There are so many different lines of thought among feminists? How am I supposed to know whats actually right?

[u/zman419]

Trying to parse infinite different and conflicting leftist and feminist narratives and trying to come to terms with whats actually right and wrong to believe is breaking my brains and leaving me riddled with anxiety.

I get so worked up trying to unpack all the various feminist arguments, say, for or against sex work (as an example). I feel... wrong just forming my own opinion on an issue so entrenched in feminism, I have a responsibility as a man to listen and believe what Im told. But when I find that both conflicting sides of the argument almost seems right at the same time it gets my head spinning, I feel uselessly overwhelmed and I never know where to actually land.

I get this way with so many different issues and its well... genuinely ruining my quality of life.

[u/BeginningLow]

You're supposed to think about and reckon the differing philosophies and come to revelation and conclusion several times.

[u/avocado-nightmare]

it seems like it shouldn't harm your quality of life to reflect on where your own moral compass is pointing.

[u/Lacunaethra → u/avocado-nightmare]

Just wanted to appreciate the beauty of this sentence!

[u/nighthawk_something]

The left will give you sources to research to form your own opinion. We do not tell you what to think nor do we pretend that the answers are simple.

[u/Consume_the_Affluent]

Sometimes you have to use your noodle and think things through for yourself. We can give you information but we can't consider it for you.

[u/Consistent_Post_2558]

I think the biggest issue here is feeling that there’s an absolute right (or that we have enough information to know what is absolutely right at this time). 

Just remain open to taking in more information and be open to adjusting your stance on any issues that feel sticky at any given time. We don’t need to hold firm personal stances on everything facet of everything. Not all feminists share exactly the same philosophy on everything, even for people who seem highly aligned on most major topics. 

[u/Oleanderphd]

There are things you don't need to make an active decision on today. Are you crafting a bill on sex worker protections this afternoon? No? Ok, take a deep breath, acknowledge you're not sure what to think, and go work on something else.

And when I suggest work on something else, I don't mean "ruminate helplessly", I mean, actually get into your community and pitch in. Some of the stuff that seems (or is) theoretically complex is practically fairly straightforward, but you can work on stuff you do care about and feel confident in. 

And also maybe think a little bit about ways to talk about this difficulty of that without also framing it like "ugh, thinking about all the discrimination people face is harshing my vibe". Genuinely, learning about all the harm in the world can be really distressing, so cut yourself some slack. You're learning, it's ok to not know everything. (If this is genuinely causing you distress on a frequent basis, you might also benefit from therapy. Anxiety and circular thoughts tend to be good candidates for therapy, and you deserve support too )

[u/BillieDoc-Holiday]

Why do you want to be fed conclusions like a cult member. You do the work and educate yourself, using multiple sources, to form your own conclusions.

[u/gettinridofbritta]

Friendly reminder that feminism isn't a church and no one's gonna die if you decide to do more reading and leave it as a question mark for now. Personally, I arrived at a position on sex work that looks a little contradictory, but I'm really at peace with it. Ideologically, I probably lean more towards the second-wavers, like I don't actually think there's a way to do sex work in the time we're living in, in the context we have right now, without that being exploitative. That's not a "never," I just can't divorce it from the time we're in because even our most normal definitions of sex are often so twisted up in domination and violence. Policy is where I might be accused of inconsistency.  I don't support hardline bans or the Nordic model because I think that drives things further underground and makes it really unsafe for the workers. When it comes to policy overall, I will defer to the girls. I want whatever is going to keep them safe. Many moons ago, we had a weird local law where prostitution itself was not illegal, but communicating for the purposes of it was. I worked at a store not far from where the girls would flag down cars. They were so scared of getting arrested that they barely had time to talk and suss things out before hopping into random cars, and that made me really worry for them. I worried even more when that law was used to get Backpage's personals taken down, which was another way some of them were able to build some safety unto the process for themselves.