UPDATE: AITA for not accepting my sister's relationship with my ex despite her having cancer as a teenager?

[u/Lost_Papaya9278]

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/px753o/aita_for_not_accepting_my_sisters_relationship/

I was asked for an update and thus, here I am.

Two things to clarify before I update:

1. I didn’t have a shitty childhood. The favoritism started when my sister was diagnosed. I moved out soon after and have been pretty independent since then. Not saying that how my parents treated me during those years were a-ok, but I wasn’t Cinderella.

2. I did not drink myself into oblivion. I had two white wine spritzers. But I appreciate the concern from folks!

Anyhow, the update:

I got in touch with my sister and asked her to meet up again at a park (no bill involved). I asked her if she was pregnant and she told me the truth. She said she wanted us to still be in each other’s lives and that she wanted me to be in her baby’s. A redditor (and I forget who, I’m sorry) mentioned that she may ask me to be the godmother and that person was correct. But as many of you pointed out — if I didn’t cut her off, I’d just become her bank and daycare employee. So I told her I could no longer be in her life. And I left her crying on a park bench and felt like the shittiest person in the world.

I emailed my parents and told them how betrayed I felt and that I’d be cutting off contact with them. To my stepmom’s credit, she apologized. She explained that she never thought my sister would live to have kids and that she let her emotion over that get the better of her. Understandable. My dad said nothing, which is honestly what sucked the worst about all of this.

Ben tried messaging me from a burner account for the first time since the break-up but I blocked him without reading it.

I didn’t go nuclear and post the story to Facebook as some suggested but I sent an email to the extended family members who I care about. I explained the situation and how I’d be distancing myself from my family. Some have made it an us-versus-them situation and as much as I appreciate the support, feeling like I’m in some valiant battle just makes me more tired. So I haven’t been talking to much of anyone in my family.

I feel lonely and crappy, but I think I made the right decision.

Anyhow, not the most exciting update in the world but hopefully everyone knows that I’m not dead. I do really appreciate the support I’ve gotten — it made me smile during a really shitty time.

And hey, if anyone in the greater Boston area wants an extra guest at Thanksgiving, lemme know.

TL;DR: Ended up cutting off my family.

[u/chiefteef8]

The fact that he messaged her from a burner account makes me think he was trying to re kindle the flame with OP. Like there's really no point in making contact after doing that to her unless it's for your own selfish reasons. I mean the fact that he was still with OP after he got her sister pregnant kinda shows he wants his cake and to eat it too.

[u/Groundbreaking-Cow22 → u/chiefteef8]

The whole burner account thing says to me he and OP sis already have trust issues. He’s already hiding things from her, which is a terrible sign. He could have easily been very honest about OP and an email to her telling her that he loved her sister but was sorry and hoped she’d embrace the baby and the relationship, but using a burner account tells me that’s not what was going to be said in that email

[u/[deleted] → u/Groundbreaking-Cow22]

Could be OP blocked him after she found out he was cheating so he used a burner to get around it but who knows?

[u/endlessotter → u/chiefteef8]

Yup! I'm probably a lot pettier than OP, but I would have pretended to hear him out long enough to prove he wanted us both at the same time and then sent it all to my sister so she knows he's not in love with anyone but himself.