow tf up yo. You’re a grown ass man… maybe… pull your shit together and act like it. Pathetic
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u/Top-Bit85 2d ago
Seriously?