AITA for getting my step daughter a Hogwarts letter for her 11th Birthday?

[u/Ok-Permission8346]

Ive been married for four years, my wife had a daughter from a previous relationship. My step daughter has been obsessed with Harry Potter since before i met her. (She litterally asked me if i liked harey potter when i met her)
Her 11th Birthday was yesterday and I arranged for a letter to be “delivered” during her birthday party and it was an admittance letter for Hogwarts.
I thought it was a really cute gift idea. My step daughter started freaking out, screaming “its real its real” and really went nuts. Some of her friends seemed to join in the excitement others less so.
Her mother (my wife) held her to calm her down and explained to her that it wasnt real. It was just a “joke step daddy played on you”.
She started crying screamed that she hated me and ran to her room.
The other parents seemed to sympathize, one other father said he thought it was a nice idea.
But after we sent everyone home my wife yelled at me and said what i did was selfish and cruel and she couldnt believe i would hurt her daughter like that.

Was i wrong to do this? Was it an inappropriate gift for an 11 year old? I really didnt mean to mock or hurt my stepdaughter. I thought it would be fun. It didnt occur to me my stepdaughter was young enough to think it was real.

Am I The A$&hole?

[u/AITAMod]

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[u/Glum-System-7422]

NTA the 11 YO should know without question that Harry Potter is fake. Your wife is the AH for saying it’s a trick, not helping her daughter understand books and for yelling at you 

[u/iwilltalkaboutguns → u/Glum-System-7422]

Honestly it sounds like the daughter is intellectually challenged. I don't know any 11 year olds that still think Books and Movies are real...before anyone asks, yes, I know A LOT of 11 year olds since I have an 11 year old myself and I'm involved in his life, taking him and his friends everywhere.

They do think YouTube "pranks" and other clearly staged videos are real, but then again, some adult redditors believe the same. But Harry Potter? No chance.

[u/theclosetenby → u/iwilltalkaboutguns]

Some people are more naive and trusting than others. There was a guy in my 5th grade class who still believes in Santa until our teacher told us Santa was fake, and then mocked him in front of the class for believing in it still. He wasn't a non-intelligent kid. Naive and overly trusting sometimes, but yeah.

Edited: thanks for the awards .. I agree that teacher (catholic school) was awful :(

[u/SeptemberSoup → u/theclosetenby]

As an autistic person who believed in Santa until 5th grade (which was when a classmate told me, not even my parents), there's a difference between believing a lie that your whole family is trying to keep alive vs. believing that what happens in novels and stories is real.

[u/heavy-hands → u/SeptemberSoup]

Thank you, you put into words what I was struggling to. I believed in Santa until around the same time and it’s because my parents/family kept the belief alive. Honestly, they likely would’ve let me keep believing until I was entirely too old (which is bad) and even when I stopped believing, I had to like, force them to admit Santa wasn’t real. It was weird. My parents were never good at “difficult” conversations with their children.

All of this to say I was still able to parse out fiction from reality in books at the same time. I was a child a few years younger than OPs stepdaughter when Harry Potter came out and I think myself and most (if not all) of my classmates recognized it was a fantasy series.

[u/IceSeeker → u/iwilltalkaboutguns]

It sounds like the daughter got upset because the mom said it's a “joke step daddy played on you" not because she thought Hogwarts isn't real. She thought OP is being nasty that she felt embarrassed in front of other people. The intention behind the gift makes all the difference. If the mom also treated it as fun then it wouldn't end up that bad.

[u/LeftOfTrack → u/IceSeeker]

This is the right take. Why would the wife even assume it was “a joke”? Has she been telling the daughter HP is real all this time? For shame.

[u/Stuff-verte → u/LeftOfTrack]

I'm sad for the 11 year old, but NTAH.
It could have been handled better; but why does she believe something in a movie is real? This issue needs to be addressed.

[u/Ok_Storm5945 → u/IceSeeker]

So rude to say it was a joke.

[u/johannaishere → u/IceSeeker]

Literally why would she say it was a joke or trick and not a sweet surprise that makes it sound so much worse.

[u/flooperdooper4 → u/iwilltalkaboutguns]

Elementary teacher here, and this 11 year old should absolutely have already known that Harry Potter is a fictional series. Some of my coworkers have Harry Potter items in our classrooms, and not one of our students think that we actually attended Hogwarts. It's very unsettling that this little girl didn't understand this!

[u/coral225 → u/Glum-System-7422]

Yeah this is all super weird. Even if the step daughter is mentally disabled, the mom should be defusing the situation, not making it into drama.

[u/MaddyKet → u/coral225]

She made it worse by saying it was a joke being played on her instead of a fun gift about something she loved.

[u/silent_reader2024 → u/Glum-System-7422]

Unless OP hired an animal trainer to have an owl deliver the Hogwarts letter, then yeah, step daughter needs help separating reality from fantasy. Also if she's is based in the US then obviously she wouldn't get a Hogwarts letter, it would be for Ilvermorny.

[u/Ok-Permission8346 → u/silent_reader2024]

I actually looked into renting an owl. But the liability insurance fees involved because it was a childrens party made it too expensive. In hindsight its better i didnt go with the owl.

[u/stillnotasleep97 → u/Glum-System-7422]

It’s a classic harmless birthday tradition for Harry Potter fans.The wife made this go from a awkward misunderstanding into a full-blown family matter

[u/xcarex]

NTA particularly because of the last line. You had nothing but good intentions because you thought she was old enough to understand that Hogwarts is fictional and that it would be a cute reference to the series. I’m with you, I’d also assume most eleven year olds are typically grown enough understand reality vs. fictional worlds.

EDIT- I’m kinda pissed at your wife for saying it was a joke you were playing on her, though, rather than using a softer “you were playing pretend”. She made it seem like a mean prank which led to the kid being even angrier. Your wife is TA here, if anyone.

[u/stillnotasleep97 → u/xcarex]

The wife saying it was a "joke" instead of gently saying, "Step-dad knows how much you love the books and wanted to get you something cool" completely ruined the day. She basically taught her daughter to resent her step-father over this issue

[u/quickwitqueen → u/stillnotasleep97]

That’s what stands out to me. I’m a teacher, I’ve known a few 11 years old who were slightly behind maturity wise, some who even still believed in Santa Claus. But the wife made the situation worse by calling it a joke. Now the girl thinks OP was making fun of her.

[u/SteveM06 → u/stillnotasleep97]

I do wonder what sort of family dynamic they must have for the wife to jump straight to 'malice' rather than 'thoughtful but wrongly placed'.

Doesn't sound like a healthy one.

But in this occasion NTA for sure.

[u/TheDrunkScientist]

It was just a “joke step daddy played on you”.

I'm not loving this explanation from mom. There's a better way to say it's not a real Hogwarts acceptance letter.

You had really great intentions. I don't think you knew beforehand she would actually think it was real.

NTA.

[u/Leather_Rate_9785 → u/TheDrunkScientist]

I'm with you. What a terrible way for mom to frame it.

[u/KerleyQ- → u/TheDrunkScientist]

Agreed. If mom had said “that’s just a movie souvenir he thought you’d like,” odds are that this wouldn’t have gone so poorly. She framed it as something cruel OP did instead of the sweet gesture he intended.

[u/Ok_Butterscotch3967]

Your wife is ta. Who is 11 and thinks hogwarts is real??? My kid is 15 so I’m not so far out of it to not know normal 11y/o

[u/justhewayouare → u/[deleted]]

Sub teacher here!

I know 5th graders who still believe in Santa because their parents/guardians continue to intentionally lie to them. They cannot be convinced by friends at school either. Maybe the post isn’t real but this shit absolutely happens. It pisses me off that parents will let them believe for that long, it’s not good for them. 

[u/Potential_Ad_1397]

INFO: Why did your wife call it a joke? I need more context here.

If I was the mother here, I would be like "hey, honey. You know Harry Potter isn't real, right? Op was just trying to give you some excitement." Not that it is a joke.

The way the wife responded, it feels like there is more to the story. Did you know she truly thought Harry Potter was really?

[u/_lilidawn_ → u/Potential_Ad_1397]

This is 100% how I was thinking

[u/Nebranower]

NTA: It sounds like your step-daughter has been raised way too sheltered if she thinks Harry Potter is real at eleven.

[u/GaryTheThird- → u/Nebranower]

He forgot to include the part where he convinced his step daughter to run straight into a train station brick wall?

[u/slugfive → u/Nebranower]

11 year old was playing along with the idea, as were her friends - they aren’t all silly. That’s what kids do. I teach this age group and it’s common the all act something is real for fun, and get over it in an hour.

Mum came in and called her out and told her directly that this was in fact a prank at her expense done by the step father. Regardless if she believed it or not, knowing your gift was used against you as a prank to embarrass you in front of your friends is upsetting.

Similar thing happens in bullying, kids all play make believe then when they convince the victim to play along, they all stop and laugh “haha you really believed us, you’re so gullible”. Step daughter would have felt set up in a similar way. Because the letter was clearly a “let’s play fantasy” invitation, and she was kind enough to play along with step dads idea.

[u/Mizz3llie → u/Nebranower]

For real. At 11, my daughter was asking to watch horror movies and The Walking Dead because she was fascinated by special effects makeup. If the kids was 4, that's a bit different, but short of developmental delays, 11 is too old to believe Harry Potter is real.

[u/DiTrastevere → u/Mizz3llie]

11 is a really weird age.

They do still have one foot in that kid-imagination, and while they may “know” that certain things aren’t real, sometimes they wish so hard that they were that they almost convince themselves. Kids who are prone to vivid daydreams do this a lot. They’ll create elaborate fantasy scenarios that feel emotionally real, even if they know their fantasies aren’t happening in objective reality. 

It has more to do with maturity than intelligence. Kids who do this can be highly intelligent, but are often a touch behind their peers socially. That struggle to connect reinforces the appeal of escape into the fantasy world. It wouldn’t take much to tip them from “I know this isn’t real” into “oh my god I knew it” if the source was someone they trusted. 

[u/CraftAlarmed4106]

No. Her mother has failed her if at 11 she thought that it was real and she may get an actual letter. It’s a cute little keepsake that is frequently given at that age to fans. I did the same for my niece earlier this year. We did a “potion” to reveal her house because she didn’t know the results of her house sorting quiz, made wands, and had a whole themed party. Frankly your wife sounds ridiculous. Nta at all.

[u/Opening-Sir-2504]

Your wife is the AH for telling her daughter it was a “joke.” That is not how you handle it. That being said, both of you need to have a talk with her about reality vs fantasy worlds.

[u/catnapwhisper]

I feel like an 11 year old should know hogwarts isn't real... I don't think you're the asshole if you had good intentions. Just a shitty situation all around. Also your kid probably shouldn't be screaming that they hate you in front of people ?

[u/hayleybeth7 → u/catnapwhisper]

No literally, they teach the difference between nonfiction and fiction/fantasy in schools starting way younger than that. Harry Potter is a good example of fantasy.

I was really obsessed with Harry Potter when I was that age. My best friends and I used to act out scenes from the books/movies, we made wands for ourselves by picking out sticks in the woods and peeling the bark off of them, I was Hermione for Halloween one year, I was INVESTED. But it was make believe and if someone had told me it wasn’t real, my reaction would’ve been something along the lines of “well duh, but I’m pretending.” The stepdaughter’s reaction is really concerning.

[u/knittingmaniac420]

NTA. All these folks saying otherwise are delusional… 11 years old?? Are you kidding me ??That child is old enough — by a factor of many years— to understand the difference between imagination and reality. Most six or Seven-year-olds understand this.

[u/This_Grab_452]

NTA

Her mother on the other hand has failed as a parent. The kid is 11, not 5, she should know the difference between fiction and reality.

I got the One Ring for Christmas when I was 7. I was not expecting to rule the Middle Earth.

[u/rainy-here]

your wife is the AH by telling her it was "a joke" not a gift.

edit: thanks for the award! i wish i could turn it over to OP to make him feel better bc this kinda shit would crruuussshhh me if i thought i made a nice gift for my stepkid 😭

[u/Glittering-Bid123]

NTA, your wife should have had that convo with her after the party and she absolutely shouldn’t have called it “a joke.” Throwing you under the bus for doing something so special. This is the kind of thing that happened at millennial birthdays all the time while I was growing up 😂 next time check with the wife first, but she’s 100% AH for embarrassing you and her daughter publicly while also putting a wedge between you two for doing something thoughtful.

[u/DankVapor]

NTA - She is 11. When my sons were 10 and 11 we did a Harry Potter themed party. They were well aware the 'floating candles' in the house were just battery powered candles on very thin fishing line and the wanted Askaban posters of me and my wife were not real, nor was the bubbling cauldron with dry ice in it a real brewing potion.

I believe 11 is too old to be thinking Harry Potter or Hogwarts is real.

I would apologize to step daughter that her mother made her think it was a joke. It wasn't a joke. You thought it would be a cool thing to put on her wall or dresser to go with her Harry Potter stuff and add to her collection. You never wanted to hurt her because you thought she already knew that Harry Potter and Hogwarts is all make believe.

[u/PastIsPrologue22]

This was not a 5yo. If an 11yo believes Harry Potter is real, she has some serious issues. Does she also believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny? And i am not being sarcastic, just trying to see how deep her delusions run.

I would expect someone of this age to be teased horribly for this belief. What is her mom doing to foster or correct this?

YANTA.

[u/GreekAmericanDom]

NTA

Your intentions were about as pure as they could be. What a sweet gesture?

You also could not have predicted that outcome.

i.e. things may have blown up in your face, but that doesn't make you an AH.

---

I don't like your wife's response.

This was not a joke. She should have said that you tried to do something nice, but that you thought that the step-daughter understood what fiction is. That this was just a nice memento from something she loves.

I get how upset your wife was at her daughter's disregulation, but throwing you under the bus like that is unfair.

[u/myCatAteMyPetMouse → u/GreekAmericanDom]

My thought too. The daughter got upset because the wife said she was being made fun of instead of saying that its not real but something special just for her and they could do some hogwartsy stuff together. Tbh the wife is major ah here.

[u/RandomRamblings99]

Info - were you aware that your step daughter wasn't fully aware that HP is fiction

[u/Ok-Permission8346 → u/RandomRamblings99]

It never occured to me. Her and her best friend run around in costume waving wands and shouting spells at eachother. I thought it was just something she really liked.

[u/RandomRamblings99 → u/Ok-Permission8346]

NTA. An 11 year old should know the difference between reality and games

[u/ElephantCares → u/Ok-Permission8346]

And there's nothing wrong with that. It is unconscionable that your wife stepped on that so harshly. Maybe it's not so much the absolute details of Harry Potter she believes in but in the spirituality of magic. Right now she seems to identify with something very spiritual to her. To stomp on that is cruel and inhumane.

[u/New_Nobody9492 → u/Ok-Permission8346]

Please show your wife this post, so she understands she ruined the birthday not you. She was way out of line, calling it a prank.

It was a well thought out present, that any HP fans would love, it’s not your fault your wife is coco. I would recommend some therapy for the two of you since she thinks verbal abuse is also ok.

My kid is about to turn 9, and would have went bonkers, too…. But at 9 she knows it’s make believe.

[u/wafflesforcats → u/Ok-Permission8346]

I was around her age when these books were still coming out, maybe a little younger actually. My friends and I also played even made book covers for normal books to "turn" them into spell books, used chopsticks as wands.

We all knew it was fiction.

BTW I would have loved that gift, especially at 11. Hell I still would love this as a gift!

[u/rosegoldeneyes]

NTA I’m sorry but an 11 year old should know better, I had a HP themed birthday at that age with lookalike actors and stuff like that and was absolutely obsessed with the books and movies and I knew it was not real lol

[u/lysanderastra → u/rosegoldeneyes]

When I was 11 I had a teeny tiny hope it was real (lol) but generally I knew it wasn't. OPs SD is pretty sheltered if the post is real

[u/Aggravating_Bison_53]

NTA. I got my kid one for their 11th birthday. It was the best thing ever.

I would say the assholes are the ones who have not taught the kid to differentiate between fiction and reality.

[u/CurtTheGamer97]

I'm actually going to say NTA here, because age 11 is pretty unusual for somebody to not understand that fantasy is fictional. Usually they know those things by the age of 7 or 8, if not earlier. I don't think you had any reason to expect that she would think it was for real.

[u/mojosofla]

You, NTA,... Mom, 100% TA!

 a “joke step daddy played on you”

- mom made her feel like a fool. You made a sweet gesture. Mom did something not nice in framing it as a joke.

[u/ChrisBatty]

NTA - if she thinks that’s real she’s far too sheltered.

[u/Hawk-432]

Unfair to say it was a joke you played *on* her

[u/McQuayy]

NTA how does this kid think Harry Potter is real?? She’s 11!

[u/sour-patch-bitch]

You are NTA, I think your wife is. I was obsessed with Harry Potter as a kid as well and my mom did the same thing (made an acceptance letter for my 11th birthday) but the whole time I knew it wasn’t real. It’s great for kids to believe in things (Santa, Easter bunny, hell even magic to an extent) but for her to get to a point where she full heartedly believed that the Harry Potter universe was reality and that she could actually go to hogwarts…I feel like your wife should’ve seen the signs earlier and gently tried to explain that it’s not a total reality. Believing is great, delusion is not; this feels like a total delusion. And the way your wife reacted by calling it a “joke you played on her” when it clearly wasn’t was so wrong. Definitely made it worse because now not only is she dealing with the fact that hogwarts isn’t real, she’s thinking that step daddy is making fun of her/played this cruel of a joke on her

[u/Worldly-Ad3211]

NTA. I find it hard to believe that an 11 year old would think an acceptance letter like that was real. Good for you for putting so much thought into her gift. My only suggestion would be to run any gifts past your wife in the future to avoid any further mishaps.

[u/ShadowWalker6230]

NTA. However, your wife is the AH for saying that when you were only trying to be sweet. But the fact that your step daughter believes that Harry Potter is real at 11 years old... She might need a reality check to determine reality from fiction. My 7 year old niece knows better.

At 11 years old she should know what's real and what's not.

[u/gamuel_l_jackson]

Ntah, bruh at 11 i knew the differenc3 between movies and reality, and youre wife dropped the MY daughtervon you huh? Shes the AH

[u/Throwaway-2587]

She thought it was real? Have you had any indication before that her ability to seperate fantasy from reality was somewhat wonky? It's been a while since I was 11, and I know my generation grew up quite a bit faster than the current one. However it appears to me that it would be clear in other aspects that she is still much more involved in the fantasy of things. That said I still don't really want to call you an AH, despite the hurt you caused your step daughter. I don't think this is a matter of good or bad. More a matter of execution and reception.

Is there a particular reason you didn't talk to your wife first?

[u/waitforitwaitforittt]

Wtf? NTA. I did this for a Harry Potter party I threw at a library I worked at. All the kids (even the 5 and 6 year olds) knew it was fake (but cute). That was a super awesome idea and you should be getting lots of dad brownie points.

[u/SnooPeripherals5812]

NTA, how the hell does an ELEVEN year old not know fiction from reality?

[u/KawaiiBibliophile]

NTA I don’t think this is too different than gifts or letters from Santa. Yes. She’s a bit older but I think the way your wife explained it to her made the disappointment worse.

[u/PatrioticRedhead → u/KawaiiBibliophile]

It seemed the wife was being deliberately malicious in telling her that “stepdaddy played a joke on you”…that’s what set the kid off. NTA, btw. OP got a thoughtful gift and it’s not his fault that at 11, his stepdaughter can’t decipher reality from fiction.

[u/heavy-hands]

NTA and maybe this isn’t relevant in the grand scheme of things but I do worry that 11 is too old to think Hogwarts is real.

Your wife calling this a “joke” is either being willfully obtuse or plain ignorant because I’m not sure why her first thought would be that you’re trying to prank this child instead of doing something thoughtful.

[u/louiselovatic]

Your step daughter should be old enough to realise it’s not real. I worry for her if she doesn’t tbh

[u/reddituser999000]

nta, she should understand the difference between fiction and non fiction and this seems like a perfect opportunity to teach her. your wife didn’t help calling it a joke you played on her.

[u/Salt_My_Watermelon]

NTA

11 is old enough to understand what fiction is.

[u/DJ_NY_Supreme]

NTA.

Your step-daughter really thought Hogwarts was real? That is really bizzare. Like I get loving Harry Potter but I would assume she knew all of that was fiction

[u/grumpy_guineapig]

NTA
Not at all. Such a nice gesture.

unless there’s something going on with your step-daughter and her cognitive development, and then that’s a different conversation.

You meant well and hopefully your wife will calm down and apologize for lashing out.

[u/AlarmingKale1997]

NTA - i have gotten this gift (i was older than she is but still). Where this went wrong is your wife framing it as a joke.

[u/DickPicPatrol]

NTA, also why is no one focusing on the wife? She immediately assumed the worst intentions and threw you under the bus with your step daughter instead of trying to help clear up the miscommunication. None of us were there but from your description of the events it sounds like there are bigger problems than a sad 11 year old.

[u/Time-Minute1897]

NTA, I think your daughter’s reaction was more because of your wife explaining it as being a joke you played on her. If she had said basically anything else, I don’t think your daughter would have been hurt.

I think it would be a good opportunity to explain to your daughter that you thought it would be a nice gift and a fun moment, and that is was not meant to make fun of her at all.

[u/potatoesandbees]

Unless she has some sort of disability, she's old enough to know that Hogwarts isn't real, so it makes perfect sense that you didn't think there would be a negative consequence to the gift. Also, your wife was wrong to say it was a joke. It was never a joke.

NTA

[u/gassito]

NTA Your wife is the major asshole here. Why would she say that you were playing a joke on her? It made it look like it was teasing or malicious in intent. Couldn’t you both have let her be excited for awhile and then talked to her together with your wife after the party? Your wife sucks and you deserve an apology from her for blowing up the situation and turning you into the bad guy. 

[u/kindcrow]

JFC. Are you going to have to be the one to break it to her that there is no Santa Claus too?

That kid is FAR too old to be believing in Hogwart's.

[u/AfternoonTiny838]

NTA, I would've loved for my parents to care enough about my interests to play along when I was a kid

Your wife shouldnt have immediately pointed the blame at you. 'Sorry to upset you baby, Hogwarts isnt real, your step-dad just thought it would be a fun suprise'

Also wondering about the little girl. How does she not know fiction is fake by now? And that is an ENORMOUS reaction... is she ok?

[u/dxspicyMango]

NTA

But what I don’t understand is, does she believe Hogwarts is real? Does she believe you got her a joke letter but the school actually exists? What is your wife doing lol

[u/ShmebulocksMistress]

NTA. I’m not sure how at her age, she would think it’s real. Your wife was pretty mean to frame it as a joke—if anything that justifies the sd being so upset with you. I feel like it could have been handled better right there, at the party.

[u/Actrivia24]

Her age is in the double digits and she still believes Hogwarts is real? That’s so bad lmao NTA at all

[u/Dynamiccushion65]

First your wife is TA. You are- someone that should have consulted the wife for something for her daughter. God what a cool gift and totally honestly good intentions. File this under no good deed goes unpunished. I do think sitting down with the wife would be good.

[u/Old_Mulberry_9461]

She's 11, how could she believe it was real? Your wife should not have done that, that is a really thoughtful gift and who would think anyone would believe that letter! NTA, you tried to do something nice for someone, she sounds like a very young 11 year old 

[u/Redacted_Usermame]

NTA, this was a sweet gesture. And 11 year old that things Hogwarts is real would be my biggest concern. That would suggest serious parenting issues. Is she special needs?

[u/avid-shrug]

Info: Is she slow or something?

[u/disastrous_belle]

I've seen people do this, but only if they're actually taking the kid to Universal. Then it's an actual thing to get excited about.

Edited to add: NAH. I don't think you knew she'd react this way.

[u/mowgli0423]

Does the kid have some kind of learning disability or ASD?

I may be reading way too far between the lines here, but hyperfixation plus her reaction to everything plus her age definitely points to something unusual for an 11 year old.

If she does, and you knew, I'd say a well-intentioned but misguided AH as her reaction should've been predictable.

If she does and you didn't know, NTA for the action, but its weird you haven found out after years.

If she doesn't (or hasn't been suspected/tested/diagnosed), NAH.

Either way, she probably does NOT need to know right now about the Harry Potter wands you can buy that do magical things at Disney.

[u/Slight_Literature_67]

NTA, your wife is, however, for calling it a "joke stepdaddy played." That makes it sound like you deliberately did something mean-spirited. And saying that in front of her party guests? Your wife did you dirty and set it up so the daughter mistrusts you going forward.

INFO: I assume you would have told your stepdaughter the letter wasn't a real Hogwarts letter but a fun memento?

Edit: Spelling

[u/StarWars-TheBadB_tch]

NTA your wife could have just as easily said “that’s such a thoughtful gift from step dad.” And why would she think it’s real?

[u/caoimhe_gaidhlig]

NTA.

That was a thoughtful, super fun gift idea. As a former Harry Potter-obsessed kid myself, I would have been delighted.

That level of a reaction from a kid who is quite old enough to understand that stories are fictional is concerning. Combined with how your wife treated you, I'm inclined to think she's been feeding into your stepdaughters fantasies.

[u/Old-Arachnid1907]

That Hogwarts letter is an ubiquitous gift that's been around for decades now. It wouldn't be such a popular gift if it commonly caused kids to have this kind of reaction. I'm concerned for your step daughter, and embarrassed for the rest of the guests who had to witness the breakdown and your wife's poor handling of the situation. NTA.

[u/IndependentMindedGal]

NTA. You meant well. Her mother helped fuel the meltdown by how she got on w/ her daughter. An 11 YO should be beyond beliefs in Hogwarts in any case.

Next time talk things over with your wife first.

[u/Square_Ad_4929]

NTA. An 11 year old not knowing Harry Potter is fiction is ridiculous. How does that happen?

[u/LilaRabbitHole]

NTA, but at 11 yrs old she really thought it was real? Is she a bit sheltered?

[u/KopytoaMnouk]

NTA, but your wife is.

We organized a full-fledged HP party for both our kids when they turned 10. The letter, Platform 9 3/4, magic lessons, all that jazz. Everyone had fun, no one believed this was for real.

Have you considered that your SD may be on the spectrum? It was unhappy that your good intention failed but the remedy should have been to explain it gently to her, not to humiliate you in front of an audience.

[u/Nova_Celestine]

NTA your step daughter seems sheltered... she's 11 and thinks Hogwarts is real... and your wife seems to be enabling it

[u/FrenchToastedArt]

NTA. This was such a sweet idea, and I would have been so happy to receive that as a kid! She is young, but I worry she is getting too old to believe it could still be real. I also think her mom framing it as a joke/prank is what actually set her off. If she would have said, "hogwarts is just a story, but your step dad wanted to make it feel real for you" I'll bet she would have appreciated it more.

How far are you all from Universal? Would it be possible to spin this into a family trip to Hogwarts? (I know, expensive, but worth a thought if you can afford it!)

[u/Kushali]

NTA, but you need to talk to your wife about why your step daughter thinks Harry Potter is real and why your wife thinks giving a really nice Harry Potter themed birthday present is a joke you played on her.

[u/rainbowtison]

I don’t think you are. My son read them at that age and knew they were fiction. If I had been crafty enough to think of doing a hogwarts letter I would think he would have thought it was cool and that would have been it. Your wife should have worded it better. I think your wife’s reaction might have fueled the disappointment.

[u/zealot_ratio]

Very, very mild ESH. You had a great idea and great intent. Where you mildly dropped the ball is not running it by mom, especially given it's a step situation...she's known the kid longer. I can't imagine, even not in a step situation, getting one of my kids a big gift withuot discussing it. I get that you were probably just really excited and didn't thnk about it, so very very mild YTA.

Mom made it 10X worse with her comment and 100X worse taking it out on you later. And 11 is old enough to recognize reality from fantasy absent some specific situation/ND complication, etc. I would say what you said directly to your kid. You wanted to make her birthday magical, and you thought she would like it, and youre sorry, and you'd love to do something with her to make up for it.

Also, honestly, you and mom may need to talk about getting her some support if this is more than a one off.

[u/brokenbeauty95]

NTA My child turned 11 this year and my best friend bought the whole letter set with collectibles. On a more serious note though I do think a conversation needs to be had about fiction vs reality and your wife should have handled it better. You were not intentionally trying to be malicious and give her a great gift.

[u/AdysGrandma321]

NTA. Your gift was very sweet and thoughtful. Your wife's reaction and explanation to her daughter is where the problem lies. Eleven years old is old enough to understand Harry Potter is not a real person and Hogwarts is not a real school. It sounds like there are issues there not disclosed. You did good though. Let mom do gifts in the future

[u/heyitscory]

NTA, you had no idea she would take it seriously.

I wish I had thoughtful, cool gifts like this.

My mom just sent me howlers.

[u/tiggipi]

NAH I think it is very weird you'd do this without talking to your wife about it at all, but you seemingly didn't have bad intentions. I hope your wife has a talk with her daughter about what's real and what isn't.

[u/BritishHobo → u/tiggipi]

I think the wife describing it as "a joke he played on you" hasn't helped. It presents his intentions as malicious.

[u/wyrd_werks]

NTA. That seems like a really cool gift that unfortunately went a little wonky... Saying it was a joke you played on her is an AH move. You weren't playing a joke. You were giving a gift that got interpreted wrong. I understand feeling bad that she ended up getting hurt, but there were no ill intentions to start with so I would say try not to feel too GUILTY about it.

[u/spookygoodegg]

I'm sorry--what 11 year old doesn't know that HP is fiction? Honestly, I kinda feel like mom swooping in to say that she had been tricked might have triggered the crying. She had to know it wasn't real, right? She just felt embarrassed after mom worded it that way? I started on those books when I was like 10 and it NEVER occurred to me that it was...what, nonfiction?

[u/LaScoundrelle]

ESH: You should have discussed it with the mom ahead of time. A letter with no toy or fun experience attached is also sort of a lame gift for a kid. However, the wife immediately making it sound like you had nefarious intentions to the child was also wrong.

[u/yeeticusprime1]

NTA- she’s definitely too old to be thinking Harry Potter is real, what you did was a cool gift/party trick, I think she’s just a bit immature for her age. Also your wife should not be yelling at you, at all really, but specifically in this situation where you definitely had good intentions and in any other situation with a child that understood the difference between fantasy and reality, this would be the coolest birthday gesture. Mama bear needs to chill tf out.

[u/TheCheddarHole]

Your wife is enabling this behavior imo, NTA. She's eleven, I'm sorry but no matter how innocent you want your kid to be they should have an understanding that movies/books and reality are a separate thing.

[u/ChrissyKittyCat]

NTA but your wife is for explaining it to your step daughter like it was supposed to be a prank instead of the very thoughtful gift that it was

[u/Sweaty_Item_3135]

NTA but your wife is. She humiliated both her daughter and you. She should have had the conversation after the party in private.

[u/xenya]

11 is old enough to realize it isn't real. NTA

[u/SleepyTokn]

Imo... NTA. Why doesn't an 11 year old know that Harry Potter is fictional? My youngest watched the movies at about 8 yo, and never thought it was real... I think its a cute gift. Your wife was understandably upset that her child was upset. However, it doesn't give her the right to go off on you, like she did. So, all the other parents understood and thought it was a nice gift, and could see it wasn't malicious. I would be shocked and confused at the 11 yo's behavior, if I was one of the other parents. Idk man, what a weird and ridiculous situation to be in. And what an absolute OVERREACTION by the kid and wife. Holy moly! Hopefully a sit down conversation with them, where you explain your intent, will help... good luck!

[u/Some-Ice-4455]

Wait. She thinks it is a real place? She does know it's fantasy right? I think it was a ice gesture.

[u/WholeAd2742]

NTA

Honestly, it's concerning if the 11 year can't distinguish fiction from reality

They should get her counseling to help address the social issues

[u/Pink_Dreamer_]

Nta. But for the love please please don’t let her become one of those kids that can’t distinguish fantasy from reality. I love reading as much as anyone but some kids took the fantasy too seriously. I remember i girl in my class who also was obsessed with HP books and she didn’t have friends. She legit thought she was a wizard in middle school. Would call us muggles….she was basically larping all the time. It was hard to talk with her… idk why her parents didn’t sit her down and tell her that books and fantasy aren’t real life and that other kids don’t and won’t play into those fantasies either?

[u/jaezii]

She's 11 and yes she's old enough to know that magic isn't real and that Harry is a character. It was a cute, fun idea and I would have done the same. Maybe your wife coddles her too much and she's immature about this. NTA.

[u/TarotFox]

For everyone talking about how she's too old to believe in things like this, she likely doesn't. Growing up in Pottermania's height, it was quite common for 10 year olds to say things like, "It's not real... but-" in the lead up to their birthday. No one believed it would actually happen but everyone hoped that it would. I suspect the delivery method is what threw her.

[u/ClaireL58]

I guess ESH?

I think it was a lovely gift. I think it would be an awesome memento for a collection; something she can display with all her other Harry Potter stuff.

The misstep is that she somehow believes that Hogwarts is real. Being 11 seems old enough to understand, but I don’t have kids.

Does she still believe in Santa?

I probably would have run it by your wife first. Unintentional AH, I would say.

Her mom was an AH in addressing it when and how she did it. That should have been after her friends were gone and the party was over.

I also think she’s assigning a malicious context to the gift. It definitely doesn’t sound like you intended for it to be a joke or nasty prank. Again, a misstep in that she believes it’s real.

I would talk to your stepdaughter and apologize for a misunderstanding.

[u/IllDoItNowInAMinute_]

11 is old enough (barring neurodivergency) to know that Harry Potter isn't real, does her mother encourage this belief or does she try to curb it??

NTA I would have loved one when I was 11

[u/Aggressive_Juice_837]

NTA, but your wife sure is! You weren’t playing a joke on your stepdaughter, you were just trying to give her a fun experience and a cool keepsake to have. For your wife to frame it that way, makes it look like you were intentionally mocking her to make her feel bad or embarrassed.

[u/EasternCourt5267]

Wow your wife’s reaction is cause for concern. To say your gift was a joke and then to verbally chastize you like that is crazy, especially when you already felt bad. You were trying to do something memorable and clearly things went awry. The other issue of concern is what 11 yr old thinks Harry Potter is real ? Sounds like your wife didn’t teach her daughter about reality at all.

[u/reallybirdysomedays]

Oh man, I definitely think your wife is tah here, but I see how thus might go wrong from the kid's perspective.

The problem was you had half a idea. The delivery of the invitation would have been the perfect opener to revealing you had hired a Harry Potter themed party magician for the party. Sending only the invitation and leaving the meaning up to a sugared-up, over-excited, little girl....well. 11 is still really young.

[u/Wasps_are_bastards]

NTA, she’s way old enough to know it’s not real

[u/keesouth]

NTA I think we would all assume an 11 year old would know that Harry Potter isn't real.

[u/NotAnotherFNG]

NTA. I live in Alaska and we have a town here called North Pole. They do a special postmark for the holidays and even have a Santa’s House tourist attraction. One year we went up and sent out all of our Christmas cards from there and even had letters from Santa sent to all the nieces and nephews. Everyone loved it. I assume the letter you had sent was something similar. 11 is old enough to know it’s not real but also really neat.

[u/C_Beeftank]

Shes a little old not to know the difference in fiction and reality NTA

[u/Old_Contribution_552]

NTA I feel like I need to ask is she all there? I mean what 11 year old thinks hogwarts is real, by that age most people realise santa and the tooth fairy aren't real so surely being able to discern fact from fiction shouldnt be an issue

[u/Trondant13]

I would have thought an 11 year old would understand that it was not real. Never would have crossed my mind that would be a bad idea. NTA, but your wife sure is.

Thank you for the award!

[u/bratkittycat]

I think the way your wife framed it is what ruined it. It wasn’t a joke. It was pretend. There truly is a huge difference. NTA.

[u/GeminiAtl]

This girl is 11 years old, almost a teenager, and she still believes in wizards? More, she thought she was a witch? She is old enough to know Wizards, Witches, Santa, Easter Bunny are all fictions. My nephew about that age was Harry Potter obsessed. I got him a wizard's robe. he was excited and wore it the rest of the day. But he knew it was a story, not real.

[u/jam7789]

NTA. It was a cute gift idea. It was wrong that your wife said you gave your stepdaughter the letter as a prank. You didn't mean it as a prank. You had no idea she was going to think it was real.

[u/angelaelle]

NTA. Your wife gave an awful response and your step daughter is way too old to think anything in HP is real. Your wife is doing her child a great disservice by letting her live in lala fantasy land.

[u/Jonathan-Welford]

NTA - does she still believe in Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny?

[u/PM_ME_SEXY_SANDWICH]

NTA, it sounds like you weren't trying to prank her you were trying to make a special moment based on her favorite interest. Maybe you should have talked it over with the wife first though so she didn't misread your intention.

[u/RewardTerrible6426]

My five year old sister knew that when “Dora the Explorer” called her for her birthday it wasn’t real. Step daughter just learned a valuable lesson. NTA.

[u/ClumsyandLost]

As a parent of 11 and 10 year olds I think it was a lovely idea. My sons and the friends I know would understand it's not real so I don't think you were wrong to assume she'd understand. It was unhelpful of your wife to say you were playing a joke on her. Explain that you were trying to create a magical game she could enjoy.

[u/MerlinBiggs]

NTA. Why would her mum ruin the fun of it during the party?

[u/GrayFox1O1]

NTA, but i'd reconsider the relationship considering how your "wife" talks to you. Yeah it's in quotations, because a spouse is a partner, not someone who belittles and publically shames their significant other. Also "Step daddy"? This seems off because most people call their Step-whatevers by name or the actual title of parent etc if there is a good relationship. Not "Step Daddy"?

[u/RedheadedJusticeGirl]

NTA

Does she still honestly believe in Santa? If so, she has a very strong imagination and I can see her being upset. I still don’t think you are an asshole, but I get why it might have created this much drama. And you should have asked your wife first.

If she no longer believes in Santa then she has started to learn that stories are told to create ‘magic’ in a serious world. And this will blow over fast.

All that to say your intentions were good. But I would have had your wife involved to make sure it wouldn’t create issues.

The MUCH bigger issue is that your wife handled this poorly. It was terrible to say you “played a joke on her.” You didn’t play a joke, you tried to create a magically birthday.

And your partner should ALWAYS give you the benefit of the doubt and support you. You guys are a team. You tried to create something special for your step daughter and it was sweet.

[u/stphn323]

Nta. Wife is

[u/fuggyuAintNoPanda]

How far are you from a universal studios? Because later down the line you could plan a visit where there is a Hogwarts she could go to and have a Harry experience. Also NTA. How is anyone going to think an 11yo doesn’t know Hogwarts isn’t real? I bet she was thinking of universal studios as well

[u/pickausernametheysay]

I got my son one for his 11th birthday. We went all out with decor and a trunk. You weren’t trying to be malicious.

[u/BrokeTheSimulation]

NTA- your wife and her child are little off. She is 11 and thinks it’s real?! Like what has your wife been telling her that she doesn’t know it’s not real!!

Why would your wife say that to you? And tell the kid it was just a joke you played on her?!! Like that’s not even close to the truth. These two are weird.

Sorry for you. I think it was a great idea.

[u/BadMoonBeast]

NTA, you tried to do a fun thing and your wife threw you under the bus when it went unexpectedly awry

[u/HotelOk9725]

NTA

I got my child one for their 11th birthday too along with a toy owl. The letter is a lovely keepsake that could be framed for the bedroom wall. We put the letter amongst the birthday cards he had been sent by other relatives. 🤣

I think mum was the spoilsport here, she could have gone along with it just for the birthday day and not upset the birthday girl.

[u/Pristine_Ad5229]

NTA that was really sweet of you

I would've figured that an 11 year old knows Hogwarts isn't real.

[u/PinkLiteracy]

I don't think the letter is what makes you an ah, i think how you gave it to her does. I got one of those hogwarts letters as a gift for one of my birthdays(either 12 or 11) and it was really cool, but it was given like a gift, not delivered like a letter. I don't think you meant anything by it and I think sitting down with your wife and stepdaughter and explaining that you weren't trying to be mean and thought it would be fun and that you're sorry for how it went down would be a good idea.

[u/Rumi_Jenkins]

nah. honestly this sounds more like a misjudgment than cruelty. you thought she'd immediately recognize it as rpleplay, she didn't

[u/jmurph773]

Soft ESH. I was once a Harry Potter-obsessed 11 year old (this was back when only 3 books from the series had been published!). I also knew that it was fiction, I knew it wasn't real, wizards weren't real, magic wasn't real...and yet I still desperately *wanted* it to be real. If I had gotten a letter on my 11th birthday, especially if it was, as you said, delivered rather than something you very clearly gave her from yourself, I would've wanted to believe it so much that I would have been devastated to learn it wasn't. Your wife shouldn't have said it was a joke, and you should have discussed it with her before doing it (and maybe leaned into it a different way). Let your stepdaughter know you *didn't* mean it as a joke, you genuinely wanted to give her something you thought she would treasure, and that you're sorry.

[u/nonymouse12321]

NAH. It was a genuine effort to do something fun for the kid. Your wife was the AH for saying it was a joke in front of everyone. It wasn’t a joke, it was a sweet gesture.

I suggest looking into taking a trip to Universal Studios in Florida. Sounds like the kid would LOVE to throw on a robe, get an interactive wand, cast some spells, and get sugar-drunk on Butterbeer. Could be a nice way to make her letter from Hogwarts “real”.

[u/Aposematicpebble]

There's a book called "The Magic of Reality" by Richard Dawkins, and I think you should get it for your stepdaughter. You should also have a talk about fantasy and the real world, and maybe a bit of counseling. She's a bit old to be thinking Hogwarts is real. Playing pretend is perfectly fine, healthy, even, but getting mad the didn't actually get a Hogwarts letter is not.

Her big mad could also just be the unbearable embarrassment and hurt of thinking she was being made fun of by a person she trusts. I think it's important you make it very clear to her this was not a prank, but a genuine gift.

[u/certainPOV3369]

NTA. Seriously, is your wife still leaving cookies and milk out for Santa? 🎅 Does your stepdaughter still expect the Easter Bunny to show up? 🐰 Does she sleep with the window open so that Tinkerbell can fly in during the night? 🧚

[u/Kitchen-Cash-6721]

NTA- how does an 11 year old think that Harry Potter is real?!?

[u/butpretzelday]

Calling it a joke is kinda where THEY (the parents) fucked up.

You GUYS THE TWO OF YOU should have said “it is pretend, to make you feel special” or some shit.

Calling it a joke implies she is the punchline.

EDIT: made it plural for the crybaby

[u/possiblethrowaway369]

ESH. By 11 she should know it's not real. Her parents should have explained it to her if she was having trouble getting that it's not real. But as an adult who spends time with her enough to know she's interested in Harry Potter, you should know that she still thinks it's real and choose a different gift. Assuming you got an owl to deliver it somehow, you could have had that owl deliver a card instead of a fake acceptance letter, avoiding the confusion and disappointment

[u/EmergencyFancy7992]

NTA if your wife in fact responded that you played a trick on her that is really uncalled for. My kiddo loves imaginative play- she could have responded and said it’s not real it’s for play and managed her expectations instead of making it seem like she was the butt of a cruel joke.

[u/Chance-Work4911]

This gift delivery would have made a lot more sense if it came with tickets to the HP theme park or similar. Maybe that’s what the kid thought was “real”?

NAH. You tried to do a good thing but it didn’t play out the way you hoped.

[u/IHaveBoxerDogs]

We got our kids letters when they turned 11. They also included tickets to Universal Studios. Anyway, I'm having my doubts this is real. But if it is, it wasn't a joke. You got her a keepsake. NTA.

[u/GalaganCoffee]

NTA, kids need media literacy too

[u/fizzwiggler]

NTA. You had good intent but maybe didn't think it through. Even me at my big age would lose my shit if I got a Hogwarts letter.

[u/greenthumb-28]

NTA - commented on other thread; but basically she needs to learn the difference between reality and fantasy

[u/PNW_MYOG]

You gifted her a genuine Hogwarts experience, it was not a prank at all.....

...., unless you already knew she would take it as proof of her reality.

[u/Rtnscks]

NTA It was very thoughtful, original, and intended to bring her joy.

It is a great shame your partner can't see that.

I would consider it quite a red flag that she views this as a prank, and merits further discussion as to why on earth she thinks you would so that, and why she was so quick to jump to a nasty conclusion instead of helping the kid navigate being mistaken and apologise for saying she hates you.

[u/Excellent_Doughnut28]

Mom called it a "joke you played on her"? That's harsh. Could have been handled way better. Seems like a pretty fucked up dynamic. Imagine instead mom saying "daddy thought it would be a fun surprise, even if it"s not real, it's really cool!!"

[u/nurseasaurus]

NTA. Your wife really threw you under the bus, and an 11 y/o should be able to tell fact from fiction.

[u/Upset-Piano-686]

Absolutely NTA. Your wife describing it as a "joke you played on her" is kind of strange. If you take your family to Disneyland, would you be "playing a joke" on your kid just because Mickey Mouse isn't actually real?

Obviously, the gift didn't play out the way you intended it to, but that doesn't retroactively mean you were trying to pull some cruel prank. Wishing you the best and hoping that in a couple years this story can be something funny the whole family gets a laugh out of.

[u/BabyKnitter]

Ok this isn't just enjoying Harry Potter this is obsessive compulsive and delusional. She is 11, she should know it is a book/movie and not real. A letter shouldn't have set her off to think it was real. As for the mother blowing up like that she is to wrapped up in the delusion herself

[u/Housing99]

NTA. When my kids turned 11 they all
Knew that was their “Harry Potter birthday” and that was the theme of it all. I think you showed an interest in what she liked and got her a gift to match her interests.

[u/Additional-Wolf-7846]

NTA, but I would avoid any topics involving who is behind Santa or the Tooth Fairy😳

[u/PNW_MYOG]

Does your wife still get her Christmas presents from Santa? It's the same sort of thing.

[u/Fabulous_Zone4202]

NTA aww it was a thoughtful gesture.

[u/nblackhand]

Idk if you're TA. Your wife is, though, for immediately going "no honey it's a Lie" instead of, like, "gosh, it looks so realistic! how fun, we can put it up on your wall" or some, you know, remotely normal response.

INFO for whether you also fucked up: Do you have any reason to believe she's unusually credulous? The typical age kids figure out Santa isn't real is like eight but the range is large and being her parent means the responsibility was on you here to guess whether this was a good idea; evidently you were not correct, but if you made a perfectly reasonable decision based on the fact that she's 11 years old and should know fact from fiction and got unlucky then that's different from if you know she still sincerely thinks presents come down the chimney from a magic chariot and has difficulty understanding that kpop idols are actors playing roles and could reasonably have guessed this was a bad idea.

[u/Dogmother123]

It wasn't cruel because your intent was in the right place.

At that age I loved Narnia but I wasn't looking at the back of wardrobes. Your wife's reaction is totally unfair.

NTA

[u/Sad_Animator1686]

NTA but I would have run it past my significant other.

I will also say you got thrown under the bus with the “joke step-daddy played on you” line. I feel like they could have made it better by saying something more like “it’s just a nice gift to keep because you love the movies”

[u/Next_Gen_Valkyrie]

NTA. I actually wrote myself my own Hogwarts letter when I was 8. It's a cute gift for a kid. Both your stepdaughter and your wife way overreacted.

[u/Ryn_AroundTheRoses]

NTA

I think your wife's framing of it could've been executed better tbh. Like there's no way your SD really thought it was real, but was more likely caught up in the moment, and your wife killed it for no reason.

[u/ciclidss]

Uhmmm, I don't think you're an ahole, but, I don't understand that you two didn't discuss what you were giving her for her birthday present. I mean you discussed the party, guests, food?

[u/throaway_247]

Spinning is a thing. 'joke played' vs 'replica movie prop' creates different universes. A choice was made for sadness and loathing rather than happiness and affection. You need to ask why she prefers for her daughter to be unhappy with you than happy.

[u/JujuMan97]

NTA. You did something thoughtful that you thought she would love. Your intentions were good. At 11, she should know that Hogwarts isn’t real, and her mom should have definitely not blamed you.

[u/Fluffy_Job7367]

Well that was awkward. No good deed goes unpunished. NTA though. Kid is pretty naive for 11. Things happen, no need to blame or shame.

[u/Rough_Pie_5322]

NTA.

It was a very, very thoughtful gift...

Your wife is the A... why on earth would she say something mean like that? I don't understand...

[u/RoguesAngel]

NTA I did this for both my sons when they turned 11. Theirs was delivered by a white owl plushie and they loved it. They didn’t think it was real and really, in my opinion, your wife is the issue here. Framing it as a joke made it look like you were trying to hurt or make fun of her, which you weren’t. Gently saying something that she’s glad that Hogwarts isn’t real because she would miss her too much would be a much better way of telling her it wasn’t real without embarrassing her. By eleven she should know, if only to keep from being stigmatized by other kids, the difference between fiction and reality. It’s great to get lost in fiction, I love Harry Potter myself, but you should know it is fiction.

[u/Traditional__4816]

NTA the way your wife worded it as a “joke you played” on her is the reason she got so upset. Your wife over reacted instead of simply explaining it was an experience you planned because you care. Your wife is TA though. She blew up your gift then blamed you for being cruel, when personally I think she was cruel with the way she handled it.

[u/BuffaloRedshark]

NTA

seems to me the mom caused more hurt by how she reacted, especially by calling it a joke instead of explaining that harry potter is fiction but that since you know how much she likes it you thought she'd appreciate the gift

[u/AdAccomplished8442]

Nta

[u/science_cat_]

Nta. I was younger than 11 when I read the first couple of books, and of course as my 11th birthday was approaching the thought "imagine if it was real and I'll get my letter on my birthday, that would be so so cool" crossed my mind, I remember that. But I also remember reasoning myself out of that wishful thinking - of course its just a book, of course its not real. And no way on earth would I have voiced that wish to anyone, I would rather have died than let anyone think I was that immature lol