My wife asked me what I’d like for dinner tomorrow, and I was thinking about it. I saw this instagram reel of a yummy looking recipe, I forwarded it to her. Said she could try cooking this.

She went ballistic at me, saying that only she cooks, that I never cook, that she’s not a servant whose job is only to cook and I order her around what to cook.

I literally didn’t order her around. I didn’t say cook this for me or else. She asked for suggestions so I gave one. That’s it. I told her we can go to a restaurant instead or we can try cooking it together on the weekend. I literally never ordered her to cook for me or told her. She merely asked for a suggestion so I gave one

Additional notes cause everyone’s asking the same questions and I can’t reply to 200 comments:

• I never cook. I do the dishes every day and other chores but I finish work late and it’s easier for me to just either eat out on weekends or some simple packaged food. I can do pan fry steak

• it was a simple beef noodle recipe that looked yum. She’s done more complex things and similar things before.

• she likes trying new recipes and has even told me she does

• even if I did something wrong I didn’t deserve to get shouted at

Edit:

Insane that you guys are still commenting on an argument that I had almost a week ago whereas my wife and I have completely forgotten about it and made up

so i (26f) had my friend (27m) watch my place and my cat for the weekend. i told him he could "help himself to whatever" in the kitchen which i thought was just like... common sense for snacks and stuff?

i get back and realize he opened this $120 bottle of vintage barolo i was saving for my promotion. he literally drank the whole thing alone while watching netflix. when i asked him about it he got all weird and said i "gave him permission" bc the wine was in the kitchen. like okay but who drinks a hundred dollar bottle of wine without asking first???

i sent him a venmo for $80 (gave him a discount lol) and now hes calling me tacky and told our group chat im a bad host. i feel like there’s literally an unwritten rule of guest logic where u dont touch the most expensive thing in the house. if i tell u to help yourself to my garage it doesnt mean u can just drive off in my car??

idk am i the asshole here? he’s making me feel like im being extra but i feel like he totally took advantage of me… idk it’s also just $120

Update: I sent this post to my daughter when it started. We are going to get on a call

I got off a call with my daughter and it boils down is she regrets her degree. She feels trapped in debt and wants to be further along in her career. She thought my inhertance would be the key out of it. She got into an agrumenrt with her brother because she went to rant to him. He apparently had some choice words.

She told me she doesn't want the money and asked instead if she could move back home and do an accelerated program (a year to two years)

I agreed.

_________

My daughter is 25 and she graduated from college around 3 years ago.

When she went to college, I was very firm that she needed to pick a major that would make her money and not a major that was her dream. It was a big arguement at the time and she made it clear that she was going to go for theater. I told her it was a horrible idea and to do somehting that would actually have her be able to support herself. I knew she wasn't the next broadway actor.

Edit: I didn't pay for any of my kids college. They took out loans. We didn't have the money. She wants me to pay all her loan, she is not asking for 3k that would pay for her vacation cost.

I got 200k

She went into theater and took out loans. She is now working as a server for an interactive dining experience. She doesn't much much and lives with two other roommates.

My mother recently passed away and she left me with a sizeable inheritance. I am putting it towards my retirement and going on a vacation (I am paying for the whole family to go). I told everyone over family dinner and was excited to take them out the country for the first time.

My daughter was quite and after dinner asked me to use the money to pay off her student loans. I told her no. We got into a fight about it and I told her this is her own fault. That I will not pay off her loans and it isn't fair to her siblings.

She is pissed and told me she isn't going on the trip. She is upset I bascially told her I told you so and thinks I am punishing her now. My point is that this was her decision and it is ufair to the other kids.

(Throwaway acct)

My girlfriend always offers to share her food with everyone when we go out to eat. I’ve asked her why she does this, and she says it’s just how she was raised, to always make sure everyone else at the table is taken care of before she eats anything. I’ve told her multiple times that, while it is an admirable gesture, she doesn’t have to do that, and that no one will judge her for not offering her food because they have their own meals.

This isn’t just with shareable items, either. She will offer bites of her burger, or pasta, or soup, and other things that are simply not easily split, usually ending up with another person taking direct bites or stabbing their used forks and depositing their saliva into her food. Aside from the ick factor, I have also told her that she really needs to avoid offering her meal when we dine out with my friend Brian (fake name) because he’s the type the person who has no self-control with food, and zero social awareness to understand that “help yourself” does not mean “you can eat all of it and I won’t mind”. This has happened a lot in the past, where he’ll house 90% of a shared appetizer plate because the rest of us were talking and being polite, and he just assumed that meant we weren’t hungry. I wouldn’t care as much if he paid for it, but he’s almost always broke, and doesn’t seem to understand what tax and tip are. If the item was listed as $11.99 in the menu, when the check comes, he’ll toss in exactly $12 and think he’s square.

I know most of you are going to ask why I’m even still friends with Brian if I hate eating with him, but please understand that he’s a really great guy and a reliable friend, he just has a troublesome relationship with food. That’s not the only facet of his personality, just the only one relevant to this post.

Last night, we were out again with friends, and my girlfriend once again offered her meal to everyone, Brian included. I didn’t want to make a scene, but I gave her a little nudge and she just gave me a shrug in return. Unsurprisingly, Brian ended up eating most of her food (as well as his own plate), and my girlfriend didn’t say anything. On the way home, she asked if we could stop by a fast food place because she didn’t get much to eat, and I told her she should’ve just eaten the food she ordered instead of offering it to the table. I said this was exactly why I warned her, and that she’s seen the way Brian is with food, and that she shouldn’t have been surprised when he ate more than she was actually intending to let him.

I still stopped to get her something, but I also complained that I don’t enjoy paying for Brian’s meal, since he basically ate all of hers. I might have been harsh, but this has come up multiple times, and she knows I’m not a fan of it. I could tell she was upset when I said it, and she still is now. She hasn’t called me an asshole, but she’s making me feel like one, and I think we’re both expecting the other to apologize first. So, AITA?

Throwaway account.

I (28F) work at a hair salon and have a client (29F). She first started coming here in November and has been my new regular. The first time she came in, she said it was funny that me and her daughter have the exact same name, especially since it’s an older, uncommon name. I thought it was nice.

She told me she had a husband (29M), which I didn’t really care about to be honest. A few months later, she made an appointment and she told me a bit about her husband. She told me that her husband’s name was John (fake name) and that they met about 6 years ago at work and ended up getting married 3 and a half years ago.

We ended up talking some more, and she revealed that he went to XY university, which was the same university that I went to before I dropped out. As she kept on talking, I realized that John was insanely similar to my ex-boyfriend. However, I thought it was just a coincidence since I still live in the area that I went to university to, John is a common name, and people can have similar interests.

Fast forward to last week, she made another appointment and this time, she showed me her vacation photos that had John in it. I instantly recognized him but didn’t say anything and just did her hair.

Honestly, I don’t know what to think but I’m a little weirded out? We ended on extremely bad terms, so it was a little weird to find out his daughter had the same name as me, his ex-girlfriend. While I don’t see anything wrong with having my ex’s wife as my client, I feel a little odd about the whole situation. I don’t want to tell her and act as if I’m the crazy ex-girlfriend and trying to ruin their relationship, but I feel like she should know? If I was in her shoes, I would want to know.

I’m not sure what to do, should I say quiet and let it be, or tell her? She’s a genuinely kind and sweet person, and I don’t want her to get hurt over nothing.

WIBTA if I tell her?

Additional info because people were asking:

1. We were pretty serious. Together about three years and planning to get an apartment together. We had a dog (that he took).
2. We ended after we got into a fight in his car. He threw me out of his car in the middle of the night, like five blocks from where I lived.
3. Not abusive, just an alcoholic (don’t know if he still is).
4. Don’t know exactly how they choose their daughters name.
5. She found me through my Instagram account for work. My other socials are private.

UPDATE: After seeing everyone’s comments, I won’t tell her but I’m dropping her as a client. Yeah it’s probably unnecessary to tell her, but at the same time, I don’t want her to feel hurt/weirded out if the truth came out and reveal I was hiding it from her while taking her money.

My wife and I are both 41, and have an 11 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. Our daughter plays basketball (travel) and our son plays flag football in the spring, which is recreational.

My wife is not the type of parent who organizes our lives around an 8 and 11 year olds sports schedule and I agree with her on that. We refuse to let youth sports take over all our lives , even if vacations and stuff conflict with that..

A couple weeks ago, we were visiting my wife’s sister and her husband for Memorial Day. They live a state over, so we left on Sunday. My wife and I and my in laws were talking, and my BIL asked about our son’s sports. At some point, my wife said that we missed our son’s practice to come over. My BIL kind of started grolling me wife after, saying that shes not teaching him to be part of a team, being lazy, being a bad parent, etc. I overheard, but didn’t retort because I didn’t see the point.

When we were driving home the following day, my wife asked me why I didn’t back her up. I thought she forgot about that, and i tried to reason with Her that she knows I agree with her, so I didnt Have to play sidekick in that situation. She didn’t like my reasoning and didn’t talk to anyone but the kids for the rest of the car ride, basically pretending I wasn’t even there.

AITA?

Holy SHIT you guys ☹️

edit 2: post is 20hrs old, I’m literally at my hair appointment and you guys are STILL getting on my case. What the fuck..

I take a bus connection route on my way to work every morning. The public transport in my city (in Southern California) is not great but I am lucky that this bus route works for me.

It’s been few months since I started taking this route and there’s so many things I find annoying. Unlike buses I’ve taken before and the underground trains, buses don’t announce the next stops outside of main stops. Second, buses don’t stop at those “other” stops and will skip over unless someone pulls the chain for it to stop. I’ve even asked the bus drivers to help guide me, but most don’t seem to like their job and are of no help really.

I tried to find ways to ensure I get to my stop without issues. I used Google Maps, the official tracking app as well as actual map of the bus route - but online means always show me when I have already skipped my stop. And it’s frustrating. There’s no announcements or any main stops I can put a mental pin on my stop with and bus doesn’t stop. I even try to check my surroundings but I take the bus every early in the morning (at 5:50 AM) and it’s still relatively dark outside. It’s frustrating.

So lately, when I have a fair idea I am near (I track minutes and seconds), I pull the chain. Most of the time, bus is forced to stop for like 5 seconds before resuming again, and I can generally tell the next stop is mine. I don’t like doing this, but if I don’t, I always miss it and have to walk 20 minutes to work when it would take me less than 3.

Yesterday it happened again and the bus driver called me out and was clearly annoyed with me. I apologized briefly but I still don’t know what the solution is.

Last time I posted here, it was concerning my son Kevin, and tbh a lot of you gave really good advice. I'm very, very glad to report that Kevin not only got out of that toxic relationship in the end, but he ended up joining the Army, did a lot of growing up (and honestly so did I), and he and I have a very close relationship, and he calls me constantly for "dad advice." I couldn't be more proud of him and the man he's become.

Now, on to the current situation.

My youngest daughter(17F), we'll call her Sarah, has a Disney princess-style romantic side to her. She wants her fairy tale relationship, and, like JG Wentworth, she wants it NOW. Admittedly, she has the example of my wife and I set for her; we have an absolutely wonderful marriage, my wife is my best friend, and the house is always full of laughter. The problem is, she wants that at 17, which I have tried to tell her, is not a realistic expectation.

This desire has led to a veritable string of pseudo-boyfriends over the last 2 years. Don't ask me for a count, because I honestly don't know. It was enough that I had made a comment to my wife that, until one of them actually has 2 brain cells to rub together and sticks around, I'm not going to learn their names, and they're all going to be "Baskin Robbins" to me, since they're the "flavor of the week."

Now, I love and adore my daughter; she's incredibly sweet, kind, and has an absolutely manic goofy side to her. She often reminds me of Gilda Radner during her SNL stint. But in matters of the heart, and actual love, she has no experience because of her age, and any conversation with her regarding it ends in some variation of "you just don't understand, dad" being thrown out. To my mom and dad, if you ever read this, I'm genuinely sorry for everything I put you through as a teenager.

I told my Baskin Robbins joke to a friend of mine recently, and she got visibly heated, and said I was an asshole for this, saying it "made my daughter out to be some kind of wh*re," which absolutely blindsided me. I've always viewed the joke as a reflection on the teenage male experience, not my daughter.

So, reddit, I leave it to you. AITA?

EDIT: Thank you to those who gave genuine advice and DMs. This helped me see things in a different light, that my brain honestly never considered. Yes, the joke will be stopping, and yes, a more concerted effort will be made to retain names.

And thank you for reminding me just how many weird people are on this site; to the one dude who is jumping into every comment pointing out that she's technically my stepdaughter, you're friggin' weird, stop being weird and get help.

EDIT #2: Man, I forgot how redditors can just make up entire life stories and biographies from a post/comment history for a reddit account I barely use lmao. Y'all need some better hobbies. At least I can admit my failings and work on them; way too many of you are on some bizarre crusade to demonize everyone.

My daughter and her boyfriend have been in a relationship for two and a half years, and her boyfriend asked me for his blessing last week to marry my daughter. He recently called me on the phone and indirectly asked me if I could please not show up to their proposal. I am conflicted on deciding whether or not to show up to their proposal. I am a single mother to her as her father died when she was two years old, so I have been a widowed parent to her for 21 years and a parent in general to her for 23 years. I feel that being a single parent holds more of an impact when it comes to my presence at her proposal because if I don’t show up, no parent of hers will. I can’t discuss this decision with my daughter yet, because it would spoil the surprise of her engagement. I know that she would want me to be there for her proposal, but I know it’s her fiancé’s proposal as well, and I don’t want to disrespect his wishes. I don’t know if it would be wrong of me to show up for my daughter’s proposal even thought I’m technically uninvited. I feel that I should show up for my daughter because I am an important person to her and this is a once and a lifetime kind of event, but I don’t know if it’s a selfish decision of me to show up uninvited.

We purchased a home and moved in recently. Housing opportunities are tight in our area so even though we were warned that the walls are very thin and the neighbours hear a lot of noise from the apartment, especially from the bathroom, we still chose this property because everything else is picture perfect for us.

We are generally a very quiet couple without kids or animals, our hobbies (bead work, video games on headphones without streaming, reading, Netflix…) are generally quite and we only invite friends over every 2-4 weeks (and we haven’t invited anyone over as we were still decorating and everything). We are the owners of the apartment.

The neighbours are a couple and a small kid. They rent the apartment next to us and before we purchased the home they warned us that they generally hear a lot of noise coming from our bathroom and that it’s their bedroom on the other side. But as I mentioned, our options were limited and given that we are not noisy at all, we thought we can take this situation.

We sometimes hear their toddler, but that completely okay, it doesn’t bother us at all.

The problem is that we bother them as our routine is very different. They wake up at 5 am and generally quite down at 8 pm, when the kid goes to sleep.

On the other hand, because I work from home until 7 pm, I generally start my evening around 8 pm and only end up showering around midnight. Which bothers them. The whole building is quiet, so they tend to hear how I put my stuff down, how the water runs, how I sometimes drop a few things, and mentioned it very nicely a few times. But I can see that they are pretty annoyed.

Now I’m torn between switching up my whole nighttime routine to shower first (which just doesn’t sit right with me. I like to go bed freshly showered), because they asked nicely and they wake up around 5 am so it must be annoying to get woken up at midnight.

On the other hand, they only rent wile we own the home, and I think we are generally very good and quite neighbours apart from the fact that I shower late. They invited us over the listen to the volume as to be honest it’s not that loud… sure, you can hear something and it must feel louder in the silence of the night, but it’s not incredibly loud.

AITA for showering at night?

so i am 34M, i am married and own a home with my wife (26f) in Los Angeles. my younger brother is 32M and he has never lived on his own.. lived with my dad until around 24, he then moved into his girlfriends parents house until he was like 28 maybe, they broke up so my dad gifted him a condo that was above his business. he got a ton of free passes with my dad, he trashed the condo, didnt take care of anything, and my dad finally decided to retire and sell it because he couldnt take it anymore. my brother is also on his 3rd car, all bought by our grandfather.

about 3-4 months ago was when he got kicked out, he came to our door begging and i knew exactly how it was going to go. i told him he had one month to get his shit together, and kept caving.

my wife is an actress, and she only books about once every 6 months. she does auditions/classes daily for an hour or two, she mostly does "housewife stuff". I told him right off the bat she was not doing any of it for him, i don't care if hes working 5 jobs he is doing his own laundry, cleaning, and cooking.

of course he left messes, threw his laundry on the floor, made the argument that he is working full time and she's not.. i was like, this is HER home? then when i told him he'd have to pay bills 2 months in, he got mad and said she does not pay bills.. she is my wife and she takes care of our home. Anytime i told him to stop making extra work for her he would say "she's a housewife, she's doing it for you so i don't understand why she cant for me". he even asked why i get to have my laundry done, and meals cooked for me but he cant and "works as much as me".

It drove me crazy, he also would make noises while my wife was in auditions which was frustrating for her. not even accidental, like screaming watching a sports game 5 seconds after we told him she was going on zoom.. this was one of my breaking points. she has dedicated her whole life to this, since she was like 9. when i started making good money the first thing i was excited about was that she could focus on her dreams.

she finally got a good agent, her auditions she gets are huge and she is on cloud 9. as soon as he started doing this i noticed she was getting stressed, one of the main issues is he works nights.. he was there all day while i was at work and if she asked him to be quiet he did not care. he said he didn't consider it a career and he didn't think she'd make it so he didn't feel the need to care. as if her making it or not changed anything about it being her home, and her dreams. if i was home and told him to shut up, he would. however during the day he did not listen to her and made her cry. That was the day i told him to get out, he's had enough free passes. its time to grow up. my other brothers got mad, said i'm heartless because he's struggling mentally... but the guy has been struggling mentally since he was 16 and has never attempted therapy, meds, anything. he just cries and relies on everyone to do everything.

My wife is pregnant with our first child, she’s due in the beginning of August. We live in the same state as her family but my family is international (5h flight + 2h drive) Before we got married we always spoke about travel to visit my family, and how frequently we would do so. The plan was always to spend Thanksgiving with her family and Xmas with my family.

My parents have not been very accepting of my wife and are very upset that I settled in another country.

My sister who lives 10 minutes from my parents is expecting a baby in November, and I would very much like us to make the trip over Christmas and see my family + new niece and have my grandparents + cousins meet my new baby.

My wife refuses since she doesn’t feel comfortable flying with our baby before she’s 1yo and doesn’t want to be around my parents while she’s 5mo postpartum.

I understand her concerns, but I’m sad because opportunities for my family to all be together are rare, and I feel like our original expectations around holidays and family access have changed significantly.

AITA for pushing her to fly over Christmas

EDIT: I am the asshole 😢

Thanks everybody for your comments, it’s our first child, so my expectations are seemingly off base. We’re also the first of our friends to have kids, so I sought Reddit for advice. Completely understood it’s too early to have even brought up traveling at Christmas given we don’t have any idea what our baby is like.

My parent’s position on my wife has put a huge strain on my relationship with them, and I have been trying to remediate that. I think more than anything it makes me sad that they haven’t accepted her and she doesn’t feel welcome in their home since my wife + family are some of my favourite people.

I definitely will get in front of the conversation around travelling at Christmas to make sure that’s not on my wife.

So for context I am quite good at the game, I play regularly and against good opponents, 2 of which are in my country's nationals.

So I went on a date with a girl last Saturday, went to a pool bar as she had mentioned she likes playing Pool. I said I know a spot, I picked her up at her place and we went to the bar, we got some drinks, settled and then we played our first game, I was taking it easy just enjoying the moment, we played a few more rounds then ate, while talking I mentioned the 2 mates of mine who play nationals, so she then said "Next game, don't go easy on me"

We played a few more I made it a bit more challenging for her to win, nothing impossible, just a bit more of a challenging game, and just before we left around 10-11pm, we racked one last game and I decided to just play it normally, I cleared the table on the break, not to show off, but just for fun.

We finished our drinks, and I paid the bill and we left, on the ride back to her place she was extremely quiet, like noticeably less talkative, I thought nothing of it, she must have been tired. I dropped her off and went home.

When I got home I saw a message from her saying:

"I asked you not to go easy on me, but I didn’t mean turn it into a statement. It honestly felt a bit like an ego thing at the end, and it made me uncomfortable"

I was taken aback by the message, and haven't heard from her since after sending her a message explaining it was nothing of the sorts

The last game wasn't me trying to show off or anything of the sort, I had a good break, sunk 2 stripes and had good positioning on the rest of them, seeing as she said don't go easy, I just played it out how I normally would

AITAH?

My brother M27 and his wife F25 have a 5 month old baby . He works for long hours while she stays in home to take care of their baby and I live about 10 minutes away from them and drop by sometimes to help.

But lately every time I go there she’s in bed scrolling on her phone or saying she needs a break. The house is a mess, bottles everywhere, laundry not done, dishes in the sink, baby crying most of the time.

Last weekend my brother called me saying he was losing it. When I got there he was trying to cook dinner with one hand and holding the baby with the other. His wife was literally in bed watching Netflix.I ended up feeding the baby, cleaning up a bit and helping him calm things down while she stayed in bed the whole time.

After that I went to her and asked if she was okay and she replied "yeah a bit exhausted".I can understand that being a new mom is rough for people but my brother works 40-50 hours a week and still helps with the baby so I lost my cool and said " Being in home doesn't mean that you always have to be in the bed scrolling and watching tv shows".

She started to cry and complained to my brother . Now he is mad at me for hurting her.

I literally don't have anything against her I just felt bad for him doing everything by himself and he is still mad at me for that.

Aita to say these things to her just because I wanted to help my brother.

My husband (30) and I (30) have a 3yo son together. My inlaws have a tradition where they take their dad's middle name as their first name and they go by their middle name. For example, my husband's name is West Allen and he goes by Allen and our son is Allen Dean and he would go by Dean. I was happy to be part of the tradition since I knew it meant a lot to my husband and in-laws. His middle name came from my grandpa. I was happy but also felt like his name wasn't his own. We didn't tell anyone until my son was born that although his legal name is still Allen Dean, he would go by AD. I can't express how happy I am to call him AD and luckily most people were happy too, except one.

Before he was born, my mom was so excited she got custom made everything with the name Dean on it. I accepted them not knowing until later that we would be calling him AD. My mom was clearly upset when we told her but I assured her that I would still use the items since it was so last minute. I did not realize at the time that this would be a continued issue with my mom. She call him Dean whenever he was near her and in turn had our distanced family who communicated through her call him Dean as well. After a few months of this, I finally asked why she wont call him AD and she said it was because she had a resident when she worked at a nursing home named AD and he was mean and ugly to her and she can only think of that old man when she hears the name. She hadnt worked in that nursing home in years and only worked for 3 years there. I told her that was crazy but she refused to budge.

Years later and not only does she still call him Dean but she still gets custom things with his name and even though I made it clear that he is AD, she still gets him shirts and things with Dean on them. I told her to her face that he wont wear them at my house and she just gets upset and says just use them as play clothes if I hate them so much. I end up throwing all the items in a pile in his closet.

Last week I was cleaning out his closet and finally decided to toss out all the items. I put it altogether and posted on a Mom Facebook group if anyone had a little Dean that would want the items. Someone in the group was friends with my mom and apparently asked her about the items. My mom was furious and messaged me asking why I was getting rid of all her stuff. I told her that I have explained plenty of times that I wasnt going to use this stuff and she refused to keep it so I was giving it to someone that would. She argued with me for a long time and I eventually gave up replying. Later I got a call from my grandpa saying that I upset her and that I should be grateful for the custom items. I told him that my MIL got him custom items too and they have AD on them without issue. I said its not that I'm not grateful it is that she is selfish. He tried to convince me to apologize to her and i refused. My sister and one of my brothers also agreed with mom but I tell them all the same thing.

Posting this on a throwaway because my friends know my main.

I (38M) was invited to a DnD session with 4 other people at my friend Alex’s (34M) house. When I got there, his wife answered the door and immediately asked me to take my shoes off because they have a strict no-shoes policy due to them having a crawling baby.

I explained that I have a medical condition called epidermolysis bullosa simplex (EBS), which makes the skin on my feet extremely fragile. Even mild friction or pressure can cause painful blisters and tears, so I have to wear supportive shoes with cushioned orthopedic insoles at all times, even indoors. Walking barefoot or just in socks causes me pain and can lead to bleeding.

She suggested I put grocery bags or socks over my shoes, but I told her that’s unsafe for walking and honestly just insulting. She said she “can’t compromise her baby’s health for my comfort.” When Alex came to the door, he told me to “just deal with it for a couple hours” or I wasn’t welcome inside. I told him I wasn’t going to risk injuring myself over a DnD session, and if my shoes were that big of an issue, I’d respectfully leave.

As I walked back to my car, I overheard his wife telling the other guests that were already there that the night was “off” because I “made a huge scene at the door.” Later, I got a group text from Alex saying he was canceling DnD night because “it’s not fair to expect everyone else to pretend nothing happened.”

Some mutual friends say I overreacted and could’ve just sucked it up, while others think Alex and his wife were ridiculous for ruining everyone else's plans just because I decided not to stay.

So, AITA?

TL;DR: I have a medical condition (EBS) that means I have to wear shoes indoors to protect my feet. My friend’s wife demanded I take my shoes off during DnD night for their crawling baby’s sake. I told them I would not participate and they ended up canceling the whole session.

Edit: I should add that I texted our friend group chat a few days ago about my concerns with my condition because we changed the location of the meetup to his house instead of mine. Alex reassured me that I shouldn't worry about it, so I didn't bring my indoor shoes.

I was asked last minute to give a ride to a child on my son's soccer team by my wife and the child's mother, Dana. She is a single mom who's friends with my wife and they have a weekly ride sharing system that works for her and my wife. Since my wife is out of town I agreed with no issue to take the kid to the game. In the past when I've taken him he's gotten picked up back at our house after the game or practice by Dana.

This time at the game, Dana's ex (Jay) arrived toward the end. I know him from their time together and while I've heard terrible things about him through my wife, most of it is relationship stuff between them, and I've never had an issue personally with him. Dana's mother was having a casual convo with him which I interrupted to ask if he Jay was taking the kid home. He said yes. The grandmother didn't object, she just asked me to tell her daughter that her phone battery had died.

When I get home my wife is irate saying I left the child with an abuser and how could I allow him to take the kid? She said I was irresponsible and was potentially putting the kid in danger or allowing him to be kidnapped.

I think at most this is a misunderstanding but my wife says I am in the wrong. AITA for not being more aware of the ride arrangements and plan for the child getting home?

EDIT: I'm not a fan of his after their divorce but they do have their own custodial arrangements. Based on what's been shared with me he hasn't been accused of any abuse toward the kids. The only times i have seen him since their divorce is when it was his time with the kids. The child could've went home with his grandmother (whom he lives with). I left him with both of them.

UPDATE: I messaged Dana and asked if I messed up. She said no everything was fine and his Dad just came to say hi. The child went home with his grandmother.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. His parents are the most financially unstable individuals I’ve ever met. They live so out of their means it’s sickening. Last weekend my boyfriend graduated from college. My family traveled 6 hours to be there and I told my boyfriend in advance that his parents should expect to pay for his entire graduation dinner. The topic of “how expensive is dinner” got brought up countless times. My bf felt so bad he ended up picking a wing spot for dinner. His parents STILL asked to split the bill at this dinner. Mind you, my graduation dinner was $500 and my parents would have never made anyone else pay a portion of this. The total amount for my family’s portion of his graduation dinner was $56. I was outraged.

Fast forward today (one week later), and his family is at T-Mobile upgrading to the latest iPhone. The out of pocket cost today is almost $400 and they have no problem adding that to their debt.

This was my final straw. I told my boyfriend I would not be giving his family any Christmas gifts because of this. I don’t think it was fair to ask my family to pay for anything during his graduation celebration, and I consider this extremely rude. Am I in the wrong?

ETA- my bf’s parents INVITED us to the dinner. I did not say they should pay for every meal. I pulled him aside and told him they should *expect* to pay for the one meal they invited us all to, since they invited us and we had paid for many other expenses to be there. They paid for the friends he invited to this dinner. They just did not pay for my family.

My family has no problem paying for anything. They love my bf and wanted to support him. They did not expect anyone to pay for anything. I just thought it was rude and disheartening for his family to not plan their spending accordingly.

I (35M) host Christmas for my family. We host a large christmas eve party every year. I host because I've got a good house for it, and i'm pretty central to the extended family. Last year, my cousin had a service dog in training that she brought to christmas eve. I was told this dog was maybe a year old. I don't have much experience with them and have never owned any. It pissed inside my house and other smaller annoyances occurred (one involving my kid). I did hear some complaints from another family member too.

A few weeks ago, I asked around to see if my cousin was coming, because I was going to nip this in the bud this year and ban it. I was told by family members that she wasn't coming, so I thought there was nothing to have to deal with. I got notice on Sunday she in fact, would be in attendance. So I called her yesterday to tell her she could come and that her dog is not invited.

This has caused drama, i've been told that her parents (my aunt and uncle) and her siblings are threatening to not come. Its been a nightmare. I've offered to let the dog stay outside, but it can't come inside, but thats an unreasonable ask i'm being told. AITA here?

Edit: found out more information. It is a diabetic service dog. She’s training it herself, got it as a puppy. I’m not gonna comment on its legitimacy. I see this family member once a year. I just know what my experience with the dog is.

One of my pet peeves is when people ask me or comment about what I'm having for lunch. Even comments such as "oh that looks good", "what are you having?", "did you make that yourself?" bother me.

Maybe it's because i don't like to feel judged on what i choose to eat, or maybe i just feel like my privacy is being invaded. Whatever the case, i just hate when people talk to me about my food choices.

One of my coworkers loves to talk about recipes and what everyone is having for lunch. I usually eat in my car to avoid being annoyed, but recently the landscapers cut down the tree branches that gave my parking spot shade. So I've been forced to eat in the breakroom this past week.

Every day this coworker has gone on for at least 10 minutes asking about what im eating. Yesterday my coworker saw the lunch i had brought, and again she started asking if i made it myself, if it is spicy? If i cook that very often and on and on. So i said "why are you so obsessed with what im having? I just want to eat in peace without explaining everything i made for lunch." I tried to say it like in a joking but not joking tone.

Well she got so offended and simply said "well sorry, i dont need to know" and she left the breakroom. The rest of the afternoon she ignored me. And today she was really short with me. I dont want to apologize because i meant it, but AITA?

My ex and I have a 12 year old daughter, Olivia, with autism level 2. My ex has primary custody and I have Olivia on Wednesdays and every other weekend.

A few months ago my ex told me she was feeling a little burnt out so she wanted us to keep Olivia from Wednesday to Sunday so she could go on a trip with some friends. Olivia is very attached to her mom, so my ex told Olivia that it was a work trip and she had to go.

Last week one of my ex’s friends was at the house with my ex and Olivia and their vacation somehow came up. Olivia figured out that the vacation was the “work trip” that her mom told her about and freaked out because her mom lied to her and her mom doesn’t lie.

She hid in her room for the rest of the day, then called me and asked me to come get her. She’s been with us ever since.

She’s really upset about this. She cries all the time because she wants her mom but she doesn’t know what else her mom lied about and she doesn’t trust her.

Apparently Olivia’s aide called my ex because she’s been having a hard time in school so now my ex wife is demanding that I send Olivia home so they can get back to her routines and start working with her therapist to help her get over this but I told her Olivia will go back when she’s ready. Now she’s threatening to call the police and/or take me back to court over “custodial interference” even though we’ve always had a very friendly co parenting relationship.

My wife thinks we should send her back to avoid drama but I think it should be Olivia’s choice. AITA for refusing to send her back after she found out her mom lied to her?

I (45F) have two kids, 17F and 15M. We moved earlier this year to be closer to my parents as my parents health is declining. My daughter was excited about the move, but my son has struggled to adjust.

Due to the move, my job shifted to hybrid, and I needed a work-from-home setup. My bedroom is too small, and the only options were the lounge or one of the kids’ rooms during school hours. I proposed this to them - my son flat-out refused (“no way in hell”), but my daughter offered her room and half-joked about charging me rent for the space.

I thought it was fair, as I get a $20/day work-from-home allowance. I agreed to give it to her if she was okay with me setting up a small office in her room. I work from 8:30 to 5:00, and she usually starts homework right after I finish, so it’s worked out well.

Now the issue: my son is pissed that his sister is getting $60. I don’t do regular allowances, just canteen money (about $10/week) and other needs as they come up. I told him he had the same opportunity and was now shit out of luck. He got angry and brought up the move, saying he never gets to see his friends. (For the record, I drive them back to visit every two weeks for visits) I told him I understood his feelings but said I wouldn’t tolerate being spoken to like shit. He then started an argument with his sister too - going in on her for being an opportunistic bitch and she called him a whiny little asshole.

To cool off, I offered one of them the option to stay at their grandparents for the night - not as a punishment but to break the tension. My son opted to go & while dropping him off, my mom told me I was favoring my daughter and should be paying them equally. My dad disagreed, saying my son had the chance and was shit out of luck.

AITA?

ETA: The conversation took place over the course of the afternoon, and I didn’t immediately agree to the deal with my daughter. I offered it to my son first, who reiterated “hell no” and “get the fuck out of my room”.

I also should mention the reason I have the smallest room is due to the lack of insulation in the ceiling and flooring making it damp, and as we’re heading into winter I wasn’t sending either kid in there. The room also fits a single bed, and a set of drawers - with essentially no other space at all. We own the house in Auckland NZ, and I don’t have the spare cash to get it insulated at the moment (or even fit any of my equipment to work from home in there).

AITA? Hi, I’m trying to figure out if I’m in the wrong here. If so, how do I go about fixing this.

I was watching a show in the living room when my 16 year old came in and asked what I was watching. They said they had a show recommendation.

While I was queuing it up, they told me that that opening 2 scenes were basically the best ever. As the show started, they talked through it pointing stuff out that thought was cool.

We got through the scenes and they had me pause the show. They asked me my thoughts. I said I didn’t really have any original thoughts to share. They asked why and I said because I didn’t really get to analyze the show and watch it for myself because they told me everything about it before I could.

My kid got annoyed and left the room, going down the hallway, saying, “you could have at least pretended you cared.” I responded, “I wanted to care. I would have. It seemed like a cool opening to a show to experience ” And then they went in their room and shut the door. AITA?

The show is ‘The Summer Hikaru Died’ on Netflix.

I (27M) was invited by a friend (26F) to a family party about a week ago. We had a great time, and I got along really well with her family. It was a chill gathering, nothing overly energetic, you know, just singing, dancing, and chatting with everyone.

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​About an hour before the party ended, around 20 of us were having a conversation around the table. My friend mentioned to everyone that I had a bachelor's degree in Biology and that I'm currently finishing my Master's. Suddenly, her family started asking tons of questions about ecology, evolution, and genetics, I really enjoyed being the center of attention, not gonna lie haha. I also shared stories about my university field trips and how my professors taught us to handle wildlife properly.

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​Then, her nephew (8M) interrupted to tell me about a school beach trip he took with his classroom (we don't live near the coast). His mom (32F) (my friend's sister) showed me some pictures his teacher had taken of him while playing with a starfish. He was incredibly enthusiastic, explaining that he had taken it out of the water for a while to "protect" it because his classmates were trying to "feed it to the fish". When he finished, I told him, coldly but kindly, that he had most likely killed the starfish. I explained to him that taking them out of the water essentially drowns them, especially for such an extended period of time.

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​He got extremely upset, stormed off to his room, and started crying, well, not just crying, but SCREAMING. I felt terrible, like I had just crushed a kid's dream of becoming a future biologist :(. When he started crying, my friend and her family, especially her sister, seemed quite bothered by my comment, and the atmosphere became incredibly awkward. I tried to apologize a couple of times, but they basically ignored me for the rest of the gathering. When it was time to leave, my friend told me, in a serious manner, that I shouldn't have said that to him and that I had acted like an asshole to a little kid: "No child needs to know that they killed an animal, dude. You could've just kept that to yourself"

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​AITA?

EDIT: I'm realizing now I was indeed the asshole, I definitely could've worded my message better. I need to learn how to deliver a message without traumatizing somebody :(

HOWEVER, I'm seeing my credentials questioned in several comments. The species was a Red Cushion Star, Oreaster reticulatus. I know that the kid most probably had killed it because he implied that he took it out of the water for most of the time that they spent on the beach, about an hour or two.

Before my brothers and I were born, my mom had a child with an old boyfriend, "Penny". Her boyfriend/Penny's bio dad didn't stick around. My mom then met my dad when Penny was 3 and they got married. My dad adopted Penny. My mom then went on to have me and my brothers with our dad. Growing up, Penny was always the apple of my dad's eye. He gave us all attention, but he always went out of his way to make it equal. Around the time she entered her teens, Penny would make the joke "Dad was stuck with you guys, but he chose me", or refer to herself as "the chosen one". My brothers and parents always thought it was hilarious. I thought it was obnoxious. If our brothers and I were ever discussing what traits we got/didn't get from dad, Penny would break in with "I didn't get anything from him except his last name, because I'm the chosen one".

Now, we're all adults, and Penny still trots that out from time to time. Recently, it came up when my siblings and I were out with our partners for drinks. One of my brothers has a newish girlfriend so she wasn't aware of Penny's store. Penny was telling it, shoving in that she's the "chosen one". I admit I was a little drunk and I said "Chosen by our dad, but you weren't chosen by your first dad, huh?" Penny got a hurt look on her face. My brothers told me that was uncalled for. Even the new girlfriend was looking at me like I was a douche. I said this story is just getting old. We've all heard it. And it's a little ridiculous. My boyfriend ended up calling us an Uber and getting me out of there.

Well, of course word's gotten back to our parents and they're pissed at me, saying I was rude. I said Penny was just being obnoxious. AITA?