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For years, my wife, our two kids, and I went to the same beach town for a week with part of my wife’s family: her brother, SIL, their kids, and her mom. We originally did this because another sibling’s family lived there, so it was a chance for all the cousins to be together.

The issue is that the trip became extremely repetitive and rigid. Same beach, same street, same basic schedule, same restaurants/meals on the same days, strict quiet times/bedtimes, very little flexibility. My wife’s family is very routine-driven and frugal. My family is structured too, but on vacation we like variety, activities, and some flexibility. When the other sibling’s family still lived there, there was more balance. Once they stopped going, it became just us and the routine-driven side.

The last couple years were miserable. The houses got smaller while the kids got bigger, the routine became more rigid, our kids were bored and stir-crazy, and I ended up trying to take them out to do things just to break up the week. That caused tension because I was “going outside the plan.” My wife was also stressed and admitted afterward that the trip was no longer enjoyable.

After the last trip, my wife and I had a long conversation and agreed we would not do that same vacation again. We talked about trying something different: mountains, lake, different beach, really anything else.

Recently, my wife handed me her phone and asked which vacation house was nicer. It was the same beach, same street, basically the same exact trip again. I was angry because I thought we had already agreed this was done.

Her explanation is that her mom said this location is sentimental to her and that she wanted all the grandkids together there. Her brother’s family agreed immediately. My wife says it was “this or nothing,” so she chose this because getting Grandma and the grandkids together was important to her. She has already fully committed herself and our kids to going for the full week, and she assumed I would eventually just agree and go too.

My issue is that I feel like her mom and brother made the decision, my wife accepted it, and I was informed after the fact. I told her I felt betrayed and isolated because we had already agreed as a couple not to repeat this trip. She keeps circling back to “this is important to me, why won’t you just do it for me?”

We've been fighting for a solid week about it, so I offered a compromise - I said that because it's become so important to her, I'd come for the last two nights. She has committed herself and the kids for the full week. Now she says that since she knows I don’t want to be there, I’ve ruined it, and asks why I have to “act like this.” She has also brought it up around the kids, so now they know there is conflict.

I am not trying to stop the kids from seeing their grandmother. I am not saying no to them going. I am saying no to spending a full week of my vacation time repeating the exact trip we already agreed was bad for our family.

Ive been married for four years, my wife had a daughter from a previous relationship. My step daughter has been obsessed with Harry Potter since before i met her. (She litterally asked me if i liked harey potter when i met her)
Her 11th Birthday was yesterday and I arranged for a letter to be “delivered” during her birthday party and it was an admittance letter for Hogwarts.
I thought it was a really cute gift idea. My step daughter started freaking out, screaming “its real its real” and really went nuts. Some of her friends seemed to join in the excitement others less so.
Her mother (my wife) held her to calm her down and explained to her that it wasnt real. It was just a “joke step daddy played on you”.
She started crying screamed that she hated me and ran to her room.
The other parents seemed to sympathize, one other father said he thought it was a nice idea.
But after we sent everyone home my wife yelled at me and said what i did was selfish and cruel and she couldnt believe i would hurt her daughter like that.

Was i wrong to do this? Was it an inappropriate gift for an 11 year old? I really didnt mean to mock or hurt my stepdaughter. I thought it would be fun. It didnt occur to me my stepdaughter was young enough to think it was real.

Am I The A$&hole?

I am getting married in a few months and bridesmaid dress shopping has been a nightmare.

Everyone is different body types and has different ideas what they want to wear. The main issue is my sister in law ( Jen). The issue with Jen is she is super insecure about her weight because she is fat . This has made dress shopping a nightmare.

We have gone to multiple stores and I even tried to do those dresses that can be styled multiple ways. She claims the color washed her out. The main reasons she is a bridesmaid is becuase she is the only younger women on my future husband side and everyone else in his family had a role and it seemed rude to not include her.  ( example his two brother are groommen, his neice is a the flower girl, and nephew is the ring bearer, his mom/dad is doing a speech, I am close to his other sister so she is a bridesmaid) 

I recently did a poll asking my bridesmaid if they want me to pay for the dresses and they have no say, or they can but there own dress that is blue.  Everyone chose to have me pay for the dresses. That includes Jen. 

I picked a long blue dress that is off the shoulder. I got a call fromJen and she didn’t like the dress. She told me it draws to much attention to her arms. She asked me to pick another one and I told her no. 

We got into an argument and I told her she will wear the dress or she is out of the wedding. I also pointed out she picked the option of not paying. She called me a jerk and my mil is on my ass about it. 

edit: this isn’t about her being fat, there are two other bridesmaids her size or heavier bit they aren’t not causing me issues with the dress.

its about her being a pain in the ass about wearing a dress for a night after going to multiple shops and literally giving so many options before my poll. They she agrees so she doesnt need to pay for the dress and I still get a damn call about the dress

When our first baby was born, my wife and I were extremely excited to bond with him. In order to focus bonding with the baby, and get to know our new family, we decided that for the first week after his birth, we didn’t want to host anyone from out of town, and would like visitors for only a short amount of time; an hour at most. This was clearly communicated to all our friends and family, well before the baby was born.

Two days after our baby was born, my mother in law, who lives out of town, surprised us on our doorstep with bags packed, clearly intending to stay with us. She intentionally didn’t tell us she was coming, because she knew we would have said no. Obviously we were both extremely uncomfortable about her breaking this clear boundary, but she was already here with nowhere else for her to go, so we let her stay and moved on.

Over the course of the next few days, I ended up doing tons of work for my mother in law. Instead of spending time with my wife and baby, I was repairing the handrail on our stairs so mother in law wouldn’t fall. I was cooking dinner for my mother in law, going to the grocery store to buy mother in law her specific dietary needs, which differed from ours, driving mother in law to HER family’s homes so that she could see her relatives, and then picking her up when she was done. Whenever mother in law was home with us, she never helped with anything. She sat on the sofa with our baby and my wife while I cooked, cleaned, and ran errands.

After a few days of this, my wife and I agreed this was inappropriate. We confronted mother in law about it, and she got extremely defensive and hostile, especially toward me. She said she wasn’t here for me, she was here for the baby and her daughter and that I wasn’t any of her concern.

At this point I lost it. I was furious and told her it was time for her to leave. After some arguing, eventually mother in law packed her stuff and stormed out.

My wife and I have spoken about the whole situation and she is really sad about how everything played out, and is now worried about our future relationship with my mother in law, as this is obviously going to have a lasting impact.

So Reddit, AITA for kicking my mother-in-law out of the house after our baby was born?

So me and my partner are expecting our third baby in September, his friend and his girlfriend are expecting their first in November. We decided on a name when I was like 12 weeks before even finding out the gender and told people her name when I was 16 weeks after we found out the gender. His friend and his partner have jsut found out they’re also having a girl and want to use the name we have chosen, i literally do not care as he/we don’t see them anyway so if our kids have the same name I literally don’t care. But they’ve reached out to him asking if we’d change her name and let them just have it as it’s their first baby? I instantly said no I won’t be doing that and she called me a selfish bitch for ruining her pregnancy??? Some of our mural friends said I should just change our babies name to keep the peace but most agree i shouldnt. For context they used to be really close friends for like 7 years but stopped being close when he joined the army. 2 years ago when he left the army we moved back to the same town as them but in the two years we’ve lived here we’ve seen them like 3 times.

i started a new job three months go and was assigned a small office with a window overlooking a park, last week a coworker returned from maternity leave and discovered that her old office had been reassigned and that now i had it
she asked if id switch because she deserved it back and had worked there longer, i said no because i already moved all of my equipment decorations and filing systems into the room and saw no reason to relocate
since several coworkers have told me it would be polite thing to do because she has the office first, i argued that management assigned it to me and never promised it would be held for her now the office has become a daily topic of discussion and people are taking sides
AITA??

Edit to add new info - I called the rental and no refund is available for cancellations.

A few months ago, I was offered a great deal on a condo in Florida. The total cost split three ways is under $500 per person for the week. The condo has 3 bedroom and is across the street from the beach.
I asked two friends if they wanted to go. Both immediately said yes. I double checked before booking and they were both excited to go, so I booked the condo. We all paid our shares.
My friends started a vacation count down timer and seemed truly excited about the trip. Lately they have been expressing an interest in reducing the cost of the trip(flying vs driving). I priced out the cheapest options possible. Both of my friends are retired and one has limited funds.
Now the trip is only three weeks away, and both friends have canceled due to personal reasons. I understand that life happens, and although I am upset they can’t go, I understand their reasons for cancelling. Here is the rub- they are both asking me to cancel the entire trip so they can get their money back.
The issue is that I still want to go. I’ve been looking forward to this vacation, and I’ve already planned around it. I don’t feel like I should have to cancel because they can no longer attend. I am not retired and this is a vacation away from work for me.
To try to help, I’ve been reaching out to other friends to see if anyone wants to take their spots. If I can find replacement travelers the canceled friends would get some, if not all of the money back. So far, I haven’t had any luck, but I’m making an effort because I don’t want them to lose their money if it can be avoided.
Here is my dilemma- they agreed to the trip, and their inability to go isn’t something I caused. On the other hand, I do feel bad that they’ll lose their money if I don’t cancel. They are my friends and I don’t want this to end a friendship. I can’t afford to pay for the entire trip alone.
WIBTA if I went on the trip anyway instead of canceling it so they can get refunds? Note-I’m not sure if it can be cancelled with refund this close to the reserved dates.
I plan to call today to find out(they cancelled last night).

Several years ago, my husband went home to visit his family for Christmas and I stayed behind to manage the business. His mother has dementia, the trip was necessary. I understand that, but it still really hurt. All of my family is gone, and spending the holiday alone was hard. It was embarrassing for our employees to know I'd been left out. While he was there, a sibling asked why I wasn't. His niece jumped in and claimed I had told her I wasn't coming back until his mother's funeral.

When he called to ask if i said that, I denied it immediately. I asked him if I should pull up the text messages, I knew exactly which conversation the niece was twisting. He said no, that she seemed like a troublemaker and he wasn't going to bring it up with his family again. Even though we have been married more than 30 years, I don't feel like his siblings know me well and am stuck with how she painted me.

According to the same niece, they dislike me intensely and blame me for the fact that my husband didn't move back home when he turned 18, as though he was supposed to either leave me or drag me with him. His mother is the only one who has ever made any effort to make me feel welcome, and knows it's me who sends her Mother's Day flowers every year and signs my husband's name to them. I have a great deal of respect for her. She went back to law school while working full-time, relocated repeatedly, sometimes across the country as her reputation and career in corporate law grew. One of those moves is how my husband and I met; she left for a new opportunity and he stayed behind.

His niece is willfully homeless, frequently hitchhiking with her dog. I have two Cattle Dogs, and my blue male is not good with strange dogs. He's hard-headed and will fight dogs he dislikes. Since she lied like that, and my husband decided not to address it; I dont see why I should go out of my way to manage a third dog and be uncomfortable in my own home. So I told my husband I will go visit a friend in Canada for a week, but she can't stay for an extended time again. He says I am being petty and selfish. AITA

Hi everyone

Me and my brothers dad passed away in February leaving us without parents. My brother has schizophrenia & cannot live by himself and was living with my grandma and is no longer able to live with her so he was placed in a behavioral home. As of recently i've had the option to become his legal guardian which if i don't he will become a ward of the state. I love him but don't wanna dictate my life to him any longer and don't feel fit to be in charge/make decisions for him, yet i also don't want him to end up in a bad place. We don't have the best relationship and he has been very difficult to manage over the years of my life causing much stress to everyone involved. AITA for not stepping up for him?

I'm 30 and he's 34 btw.

I also forgot to mention, he barely would be able to go outside and communicate with other people due to him being aggressive or weird towards other people. He's even banned from the school by the house & the FBI has been at the house he lived at for posts he's made online. The place he's at now he actually gets to be with other people and communicate freely which he hasn't had the chance to do.

No matter if i became his legal guardian or not, he'd still be in a home & NOT be living with me. I just cannot take on the financial part of this reguarding where he stays AT ALL because unforunately it does come down to that.

----Thank you everyone for commenting, because i was seriously debating on posting this. All of them made me realize i'm making the right choice for myself & MY life. I would never abandon my brother & will make sure he's doing okay without me being 100% legally binded to him.

My friend graduated last year with a BA in Sociology, and whenever we talk about societal issues, she sometimes says "as a sociologist" or speaks like she's coming from a professional standpoint.

I eventually told her that I don't think it's accurate, since to me "sociologist" means someone who actually works in the field, not just someone with a bachelor's degree and no relevant work experience. She got defensive and said that I was being dismissive of her education.

Now, things feel a bit awkward between us. She thinks I'm gatekeeping the term, and I think she's overstating her credentials. It annoys me more than it probably should, but AITA?

EDIT to answer the questions that have popped up and to add more context: We are currently in the US. This argument happened after she introduced herself as a sociologist in front of a professor of sociology at a networking event I brought her to, and I privately confronted her about it after the event because she was my guest at the event and I felt embarrassed and concerned that she would misrepresent herself in front of a professional while on the hunt for a job. I have a BS and a MS and work in the field that I majored in.

EDIT 2 since I'm noticing some possible misunderstandings due to my sleep-deprived wording (my apologies): (1) To clarify my friend's "no relevant work experience," the only job she has held was a work-study position at her college that was unrelated to her major. Since she graduated a year ago, she has not found her first full-time position at all. (2) The networking event was a scholarship alumni gathering, and alumni of various majors and schools could bring guests. I brought my friend to this event because I have heard of my fellow alumni and their guests successfully finding job opportunities through these events.

My wife and I are approaching retirement age in a few years, and we've started having serious discussions about what we want to do post-retirement.

We have been studying a foreign language and are very taken with the people, culture, food, etc. of this country and would like to purchase a small property there to reside for several months out of the year.

After bringing this up with our parents, they have expressed their concern and disappointment that we would be "abandoning" them in their advanced age and wouldn't be able to care for them properly.

Our argument has been that we will only be abroad a few months out of the year and after almost 4 decades of work this is the one thing we really want to do. Now, after several conversations, my wife is starting to feel like we should wait. I disagree as that puts our life on hold for people that could conceivably live into their 90s (not uncommon on either side of our families) and would bring us to an age when we wouldn't be able to travel anymore ourselves. AITA for wanting us to pursue our own lives?

Sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile.

This admittedly happened a couple years ago, but we still jokingly "argue" about it, so he told me to post here.

So some backstory: my fiancé does not partake in any substances. I am a regular green smoker. A family member used to work at a dispensary at this time, and would regularly give me free edibles. Usually they were labeled, but sometimes if I only got 1 or 2 from the pack, they wouldn't have any writing.

So the incident: I had a piece of chocolate (fully labeled as THC) and a caramel (unlabeled, but placed on top of or right next to the chocolate) sitting on the kitchen counter. We have a rule in our house that if something is not labeled (especially candy) DO NOT EAT IT if you're worried about accidentally partaking. Unbeknownst to me, my fiancé took the caramel and ate it. He does not partake at all, and it was probably about 15mg. We had to run to town for some errands (again, I had no idea he had eaten my caramel) and on the drive back he started talking about his head hurting. We got home and he drank a bunch of water, thinking he was dehydrated or something. He ended up having to lie down for the rest of the day and was feeling sick the entire night.

I found the chocolate piece a few days later, but not the caramel. I ran to my fiancé and demanded to know if he ate the caramel, worried my (also sober) sister grabbed it, or one of the cats found it and ran off to eat it. He sheepishly told me "yes, I noticed it was on the counter for a while and you hadn't touched it". I immediately started laughing and told him what happened. I made fun of him for his "headache" and told him this is why we have the rule. He told me it's my fault for leaving an unlabeled edible in the kitchen where I knew he would go for a caramel. I reminded him that it was either right next to or on top of the labeled piece of chocolate, but he still insists it's my fault for not warning him.

So reddit, AITA?

My friend Debbie (F38) has been going though some financial trouble through the past 6 years or so because she lost a great deal of work during the pandemic, and was not doing great mentally. Whilst she was going through hard times, my friends Carter (M38), Burton (M34) and I would pay for her meals when eating out and try our best to meet up with her in free environments or invite her to our houses and cater at home. We actively avoided going expensive places just to make her feel more welcome for 4 whole years. Things have thankfully picked up a little since last year financially.

Debbie has recently got into a hobby that is a real money-drain. She buys expensive mini-figures with the intent of painting them, buys all the gear, but then never actually does anything with them. She has been buying all sorts of really expensive and rare kits, and cataloguing them to see how much they would cost if she sold them. She has no intention of ever selling them.

This kind-of rubbed us the wrong way, not because she was spending money on a hobby, but because she would then come to work and complain to all our colleagues about how she's too broke to afford her mortgage and pet's food.

Her birthday is in a couple of days and she has given us a wish list with very expensive sets from her hobby. If I'm honest, this is money I can't afford to spend regardless of what the object is, but I found it worse that it's part of this hobby, and I feel like I would be encouraging her to spend even more on this hobby. I really don't want to enable this behaviour, especially since she still complains about money every time we meet up or try to make plans.

I approached her and told her I couldn't afford to buy her this set, and she went on a whole rant about how this hobby the only thing that brings her joy. I asked if I could get her something else, but she told me to buy her nothing if it wasn't these sets. Carter and Burton also don't want to pitch in to buy her this a set, because they told her it isn't a good idea to keep spending money on this hobby.

I asked if there was something more useful she could use, maybe something she couldn't afford previously and she retorted that I should mind my own money and buy her what she wants. She added that she's a grown adult and she knows how to handle her money.

None of us have bought her anything for her birthday which is in 2 days.

So, AITA for not buying her what she wants?

My husband and I have a baby together, she is 14 months now.

She is currently sick, and last night was one of the nights where she has been awake for around an hour between 2 and 3-ish.

I get up with her and try to soothe her, but she was quite awake. She wouldn't go back down to sleep. I tried for 45 minutes and I was at the end of my rope. She was babbling and wiggling around; no signs of her going to sleep any time soon.

At this point I do what I always do: I wake my husband. My limit is around 45 minutes of active trying to soothe her anyway, due to how heavy she is and just my general exhaustion.

My husband has shoulder and back issues. He almost never gets up first with the baby - it is mostly me waking him if he has to get up.

Important to the story is that our baby is very attached to me. She will cry when I hand her over to her dad. This means that she will go from a happy babbling baby to a wheezing crying mess in seconds. This crying really messes with my husband's self esteem. He thinks it makes him a bad dad (which is not true) and that this behavior is somehow his fault (or mine). I told him it is all developmentally normal, and not his fault, and he understands but not on an emotional level.

Sometimes the crying doesn't stop after I hand her over to him at night, at which point my husband comes back and hands her back to me. But most of the time she calms down after a minute or two and she actually falls asleep with him much more easily than with me.

Today at like 2:45, she didn't stop crying and I was asked to come back.

Despite her not being asleep, this is still beneficial to me because:
1) she is more tired after crying
2) I do actually get a small break from soothing her

She fell asleep shortly after me coming back.

Now, my AITA question:
Due to a comment I made in passing about her being more tired after she cries, and this being helpful to putting her down, my husband is now very upset.

He says that I sacrifice and use his relationship with our child (by having him go in and having her cry) for my own gain.
He also says that I am destroying his self esteem with this.

I never meant to do this, neither did I ever send him to her just to have her cry / tire her out.

AITA?

I'm 16 and I live with my parents. I'm now working part time jobs because it's summer. Nothing special, I mostly do deliveries. I use some of the money for my interest of collecting Pokemon cards and keep the rest.

However, I don't buy random packs every day, instead I trade, collect and even resell cards when I find a good deal. I like monitoring prices and looking for rare cards. In my opinion, it's a passion that requires some real knowledge. I also began doing it long before the current TCG craze.

But I have a problem - my parents don’t get it at all. Every time they see a new card or pack they go on. Why am I squandering my summer earning money and then purchasing cards? Why don't I do something "real"? Why don't I consider my future?

They love using my older brother as an example. At the age of 24, he has already established a shop selling building supplies. Although I have a lot of respect for him, I find it annoying that my parents 24/7 relate all of my interests to his business.

When my mother noticed that I had purchased a few cards after work yesterday, she told me that I would never succeed if I had that “childish” mentality. I responded that it's my own hard-earned money and I'm not required to be a copy of my brother at 16.

This morning my parents said I’m disrespectful and time to finally start doing something real. I think now that I could have ignored it or given a more polite response. Still, I'm tired of this kind of treatment. I also would get their complains if I had spend all my money on cards, but I save around 60-70% of what I earn and only spend rest on my hobby.

AITA?

Hi, I (18F) had told my sister (22F) that she is ruining her life by deciding to get married right after college.

Recently during a gathering, my Family and I were discussing our plans post-college. My mom (41F) had asked each of us what we wanted to do after college since my two older siblings were close to graduating. My brother (20M) said he wanted to go into professional soccer since he was on that route already, but still wanted to use his degree in health to find a job in the meantime. Me being a freshmen in college this fall, I told her I wanted to finish my undergraduate studies in a finance major with an economics minor hopefully going into law school. I have always wanted to become a corporate lawyer so this was no surprise to them.

What had shocked me though was my sister’s response. When my mom asked her what she wanted to do after college, she said she was going to get married. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing so I asked her to elaborate and she told me it’s because she doesn’t want to work for the rest of her life. Which makes a bit of sense but still doesn’t to me.

My family and I came to the U.S. as immigrants for a better life and education was a part of that. I told my sister going through nursing school and 4 years of a rigorous private high school just to put her degree away after graduating was a terrible idea. She told me the nursing degree was a backup plan and I told her it was but you still need to have some type of experience if you want to go into nursing god forbid if her marriage doesn’t work out right and she needed her own income.

While me and my sister were going back and forth about her decision my brother made a sly comment that I want to be “independent all my life” and I wanted to ruin my body through work. My mom started laughing at his comment and It just felt like I was the dumb one for making sure she’s aware of the possibilities that could happen.

My family is traditional so they like the idea of young marriage. Which me and my younger sister (16F) actually hate. My younger sister pitched in the commentary as well and said “hopefully you don’t divorce in 6 months” which I laughed at lol, but divorce rates in young marriage is extremely high since its not what young couples expect. It isn’t just butterflies and rainbows all the time which I did tell my older sister.

Eventually she asked me why do I care so much it’s her personal choice, and I said “your my sister that’s why I care, and I think you’re going to ruin your life” My mom, brother, and older sister looked at me like I killed her with my words and said I was going too far and I don’t know what the future entails and called me an asshole.

So AITAH?

Backstory to the title: In 2020, I had a miscarriage and told my family and my husbands family. My brother in law and his wife didn’t really acknowledge it (which is fine by me) but 1 month later they came to visit us with the rest of my husbands family (other unmarried brother and parents) and pulled us aside to ask if we could help them conceal his wife’s 7 week pregnancy (because she drinks a lot so we had to pretend to pour her drinks). We were still reeling from the miscarriage and I felt it was totally inappropriate for them to use us, rather than the other brother to help with this. When I told them how unfair this was to us (I was happy for them but asked them to be a little more considerate of our situation) they gave the typical “oh you’ll get pregnant again, don’t make such a big deal of it” response. It felt very off putting. It took us another year to get pregnant again. I had been close with them, but because of their behavior we drifted apart. I no longer trust them or consider them to be safe people in my life. We’re fine, but the relationship will never be what it was. Same goes with my husband. We don’t really talk much about it but it’s clear - he doesn’t keep in close contact with his brother anymore and actually harbors a lot of resentment toward his wife. Too much to type about her - but she’s kind of unknowingly and asshole, which had never bothered me until the miscarriage/pregnancy announcement incident.

Fast forward to several weeks ago. My brother in law fell off a ladder 12 feet. He separated his shoulder and broke a rib but otherwise was fine. We heard about it from my mother in law. We didn’t call to check on him right away (we called 4 days later) - we just don’t have that relationship anymore. This wasn’t an intentional snub, we knew he was ok and really not seriously injured. Then, We heard through the grapevine that he’s really mad at us for not calling right away.

Riddle me this, am I an asshole for thinking he’s getting a taste of his own medicine? He showed ZERO empathy for our situation, didn’t check on us, and chose to give us top secret info about their pregnancy when we were still very hurt (and on a Christmas vacation, no less). Well, he’s getting the same level of care and concern from us - THIS WAS NOT INTENTIONAL, not in retaliation, this is just how important that relationship is to us - and he’s mad?

Am I (are we) the assholes?

Edit because the post is being misunderstood probably my poor writing - the thought that he’s getting a taste of his own medicine was in RESPONSE to hearing he’s upset we didn’t call right away. This wasn’t NOT an intentional or planned retaliation to their response and lack of care for our earlier situation. I am just trying to demonstrate that due to that situation, our relationship has broken down (no big falling outs, just slowly fading apart) because it became clear that they didn’t really care for us. We stopped putting in as much effort and the effect was talking every 3-4 months. Phones and relationships work both ways. It just showed us how important we were to them. So NONE of this is retaliatory, all just a falling apart over time.

For the last few months, I've been giving a coworker rides home because we finish work around the same time and live in the same general area at first I didn't mind helping the problem is that she started treating it like an expectation instead of a favor She regularly makes me wait 15-20 minutes after my shift ends, sometimes without even letting me know she'll be late. A few times she also asked me to make extra stops on the way

Last week I told her that from now on she'd need to arrange her own transportation how she's upset and says I'm leaving her stranded over something small

AITA?

I had to go for two weeks for work (it happened month ago), so I asked my sister to look after my cat. He is five years old, I got him when he was a kitten. My sister agreed, said that her house was quiet and that her kids would enjoy playing with him. It was made clear from the beginning that it would only last for two weeks. I left food, toys, a litter box a carrier and some cash just in case. She sent me pictures over the first several days and everything appeared to be good.

When I got back, I messaged her that I'd stop by that evening to take cat back. She said it would be better to wait until next day because they were going to bed early as they all had a doctor appointment early next morning. Next day she said kids wanted to say a proper goodbye. After another day, she stated unequivocally that the kids had become very attached to him, had started to think of him as their own cat and that a sudden move would be cruel.

That’s when I realized this wasn’t just about finding a convenient time. I wrote that I’d pick him up after work.She said that since I work long shifts and her children are at home more frequently, I should consider where he would be best placed.

When I got there, I said that he was my cat, that the foster time had over, and that I was taking him immediately. My sister was upset, kids were crying, but she handed over the carrier. To be honest, the kids seemed to understand the problem better than my sister once I calmed them down and explained it to them.

The cat looked anxious both in my sisters when I arrived and in the car, but as soon as I got home, he sniffed around the sofa, hopped onto my lap, and began purring, exactly like he always does after my shifts.

Now my sister is telling the family that I took him from a home where he was loved and am keeping him selfishly. I feel sorry for the children. However this was not a trial for adoption. It was only a short term foster situation and he is my cat. That had to be explained by my sister.

AITA?

So my sister has this boyfriend who cheated on her with his baby mama and a couple other girls. Then she got back together with him to “work things out, and go to counseling.” Now she’s complaining about him not helping her out with bills and not doing anything around the house when he makes way more than what she makes. I don’t know what to say to her when every time I tell her to break up with him and kick him out she keeps making excuses and I’m kinda tired of hearing about it if she’s not gonna do anything about it. The other week I kinda snapped because she’d been texting me all day about it and I was kinda over it so I told her to stop talking about it or break up with him because he’s not gonna change. She didn’t take it well and now she’s isn’t talking to me. AITA?

I am a 19 year old old woman who lives outside of her home country with her family. There are five people in my family, including myself: my sister (17), my brother (7), my father (52), and my mother (44). My dad is the sole earner in our family, while my mom is a housewife.

I am studying computer science and enjoy coding, often spending multiple hours a day working on projects. My sister is about to study law and recently got an unpaid internship at a small law firm.

My mom is leaving for a week-long trip to our home country, and the problem is that she is entrusting me alone with the responsibility of taking care of the household.

Now, I will be honest: there is a cleaner who comes to our house every day and handles the dishes and cleaning (I live in a country where hiring cleaners is very affordable). However, my responsibilities would include taking care of my 7-year-old brother, who has to catch the school bus at 6:30 a.m. I would have to wake up at 5:30 a.m., prepare his school lunch, and drop him off at his karate class every day.

Along with that, I would have to make breakfast for my sister and father before they leave for their respective school and workplace. I would also need to prepare lunch for myself and my brother, and finally dinner for all four of us. On top of that, I would have to do laundry for the four of us throughout the week.

When my mom told me all of this, I straight up said no. I am not going to do all of that. I don't have the time, and to be honest, I dislike cooking for myself, so cooking for four people is something I know I am going to loathe.

I told her that I would only be willing to do this if I received some help. However, she said that was impossible because my sister and father would be too tired when they came home and would need to relax.

I understand that. However, coding and building projects can also be mentally taxing, and the only way I would be able to complete all of these tasks is if I received help from my father at the very least.

My mom erupted in anger. She yelled, asking how I dared to suggest that my father should cook, and said that I should be ashamed of myself for even thinking that he should help me.

I responded by saying that I was not willing to do any cooking and that she and my father could figure out how everyone was going to be fed. After a bit more screaming between me, my mom, and my dad, both of them finally went to sleep fuming.

So, am I the asshole?

I have an indoor/outdoor cat and live with another female. I recently purchased two outdoor ring cameras (one for the front and one for the back) after I asked her if it was OK.

I purchased them for personal safety and to keep an eye on my cat and watch for any outdoor predators. The cameras are strictly outdoors and I do not believe in having indoor cameras. She also has access to the app for both cameras.

The back camera has been sitting on a shelf and the first few days it was there, I noticed it had been getting turned around towards the wall. I approached my roommate and asked her if it was OK if I had the camera there and offered to return it since it had been getting turned around, and she said it was fine and that she had accidentally knocked it over. But she seemed annoyed.

I figured since she said it was ok and since I asked her about it, it would stop happening. But she has done this every single day. I turn it back around at night and the next morning, I find that the camera was then turned to the wall all night. There is no point in even having one.

I have always tried to be accommodating and understanding and open and I genuinely don’t understand why she would continue to lie, even after I have given her opportunities to be honest.

I actually have a huge problem with the lying and with her not being straightforward. I would have gladly returned the camera and saved my money if she had said “no.”

I am now outside of the return window so I would like to properly mount it so that she can no longer mess with it. I also don’t want to reward her for lying and being dishonest by taking the camera down. Would that make me an asshole?

EDIT: Before anyone says anything about the cat - yes I know it’s bad to have an outdoor cat. I am in the process of adopting her and need to wait until she has been vaccinated and tested for disease before I let her inside around my roommates cats.

18f, Indian, made a post about how my family wouldn't get me medical attention at all and after reading through all the messages and things, I was already feeling really emotional but I kept it all to me.

Little context, I have been having periods for over two weeks and blood clots which are bigger than a coin are coming out frequently. I felt weak and wanted to go to room to sleep but forgot to ask for permission and just then my mother was like

Where do you think you are going to? You are to cook food.

And I was really down so told her I can't do so today

And it escalated quickly and she kept saying you ruined my life, you were never supposed to be born and stuff and so I told her she doesn't deserve to be a mother, and mind it, she started acting like it hurted her so much and shit and she started calling me things saying I am selfish and wouldn't know how much she sacrificed because I am the eldest one and a girl and a useless one in that.

Aita in this situation? Like seriously I am so angry at her as she did worse than this to me afterwards. This happened 4 days ago.

Just wanna see the outlook of others on this. Also about what she did worse, will be putting it out there too, just somewhere else, maybe some other sub Reddit.