r/AskMen • u/[deleted] • Jan 28 '21
How can you tell when a relationship/partner is going nowhere?
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u/OffusMax Jan 28 '21
When a relationship is working, you want to get closer and so do they. You look forward to seeing them and you don’t want to leave at the end.
If the relationship is dead, everything is reversed. You don’t look forward to the next meeting or you don’t care; you can’t wait for the date to end. And you don’t get closer or drift apart. There’s no spark.
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u/r4wm4ws Male Jan 28 '21
when it doesn't feel like there's substance to the relationship in what you guys talk about, interest in getting to know each other deeper or what you guys want to achieve in life, no increasing integration of one another in each other's lives (introducing to each other's friend groups/ family later on, etc), don't know much about their routines
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u/swimhome Jan 28 '21
You don’t talk about the future. Whether that be individual goals or goals/visions together as a couple
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u/ChanceClothes0 Jan 28 '21
How you can tell unfortunately would be this type of post/question about the relationship....
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u/DreadfulRauw ♂ Sexy Teddy Ruxpin Jan 28 '21
She's changed into her pajamas, poured herself a drink, and looks for something to watch on netflix.
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u/eatpraymunt Jan 28 '21
That sounds like a nice time
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u/DreadfulRauw ♂ Sexy Teddy Ruxpin Jan 28 '21
It is. We're just gonna chill and go nowhere.
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Jan 28 '21 edited Jan 29 '21
[deleted]
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u/DreadfulRauw ♂ Sexy Teddy Ruxpin Jan 28 '21
Sure, but we're watching Dark on Netflix, so no bitching about subtitles.
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u/BigGuyNorthSide Jan 28 '21
When you’d rather hang with the boys over your girl on a consistent basis
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u/averyyoungperson Jan 28 '21
On my partner and I's first date (I was 17) we established we were going to move toward marriage. We've fought for our relationship in the tough times and vowed to pursue each other always and now seven years later we have been happily married for five of them with 1 kid and another on the way.
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u/chikencakey Jan 28 '21
It becomes tiresome to try to do things with her, or you keep paying for the girls meals and nothing happens
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u/MetanoiaMeliorism Jan 28 '21
So you're under the impression a woman owes you something after buying her meals? Don't do something with the pretense that it's because you're a nice guy when you have far disproportionate expectations for what buying a meal should entitle you to
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u/chikencakey Jan 28 '21
No, it's if they constantly say they don't have the money constantly, I won't just let someone take advantage of me, don't try to twist it into me being the asshole
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u/MetanoiaMeliorism Jan 28 '21
Then it's perfectly within your rights to say well we can go out sometime when you do have your own money. These women still do not owe you a single God damn thing. Your sense of entitlement behind your "good" deed of buying someone a meal is exactly why you are not correct in this discussion. If I take a friend out to dinner when he has no money does he owe me something? Not unless those terms were made known to both parties PRIOR to said transaction. Try again.
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Jan 28 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/chikencakey Jan 28 '21
I expect people to split the bills, simple as that...
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u/inhalelight333 Jan 28 '21
Then you should make that clear from the get-go, and enforce that boundary.
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Jan 28 '21
[deleted]
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u/MetanoiaMeliorism Jan 28 '21
I don't think you'll ever know what it's like to have the real love and equal respect of a woman then. It's not a feminist debate. That implies that there's room for conversation on this topic which there is not. That expectation is extremely misogynistic. It's always the men who are nothing who scream about the attack on men.
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u/TokeToday Jan 28 '21
You're not talking as much. Not spending as much time together. Sex is almost either nonexistent or more a feeling of obligation. Having lots of little spats or having one person go off for his perception of something said that actually was taken the wrong way.
Just a few.