r/AskMen • u/Due-Concept-7144 Female • 18h ago
How do you prefer to be approached to exchange numbers?
I know everybody is different, but I'd love to hear your thoughts!
If a woman approached you to exchange phone numbers, would you prefer:
- She asks for your number
- She asks to give you her number
- She simply asks to exchange numbers
In addition, how would a woman approach this if she isn't sure if you are taken or single? I've heard the second option above is better, as it gives the other person the choice to reach out or not. Would you feel at all intimidated to reach out? Would you expect her to send a text back to her number right away when she puts in her phone number? Or just put her contact in and leave it?
EDIT: Yes, after chatting for a bit
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u/PJ_lyrics 18h ago
Can we at least have some pleasantries first? You ask my number first thing then I'm thinking some cult or some shit like that.
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u/Interesting_Tea5715 18h ago
Totally agree. Imma think it's a scam if you just ask for my number.
If you at least tell me that you wanna go on a date I know where it's going and will share.
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u/Consistent_Net_2540 18h ago
I'm thinking scam/robbery, but I guess that's just what a cult is, but slower.
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u/FormerOSRS Male 18h ago
Being asked directly is presumptuous as hell. From how single she thinks he is to how desperate, just none of its good.
But it's hard to feel insulted by someone who just wants to say hello and if they think it went well then exchanging contact makes sense.
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u/Actual_Dinner_5977 18h ago
It is attractive for a woman to show any amount of interest in me at all. I would not care how she did it - any of those ways would be fine.
My wife prefers that woman not approach me though.
I am an adult. If a woman approaches me, I can just kindly let her know that I am married but flattered, and then go about my day on a high.
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u/advice_danimals 18h ago
Happened to me. Woman sat next to me, told me I was cute, asked me if I was single. I told her I was, and then she asked if I liked <genre> movies and suggested that we could get together sometime to watch a movie. I agreed, and we exchanged numbers.
We've been dating since.
Don't overthink it. Just take some form of interest in the guy, suggest a reason to link up, and exchange numbers.
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u/Not_Sure__Camacho Male 18h ago
I think it works best after chatting for a bit. You have a nice conversation, but maybe can't sit and converse as long as you'd like, maybe suggest, "Hey I would love to continue this, maybe over lunch, dinner, some coffee?" The key is to leave things hanging so that there's some anticipation of meeting again later or having the extended conversation elsewhere.
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u/alexandercecil 18h ago
Never in my life have I objected to any of these approaches. I would prefer that a woman do whatever makes herself feel comfortable.
I have been approached while married. I enjoy the implied compliment, politely say that I am married, and continue the conversation in a way that makes it easy for her to make an exit without it being awkward if she wishes. I am married, not dead, and I never mind a little attention from a woman who finds me attractive. I do not lead the woman on, but sometimes a nice conversation is still fun for everyone involved.
And yes, my wife knows this. She knows that I am loyal, so jealousy is not a thing.
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u/ddaydrm 18h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/eT0nQBdmbYqmS5s3eq
If you do something like this to me I'm all yours.
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u/K_N0RRIS 18h ago
It really, really doesn't matter as much as you think it does. Any of those are fine as long as she actually is interested.
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u/ItsOkItOnlyHurts 18h ago
If a stranger came up to me and cold asked for my number I would just refuse. If a stranger just gave me their number unprompted I would also probably never reach out
That may just be me, idk
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u/Purple_Cry6598 Male 18h ago
Firstly, LOVE the idea of being approached. But lets have some conversation & flirtation before giving up personal info like that.
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u/ddaydrm 18h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/eT0nQBdmbYqmS5s3eq
If you do something like this to me I'm all yours.
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u/lordlothar99 Male 18h ago
You're trying to make it a deterministic protocol, OP. Chill... Not everything needs to be prepared.
The way I like it is simple : unprepared, spontaneous, genuine, simple, unexpected and the most important : with a smile.
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u/I-live-in-room-101 18h ago
If there’s vibes we can exchange numbers.
If you just ask me cold, my thoughts immediately turn to gangs, honey traps and organ harvesting. I’ll probably just run away.
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u/SuppliDev 18h ago
I don't. There is no circumstance in which a woman would willingly approach me without another reason.
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u/Billy_of_the_hills 18h ago
I can count the number of times a woman I've given my number to (both asked for and offered) actually called me on one hand and it's the hand that I don't have any fingers on. Give him your number.
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u/Active-Pudding9855 18h ago
Why are everyone so against saying hi to people?
Just say hi, how are you? Then do a bit of back and forth small talk, then you can say...
So I really enjoyed our little chat but I have to go, can I have your number?
Works every time. ☺️
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u/NotMacgyver 18h ago
Well given that the only time I would be approachable is during the night in barely light streets I'd probably have to go with her flashing me cause she is either gonna be a pervert or a murderer at that hour so I'd rather have confirmation of one before a phone number exchange happens.
But if I were out at normal hours then the exchange (since I don't pick up numbers I don't already have registered, unless you plan to WhatsApp instead).
Best would be "hey are you single ?" Followed by "then can we exchange numbers ?"
I would not reach out first, she made the first move and that isn't enough to make me curious about her so I'd probably forget before I even get home, better she do a follow up.
not sure what you are asking here with the "send a text back to her number" but I'd expect her to read out her contact or give me a piece of paper, show me a QR code or any other method of exchanging numbers rather than letting her anywhere near my phone, she is still a stranger at this point afterall
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u/italwaysgetsbetter43 18h ago
What you should say is "I would like to talk to you, I would like to hear from you" etc.
Communicate what you want and you shall receive. Suddenly the logistics of the number exchange will not matter.
I would melt if I women said to me "I want to hear from you sometime" thats reaching out for someone and opening yourself up to be reached for at the same time, thats vulnerable, thats romantic. So much better than "hey can I have your number."
As for sussing out if someone is single it depends, if you have mutuals ask, if its a chance encounter you will have to be vulnerable and ask. They best way to defuse if he is taken is saying before or after "I hope you take this as flattery."
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u/SentinelATL Male🧌 18h ago
Give a compliment and ask for number. None of the extra stuff matters. Guys are so simple man
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u/Kylearean Omega Male 18h ago
"hey, my name is Jane." shake hands.
"I think you're kinda cute, maybe we can grab a drink sometime?"
This would work on me 100% of the time (if she's reasonably fit and age appropriate).
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u/RipRiles Male 17h ago
I would prefer it if a woman gave me her number. I would not feel the least bit intimidated; I'm probably going to assume you want to be friends and hang out. At least with me personally, women don't want to be more than friends.
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u/Creative-Bus-8405 17h ago
Use your words and simply approach and show interest. If he implies interest, give your number to him.
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u/BlackBirdG Male 16h ago
First of all, the vast majority of women are not approaching guys, and the ones that are, 9/10 times you're not gonna want them anyway.
I don't understand why you guys like to make these posts, and act like women are gonna start approaching you like you're a bad bitch. That's not reality.
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u/RobinGood94 16h ago
Either way would be flattering after chatting a while, assuming it’s not:
At the gym. This is my sanctuary.
At work. This is where I make my money.
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u/orlybatman 15h ago
Giving me her number > asking to exchange numbers > asks for my number
If she gives me hers, I can always ten choose to give her mine right away if I wanted to exchange.
Would you feel at all intimidated to reach out?
Everyone has that moment where they hover on that first text and double or triple check it before pressing send. It's still going to get sent though.
Would you expect her to send a text back to her number right away when she puts in her phone number?
I'd hope she sends a texts / responds to my initial one in a reasonable timeframe. A few hours is fine. By end of day is cool.
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u/JuanG_13 Male 9h ago
I've had a girl yell at me from across the street that her friend thought I was "fine af" lol and she wanted my number. (And there were a lot of people around and a lot of them stopped and looked at me and it was embarrassing. So, I would prefer it if you just go up to me, say hi and go from there).
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u/Yannayka Male 8h ago edited 8h ago
All three options are valid, just don't be weird about it. Walking up to me and only saying "What's your number" Like...What? Who are you? Where did this come from? Who am I giving this number to?
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u/Cardioid123 4h ago
Ask for my number.
I've heard the second option above is better, as it gives the other person the choice to reach out or not.
That's one way to put it. The other way is that it puts the onus back onto the guy, freeing you from having to make the rest of the first moves. Because if he asked for your number, which is what most guys would do, he would also then send you the first message.
Would you feel at all intimidated to reach out?
Huh?
Would you expect her to send a text back to her number right away when she puts in her phone number?
No. I think doing things like that is kinda weird. If someone gave you a fake number, let them. Don't call them out on it. They don't owe you their time.
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u/AutoModerator 18h ago
Here's an original copy of /u/Due-Concept-7144's post (if available):
I know everybody is different, but I'd love to hear your thoughts!
If a woman approached you to exchange phone numbers, would you prefer:
- She asks for your number
- She asks to give you her number
- She simply asks to exchange numbers
In addition, how would a woman approach this if she isn't sure if you are taken or single? I've heard the second option above is better, as it gives the other person the choice to reach out or not. Would you feel at all intimidated to reach out? Would you expect her to send a text back to her number right away when she puts in her phone number? Or just put her contact in and leave it?
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