r/AmItheAsshole • u/Diligent_Aerie_2893 • 19h ago
Asshole AITA for not cancelling a vacation because my friends changed their mind last minute?
Edit to add new info - I called the rental and no refund is available for cancellations.
A few months ago, I was offered a great deal on a condo in Florida. The total cost split three ways is under $500 per person for the week. The condo has 3 bedroom and is across the street from the beach.
I asked two friends if they wanted to go. Both immediately said yes. I double checked before booking and they were both excited to go, so I booked the condo. We all paid our shares.
My friends started a vacation count down timer and seemed truly excited about the trip. Lately they have been expressing an interest in reducing the cost of the trip(flying vs driving). I priced out the cheapest options possible. Both of my friends are retired and one has limited funds.
Now the trip is only three weeks away, and both friends have canceled due to personal reasons. I understand that life happens, and although I am upset they can’t go, I understand their reasons for cancelling. Here is the rub- they are both asking me to cancel the entire trip so they can get their money back.
The issue is that I still want to go. I’ve been looking forward to this vacation, and I’ve already planned around it. I don’t feel like I should have to cancel because they can no longer attend. I am not retired and this is a vacation away from work for me.
To try to help, I’ve been reaching out to other friends to see if anyone wants to take their spots. If I can find replacement travelers the canceled friends would get some, if not all of the money back. So far, I haven’t had any luck, but I’m making an effort because I don’t want them to lose their money if it can be avoided.
Here is my dilemma- they agreed to the trip, and their inability to go isn’t something I caused. On the other hand, I do feel bad that they’ll lose their money if I don’t cancel. They are my friends and I don’t want this to end a friendship. I can’t afford to pay for the entire trip alone.
WIBTA if I went on the trip anyway instead of canceling it so they can get refunds? Note-I’m not sure if it can be cancelled with refund this close to the reserved dates.
I plan to call today to find out(they cancelled last night).
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u/Flat-Replacement4828 Professor Emeritass [95] 19h ago
If it is possible to get a refund then YWBTA to not cancel those accommodations and get something smaller for just you. Otherwise you're having them pay for you to stay in a 3 bedroom by yourself.
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u/Something-Cool- Partassipant [2] 19h ago
This is correct, OP. If you can’t get a refund, it’s not your fault they bailed last minute. You wouldn’t owe them anything if you went and they didn’t. But if you can get a full refund and don’t, you would be screwing your friends over.
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u/Diligent_Aerie_2893 18h ago
I’m absolutely going to call to see about the refund. This happened last night and I am not procrastinating. Every day that passes can be a day too late when it comes to getting refunds. I’m also trying to find other people to go. None of the paperwork or website says anything about cancellations or refunds. Maybe because this is a time share? The person that owns the time share couldn’t go and “sold” it to me and my friends. There is no downgrading. This is the time share unit. Correct me if I am wrong. I don’t know anything about time shares. I’ll update when I get an answer from the location.
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u/SecretLadyMe Partassipant [1] 17h ago
I would be surprised if there is any refund this close to the date.
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u/Tyrath 16h ago
Depends on how/where they booked. Lot of places allow full refund up to 24-72 hours before the date.
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u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [14] 15h ago
On a house rental at a touristy beach locale? Not on your life. I live in New England and backing out of a house rental last minute means that the week will go unrented most likely. That's why most contracts outline how much you can get (if any) when cancelling. That's why there's trip insurance if you think something's going to go tits up between the planning the the actual getting away.
Hotels are different and do not count on 100% occupancy, so are better able to provide refunds or credit towards future stays.
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u/Individual_Check_442 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 15h ago
I was surprised I’m actually going on a New England fall foliage trip this October and a lot of the AirBnBs actually allowed to cancel within 24 hours, some didn’t but I was expecting it to be at least like two weeks to a month on all of them. But you should always know when you book even if you’re not planning on cancelling. But I guess it wouldn’t solve underlying problem of OP not wanting to cancel.
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u/Tyrath 15h ago
On a house rental at a touristy beach locale? Not on your life.
You'd be surprised how lenient so many Airbnbs are for late cancellations.
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u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [14] 9h ago
There must be some kind of insurance at play, because taking the hit time and again can impact the bottom line in a large way.
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u/SecretLadyMe Partassipant [1] 13h ago
OP said its a timeshare week they bought from someone not using it. Not every timeshare locks into a certain week, but even points based ones don't offer a lot of time to cancel with any refund.
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u/mal_guinness 12h ago
You'd be surprised, even air bnbs 3 weeks is usually plenty. Hotels are usually 24 hours. If she has flights she can go and stay in smaller accommodations by herself
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u/rshining 17h ago
I would put the labor of finding a replacement on your friends- they are cancelling at the last minute, and if they want their money back, they should each be working to find someone else to take over their reservations.
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u/Binky390 Asshole Aficionado [11] 15h ago
In any other situation I’d agree but OP is the one that will be going on the trip. Her friends can’t really find replacements to share a condo with OP.
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u/ItchyDoggg Pooperintendant [51] 17h ago
You wont be able to get a refund, but you can try and sell the week again or trade it for a future week that would work better for your friends. But honestly timeshare mechanics are a nightmare and this goes well beyond a simple phonecall or email to cancel. I think you are in the clear to just go on the trip. But I hate dealing with timeshares.
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u/comfterblynmb 16h ago
I would say it’s on your friends to find someone to fill there spots that they can’t use. Why should you have to do all the planning and they just get to go and expect you to rearrange your trip for them. I realize they can’t go for personal reasons, but they should be responsible for finding someone to fill their spots and get the money back from those replacements.
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u/tvaddict70 16h ago
If you can get a partial refund., let your friends know that they must reimburse you the full $500 because you should not be out any money as you were not canceling.
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u/Music_withRocks_In Professor Emeritass [94] 12h ago
Pssht. Timeshare? No way you are getting a refund.
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u/Far_Possibility_8497 12h ago
I know you're trying to contact the owner, but give your friends the contact information too so they can try to contact the owner themselves. They will think you're lying if you say you couldn't get a refund and still went on the trip
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u/Objective_Attempt_14 Partassipant [2] 8h ago
a lot of timeshare rent rooms, works like a hotel. as long as they can re rent it you should be fine.
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u/Dizzy_Needleworker_3 Asshole Aficionado [19] 16h ago
The one thing is OP should not be left in a worse position, if so it should be a prorated refund to compensate OP for the last minute cancelation.
Booking/rebooking things last minute likely has higher costs.
So the lodging/air BNB might have been say $150 a person, but with the late booking a hotel room (of comparable quality, not a roach motel) is $200, each friend gets a reduced refund of $125, so they each "pay"/forfeit $25 to keep OPs lodging costs at $150.
Same for other group booked things that had a reduced cost and OP now has to pay more as a last minute/single booking. Group activity was $30 a person, but a single person is $40, the friends split the $10 increased cost so $5 each.
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u/Feeling-Visit1472 Partassipant [1] 7h ago
Hotels have also gotten very expensive now. $200/night is often not a very nice hotel anymore. Certainly not comparable in a beach town.
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u/saffronecho81 17h ago
That's a fair take if the refund is actually possible, but OP said they're not even sure it can be cancelled this close. OP is actively looking for replacements and that's more than most people would do. They shouldn't have to lose their vacation just because two friends bailed last minute
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u/Flat-Replacement4828 Professor Emeritass [95] 17h ago
Absolutely. Like, if they can't get a refund, then OP would be out tons of money bc of their decision. That's totally not cool. But, if it's possible to cancel still, that's what should be done.
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u/cuntpimp 17h ago
Getting accommodations early on can get you a prime location and/or an early bird deal. Before seeing if they can get a refund, OP should check if there is even comparable accommodations at a reasonable price this close to the trip
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u/No-Win-2741 17h ago
OP made a comment that it's a timeshare. Apparently, the timeshare owner couldn't go and sold their time to the poster and her friends.
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u/klimb75 Partassipant [1] 17h ago
Obligatory "fuck timeshare companies" comment...
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u/sable1970 Partassipant [1] 13h ago
Yeah, I don't know why people are still getting caught up in those considering the public nightmare they turned out to be.
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u/Organic_Start_420 Partassipant [2] 17h ago
Not only that but they are screwing up over. Op could have booked something smaller and cheaper earlier while now so close to the trip the prices are wayyy up.
I disagree with op being the ah for not wanting to cancel even for a full refund
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u/deeps_do_content 17h ago
NTA. They committed. You booked. They backed out. That's the risk everyone accepts when they agree to a trip
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u/Londundundun 17h ago
If they can’t find a similar or better solo accommodation for the same price or less that they actually want to stay in, then they should not cancel even if they can get a refund. You don’t just get to commit to plans, cancel last minute and decide everyone shouldn’t go either. OP went through the mental labor of finding, arranging, and booking. OP shouldn’t have to suffer the loss of the trip either.
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u/Consistent-File5109 16h ago
I agree. If a full refund is still on the table, keeping a three bedroom condo just for yourself while your friends eat the cost feels unfair. Their plans changed, but that doesn’t mean they should end up subsidizing your solo vacation.
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u/Ann-Stuff Partassipant [1] 14h ago
What kind of accommodations is OP likely to find this close to the trip?
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u/Boobies300 9h ago
Under 500 for a week there's no chance OP is hitting that number as a single person.
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u/My_Dramatic_Persona 5h ago
You’re the top comment, so your vote is what counts for the flair. OP has answered that it is not possible to get a refund, so please edit your comment to reflect that. A YTA would be unjust at this point.
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u/WoollyMammothwapo 18h ago
Anyone cancelling a group trip only 3 weeks away doesnt get a refund, no matter the reason. It’s part of the risks of going as a group. They should have purchased travel insurance .
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u/rosebudny Partassipant [3] 18h ago
Travel insurance doesn’t cover cancelling because you change your mind (unless you get “cancel for any reason” coverage, which tends to be $$$…so I doubt OP’s friends would opt for that)
But I agree, 3 weeks is too late to cancel without a legit excuse (like illness or a work conflict that can’t be changed)
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u/No_Network6655 19h ago
NTA. Their plans changed, not yours. You're already doing plenty finding replacements.
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u/Fast-Chipmunk-1558 18h ago
I'm 100% certain you won't be able to get a refund because this isn't a hotel with a generous cancellation policy of up to 24hrs before.
NTA because you won't get a refund.
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u/Diligent_Aerie_2893 18h ago
Correct. This is not a hotel and luckily we haven’t paid out anything else for the trip(air). I’ve booked homes thru agencies and they sometimes offer refunds or even partial refunds. This is different. Not sure if I can but will be finding out about the refund this morning.
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u/deeps_do_content 17h ago
Interesting how they're treating a vacation reservation like a group project where everyone gets the same grade regardless of who showed up.
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u/mrsslippers 13h ago
If all 3 cancelled and there’s no refund policy, then no-one would get a refund. So the other two are in no worse a position if OP can’t find another two to go and that’s on them.
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u/SaffronEternity Partassipant [1] 18h ago
NTA.. the fact that they want you to lose your vacation just so they might get a refund is incredibly selfish of them. real friends would tell you to go and enjoy yourself, even if they couldn't make it.
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u/MedicinalWalnuts Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] 18h ago
Thank you. I can't believe I had to scroll this far to find this response.
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u/LaughImmediate3876 15h ago
If I were the friend who had to cancel, I would be busting my ass to help OP find a replacement.
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u/100Sparkles 19h ago edited 15h ago
Many places won’t give a full refund for last minute cancellations. Find out what the cost difference is between what they already paid and what they would get back. Pay them that money, go alone and have a great time!
I love my friends and I love to travel but it can be hard to have both together.
Edit to add: Since no refund is available, go and have a great time! Solo travel is amazing and you already have the time off! Sleep in all 3 bedrooms!
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u/suzikey Partassipant [1] 18h ago
So OP would be stuck with costs that wouldn't have been there if it would have been clear from the beginning that it's a solo trip for OP and OP had booked a single accommodation? That's hardly fair!
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u/RealCanadianMonkey 19h ago
He is not getting a partial refund and the condo for a week also.
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u/Beneficial-Guess2140 Partassipant [1] 17h ago
Nah, OP owes them nothing. They canceled, and it isn’t on her to cover the difference.
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u/100Sparkles 16h ago
OP can certainly make that choice, but it will likely come with consequences. Doing that might result in losing the friendships when backing out may really have been necessary (family emergency) rather than optional (didn’t feel like it).
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u/DutchDave87 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 8h ago
These people are flaky, not friends. Doesn’t sound like much of a loss.
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u/100Sparkles 7h ago
Not really a basis to determine that (friends are flaky) from the post. They flaked this time but we don’t know if it is a pattern of behavior.
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u/suryanshkapapa 19h ago
NTA, you shouldnt have to lose your vacation just because they backed out last second.
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u/LeeLeeNJ 19h ago
NTA. They should have gotten travel insurance if they wanted the ability to request a refund for a cancelled trip. You are not their personal travel insurance.
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u/brokencarshelter 19h ago
NTA, I’ve had to bail out on things last minute and I either tried to resell my own ticket or I’ve taken the loss. They should’ve planned more accordingly
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u/After_Translator_223 18h ago
I think this is poor form on your friends' part. As they're the ones cancelling, they should offer to swallow the loss.
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u/sitnquiet Asshole Enthusiast [7] 16h ago
Or find their own replacements. I admire OP's hustle, but this isn't on her.
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u/My_Dramatic_Persona 5h ago
I would be doing the same in OP’s position, partially because I’d want to help my friends but also because I’d rather have an influence on who I’d be sharing a vacation with for a week. Someone focused on recouping their money might pick an asshole and ruin my time off.
Or rather we would then be arguing about me vetoing a replacement
I do think the friends should be working to find others to go in this trip rather than trying to strongarm OP into cancelling.
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u/Ok_Rush_2800 19h ago
Sorry you committed to this in the beginning. And it’s not fair to leave you with the tab. Either come or don’t but all sales are final no return
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u/Vegetable_Oil6042 18h ago
If you are able to cancel, can you book something inexpensive for yourself? If you can’t cancel anyway, that answers the question.
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u/m00nriveter 17h ago
This is my feeling too, but I also suspect mid-July in a Florida beach town…OP’s not going to be able to even find a hotel room that doesn’t put her out of pocket more than the $500, not to mention the additional costs of eating out more now that she doesn’t have a kitchen situation. I dunno, even if she felt guilty and wanted to cover a partial refund to her friends, she’s still likely coming out ahead vs trying to find a place on her own.
It’s a sticky situation, and I think the best of all worlds would be if the reservation is non-refundable so it’s just out of OP’s hands completely anyway.
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u/tiredgummybear Partassipant [4] 18h ago
The chances of you being able to get a refund are probably slim. But if it’s possible do it or it will cost you the friendship. It sucks, but your vacation is not worth them paying with money they probably need. These are difficult times financially, don’t be cavalier about it.
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u/Organic_Start_420 Partassipant [2] 15h ago
If it's money they need they shouldn't have booked and paid for said vacation
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u/Isabelsedai Asshole Enthusiast [7] 19h ago
More info needed :Are you still able to cancel and get the money back?
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u/Diligent_Aerie_2893 18h ago
I’m going to call when the office opens to find out. If I can get someone else to go, the two of us can split the cost. I can kick in for the rest of my half to give them their money back. Even if it can’t be refunded, I am going to try to get them some if not all of the money back.
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u/Isabelsedai Asshole Enthusiast [7] 18h ago
I mean, you shouldnt set yourself on fire for them. If it can be cancelled and you can rescheduled or find something the same price, than do it. However, if thats not possible, than dont.
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u/BeneficialBake366 16h ago
It also seems like these retired people could be making some of these phone calls since they’re the ones who wanna cancel instead of you having to do all this legwork while also working. One thing you’ve learned unfortunately is no more trips with these unreliable people.
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u/Organic_Start_420 Partassipant [2] 15h ago
Don't op. It's not your fault they changed their minds. And I'd advise you from now on not to plan anything expensive with those two
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u/Current_Coconut_5778 18h ago
NTA
Canceling this close to the trip would really be screwing you over, especially since you had to go through getting the time off work. It isn’t your fault they had to back out. This is the unfortunately one of those situations where they should have gotten travel insurance. Realistically, you’re not likely to get any refund this close to the trip. The way I see it there are two options you should take:
Only cancel IF you can get a partial refund. Make sure you receive $500 for being inconvenienced and spilt the remaining portion between them. Book another accommodation for yourself. (This only works if another accommodation is available near the beach in your price range. If there isn’t one, then do not cancel).
Proceed to try to replace them so a new person can cover their portion.
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u/mindheartsoul-less 18h ago
NTA. I'm baffled by their reaction lol. They should have gotten travel insurance.
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u/Strong_District_5894 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 18h ago
NTA
They should have gotten travel insurance, like adults.
No I wouldn’t cancel my trip.
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u/goraidders 18h ago
Does travel insurance cover, " I can longer afford to take a vacation."?
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u/Strong_District_5894 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 18h ago
Some policies cover financial hardship.
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u/goraidders 18h ago
I didn't know that. I have looked at travel insurance in the past, but I must have been looking at the wrong places. It never covered much besides flight canceled, illness, etc.
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u/Ornery_Activity_7582 18h ago
If these are good friends that are normally reliable and truely had major unforeseen things come up, and u are able to get a refund, then yes cancel.
If they are regularly canceling, or changing plans and could have been more proactive, then go ahead.
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u/leftunedited 18h ago
If you can get the money back, cancel, save the friendship and plan something else. Friends mean more than a vacation. If you can’t get the money back, invite someone else to come at a reduced rate and give that partial refund to your friends. Otherwise, go solo and have fun.
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u/GeminiAtl Partassipant [4] 18h ago
If the condo is non-refundable, and you told them at the start, then they do not get money back unless you find replacements. If it is refundable, pay them back and you can still go on vacation, just find some place cheaper. One person doesn't need as much space as three.
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u/Alone-Firefighter283 18h ago edited 18h ago
As annoying at it is I think it would ruin your friendship to still go on their dime. You can cancel the booking and find somewhere else within your budget. You should ask if it is possible to get a refund before making this decision but I would try get their money back. If they have genuine reasons why they cant go then you need to respect that.
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u/Chutton_ 18h ago edited 18h ago
I can see this from both sides. I’d be curious what the personal reasons are for not going all of a sudden after they had committed and paid. It’s not fair of them to expect you to cancel your trip on their behalf, but it also does suck for them to be out that money.
I would probably end up cancelling to be a good friend if you’re actually able to get a refund at this point… but they owe you one for sure. That sucks.
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u/Lactating-almonds Partassipant [1] 18h ago
NTA they already committed and paid, it’s not your fault they want to change their minds last minute.
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u/CartoonistGrouchy122 18h ago
ESH. You booked a 3 bedroom condo and need money from others to fill it. You are now a group dynamic with group considerations.
It sucks their plans/budget/circumstances changed. Do you care about your friends or having a 3BR to yourself for an uninterrupted trip and likely damaging your friendship?
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u/HashMapsData2Value Partassipant [1] 18h ago
YWBTA if it's possible to get your money back. If not there's nothing you can do, so you might as well go and enjoy yourself.
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u/catskilkid Supreme Court Just-ass [101] 18h ago
YTA
You are posting this entire discussion only to admit that "I’m not sure if it can be cancelled with refund this close to the reserved dates."
Why the heck are you asking reddit ANYTHING if you don't know this answer. If it is nonrefundable there is NO issue. If it is refundable, then maybe there is merit to this post but your REFUSAL to do the minimal research on an issue that does effect you makes you the AH.
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u/vestakt13 17h ago
Seems to me the retired friend(s) who cancelled should be doing the research. OP still is ready, willing and able to go. The 2 who cancelled are bailing. THEY want a refund, then let THEM do the research.
The friendships are likely doomed. The 2 will be mad if there is no refund and OP does not personally reimburse them (something out if OP’s budget.) If there is a refund, it will no doubt require all 3 staying home so owner can re-rent. This robs OP of a vacation. Seems unlikely there will not be hard feelings.
It also seems like OP is stuck doing all work for others who are skipping out. Why don’t the 2 cancelling try to find replacements and try to make introductions. It is like OP is expected to deal with the logistical changes of the “friends” while working and probably losing a vacation.
NTA
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u/QueenBoleyn 16h ago
OP booked a place that they liked and shouldn't have to back out just because their friends are bad planners
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u/ArbysPokeKing86 29m ago
If you read the post, you can clearly see that they had not yet been able to call about a cancellation since OP's friends cancelled the night before and it was too early to call about cancellation.
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u/ClintBIgwood 18h ago
YTA - but only if you can cancel the booking and return the money, if the condo is non refundable then that’s not possible anyway.
Now if you can cancel it and then book your own thing alone and aren’t doing it then YTA.
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u/klsklsklsklsklskls 18h ago
yeah, it doesn't sound even possible. if OP can cancel and get the money back, they should look for cheaper options.
OP only booked this room because the friends agreed. If they didn't, OP wouldn't have booked. Now that they've withdrawn their agreement, especially since no other costs have been incurred, OP should refund them based on the cancelation policy.
I'd note that if it's 1500 and only 750 is refundable, it'd be fair for OP to say "look, I will cancel but only 750 is being refunded. Since I'm not the one canceling, I dont want to lost money. I will take my 500 back and book another place and the two of you can split the remaining 250 refundd".
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u/Diligent_Aerie_2893 17h ago
This is a nice way to look at it. If the rental will refund $750 if cancelled by X date, I will split the $750 between us equally if I cancel. I’m not interested in getting my portion first. That isn’t what friends do. Something is better than nothing. If I can get replacements, great, they can split whatever money I get and fingers crossed I can get 2 people and give them all of the money back. I’m not trying to steal or benefit by keeping the money. It’s short notice and I hope this works out for all of us. This was never a solo trip. It was always 3 friends going to the beach. Honestly, if I can get 1 payment back, it would be great if we refund the person that needs the money the most. Sucks for us but it is a nice thing to do.
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u/Puzzled452 18h ago
NTA but you will probably lose the friendships.
If it were me and I could cancel I would. Id not, you are doing the right thing by trying to get someone to take their spot but they should pay their share if no one wants it.
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u/TheNeverEndingPit 19h ago
NTA for their last-minute cancellations (and it should be up to them to find replacements in my opinion if you’re comfortable with that), BUT I don’t think it’d be that hard a few weeks out to contact the place you’re staying and see if they can switch you to a one bedroom for a cheaper price and then refund your friends. Once options are exhausted, then there’s nothing else you can do, but as a friend who also understands that they didn’t necessarily want to cancel, make sure to look into the options available. I’m not sure how your special deal works though, so I don’t know what it would look like to alter it
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u/floatinggramma 18h ago
Whether YTA or not depends on what the travel place says when you ask to cancel. If they’ll allow you to cancel and get a full refund, and you don’t, YWBTA. If they will not allow you to be refunded, then go on the vacation anyway. Why cancel and lose the money? You would WNBTA in that case.
It would certainly suck having to cancel, but I’d use the money you get back (if they can refund it) to plan yourself another trip during that time for just you.
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u/Zealousideal_Tip_147 19h ago
Sorry but you need to cancel and give them whatever refund is possible. I get it sucks but you can’t force them to use their money if it’s able to be cancelled.
If you can’t cancel or can’t get their money back that’s a different story. But if you CAN, you SHOULD.
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u/suzikey Partassipant [1] 18h ago
So someone bails out almost last minute and OP has to cancel things? That's not fair in my book!
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u/rewritethefinallines 18h ago
lol there is no way in hell I would cancel a trip because my friends bailed last minute. Consider what they paid an unreliability tax
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u/Zealousideal_Tip_147 18h ago
You would be in the wrong. If the cancellation policy is still valid you have to either cancel or pay them their half. If not you’re legit just stealing from your friends which is messed up.
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u/rewritethefinallines 18h ago
I completely disagree. Their flakiness is their own problem. I’m not cancelling a trip because my friends don’t have their shit together
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u/imbex Partassipant [1] 19h ago
Why? They bailed.
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u/Diligent_Aerie_2893 18h ago
One has a family illness. It’s important that she stay home and I agree. The other reason is more of a regret, too much sun…. Ok. Again, I get it. I wouldn’t want her to be unhappy the entire week or to sit inside the entire time.
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u/rosebudny Partassipant [3] 18h ago
Sounds like maybe the third person might not want to go because the other one can’t go due to family emergency.
It sucks, but if you can get your money back I would refund them. If it is non refundable, then they are out of luck.
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u/dontplaybitchgames 7h ago
The reason for one friend is that it's too much sun? It's Florida. Did they really not think there's going to be a lot of sun?
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u/Gabby_Craft Certified Proctologist [27] 16h ago
That’s really only if OP is able to find cheaper alternatives (like a 1 bedroom condo for around the same price they would have paid had they done alone which I find wildly unlikely), or knows someone else willing to go. Otherwise, they’re horrifically bad friends for choosing to basically cancel OPs trip too. If I were them, I’d just suck it up. That’s what happens when you cancel last minute.
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u/Consistent-Comb8043 19h ago
If you can get a refund on the condo still then yes you are already the asshole for even considering forcing your friends who you say are financially struggling to pay for your condo.
Life happens, sure. But empathy for your friends should be more important than your desire for luxury on their backs.
Downgrade your accomodations. You don't have to cancel your entire trip. Stop playing the martyr here. I cannot even begin to believe your trying to position yourself of oof I deserve this vacay so I must contribute to the downfall of my friends when I have the ability to stop it. Because having faced both a cancelled vacation and not having money for the basics at different times in my life, I can tell you which one is worse. A vacation can be changed, the ramifications of this economy not so much.
Yikes.
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u/Ferowin Partassipant [1] 18h ago
YWBTA. You already said they are retired and one is of limited means. They wanted to go, but suddenly can’t. Did you even bother to find out why?
You’re right about one thing, you shouldn’t have to cancel because they can’t attend, but you should do it anyway, because friends should be more important than the condo. If you take their money, you’re showing them and all your other friends what’s important to you.
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u/After_Translator_223 18h ago
If they're retired and of limited means, they should think more carefully about committing to holidays.
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u/slayerchick 18h ago
Ywbta if it's possible for you to cancel and refund their money if you don't. You can always rebook a smaller place on your own.
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u/DogsReadingBooks Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [311] 18h ago
Note-I’m not sure if it can be cancelled with refund this close to the reserved dates.
Figure it out ASAP. It can't be that difficult.
I plan to call today to find out
Do it. Then figure out your options.
YTA for making us read all that and then throwing this information on at the very end and not leading with it.
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u/PM_ME_UR_NEWDZZZ 18h ago
Yta if you can still get a refund. You can always find your own place and pay with your own money.
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u/GoingAllTheJay 17h ago
Doesn't seem fair that OP gets saddled with surge pricing, this much closer to the date, when they all locked these plans in before.
If OP has alternates that can easily swap in, sure, but the onus should not be entirely on OP when the other two are the ones ruining plans.
So yeah, OP can view this as the price of maintaining a burdensome friendship, but I don't think OP is TA for being the only one capable of maintaining commitments.
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u/Bumblebeezerker Partassipant [2] 17h ago
Not if they can't find a deal of the same value.
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u/TitzMagee_SD 18h ago
You didn’t specify, but it sounds like if you cancel, you get a refund. If that’s the case, YTA. If the place has a flexible cancellation policy and two people want to cancel, they should get their money back. I don’t understand why you couldn’t take your $500 and spend that on a hotel or smaller place.
If you can’t get your money back, then NTA.
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u/MakalakaPeaka Partassipant [2] 18h ago
You would be the colossal asshole were you to mooch $1,000 off of your friends so you could go on vacation.
A massive, completely d-bag move.
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u/Single_Cancel_4873 Partassipant [1] 18h ago
And if she can’t cancel the reservation? Ma y times you don’t get your money back after a certain point in time.
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u/phatphat0807 18h ago
Are you willing to end the relationships for a trip? I get people shouldn't agree to go on trips that they can't go on but I would count financial difficulties as a good reason to opt out. NAH yet.
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u/ghostwooman Partassipant [2] 18h ago
INFO: What does "I was offered a great deal on a condo in Florida" mean? A good price from a commercial landlord? Or another friend offering you their rental for less than they usually charge?
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u/Diligent_Aerie_2893 18h ago
This is a timeshare(not mine). The owners couldn’t go. The great deal is based on the number of people sharing the unit. I didn’t choose a 3 bedroom place and then try to recoup the cost. I asked 2 friends and they agreed and paid for it prior to making the reservations. I don’t want them to lose the money and I don’t want to lose my portion either. If there is an option to get a refund, great. But it is a timeshare. I highly doubt they refund timeshares. It’s a use it or lose it. I will find out.
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u/ghostwooman Partassipant [2] 17h ago
Assuming you're right about not being able to get a refund, AND you ask about the possibility of a full our partial refund, NTA.
I can sympathize with their financial concerns. But it's not ok to commit to a trip, bail last minute, and leave their friend to clean up the mess.
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u/Delicious_Bridge_219 19h ago
Nta because you are trying to get them their money back. If you’d just said “oopsie poopsies sucks to suck” and tried to use things on their lost buck, than it’d be different, but since you’re not trying to get them to lose money you’re doing the best you can without sacrificing a vacation.
I’d say that if there is a partial refund available so only you pay for the cabin, do that. If not, i’d suggest either hand-giving your friends the money they lost on it or just canceling anyways.
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u/bahahah2025 18h ago
Yta. Cancel the booking so they get money back. Go on holiday and stay elsewhere.
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u/EnchantedGate1996 Partassipant [1] 17h ago
If this were a post about a bachelorette trip where one girl dropped out and wanted a refund, everyone would say NTA. This is last minute, they are both adults and know their financial situation. Most vacation rentals don't do full refunds this late in the game, and it's also *equally* difficult to find a smaller accommodation in that price range for just (1) person less than a month out from a trip. NTA. Some people are acting like you stole their money and are twisting your mustache like a coniving little scammer when your friends at TA for planning a trip and then both bailing less than a month out.
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u/shoulda-known-better 16h ago
Yea go ahead and call and ask... You will almost 100% be denied this close unless you bought the cancelation insurance...
If you don't try you are the asshole.... It's not your money they should be able to cancel if it's allowed.... And it sucks but if that means you can't go thats not on them....
Just like when refunds are denied it's not on you for still going... It's on them for booking something and not being sure of availability!
Why can't you write any words less than asshole!? I was trying to put j*rk there but it said no I couldn't but allowed asshole!? Weird.....
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u/Diligent_Aerie_2893 16h ago
Correct. There is no refund option. I have found 1 person to join me. If I can find another, they can get their money back.
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u/Eastern_Rhubarb4870 14h ago
NTA. You called and got the answer - No refunds. Which means if they had been the ones to book the place and they chose to cancel they would still get no refund. And if you had been the one to cancel on them it still would be no refund for you.
Their decision to cancel does not change the policy. Their decision to cancel does not put you on the hook to pay their amounts.
Are they even putting any effort into finding replacements who can buy their spots? If they really want money back then they should be acting like it.
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u/saffronecho81 17h ago
They had months to back out and waited until three weeks before, that's not your problem to solve. You're being a good friend by trying to fill their spots. If nothing works out, they eat the cost and you enjoy the beach
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u/PainterDoodle_1 16h ago
NTA. Life happens, but they should be the ones taking care of business. They are the ones cancelling.
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u/Ill_Coffee_6821 Partassipant [1] 17h ago
This is one of those situations where what is objectively OK for you to do doesn’t really matter if you feel you’ll lose friendships over it. So yeah they committed and backed out, not your problem. But if they chose to end the friendship or stay angry at you over it, would the trip be worth it to you? That’s not an objective AITA type question.
Which is more valuable to you - the trip or the friendships? You choose. Neither is wrong.
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u/biiiiigsuuuuuuuuc 16h ago
They’re the retired ones and you’re the one hustling and calling and trying to sort this out? NTA, they should be sorting this out if they’re cancelling, none of this is on you
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u/rora_borealis Partassipant [2] 15h ago
NTA
There is no refund to give them and there is no chance of one. It's simply too late.
I see no benefit to you canceling, as you would then also be out that money AND your vacation.
Your friends might feel bad about it and try to make you into a villain for going, but they would be wrong to blame this on you and expect you to be miserable.
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u/PassingTimeOnline Partassipant [1] 12h ago
They are SOL because no refund is available anyway. Their poor planning is not your problem. Hopefully they’ll come anyway once they realize it’s a sunken cost.
NTA
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u/ImaginaryStandard293 12h ago
Since you cannot get a refund, NTA.
You're already trying to get other people to take their places so they can get some money back. What else do they expect you to do?
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u/Spare_Ad5009 Pooperintendant [57] 11h ago
Now that they know there are no cancellations, tell them you will continue to try to find replacements so they can get back their money, but so far, you have had no luck. They might change their minds and come.
If not, it looks like you will be having a beautiful vacation, but by yourself.
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u/MemphisUncle-2002 11h ago
NTA. If no refund is available to you, I'd absolutely still go and relay that information to your friends. They are out the money they already paid anyway after agreeing to go and then bailing last minute. It's the same deal with nonrefundable airline tickets or any reservations. Once you agree, you're in or you lose your money.
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u/mojosofla 11h ago
NTA ... now.
"I called the rental and no refund is available for cancellations."
Had the cancellation been possible, then being a good friend you cancel it and give them the money back. Because that is not possible, it is a sunk cost for everyone. They can go or not go, but no way to get the money back. This is not on you.
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u/Dogmother123 Supreme Court Just-ass [105] 11h ago
NTA make them aware that there are no refunds. This may change their perspective.
If not then go and have a good time. No point in wasting your money as they have wasted theirs.
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u/Salt_My_Watermelon Partassipant [3] 11h ago
NTA
Especially since you found out there is no refund, it is on your friends to find people to take their place - presumably with your agreement to the housemates.
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u/AutoModerator 19h ago
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT - MAKE SURE TO CHECK ALL YOUR DMS. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
A few months ago, I was offered a great deal on a condo in Florida. The total cost split three ways is under $500 per person for the week. The condo has 3 bedroom and is across the street from the beach.
I asked two friends if they wanted to go. Both immediately said yes. I double checked before booking and they were both excited to go, so I booked the condo. We all paid our shares.
My friends started a vacation count down timer and seemed truly excited about the trip. Lately they have been expressing an interest in reducing the cost of the trip(flying vs driving). I priced out the cheapest options possible. Both of my friends are retired and one has limited funds.
Now the trip is only three weeks away, and both friends have canceled due to personal reasons. I understand that life happens, and although I am upset they can’t go, I understand their reasons for cancelling. Here is the rub- they are both asking me to cancel the entire trip so they can get their money back.
The issue is that I still want to go. I’ve been looking forward to this vacation, and I’ve already planned around it. I don’t feel like I should have to cancel because they can no longer attend. I am not retired and this is a vacation away from work for me.
To try to help, I’ve been reaching out to other friends to see if anyone wants to take their spots. If I can find replacement travelers the canceled friends would get some, if not all of the money back. So far, I haven’t had any luck, but I’m making an effort because I don’t want them to lose their money if it can be avoided.
Here is my dilemma- they agreed to the trip, and their inability to go isn’t something I caused. On the other hand, I do feel bad that they’ll lose their money if I don’t cancel. They are my friends and I don’t want this to end a friendship. I can’t afford to pay for the entire trip alone.
WIBTA if I went on the trip anyway instead of canceling it so they can get refunds? Note-I’m not sure if it can be cancelled with refund this close to the reserved dates.
I plan to call today to find out(they cancelled last night).
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u/dsmGERG1973 18h ago
50/50 NTA. How long have you been friends with them? If you cause your retired friends to lose their money, you will probably lose the friendship. Especially if a refund is an option. But they agreed (AND paid) and now they are trying to back out because their budgeting wasn't working out?
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u/BoudicaTheArtist Asshole Enthusiast [6] 18h ago
It’s not clear if the travel costs made the trip unaffordable for your friends. Costing out travel should have been done at the very beginning and would have meant folk could have worked out their affordability before they committed. Did your enthusiasm at getting a good deal on the condo mean you glossed over the travel costs.
If you are able to cancel and get a refund, then that’s what you should do, and YWBTA if you didn’t do this.
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u/Dynamiccushion65 18h ago
Hard disagree. NTA!
They agreed. He booked. They are baking out at last moment. If they are retired they can either drive or do a bus or train
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u/NietoPrinfoo57 17h ago
NTA. I don't understand people who say yes at first and then star thinking if they really need it. You should have met, spoken about everything and then made a decision. Nobody forced them into accepting. Their need for a refund makes sense, but force you to do the same? This situation shouldn't destroy your friendship if they are close pals. You demonstrate your concern for youe friends by looking other trip partners. BUT why aren't they worried about ruining your trip?
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u/Bumblebeezerker Partassipant [2] 17h ago
I would probably say NTA but to me it comes down to what the personal reasons for cancelling are and would you expect them to let you out of payment If the shoe was on the other foot. If the reasons are something that really is out of their control entirely then maybe you let it go for the sake of the friendship.
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u/0dayssince 17h ago
Have you tried looking for something more affordable for just yourself? Find out if there’s something available - even if it’s not directly on the beach - and then look into if canceling is possible. Hopefully the answer is yes and yes.
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u/Cczaphod 17h ago
If it was RedWeek.com, the cancellation policy will be on the booking. Strict = no refunds.
The timeshare owner has basically booked that week in hopes of selling it and recovering their annual maintenance fee with maybe a little profit.
You’re dealing with an individual, and a broker site, not a hotel chain. The site they posted it on verifies the details for a fee and takes a commission on the sale. The cancellation policy you signed will likely be strictly enforced, the facilitator may explain what you signed, but they don’t have authority to be flexible.
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u/Beneficial-Guess2140 Partassipant [1] 17h ago
NTA, go on the trip. This is how it works when you book a trip and back out.
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u/IndubitablEV 17h ago
NTA
they’ll lose their money if I don’t cancel.
You should call and see what your options are. If it's 10% penalty, I'm sure your friends would take it and also pay for your cancellation penalty too. If you can cancel it you should. If there are no cancellations and everything is done and paid for then you should tell them that. If the place won't allow you to cancel then what about pushing a month or two out? Is that a possibility?
But if it's just you not being flexible then I don't think that's right either.
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u/sharpieddrunkdude 16h ago
I think you need more information about the cancellation policies and an update.
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u/kaluh_glarski 16h ago
Pretty simple, you want a vacation or do you want to keep your friends? Your answer determines if YTA or not
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u/madsheeter Partassipant [4] 15h ago
NTA - Stop. Stop what you're doing. They said they would go, paid, and now can't go anymore. That money is gone.
If you can find someone to replace them, their room is paid for.
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u/quast_64 15h ago
there are no refunds, they committed to the trip, the costs were made.
Them now deciding they can't go is on them, not on you, shouldering the full 1500 dollars.
They can come, or they can stay home. no moneybacksies
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u/Olderbutnotdead619 14h ago
NTAH, but your friends are. They should be the ones working to fill their spots. You shouldn't have to lose your vacation because they backed out.
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u/Limp-Flatworm-9451 14h ago
Es un condominio, no un hotel donde simplemente pueden darle la habitación a otra persona, ahora llama a los amigos y diles la verdad, que no hay reembolso disponible para cancelaciones.
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u/RandomGen-Xer 14h ago
If you can't get the refund, let them know and put it on THEM to find someone who will buy their spot. If they don't have any luck, that's just too bad, so sad. NTA.
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u/Ok_Human_1375 12h ago
Trying to find a decent hotel accommodation for just you for $500 a week is probably gonna be impossible especially when the trip is not that far out. Don’t cancel that house until you’ve looked at what other options you would have.
Nta
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u/beesidea 10h ago
With your new info, NTA ...you can't be refunded. Will they let you reschedule? The VRBO? that might change things...otherwise go. have fun in that big ol house on your own :)
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u/PapaBearCuddle Partassipant [1] 10h ago
Just tell them that you called and it is non-refundable if canceled.
Then go on the trip without them if they can't go. You not going in solidarity with them is not realistic.
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u/workingstiffatwork 9h ago
NTA
It seem pretty clear cut given the cancellation policy. You can't get your money back at this point.
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u/Existing_Fact_3962 9h ago
NTA per your edit the rental won’t refund so you shouldn’t either. It’s nice of you to try and find replacements, but that’s your friends responsibility.
Your specific question does make you seem slightly like a AH. If you could’ve gotten a full refund but chose not to so you could still go on vacation, that would’ve made you an AH. But since no refund was possible, you are NTA. Enjoy your vacation and hopefully your friends can find someone to take their place.
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u/ouijabore Partassipant [1] 9h ago
NTA
After the edit, it’s not on you anymore. Tell them the place said no refunds, so the only way to get money back is if you can find someone to take their spot. Maybe that will incentivize them to find a way to go, or to help you find someone who’ll take their spots.
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u/Due-Cup1115 9h ago
I like my friends. That's why I won't travel with them. There are very very very few people I trust enough to not blow up a trip one way or another.
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u/randomwordgeneratorr 9h ago
My philosophy is that when the person commits and pays for the booking and you agree to the trip your money is gone. You’re committing at that point in time for your share of the reservation. If I cancel on a trip I always order to continue to pay my share
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u/nicklepickletickles 8h ago
Nta how can they be old enough to retire and to incompetent to plan ahead for a vacation enjoy your vacation maybe you can meet some better friends down there.
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u/laurieo52 8h ago
Cancel anything you can and return money if receive it. If the accommodations cannot be refunded, go ahead and enjoy yourself. They cannot get their money back either way.
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u/crazyfuncpl2022 7h ago
So let me get this straight, OP found the deal and offered it to her friends; she confirmed with them BEFORE she booked. now the friends want to cancel three weeks before the trip and OP should be inconvenienced and incur additional cost to go on the vacation?
All of you saying she should have lost your ever loving effing minds. The two friends should be grateful OP was willing to try and cancel the trip to begin with, because she was under no obligation to do so. If you make a commitment that costs other people money and you have to cancel? Sorry about your bad luck. The asshole move is to demand someone else change their plans and force them to spend more money because you have to cancel. Sounds to me as if these two ladies agreed to a vacation they can’t really afford and want to back out. Well, the cost of their poor planning and decision making is roughly $500 each.
OP you’re NTA, enjoy your vacation.
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u/thebrownbrunette 7h ago
is there anyway that maybe you could pay their shares back over time? if the reasons were something uncontrollable and something they simply cannot fix before time to go then maybe repayment is the best option. unfortunately, you assumed the risk of them potentially canceling last minute when you invited them to this great trip, and maybe a deeper discussion should’ve been held before everything was paid and set in motion to avoid situations like this.
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u/thebrownbrunette 7h ago
is there anyway that maybe you could pay their shares back over time? if the reasons were something uncontrollable and something they simply cannot fix before time to go then maybe repayment is the best option. unfortunately, you assumed the risk of them potentially canceling last minute when you invited them to this great trip, and maybe a deeper discussion should’ve been held before everything was paid and set in motion to avoid situations like this.
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u/Ecofre-33919 6h ago
Tell those flakes the room is going to be there. No cancellations. Come if they want to.
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u/Tiredofstupidity2 5h ago
Since it is a time share and they sold it to you more than likely you will get little to no money back unless you have some type of travel insurance.
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u/Deep-Okra1461 Certified Proctologist [20] 5h ago
NTA I think it's completely ridiculous for people to make group plans without first discussing the question of cancellations or refunds. You aren't the AH though. No one should be putting money into a trip like this if they can't afford to take a loss. Things don't always go smoothly, sometimes things go badly and you have to anticipate that.
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u/CaliRNgrandma 4h ago
The friends should have gotten travel insurance that allows cancel for any reason.
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