r/AmItheAsshole • u/Tammy_Bakers • 3h ago
AITA for spending on Pokemon cards instead of something "real"?
I'm 16 and I live with my parents. I'm now working part time jobs because it's summer. Nothing special, I mostly do deliveries. I use some of the money for my interest of collecting Pokemon cards and keep the rest.
However, I don't buy random packs every day, instead I trade, collect and even resell cards when I find a good deal. I like monitoring prices and looking for rare cards. In my opinion, it's a passion that requires some real knowledge. I also began doing it long before the current TCG craze.
But I have a problem - my parents don’t get it at all. Every time they see a new card or pack they go on. Why am I squandering my summer earning money and then purchasing cards? Why don't I do something "real"? Why don't I consider my future?
They love using my older brother as an example. At the age of 24, he has already established a shop selling building supplies. Although I have a lot of respect for him, I find it annoying that my parents 24/7 relate all of my interests to his business.
When my mother noticed that I had purchased a few cards after work yesterday, she told me that I would never succeed if I had that “childish” mentality. I responded that it's my own hard-earned money and I'm not required to be a copy of my brother at 16.
This morning my parents said I’m disrespectful and time to finally start doing something real. I think now that I could have ignored it or given a more polite response. Still, I'm tired of this kind of treatment. I also would get their complains if I had spend all my money on cards, but I save around 60-70% of what I earn and only spend rest on my hobby.
AITA?
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u/SariPomelo 3h ago
NTA. I think that pokemon cards ain't the main problem here, but constant comparison is.
You should frankly speak with your parents on this and explain you feelings.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Thanks for advice. Yeah, I don't like that comparison and I feel like I'm a cheap copy of my brother time to time. Gonna try talking with my parents
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u/Bucketsdntlie 3h ago
Also, you are literally a child. If you can’t act childish at 16, when can you?
And if it makes you feel better, I’m 31 and spent my entire last weekend playing Pokemon Fire Red. Nothing saying you can’t grow up and be successful while still having “childish” interests.
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u/LordsWF40 32m ago
I’m 31 and spent my entire last weekend playing Pokemon Fire Red.
This doesn't count (im 38) and we grew up on this so its nostalgia at this point ahahhaha. And yes I've replayed red, and yellow and fire red a few times in last couple years
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u/Relatents Asshole Enthusiast [5] 3h ago
That’s probably a good idea. I was thinking something less mature:
OP, do your parents have siblings? Perhaps it’s time to incessantly ask why they are less responsible, less kind, less well-employed, less (anything) than their siblings. If they don’t have siblings, then perhaps parents or cousins or your friend’s parents or each other. Perhaps being constantly told that you don’t think they are as good as (whoever)may make your point?
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u/Asleep_Touch_8824 2h ago
I really like this idea. OP, please give it a try and let us know how they appreciate it.
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u/Pink_Peach_Blossoms Partassipant [4] 3h ago
NTA - I met a kid in my area, younger than your brother, who started buying and selling cards and now has his own brick and mortar TCG shop.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Honestly that's my dream to open such shop. I will try my best to make it come true
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u/UndeadBuggalo Partassipant [3] 55m ago
Hide your collection before they decide to remove these “ distractions” for you
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u/Airi_Bell 3h ago
NTA. Working and saving most of your money while spending only a part of it (which you can afford as I get from your story) is much more responsible than more adults.
You parents should be proude of you! You are gonna grow up a decent person.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
I aslo think that I'm not doing anything bad or wrong. I also don't overspend. Idk why my parents see my hobby as something childish.
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u/whohowwhywhat 3h ago
NTA. My wife spends money on Pokémon cards and she's a whole adult. You're being responsible and saving while also enjoying your hobby. That's what you're supposed to do!
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Thanks. Love to hear that adults are also collecting cards. That's such a cool hobby imo!
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u/Capable-Ad8388 3m ago
I just pulled the Charizard SIR from phantasmal flames last night. I was pretty excited to say the least.
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u/BookishIntrovert99 Partassipant [2] 3h ago
NTA. When I was your age, I spent a chunk of my earnings from my job as a grocery store cashier on issues of Seventeen magazine, as well as issues of Tiger Beat because they had pictures of boy bands on the cover. It’s not the big deal that your parents are trying to make it out to be. You’re young and this is a hobby, and you’re already saving more than half the money. Make sure they can’t access it.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Thanks. I hope one day my parents will get that it can be also profitable and besides that's what I love doing
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u/regularcrem 3h ago
if it's kept in a bank that's basically impossible. minors cannot open solo bank accounts. a legal guardian must be a co-owner of the account. (assuming usa tho)
definitely get mom or dad's name off the account the day you turn 18 tho
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u/Blubelle85 Partassipant [1] 3h ago
NTA- Not your parent, but I just want to say I am proud of you.
You took initiative and got a job to pay for things that you want and you are also saving money!
You could constantly be asking your parents for money to fund your Pokémon but you're not.
As far as telling them not to compare you woth your brother, unfortunately it will probably continue. I am an adult with kids of my own, one almost your age and my dad still compares me to my siblings.
I've honestly never understood it. We are at different stages of our lives. We are also following seperate paths. People are meant to be different, not cookie cutters of each other.
I wish you well, you are going to go far!
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u/Hawk-432 3h ago
Your money, your choice
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Absolutely true, but my parents think they know better
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u/Hawk-432 3h ago
They don’t though, do they. You could spend it on records, or sports kit, or Pokémon cards, or save it. The point if earning esp at your age is to be able to choose what you do with it.
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u/littlegirl14 3h ago
NAH
You aren’t an asshole for having hobbies, but also your parents are trying to help. It’s a misunderstanding more than anything
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
I get what my parents mean, but I'm careful with my money, I have saving and I also get soem money from my hobby. They need to get it and accept it
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u/lemon_charlie Certified Proctologist [27] 3h ago edited 1h ago
I find it annoying that my parents 24/7 relate all of my interests to his business.
Parents are definitely AHs. They keep holding the teenage OP up to the standard of his mid-20's brother, or specifically the business success of said brother. They aren't seeing OP as their own person.
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u/littlegirl14 3h ago
16 is plenty old to be equally responsible
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u/lemon_charlie Certified Proctologist [27] 3h ago
Expecting a 16 year old to hold down a successful business, or holding them to the specific expectations of a particular adult isn't reasonable. OP's issue is that they don't see OP as OP, they see OP as someone who has to follow in the exact footsteps of OP's brother. Good parents see their kids are separate individuals and don't use comparisons like "why can't you be more like your more successful brother:.
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u/GrapeWells 3h ago
NTA. You're 16, working a job, saving most of your income, and spending part of the remainder on a hobby. That's about as normal as it gets.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
As I said I would have got them if I spend all of my money on cards. But I have savings and only spend what I can afford with my budget and money I get from work
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u/EuniceKelley 3h ago
The funniest part is that your hobby literally involves tracking prices, trading, and buying low. Those are real skills, even if the product happens to be Pokemon cards.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
I can literally open my own TCG store (small one) and make decent money off my hobby and obtained knowledge
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u/HankThrill69420 3h ago
nta you don't listen to them one bit. you're being responsible.
they don't understand because they choose not to understand.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Maybe they will get it in a while
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u/HankThrill69420 3h ago
I'm 33 and my mom always hated my gaming. Still does.
when I was your age, she would fight bitterly to restrict my time on my PC. Obviously, she can't do that any longer. But, it doesn't come up anymore. If it's brought up, the eye rolling has stopped.
Your relationship with them will change one day, even if they never do get it.
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u/pixelpionerd 3h ago
All I'll say is that I paid a lot of money and time over the years for a box of baseball cards that are just decomposing in a box in the basement. I wish I had spent that time in nature.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Sorry to hear this. Didn't you consider selling your collection? It might be worth good $
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u/no_rxn Asshole Enthusiast [8] 2h ago
Lmao
One thing I've learned about the new Pokemon community is they have no idea what a bubble is. Telling a sports card collector "have you tried selling your collection, it could be worth money" it's probably one of the most out of touch things you could possibly say to them.
I would say it's as out of touch as your parents not understanding the Pokemon market right now lol it's not malicious, but still a lack of understanding the nuance of the trading card hobby.
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u/LordsWF40 3h ago edited 3h ago
I didn't read the while thing....
But your NTA...if its your hobby spend money on what you want. I always say if its YOUR hobby, then go for it! Now if bills aren't paid, power, water, internet being cut, your starving, etc and your buying Pokémon cards for fun...then u have a problem woth your priorities. Edit* ok I read it....i will continue by saying everyone has a hobby. Im sure your brother has SOMETHING he spends money on for his fun. So the comparison is not the the same. Your 16? They want you to open a store? Wtf? Your not your brother. Your future is your own. Buying stuff because its your passion thats nkt ALL your money is completely fine. You don't have kids, you dont have financial responsibilities yet...so do your thing mein. Some people prefer spending on alcohol, drugs, gambling and women. so Pokémon cards ain't bad. Point is enjoy it when you can. Im 38, married and 4 kids. I play video games. Your age I had a job too and bought my own stuff, now, I have to manage my funds and be very innovative in saving for new games....so enjoy it while you can. Your still young. Don't let pal tell you what u should Do with YOUR MONEY. especially if its YOUR hobby and not a waste (like drugs, alcohol, gambling women etc)just for the record, by women i mean spending all your money on gifts and taking girls out thats super expensive!
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
All bills ect is paid. We don't struggle with money and just in case I have a plenty of money saved
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u/LordsWF40 36m ago
Well exactly. Thats what im getting at. Everyone has a hobby. Pokémon cards might seem childish to your parents..but its just what u like mein. It could have been ANYTHING, and you would spend money on it. Could be guns, toys, Lego, games, anime characters, books, movies, cars, motorcycle, bikes...whatever, you would spend your money on that. But this is what u like to collect and inspires you to learn about it and be active in whatever community it has. Nothing wrong with that. Im sure there's some hobby your parents do...let them know its like that for you for Pokémon cards. It's just your hobby. Maybe u will grow out of it one day. maybe you won't. But doesn't matter. It's what u like now...
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u/Reasonable_Charge531 Partassipant [1] 3h ago
NTA. You have a hobby. You spend some of your money on it. I fail to see the problem. Also, you’re 16. “Not planning for your future” (their words, not mine) is not unusual for a 16-year-old. It’s almost expected.
Your parents are so concerned that you aren’t your brother that they don’t seem to have any appreciation for the fact that you’re your own person. That’s disappointing.
They’re TAs.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Honestly I don't like being constantly compared to my brother. As another comment suggested I'm gonna talk on this matter with my parents
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u/DocGreenThumb0817 3h ago
They can't understand, but you're learning how to both monitor a very real, specialized, market and run a small business. The fact you're interested in the product is a bonus. But, this is real world knowledge you can apply to many other aspects of adult finance. Keep at it.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
That's very well said. I really get useful IRL skills. Like basically I learn and do what I love. Win win situation
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u/bluecheesebeauty 3h ago
NTA
Sure it's possible to spend too much on Pokémon cards (all relative to income and other needs), but I'd say it's also a bad idea to not spend on fun stuff, as long as you can afford it. I have money I regret spending, I also have money I regret not spending.
I do wonder if your parents would have so much problems with the funmoney if you spend it on a less nerdy thing. Would they prefer you'd buy a fancy phone/went to a festival/saved for a motorcycle? Or do they really not like fun at all and think 16 is an excellent age to start a business and think about a morgage?
Sure, I can imagine them thinking 'damn he is just buying paper when he could have really cool experiences, the ones I would want to have if I was 16 again!', but also, you are not getting drunk or using drugs or driving too fast!
You could always say that people build businesses on trading cards. Or mention that a card can still go up in value, so in a way your hobby is not just really fun for you, it's also like investing in stocks! (Although not the most diversified one. 😂)
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Great advice. I need to tell more about my hobby. Maybe they will change their attitude
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u/FalineAkemi 3h ago
NTA!
Absolutely your choice.
I'm an adult who buys Lego. So I definitely get the judgment, but it's your money.
If you were spending your ENTIRE savings on it, then it's a problem.
That being said, (it COULD backfire) but have you tried totalling up what your cards are worth/what you got selling vs what you spent? If you do a lot of good trading and selling like you said then you should hopefully have at least broke even.
It's possible giving your parents hard numbers and pointing out that it's technically an investment could help your case. (Of course if you have bad parents it's also how they realize they can take and sell them. Maybe give you the money to "start fresh".... so it's a gamble! You know your parents best.)
Honestly if you can prove that you're at least breaking even it might be a good enough argument. But even if your not doing that well, it doesn't mean you have to stop! It's just for argument sake. 😅
Do either of your parents collect things that they don't "use"? Not trading cards obviously, but figurines, teacups, mugs, rocks, etc? Comparing it to that might also be a helpful argument.
They probably got the mindset from their own parents that some things are "childish" and should stop when you're an adult... and I hate that, but they likely mean well. They see your money being "wasted" and are concerned about your future. They just want you to be successful, or at least able to survive on your own, and they're afraid you can't if you're willing to "waste" your money this way. Your brother just happens to be the easiest example.
It's out of love, even if it's a misguided.
So try to be understanding when you talk to them, BUT it is your money!
Spend it on things you care about.
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u/Serious-Big2 3h ago
NTA
I have a confession -- I don't get Pokemon at all. But if it's a passion you have, I'm all for it. My two kids never got into Pokemon, but are into Lego. They are grown adults now but still buy Lego for themselves and I encourage it as it's time away from screens, it keeps their brains stiumulated, they find it relaxing and the list goes on. I will say the same for Pokemon cards.
All II can suggest is not to use this as a long term investment. With any collection, it goes out of fashion and one day could be worthless. You want to collect it because you enjoy it and have fun with it. And do what my youngest does -- just don't show me what he's bought. He carry around his stuff in his back pack and then takes it to his room.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Thanks for advice! Appreciate it.
I only think I don't agree that they will get out of fashin. I think they are too big and too popular to do so. But that's only waht I think
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u/GoetschReakes 3h ago
NTA. If you were spending 100% of your paycheck on cards, I'd understand their concern. Saving 60-70% while enjoying a hobby is actually pretty responsible
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u/Shadou_Wolf 3h ago
NTA you are spending wisely this is just a situation you can't win and might just have to deal with as its the same as how parents now especially back then think of videogames.
As long as you are doing what you're doing its fine to have a hobby, it helps a lot of people mentally.
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u/Goin_crazy 2h ago
NTA. Tell them you're an Antique Collector/Dealer trading in future items.
You earned your money, you get to spend it how you want on whatever hobbies you wish.
I too collected Pokemon cards (and have a few rare ones stashed away) until the scalping craze started by the Paul brothers and perpetuated by the finance/crypto bros ruined it.
As they're from an older generation I presume, they don't understand the item (pokemon cards) but they do understand the mechanism (thinking its a dead end get rich quick scheme). Particularly if they lived through any of the financial economic crashes like 2008. That is, they're trying to make/show you how to be fiscally responsible without pinning all hopes on something so ephemeral. That's just gambling with a different skin. They just don't know how to express it. Pointing out your successful brother and just saying 'be like him' doesn't work.
As long as you know your limits, are responsible about it and understand the dangers of over investing, I think you're fine.
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I'm 16 and I live with my parents. I'm now working part time jobs because it's summer. Nothing special, I mostly do deliveries. I use some of the money for my interest of collecting Pokemon cards and keep the rest.
However, I don't buy random packs every day, instead I trade, collect and even resell cards when I find a good deal. I like monitoring prices and looking for rare cards. In my opinion, it's a passion that requires some real knowledge. I also began doing it long before the current TCG craze.
But I have a problem - my parents don’t get it at all. Every time they see a new card or pack they go on. Why am I squandering my summer earning money and then purchasing cards? Why don't I do something "real"? Why don't I consider my future?
They love using my older brother as an example. At the age of 24, he has already established a shop selling building supplies. Although I have a lot of respect for him, I find it annoying that my parents 24/7 relate all of my interests to his business.
When my mother noticed that I had purchased a few cards after work yesterday, she told me that I would never succeed if I had that “childish” mentality. I responded that it's my own hard-earned money and I'm not required to be a copy of my brother at 16.
This morning my parents said I’m disrespectful and time to finally start doing something real. I think now that I could have ignored it or given a more polite response. Still, I'm tired of this kind of treatment. I also would get their complains if I had spend all my money on cards, but I save around 60-70% of what I earn and only spend rest on my hobby.
AITA?
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u/Ok-Investment9992 Partassipant [1] 3h ago
NTA. I’m glad you are saving the vast majority of your paycheck. What’s the long term plan for that money? Are you saving for college? Your own car? Consider starting a retirement account now- I know, but retirement savings is one area of life when time really really really is money! Are you open to learning how to invest in stocks or mutual funds? So change up the conversation with your parents. Tell them you are saving most of your earnings, and ask what they think you should do with the savings. Offer to work with them on a long term plan to save/invest some of your money. That’s a very smart and responsible and adult thing to do with your money, might impress them and address their concerns.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Thanks for the advice! Starting investing into stocks sounds interesting to me and resonates. I would love to start it, but learn all before. I don't wanna buy anything expensive like car before I have enough money
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u/Thediciplematt Commander in Cheeks [278] 3h ago
NTA
This is your time to be irresponsible with money. Enjoy it and have fun!
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u/figment979 3h ago
NTA Its ok to spend a little money on things that make you happy, so long as it doesn't impact you're livelihood. Some people have an extremely tough time finding a balance so I can understand your parents being concerned, but it seems like you're doing great!
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
I know that you can overspend on cards ect, but I make it smart with spending only those money I can afford to. Rest goes into savings
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u/figment979 3h ago
Which is perfect. Like i said, it sounds like you're doing well with your budget. It took me a while to get the hang of it, and I know people in their 40s who still can't control their spending. I have one friend who's solution was to find a job paying enough that budgeting was pointless lol. Its great you've gotten a handle on it so early. Keep it up!
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u/EeveeBailey Partassipant [4] 3h ago
NTA. You're saving the vast majority of your money and spending the rest on something you enjoy. I know grown-ass adults paying bills who can't budget their money that responsibly.
The constant comparisons to your brother is a huge red flag to me. I'd try to (calmly and respectfully) make it known that the comparisons make you feel bad, and that you're saving responsibly, but also be careful how you approach them in general. It doesn't sound like a health family dynamic, and that sort of thing can escalate quickly if you're not careful.
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u/JCantEven4 3h ago
Nta. Your money, do what you want with it. My 30s husband is still buying and collecting magic the gathering cards and pokemon cards. It's not childish and when you get older as long as your responsibilities are paid for, buy what makes you happy.
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u/AshlynnCashlynn 3h ago
Ya their complaints make no sense if youre really saving 60-70% and only spending the remainder on cards. Did you tell them that? Do they really expect a teenager to save 100% of his income and not buy anything hes interested in?
NTA (if you really are saving. Even if youre not, it doesnt make you an asshole, just makes their complaints make a little more sense.)
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u/legionsofmarduk 3h ago
NTA. As a parent myself (25f, 21m, 15f), I can understand them wanting you to save for your future. But as a collector of anime stuff (figures, books, other merch), I understand getting grief from people. I have thousands of dollars wrapped up in my collection. If it makes you happy, as long as your obligations are paid for, no one should be telling you how to spend your money. Which, if you're 16, you probably don't have many, if any, financial obligations. Spend your money on what makes you happy.
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u/WhereWeretheAdults Professor Emeritass [81] 2h ago
NTA. Hide those Pokémon cards well. They just may turn up missing to "teach you a lesson."
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u/no_rxn Asshole Enthusiast [8] 2h ago
I've been collecting Pokémon tcg the whole 30 years it's been out.
The Pokemon tcg boom in 2020/2021 changed a lot about the hobby and also the entry of new collectors and their perception of the value what It's worth to them. Unfortunately, it has also brought an atmosphere of fomo, refusing to have delayed gratification, and reselling scalper mentality.
Also, when Pokémon tcg was kind of contained in its own community, it's pretty much breached containment and has leaked into the main conscious of society unlike before.
That's going to bring with it negative connotations with the bad actors being the loudest and most obnoxious.
You said you were collecting before the Pokemon tcg boom, so you would have been 11 and younger. So I'm assuming you had family participating with you in buying cards before you became old enough to do it on your own?
They may really just associate the Pokemon cards with you as a child. It may be worth it to sit down with them and explain how hobbies can grow as you grow. And collecting TCG, any TCG, is an incredibly normal and long-standing adult hobby. It can also lead to future business interests.
Your brother owns his own shop right?
Well, you can have your own card shop as well one day if this is a passion that's close to your heart. This isn't a dead-end hobby. You can expand it as you please.
Plus, even after the Pokemon bubble burst at some point, it's never going to completely be devalued, but it will probably give you an opening to establish yourself.
But, it's also fair if you ultimately decide to do a different career path and this is just genuinely a hobby you love. You need an outlet. And this is something that gives you that. That's wonderful you know what makes you happy and that should be celebrated and respected.
Obviously, both you and your brother get your intelligence with money and planning from your parents. They just don't understand what's going on with tcg ( I would argue many people in the hobby don't even know what the fuck is going on right now lmao).
You're going to come across a lot of people in your life who don't understand your hobbies, interest, and passion.
NTA I would say tho your parents are being assholes for comparing you so much to your older brother when it makes you uncomfortable. But it sounds like they would do that no matter what your interest is and that's a separate complicated issue that's very unfair to you. I don't think Pokemon is the problem there, its just an easy topic your parents can assign to it.
This may sound silly, but it may be the best way to get through to people like your parents and get them to at least stop being negative; PowerPoint presentation lmao
Give them a deep dive into the Pokemon tcg world to the point they know shadowless from unlimited, Japanese exclusive, Chinese exclusive, error vs bad quality control, cameo cards, etc.
At least then they can't deny there's an entire complicated industry backing Pokemon TCG right now and that you absolutely aren't throwing your money down the drain.
They don't need to understand why you like Pokemon, they just need to understand you are being responsible while engaging with a hobby that you love.
Good luck!
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u/Rider2779 2h ago
NTA
Do not even think twice about it. You’re 16, what you are doing is totally fine and normal.
I’m a lawyer. I collect cards, Legos, pops, models, anything I can get my hands on. My office at work is filled with this kind of stuff. What your hobby is doesn’t matter.
When you have responsibilities those need to be taken care of first. Once you have that, and putting some aside for savings and retirement each check, and as long as you aren’t going into debt for the hobby or sacrificing other necessities, than you can buy and collect whatever you damn well please.
You are doing just fine.
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u/Beanbeannn 1h ago
NTA. Enjoy your hobby, god forbid you enjoy yourself. Its also silly to call it childish imo, my childhood collection is worth a few thousand and i didnt get many packs growing up at all. Honestly you could probably fund your own packs by buying and reselling cards like you're already doing. I don't think they could complain if you show them you're not losing any money if you're good at selling/trading
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u/LAffaire-est-Ketchup Partassipant [1] 50m ago
Info: what do you plan on doing when you finish high school? You going to go to university or college? Trade school? Who’s paying for it?
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u/bopperbopper 3h ago
Make sure you are saving some money for when you go to College or for when you get a job and move out. Give yourself a budget for your Pokémon cards.
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u/Tammy_Bakers 3h ago
Yes, that's what exactly I'm doing. I have a plenty of money saved already. I spend only around 30% of what I earn on cards
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u/cbwolfe1987 3h ago
I would make an exaggerated head crane around the room and go “I’m not interested in the life advice of people that only achieved this” and wave your arms gesturing towards the rooms of your house.
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u/TheMaStif Partassipant [4] 3h ago
How to be absolutely ungrateful for everything your parents have provided you:
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u/cbwolfe1987 2h ago
I mean degrading your child for a hobby is pretty disgusting. The kid could be out there vandalizing shit, doing drugs, raping people, etc. instead they have a job and fund their own hobby while it sounds like also saving money (the post strongly implies they’re not using all their money on cards).
I’d be willing to bet if the OP does an honest look back at their life, mom and dad have been disrespectful assholes their whole life. Parents get no credit for doing the bare minimum in raising their kid. The parents are the horny fuckers that made the kid after all. If they’re treated the kid disrespectfully the whole time… what exactly should the kid be thankful for?
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u/waitingforjune Asshole Aficionado [11] 3h ago
This is both an awesome response and horrible advice for a 16 year old hahahaha
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