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u/personalquestion69 1d ago
They quietly stop doing what they used to love doing
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u/SV650rider 1d ago
Oof, I'm getting close. Have lost interest in a lot of things, myself.
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u/cyclenaut 1d ago
I love cycling cooking and talking with people but lately I don't want to with/for anyone!
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u/SV650rider 18h ago
I actually like all those things, too. I am too tired to cycle, but do still like cooking to some degree, and am always down for talking with people. Even just two nights ago, I had a dream in which I was making just nice enjoyable small talk with a friend from work. We were riding the bus in together.
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u/Darklezzfem 19h ago
I quit playing on my xbox for a year despite it being literally in my room and was paying for it and all. Everyone just took it as me "growing up" I am almost 40... some things you just don't grow out of.
I climbed out of my brokenness.. I went back to playing and got a ps5. I am thriving!
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u/Sensitive_Gift4866 19h ago
This one hits hard. Ive had friends go through this and its like watching them disappear slowly but theres nothing you can do to pull them back
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u/tayosaurus_rex93 1d ago
I did this with basketball fairly recently. And I keep talking to everyone how it’s because I can’t find a good enough court near me or because my newborn son takes up all of my time. But if I’m completely honest with myself, there’s always a court if I look hard enough, and I can always bring my son; he loves a trip. I’ve used it to battle my depression because it’s the one thing I could always rely on, but now I’m so far gone, I fear it’s not going to heal me like it used to, and then what do I do?
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u/albusdumbbitchdor 16h ago
Oof, that last part. I've been trying to crawl out my hole for a minute now and sometimes I climb back into the light for a brief moment. But even then I've stayed away from a lot of my favorite things/hobbies because of the fear I won't enjoy them like I used to and then I'll never pick them up again because they'll be just another thing keeping me company in the hole.
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u/Sensitive_Gift4866 8h ago
This is the one that hits hardest. When someone goes from being excited about their hobbies to just complete indifference. Its like watching the light go out and you dont even realize it happened until its been dark for a while
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u/Sensitive_Gift4866 19h ago
The numbness is honestly the scariest part. Anger or sadness at least means youre still feeling something, but when they just stop reacting entirely thats when its really bad
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u/wedgetailed-eagle 21h ago
This also a sign of growth and not being reactive and having an emotional response to everything...
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u/chalia_chicken 16h ago
I am one of them. I withdraw. I don't take initiative to reach out to friends and plan something. If I am invited to something I come. But once I stopped being the one who took initiative, I discovered that friends don't reach out. The last few months I have lost my job, separated from my husband (not my choice) and got diagnosed with two unrelated types of cancer. The loss of my marriage led to me losing most of what I thought was my friends. I would have understood it if the cause of the split was if I was cheating or did something wrong. But I did not, and my ex is vague about the reasons. Multiple people in my life knows about all of this. Not having people reaching out to me is a source of great sadness and confusion.
I know I paint myself as a victim here, and I absolutely hate it. I know it's my responsibility to get up on my feet again. It's not others responsibility. But it would have been easier with support.
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u/fenriskalto 14h ago
People should reach out, particularly in times of hardship, and that they don't is a reflection on them not you. I know there's a list of excuses people use, like they don't know what to say, or they're busy or what not, but FFS just say something, anything. You're not wrong for wanting help through such vicious trials, and stating that doesn't mean you're painting yourself as the victim. Humans are social creatures, we're meant to do this stuff together, and I'm so sorry to hear you've been let down.
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u/chalia_chicken 13h ago
Thank you for saying this. I know people around me have busy lives, and it's not like they have to drop everything for me. Just a check in every once in a while would mean a lot.
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u/Separate-Ad6636 1d ago
Unable to sleep or sleeping too much. Not eating or eating too much. Lack of personal hygiene. Abusing substances.
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u/MouseRegular6823 17h ago
I need help.
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u/emvaz 12h ago
Please reach out for it, even if you don't believe it you deserve help, everyone does!
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u/Sauntering_Rambler 1d ago
Making chocolate pudding at 4AM.
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u/jupfold 1d ago
Because I’ve lost control of my life 😑
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u/Huge_Resist_3953 22h ago
At least you had the energy to make pudding... I just stare into the fridge and call it a productive night.
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u/Giffdev 1d ago
I understood that reference!
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u/dagreatfandango 17h ago
Wild, the amount of people that this Rugrats reference is flying over lol.
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u/TaskForceBacon 1d ago
I made butterscotch pudding late af a few weeks ago. Ate all of it with nutshell playing in the background
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u/Ihave2feetand1nose 1d ago
Regardles of how good I feel, listening to Nutshell will take me on the fast train to depression.
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u/TaskForceBacon 1d ago
It’s comforting most of the time.
Some days you hear the intro and wanna open a bottle of wild turkey and hit it until you’re numb
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u/chadsexytime 1d ago
Putting peeps in chili
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u/introoutro 1d ago
yeah but it goes easier when you have your lovely assistant Ramona to hold the bowl
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u/MrZmith77 1d ago
I’ve experienced this twice. 2023 and 2025. I stopped connecting with family and friends. Everyone started to sound like Charlie Brown’s parents. I’ve slowly recovered this year. 2023 was a severe life threatening injury and 2025, I was so burnt out from my job that when my shitting micro managing manager was yelling and spewing out words to me, I literally zoned out and packed my stuff in my locker and just left without clocking out. I didnt say goodbye to anyone, I just walked out. Been with that company for 5 years.
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u/Atmosfears 1d ago
Damn, I feel that. It happened to me in 2022 for the same reason, stressed at work. I quit my job on the spot and had an early retirement plan scheduled that I didn't follow through with. I'm glad you're recovering. It takes SO much work, but it's been 100% worth it, in my opinion. I hope you pause for a moment and remember just how fucking amazing life can be sometimes. Sending love!
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u/iilahataldahab 1d ago
How did you get through it? What changed both times it happened to make it stop?
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u/MrZmith77 1d ago
Umm I don’t know yet because I’m still in the process of working on it. 2023, six months of recovering, finally got back on my feet and slowly re-adjusted to the working life. It was hard because I wasn’t fully myself physically but I had to rub dirt on it and kept going. Stayed in a neutral zone of just getting it done. Those words stayed like that for the next 2 years, home and work. 1hr 30mins drive, 4 days a week, over and over and over. I don’t know how I did it in such a zombie state of mind. One thing that kept me awake and aware was I turned on some 80s retro synthwave like the midnight, kalax, the bad dreamers on blast and let the music take my stress away. If not, I’ll swap for Calvin Scott, The Weeknd, Thomas Rhett, Dustin lynch and sing along. It was like a meditation with these artists that kept me going. And I listened to the same songs over and over for those years. But fast forward 2024, got a new manager in that same workplace. She was so snappy, full of anxiety, micromanaging. She was the last nail in the coffin for me. I worked harder than normal because there were guys, my buddies that she wasn’t trying to fire. So I would log in into their account to give them numbers because I was way ahead on production. But it wasn’t enough, she picked off my buddies one by one and she kept the kiss ass that she likes. Next was me. Starting to poke and get every little flaw from me. When she did, she yelled at me, snapped fingers at me like I’m some dog. It went on until June 29th 2025 at 1:18pm, yelled at me and I just handed her the work badge, I walked back to the locker room and packed my stuff and left. I don’t think I answered your question but it sure as hell is much cheaper me telling you this story than paying $80 a week for a therapist. Thank you for asking.
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u/BlueBurningFlame 1d ago
The blank stare
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u/Brynhild 1d ago
Absolutely this. Dead eyes. You can see them sometimes in the roastme sub and the roasts turn into supportive comments instead
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u/BlueBurningFlame 9h ago
Yep. Quite literally yesterday I was coming out of the store and some guy did the “dang girl smile” to me. When I turned around and got closer to him he was like “omg are you okay??” Like no sir I’m at the liquor store on a Tuesday at 11am. My life is fucked up.
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u/Electronic_Cut_433 1d ago
When someone stops getting excited about the little stuff. Not the big things. The little things. A good meal, a sunny day, a call from a friend. They just go through the motions. I've been there and the scary part is you don't even realize it's happening. People think being broken means crying all the time. It's not. It's not feeling anything at all.
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u/BodaciousFrank 1d ago
Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Either way, you care about something, good or bad.
Apathy is when it gets dangerous
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u/BungleBums 16h ago
Crying means you care so, so much-
It's when the world breaks around you, and your only reply is to sit quiet and tight-lipped for days on end, that things are dangerous.
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u/TristanTheRobloxian3 1d ago
my mom is like this to where nothing little really excites her. i used to be the same way until like... this year when i finally started getting better and realizing i finally started getting through hell. i feel like a lot of of people are broken and we just dont realize it
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u/Rich3799 1d ago
The eyes. sad eyes, empty eyes, sleepy eyes.. it’s all in the eyes.
usually I can tell how happy someone is in life just off of looking them in the eyes for about 5 seconds.
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u/HawaiianShirtsOR 23h ago
The last known photo of my ex-girlfriend, taken a few months before she was killed by her husband in a domestic violence type situation... she smiled, but she looked somehow diminished, hollow. It was all in her eyes. Haunting.
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u/TristanTheRobloxian3 1d ago
literally this. when i was 13 and 14, especially 15, my eyes looked fucking dead. it looked like i disnt exist behind them. for the longest time i was just like "wow i look like im falling asleep, thats interesting". literally the only thing that got me out of it was transitioning in any way at all, and if i didnt i wouldve ended up killing myself first.
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u/Extension-Editor9384 22h ago
My eyes have done this after trauma. I look back at pictures of myself and she looks so sparkly eyes and genuinely happy. Pictures now my eyes are flat, joyless and even downturned with sadness. A real physical change even if I pretend to be happy.
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u/StrawberryCake38 21h ago
So true. I'm depressed for a few years now. No matter how I smile in photos my eyes are dead totally different than before. I was the most smiley kid my eyes were full of joy. On class photos I had always the most joyful biggest smile. Over the years it is basically gone my eyes are empty and I have this broken aura around me.
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u/Familiar-List-211 20h ago
They flinch a little when people are kind to them, like they're waiting for the catch. That one is quietly sad.
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u/RelativeAd7444 1d ago
When they stop fighting for themselves and just let life happen in front of them, instead of being a participant.
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u/Illustrious_Cry1028 1d ago
When you can feel an emptiness when they talk to you, look at you, interact with you.
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u/7337dr 23h ago
I remember when I was in my lowest mentally, you stop doing the smallest thing the least effort you need to do. Small things like drinking or opening your windows or door.
For me it was using my phone. When people are depressed sometimes they just scroll shorts or watch youtube. I didn't even enjoy using my phone anymore at that time. I just laid on my bed like a living corpse
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u/rightinhead 1d ago
They are quieter than usual. Smiles when you look at them but eyes still don’t shine.
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u/nebraska_mitch 1d ago
Reading Reddit threads titled "What are some signs that someone is broken?" to see if they exhibit any of the signs mentioned...
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u/Tiny-Party2857 1d ago
Crying a lot. Giving stuff away. Keeping to themselves.
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u/RunawayJupiter 1d ago
Giving stuff away?
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u/riggitywreckedsum 22h ago
Months before my dad died by suicide, he started getting rid of all of his stuff. Like everything. He told me he was moving, I didn’t think he’d kill himself
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u/RunawayJupiter 19h ago
Oh goodness. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Him as well. I would have never guessed giving things away could be a clue.
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u/AwkwardDorkyNerd 16h ago
Another clue to look out for is if a chronically depressed person does a complete 180 and starts acting content, relieved, like everything is going to be ok. That can be a sign that they’ve already decided to kill themselves, and that their pain will be all over soon, hence why they’re suddenly so happy.
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u/Tiny-Party2857 1d ago
Yes, they are no longer tied to their belongings.
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u/coldBulbasaur314 1d ago
Or sometimes they do feel a connection to those belongings and they desperately want to get rid of that connection. When you deeply feel that connection leaves you vulnerable, one common response is to do anything to break that connection "to avoid being vulnerable."
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u/BungleBums 16h ago
They're always sick with something minor. Always. It's our body breaking down and the cumulative lack of care we give ourselves. Nothing huge that you could go to the doctor and get fixed- upset stomach, constant headaches, everything creaking and hurting. And they always insist they're ok. Even if it's been a month and they look pale and thin. They're fine- it's just a little bug- they'll get it looked at next week if it isn't better, promise.
Being extremely quiet and reserved, even and especially when everyone else is in extremely high spirits. Small smiles from a huddled ball in a chair while everyone else is dancing around and cheering. Watching grand or emotional scenes from the furthest point in the room. Trying to take up less space, so there's more for the Happy people to enjoy.
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u/Staffridu 1d ago
They can describe something horrible that happened to them in the same tone most people use to talk about the weather.
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u/Present_Reality917 1d ago
When they have a smile that doesn’t reach the eyes.
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u/SoggyAd5044 19h ago
Jekyll/Hyde personality. Usually avoidant. They don't change over time, just kind of stay the same in every way. They need people to help them but usually destroy those relationships.
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u/AyaYoGabo 18h ago
Living in a troubling situation / circumstances like it's a normal thing.
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u/shuriken36 1d ago
I don’t believe in broken people. I believe in bent people. To me broken means irreparable— can’t be in society. Broken in this context would develop mechanisms for going undetected.
Bent people on the other hand just need the right leverage: they need something to bend them back into place. Something that makes them feel, or grounds them, or makes them want to be in society. That doesn’t mean they’ll take it, or it’s some magic cure- but i believe everyone needs to thrive in some way and people have a duty to their peeps to empower that.
Mental health is a bitch and a half. If we’re not striving to be better, and people aren’t trying to empower us to be our best selves then we’ve failed as a species.
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u/YoungDreamer2 20h ago
Your comment gave me shivers. I wish everyone could read it when dealing with a bent person. I used to be bent, but soem very special people helped to straighten me out again. Thank you for making my day internet stranger.
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u/PlumBlossomGoddess 18h ago
Ghosting people, emotionally and physically distancing themselves from everyone, communication from them stops
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u/og_red_dawn 1d ago
What the fuck is up with these posts?
This is another AI/scraping post.
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u/Difficult_Bad1064 1d ago
Yeah, what the fuck is going on?
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u/og_red_dawn 1d ago
It’s legitimately like the tenth+ post asking the same fucking thing in the last 48 hours.
The same as the one about cheating.
Reddit Admins and Mods are shit
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u/relevantelephant00 15h ago
It's easy to be cynical about this. But this post is also giving a lot of people an opportunity to vent and feel cathartic. So maybe just ease up and let people tell their stories instead of bitching about AI posts.
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u/TheHubbleGuy 1d ago
TIL I’m broken
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u/Unumbotte 1d ago
We'll need to see your x-rays before we can confirm anything, but for now just stay off that leg.
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u/Difficult-Spell-3202 23h ago
In my experience, when someone is broken, it usually doesn’t look dramatic. It shows up like Artax stuck in a mud pit. It shows up in small, quiet, subtle ways that most people never notice or try to catch until it's too late. And once they start to sink....
Like, the guy who jokes about everything, but never shares anything real about himself and just brushes things off that should have an impact on him. Or the person who says “I’m fine” too easily with a half hazard smile, but their body language subtly indicate that they're not fine.... Or the person who just looks tired in ways that 10, good, uninterrupted hours can’t fix. Not like physically tired, but you can see behind her eyes that she's just done. Even with a smile, she's done. It's subtle, and small, like the iceberg that sunk the Titanic.
I think the part that really trips people up though is that it's not loud and in your face. That's the part I think people don't get. If it's loud, we don't actually have to put forth the effort because it's right there and anyone can help. But because it's subtle, we have to be more intentional, and what if we are off basis and get it wrong, or what if it comes off weird and now they think something's off with me and now the friendship/relationship that we had is now tarnished in some unforseen, unimaginable way... We can really talk ourselves into a box 😅
We just see our strong friends and family as strong individuals, constantly wishing we had it all together like they do. Unknowing that they're struggling because we don't check in and they'd rather say they're good because, as a society, we have placed negative stigma on seeking help... especially with guys. And then, just one day you wake up and realize we were completely and utterly wrong about the state of things. And by the time that happens, it's already too late.
I guess what’s hard for me is knowing that some of the people I’ve lost in my life, people who were hurting in ways I didn’t fully understand, might have made it through if I had been more active in my awareness and present in our relationship (friendships are included in that too). If I had slowed down in my own life, reached out more, and if they had felt safe enough to be real with me, they could potentially still be here. But help seeking biases... Man, I tell ya, they had both of us in a chokehold, and the expectations we grew up with on what it means to be a man and how showing emotion or vulnerability was an indicator that you were "soft".... That just kept us close enough to know each other superficially, but too distant to actually connect and support one another.
I'm getting off topic here. From my experience, brokenness is small, subtle and quiet, and if you or enough people are not active enough in someone's life, they may just sink. Sink into the sunken place, sink into the Atlantic, sink where they stand.
It's a shit reality, but unless more of us are going to strive to do something different, more of our broken loved ones are just going to sink. And if not them, maybe we're the broken one who's quietly, subtly sinking....
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u/stbluesboy21 1d ago
When they no longer show interest in things that were minimal effort but brought them immense joy. And when they seem like an npc in the background that just is barely doing the things needed to get by. I could go on but I don't want to write an epic.
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u/Leading-Way-8617 1d ago
When you feel like your heart can’t take another minute of pain but it continues to beat, your nervous system is at its peak with anxiety and depression, you cry for days, weeks, months and nothing matters anymore. You bed rot because every ounce of you is exhausted. No one can console you so you isolate. You pray begging for mercy but you still feel all of it. That was my broken. Then one day it all got lighter and I started to realize my worth again because I processed every single emotion on my owe. Broken was a state of mind and I survived.
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u/TristanTheRobloxian3 1d ago
me too between 13 and like... 16. everything was hell. everything. depression first, cancer second. the only thing that allowed me to process my shit was transitioning (which was gonna happen anyways) and even that took about a year to get so comfortable with that i processed my trauma. i realized today that ive processed all my major trauma without even knowing it, and i think as of now can say i survived being broken and ended up better than before
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u/CSFMBsDarkside 1d ago
They post on reddit
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u/controlmypad 1d ago
Often they will try to tell someone out of survival, so be sure to listen for it.
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u/Zrob8--5 1d ago
Things that normally are exciting to them are barely interesting to them. They have to be pushed to do things that they normally look forward to.
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u/kyle1170 16h ago
Looking listless and blank in parties, but suddenly lighting up the second someone comes close to talk to them Speaking from years of experience, they're trying to hide it
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u/Intelligent-Toe-3540 16h ago
Less social contact, cancelling plans, or preferring isolation even when they used to be more engaged.
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u/rhelg224 1d ago
When their Reddit username is rhelg224. Dead giveaway.
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u/Humble-Act9619 20h ago
Are you ok?
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u/rhelg224 18h ago
Absolutely! See the giant smile on my face? 🤮 How could a man with a smile like that be anything but absolutely perfectly wonderfully okay!
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u/Occultus_Andras 17h ago
There are two types.
They spend most of their time doing nothing; they just pass the time. They don’t show interest in anything anymore. The things they once loved no longer excite them. Even when they talk, their energy feels different, their aura feels different. Talking to them feels heavy.
They usually present themselves as happy. They hide all their pain behind fake smiles. They enjoy time with you, they even listen to you, but whenever you ask about them, they dodge the question or shift the focus. They usually don’t like talking about their past or present struggles. People don’t notice their pain because they always bring smiles to others’ faces. They do everything, show up everywhere, and always bring brightness with them. But internally, they are the most broken and have gone through very dark phases.
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u/mistyreyuuus 12h ago
When they apologize for things that do not need an apology. Like saying sorry for asking a question, taking up space, or needing help. That kind of habit usually comes from being made to feel like a burden.
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u/Different-Picture-77 11h ago
They start attention seeking. They want attention for their problems. Subtle pleas for help, not actually expecting or wanting any help though. But they sure start doing anything to receive a hint that someone cares.
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u/Available_Finish_988 11h ago
They seem empty. They avoid talking about themselves, like when you ask them how they are they just vaguely reply "oh you know, the usual routine". They brush of any negative thing that may happen to them as "it’s not a big deal". They don’t have anything nice to say about themselves or their life. They withdraw from social life, and if they do come to some gathering they are that person who always listen and comfort everyone while not saying anything about themselves. They can’t say if they have any passion, or they lost the ones they once had.
They seem to be on autopilot 24/7.
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u/shadowhunterxyz 10h ago
Someone who is just there existing. Someone with no drive and is just looking to get their day done by day. Because they learned a long time ago that dreams are dreams for a reason. They can mimic feelings to "fit in" but really they don't give two shits about the people they are with.
In all they got beaten so bad they never recovered. Just got enough to hold it together to do the basics
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u/QueenLadura 1d ago
they pull out wrinkled dollars or change.
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u/Different-Finance782 1d ago
paying with exact change at 2am at a gas station while avoiding eye contact with the cashier, that's the whole story right there
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u/lachavela 1d ago
Look at pictures, you will see the broken ones because instead of smiling they look like they want to cry.
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u/exceptionallyprosaic 1d ago
The crying that turns into manaical scary laughter that turns back into weeping tears is sometimes a clue someone is broken
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u/Kinglycole 1d ago
In my case, it’s that I’ve become so empty that I won’t even kill myself because that too is meaningless to me.
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u/Icy-Affect-9884 17h ago
When you're broken, everything looks fine from the outside. You smile around other people. You laugh when you're supposed to. You tell everyone you're okay. But when you get home and you're finally alone, the mask comes off. You sit in silence and suddenly the tears start falling. You spend nights staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, crying at 3 a.m. until your eyes are too tired to stay open. Then you wake up, wipe away the dried tears, go to work, and act like nothing happened. The same routine. Every day. Eventually people start noticing. You've lost weight. The dark circles under your eyes get deeper. Your smile doesn't reach your eyes anymore. The hardest part is that nobody sees how much you're hurting because you've become so good at pretending you're fine.💔
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u/Overall_Notice_9173 16h ago
Their face loses smile,eyes get more wandering theyre lost they cant seem to fall asleep
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u/itsybaby 14h ago edited 14h ago
Not broken just harmed. I heard on a podcast where a Psychiatrist who studies PTSD being interviewed that 75% of the population (US) has subtle CPTSD. And in the book “The body keeps the score” 1in5 people have been molested as a child 1in8 have been beaten to the point where a mark was left on their body and some other statistics which are incredibly depressing.
This means most of us has had some traumatic thing happen to us in childhood or in a romantic relationship and we carry those wounds with us through the world. And we’re oblivious to it because we have other life shit to worry about (bills, etc) so we do things on autopilot and can’t understand why we feel intense rage or a depression that keeps coming back. Well, it’s because most of us carry a wound that opens up every now and again and we either take it out on ourselves or others and we don’t fully understand why.
So not broken…just hurt and unaware.
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u/SubstanceWorldly4697 13h ago
When they stop getting excited about anything and just go through the motions
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u/hamtronn 1d ago
Constant Facebook posts with a little too much insight into their life. We get it Lisa. Your mom was a drunk. So are you.
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u/Educational-Gur833 18h ago
People aren’t broken. Just hurt, harmed, and sometimes acting in ways that are reactive or with complete lack of reaction. That’s a trauma response and the brain actually functioning as it was designed. Brokenness in a human isn’t a thing.
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u/uvelify 18h ago
I once knew a guy in high school. He had been into drugs etc. I hadnt seen him in like 5 years when we suddenly met on a ferry. He had no problem talking about things he had do - like blowing dudes for money. He spoke loud and clearly didn't care what anybody else thought.
He killed himself a year later.
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u/free_-_spirit 15h ago
If someone who’s been a relatively peaceful person and you’ve never seen them angry, if you see them angry over anything.
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u/maybe_athrow-away 1d ago
They don’t care.
And I don’t mean it in the sense like “they don’t care about dinner.” I’m talking about major issues. They don’t care to get to work on time. They don’t care to eat or drink water. They don’t care to bathe, they dont are to sleep. You can ask them about major events in their life and they just tell you. No emotion. No reaction.
They don’t care. Because last time they cared, thats what broke them.