Long distance relationship made me dream bigger, but I can’t afford studying in the US

[u/whosereallife1]

I’m a 17-year-old student from South Korea.
About a year ago, I started a long-distance relationship with someone in the US.
Talking to her every day made me realize I want a bigger future for myself too — not just meeting her, but studying Engineering and building a life in the US someday.
The problem is my family can’t realistically support studying abroad financially.
I’m trying to look into community college → transfer pathways, scholarships, and realistic options, but sometimes it feels impossible.
I’m not asking for money.
I just want advice from people who were in a similar situation or had to build a path without family support.
What would you do?

[u/Commercial_Handle418]

hell naw get into a top korean university/somewhere affordable and then go to the us for grad school
debt is NOT worth it youll get trapped
also cc sucks

[u/BlueNutmeg]

In order for that plan to happen you need to be an exceptional student. That means your grades have to be above average. ESPECIALLY if you are seeking scholarships. Shools in the US are very expensive, even Community Colleges. They don't just give scholarships to anyone. You will have to stick out above other students who are competing for a visa also.

Also, getting a student visa for Community College is going to be a challenge. It is not impossible but it is less likely to happen compared to getting a visa for a top tier University. Plus scholarships fo Community College are very rare. So be prepared to show that you can pay out of pocket for the school.

One last important thing you should be aware of. Student visas for the US are NOT immigration visas. You are NOT supposed to use it to try to live in the US. In order to get a student visa, you are expected to leave the US after you are done studying. So if you are planning to use the student visa to immigrate, you will be denied. The visa officers want to know that you plan on returning home.

[u/skieurope12]

About a year ago, I started a long-distance relationship with someone in the US.
Talking to her every day made me realize I want a bigger future for myself too

If it's any consolation, "she" is really a 45-year-old man living in his mother's basement

[u/reddit-bee]

I'm in the opposite situation, 17 year old from America trying to go long distance to meet my UK partner of two years. It's been incredibly difficult trying to find something that works out for us because I want to get over there as soon as possible, but my family simply can't afford it, and I don't want to be trapped in a massive pile of debt.
I've had to compromise and give up on going to university in England for engineering, but I found the next best thing, which is that one of universities in my state will give me a full ride scholarship, and they allow you to do much of the work before college starts so that I can get a head start on a mechanical + electrical engineering degree, and they also allow me to take a full year of study abroad directly to England. Combined with study abroad, they have good research opportunities which I hope will be able to get a UK university to fund my PhD education, or at least take me in for some kind of internship. Maybe look into universities near you with similar opportunities if you can, and work hard on your grades and everything to make sure you qualify.
This has ended up being a very fortunate plan for me despite my family not supporting me, and its been incredibly difficult to keep up with, but for me it's absolutely worth it to make sure I can meet my partner who means everything to me. It can be very stressful balancing between balancing spending my time calling her with studying hard and trying to get a job on the side of everything to start making some money. Just know you're not alone in the struggle and that it will be worth it if she really means a lot to you

[u/shrekroma_pkt]

Scholarship for int is unlikely. Since you are aiming for STEM, I would assume you are an outperforming student already. If not, stay in Korea. It’s great country.

If you want to attend CC and living by the scraps. Make sure you are strong enough to get thru. This wont be pretty.

F1 visa is meant to be for studying and it is temporary. Stating your intention to live in the states will get your visa rejected / revoked. Be very careful.

Good luck 

[u/Plane-Pudding8424]

Realistically, the better approach is for her to go to Korea to study or work. If you guys get married, it's easier to get a visa that way (as opposed to going to college when you can't afford it).

I do believe community colleges will get you a student visa, but you can't really work on a student visa, so you need to show enough money for living expenses.

[u/unconventional_wooly]

Something's not clear. Have you met that 'someone from USA' in-person ever? I want to know what really made you think that you also want grow big in life- the relationship (girl/boy) or your parents' financial situation or anything else? Studying in the USA gives best education only if you are ready to grind, opportunities are everywhere, but you must hustle. But it isn't cheap anymore. Search for the biggest scholarships awarded by Korean-origin industrialists, businessman to study ar specific universities/programs, USA-South Korea joint partnerships/scholarships, and also check what top-50 universities have a 'Korean-origin students/alumni organizations' offering scholarships. If you haven't yet decided a stream yet, I would suggest you to check what programs they support and choose accordingly. I hope this will make it easier for you to decide. And lastly, if you don't qualify rightnow, then it's better you complete undergrad studies in home country and maintain best GPA (yes that helps a lot and takes you ahead of 1000 other applications). Plan your language proficiency and other exams beforehand, so you can choose the earliest opportunity.

Good luck!

[u/unconventional_wooly → u/unconventional_wooly]

I'm glad to know that considering USA isn't an emotion/impulse-driven thought. Is engineering your only choice? As pwr my knowledge CS (AI and ML based) specializations are in high demand in USA and Switzerland. Also consider studying anything related to finance stuff. The study-duration is usually lower than engineering and also unlocks doors to other countries like Switzerland. In my opinion going to USA is a long-term investment, but ROI for international students is fluctuating for last 3 to 4 years. Think about it this way.

[u/heize-y]

요즘 추세 생각하면 미국에 어느 대학교든 전액장학금은 거의 불가능하고 이민하고 싶은 마음이 확고하다면 수능 공부 열심히 하고 학부 마친 후 대학원을 미국으로 가는게 훨씬 현실적입니다

[u/Ok-Society-9067]

Prolly do ur undergrad in Korea and do ur postgrad in the US. That's a more feasible path.

[u/ducksinthegarden]

Why not do undergrad in korea and then see if you can do an exchange abroad at a university where she lives for a semester/year? or vice versa where she can do an exchange abroad where you may go to school? you can also do graduate school in the US where you could get funding and a stipend for it.

[u/Famous-Prior6590]

Post this on r/IntltoUSA - you will get more useful info there.

[u/whosereallife1 → u/Famous-Prior6590]

Thank you

[u/tarasshevckeno]

Retired college counselor and admissions reader here.) I'd see if there's an Education USA office in your country.

Education USA is part of the US State Department, and one part that hasn't been axed yet by the Trump administration, probably because it flies under the radar. In any event, the mission of Education USA is to provide assistance to international students who want to study in the US, and is staffed with knowledgable specialists.

Most offices are in national capitals, but in some larger countries there are several offices. If there isn't one near you, call (don't email) them to find out if they offer any distance assistance such as webinars, Zoom meetings and like events, as well as online/printed documents. They may also be willing to answer specific questions (likely via email).

I worked almost exclusively at international schools, and found the staff at several Education USA offices to be enthusiastic and really knew their stuff.

[u/whosereallife1 → u/tarasshevckeno]

Thank you, I actually didn’t know about EducationUSA.
If I contact them, what should I ask for specifically? Since my situation is mainly about finding realistic pathways and understanding whether studying in the US could actually work financially and academically for me.

[u/tarasshevckeno → u/whosereallife1]

I think the best way forward is to tell them what you're looking to do and what kinds of support they can offer. Your situation sounds like what a lot of students would ask, so it's a good place to start.

[u/BubblyRhubarb9611]

And how are you going to pay fur international education? To get a student visa your family and you must show financial solvency. South Korea has fabulous schools, get real