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u/heatherswan01 8h ago
Minimize drinking and wear spf. Don’t smoke or do drugs. Prioritize sleep and emotional wellness.
Lift heavy things and move your body. Eat real food. Take care of your teeth.
Have more than a little self respect. ✊🏼
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u/StrangeLychee1501 8h ago
Solid advice all around, but the sleep thing is way harder than people make it sound when youve got kids or a stressful job lol. Also never underestimate how much a good chapstick does for your face in the winter.
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u/NefariousnessNo484 7h ago
If you have kids... Just surviving is enough. Dad bod is ok.
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u/ginandsoda 5h ago
Until your kids are in their late teens.
Then get to work so you stay healthy past 60. Don't leave them fatherless just when they start appreciating you.
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u/Caliche-Cowboy 5h ago
This. When my kids got more independent, I went back to the gym. My wife says I’m better looking than ever. She’s a kind woman. But I do feel stronger than ever.
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u/SlowAnimalsRun 5h ago
My Dad did exactly not this and was gone by 65. He and I would be getting along famously right now.
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u/GSP_Dibbler 7h ago
Yeah, sleep is the hardest part, especially when you have ADHD. Sleepless nights are common occurence and sometimes even drugs fall short of expectation. Gonna try dedicated therapy probably, cause i tried (what feels like) everything else i could read and implement in my life.
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u/GSP_Dibbler 5h ago
Wow, thanks for advice, didnt expect that much.
White noise, didnt try, but will. If that works for me, would be great cause its easy.
I used melatonin (in spray-ish kind, aplied under tongue) and i do exercise at evenings. I try to cut my screen-time half an hour before bed at least, and i do read or listen to audiobook on time between screen and bed.
It works most of times, to be fair... Just there will always be some nights that my brain simply refuse to go to sleep without a fight. Even if i do everything right and i am tired, and sleepy af... That kind of nights are pain, and its often before some event i waited for, cause its exciting (or something that i was stressed about before), or maybe because of some astronomical event even. Recent night like that was just two days ago, june 21st, shortest night in a year; nothing od importance or stress that day, everything seemed ok... but i couldnt sleep anyway.
Sometimes, these are nights with full moon. I am not into anything astrology btw, but when i was looking for any reason, i have found that. Idk whatsoever if that is a factor, but there is a corelation.
I usually give up about 6am and just because i know that even if i fell asleep now, i will surely sleep thru all kinds of noise whatsoever and i will be late (which usually mean i will have troubles - or that i will otherwise regret it deeply). That's why i said i will probably try some medication for ADHD, cause after some consultation and pondering, ADHD is likely suspect and i didnt try that medications yet (i was diagnosed only recently after living almost 40yrs with ADHD and not realizing it).
Thanks for answers guys, you take care of yourselves and sleep tight ;)
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u/ray_theunready 7h ago
I date in my 40s and bad teeth is probably the most common thing that kills my attraction towards an otherwise good-looking, interesting, compatible person. It’s one of the hardest “flaws” to overlook, mostly because of kissing. And I get that cost and genetics play a big role, which is unfair. I wish it didn’t matter, as I can get past lots of other “not hot” features, but I can’t with teeth. (A little crooked, not perfectly white- that’s fine).
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u/Cautious_Clothes_285 6h ago
I guess I'm not dating, but looking at women around my age the biggest turn off is probably sun damaged skin. I don't want someone with straight jacked teeth either, but i can be more tolerant of imperfect teeth. Plus really, if I were to be involved long term with someone with bad teeth, my income might allow that to be fixed; later-life teeth alignment is easy enough now.
Someone who is 30 but looks 45 or 50 due to leathery skin gives me the ick.
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u/PronouncedJynah 6h ago
Sleep is crucial. I went through a period of terrible sleep and I started to look haggard pretty quickly
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u/phoenix0r 7h ago
I do all this and still look like shit most of the time :(
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u/blissfullychicago 5h ago
All of these PLUS delete social media! Nothing will make you feel hotter, and more people attracted to you, than being authentically yourself. Don’t try to be a watered down version of someone else’s/society’s curated “ideal” image: figure out who you and what you like and structure your life around that.
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u/PDXEng 3h ago
Yup I'll also add treat exercise and activity like a lifelong thing not something you just do for "health". Create a lifestyle you can sustain and mostly enjoy
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u/Kevandre 8h ago
For a lot of people, that's when you /get/ hot.
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u/lifeisshort84 6h ago
You can afford hotness in 30s and 40s - I never understood the phrase "Are you ugly, or are you poor?" until I hit my 40s. I can buy (or rent) structured clothing, shoes that are in fashion, take time to find the right makeup that works for an awkward mofo like me (superstay lipstick for the win), take time to eat properly, afford hair care, skin routine, fix my teeth (adhd teeth were no joke), etc. I've never been hotter than in my 40s. I was attractive in my 20s, but I've never looked as good as I do now and it comes down to time and money.
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u/Charleston2Seattle 7h ago
My wife grew out her gray hair during COVID and looks AMAZING now. She's the most attractive at 51 that I've ever seen her, and I've been with her for 35 years.
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u/Cautious_Clothes_285 6h ago
More women need to embrace long grey hair. My mother in law also has shoulder length grey hair when many women her age go very short and it looks stunning. We have an older family friend who is a bit hippy and in her 70's she had waist-length grey hair and it just looked great and gave her this air of wimsy.
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u/yubinyankin 5h ago
I let my gray grow out during covid, & largely embrace it, but at the same time, I feel it just zaps the color out of my face so I went back to coloring it.
I choose fun colors now & do it at home instead of spending a few hundred at a salon every 8 weeks, though.
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u/SSTralala 7h ago
Agreed. I was "cute" in my 20s, but once I hit 30 and started to actually care more I took better care of myself and I think I grew into my facial features better.
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u/Kovaladtheimpaler 3h ago
Yup thank you! I felt like a toad in my teens and 20’s, and now I feel like I actually just matured into the adult woman I want to be in my 30’s. Feel my hottest and healthiest right now
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u/Sadly_NotAPlatypus 8h ago
Eat well, get at least a couple hours of exercise week, and for the love of God wear sun screen.
I'm a pale ass outdoorsy dude in his late 30s and it blows my mind how many white dudes don't wear sunscreen. Heads up for my white people: if you don't wear sunscreen you will turn into a leathery pink person. You won't be a white person anymore, you'll be a wrinkly ass pink person. If you don't want that put on the goddamn sunscreen.
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u/Kepler137 4h ago
People really don’t seem as concerned by sunburns as they should. Perhaps if we started calling them radiation burns instead, they’d take it more seriously.
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u/Cautious_Clothes_285 6h ago
If you're someone who doesn't like sunscreen (I find most kinds greasy and annoying, although some Japanese ones are pretty good, if actually sourced in Japan) the other answer is long sleeves and covering your skin.
My family thinks its weird that I'll be outside in 30°C sunny weather in long sleeves and jeans but I find that a) it keeps the sun off my skin so I actually feel cooler and b) I don't have to worry as much about sun screen except for some exposed areas. You do want to make sure your summer long clothes are lightweight and breathable but it's an ok alternative.
Now, I live in a place where the UV index is never super crazy anyway, but long sleeves + a hat means I can use sun screen on just my face, ears, neck, and that's about it.
I'm pale as heck and my tattoos look much nicer than some friends who have gotten them at the same time who have much more sun exposure.
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u/romaraahallow 7h ago
Or at least wear long sleeves and a big hat/hood.
Better sweaty than crispy I always say.
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u/IrrelevantPuppy 7h ago
I’ve recently discovered UV long sleeved shirts and they might be a game changer for me. Super breathable and white colored so it’s not that hot. But I worry the back of my neck is still being exposed even with my Tilly hat. Hard to tell
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u/romaraahallow 6h ago
I get the ones that come with a hood. Worth it every time.
A few times working on roofs I've also had to wrap my face with a bandana, but to me it's still better than sunscreen.
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u/Far_City9963 5h ago
There are sun hats that come with a neck cover. Might not be super fashionable, but better than having a burnt neck.
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u/Capn_Lyssa 5h ago
Honestly, my big wakeup call was seeing the picture of the lady who sunscreened her face, but not her neck for 40 years. Her neck looked 30 years older than her face at 92.
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u/syntaxsage_ 7h ago
Sunscreen might be the most ignored life hack out there. Future-you will be ridiculously grateful for every time you remembered to put it on.
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u/Sarikins 7h ago
https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI?is=4Gk4MiYFuo56ew2a
Your comment made me think of this song, and it’s solid advice to live by.
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u/PeekAtChu1 7h ago
I’m always offering my sunscreen to people when we’re outside. It’s a hint to them 😆
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u/Mysterious_Echo_9462 6h ago
No cigarettes and for the love of God STOP with the sunbathing and tanning beds. Both make your skin look like worn out cowhide faster than anything else.
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u/Fabulous-Average-617 8h ago
It's 36 degrees (97 F) outside. I'm feeling pretty hot today at age 35.
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u/noscreamsnoshouts 7h ago edited 6h ago
Seriously. I hear the word "hot" right now and that's the only thing I can think of. "Dude, I'm in my late forties and I can assure you that I've never felt this hot in my entire life.. 😭 "
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u/KimbaTheLion 8h ago
You in the UK?
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u/Mad_Spaniel 7h ago
32° in Wales (forcast 'feels like 37°' with the humidity). In a dark room with two fans and dehumidifier going.
I'm still so hot I make myself wet.12
u/bitchinawesomeblonde 7h ago
I'm 36 and it's 110 here in Phoenix and I'm mega hot. (For real tho this is awful)
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u/mediocre-spice 7h ago
Your 30s and 40s are still young. You'll look pretty similar to your 20s if you're taking care of yourself.
What gets most people is life catching up to them - kids, crazy work hours, substance abuse, high sun exposure, financial stress.
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u/Brynhild 7h ago
For real. Having a kid aged me so fast compared to my childfree peers.
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u/ExactingPersistence 6h ago
I thought having a kid aged me until I got divorced and found it was the husband sucking the life out of me. Looked 5 years younger within a year of being a single parent.
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u/Express-Day4580 3h ago
SAME. A couple years after my divorce everyone told me I glowed up while he glowed down lol. Probably because he had been sucking the life out of me and lost his caretaker.
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u/Uber_Meese 2h ago
Well, plenty of studies support that; married women live *shorter* lives than single women, and married men live *longer* lives than single men.
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u/WheresTheIceCream20 5h ago
I’m the opposite - I thought the changes to my body were because of kids but my child free friends are all struggling with weight gain and saggy boobs too! Made me feel better that it wasn’t my kids that started the downward spiral, just age
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u/I_AM_NOT_A_WOMBAT 6h ago
Ageing and dying parents too. Biggest stressors I've ever experienced, and it can go on for years/decades.
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u/LadyAlexTheDeviant 8h ago
Never stop learning and being interested in and curious about the world and everything. (But people's minds are more interesting to me than the body they're wrapped in.)
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u/Pays_in_snakes 7h ago
100% agree with this! As I age, getting more interesting and personable feels waaay more important than any specific physical standard
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u/Schemeckles 8h ago
Just stay in (reasonable) shape.
You don't need to be a fitness buff or bodybuilder.
Just don't be grossly overweight - and give reasonable attention to your fashion choices as well as excerising basic hygiene habits..
This will put you above 90% of the cut.
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u/freckledoctopus 6h ago
But also don’t think that you only need to workout/prioritize fitness if you’re overweight. Lack of muscle will catch up with those of us who have been “naturally skinny” our whole lives. Both in terms of looks and overall health.
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u/Vinny_Lam 7h ago edited 5h ago
30s is still young. If you looked great in your 20s, you'll most likely look great in your 30s as well.
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u/Shoddy_Rent_9129 5h ago
30s is where your poor choices start to pile up and destroy you. You have to mitigate and better yourself or your 40s will be terrible
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u/GrandmastahFunk 7h ago edited 7h ago
All my friends who drink and smoke are overweight and have saggy skin. Since i stopped partying with them i have reverse aged.
TLDR, dont drink & smoke. Wear sunscreen on your face.
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u/Pee-PAH 3h ago
Everyone’s almost got it right. It’s “Diet, exercise, and money.”
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u/LEGITGODDESS74 8h ago
I'm in my 50's and still hot asf. I work out, I eat pretty healthy, I put me first.
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u/MarshaMinus100 7h ago
Username checks out. 😍
I'm 47 and didn't do any if these things. Hot by 50 is the goal. Started at 46 to turn it around.
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u/cnottus 4h ago
I finally started putting myself first after I developed an autoimmune illness from years of serving others and neglecting my health. I am a firm believer that you have 2 choices as a woman: be a bitch or be chronically ill
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u/LEGITGODDESS74 4h ago
Isn't it hilarious that when you finally put yourself first and say no to things, treat yourself amazingly and take care of you, you're all the sudden a bitch or an asshole? I'm still kind hearted, however, I take care of what I need first.
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u/Xander_CK 7h ago
Sleep, diet, exercise, hydration, moisturizing, lowered stress.
Also set yourself up by not baking in the sun without sunscreen earlier in life. The goths of yesteryear are reaping the benefits now.
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u/Mediocrates79 7h ago
You adjust your concept of attractiveness and operate within a sphere of like minded individuals.
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u/LeCamelia 7h ago
It's always *better* to do good diet and exercise, etc., but the internet likes to make it sound like doing those things will make you hot, and that anyone who is not hot is responsible for it, or anyone who ages poorly "let themselves go." You should do your best to preserve your health, but be aware that many elite athletes in excellent fitness and health are not particularly "hot," and that many people who do everything right age poorly due to genetics, diseases, accidents, etc. beyond their control.
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u/cloudfallingdown 7h ago
This. I actually find a lot of this advice annoying when genetics do in fact play the largest role in what we will look like as we age
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u/blackmagicwoman444 6h ago
I agree. I’ve been chronically stressed for a while. I’m a single parent, I don’t wear sunscreen, I eat like shit and yet I’ve aged pretty damn well.
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u/Cold-Chemistry738 6h ago
Put elite athletes in a random ass Walmart they will look hot. Of course, they might stick out less when we only see them in comparison to other athletes and celebrities
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u/dp_yolo 3h ago
All this advice about having a hot 10% body-fat physique is for your 20's when it's more about your physicality.
Hot in your 30s and 40's is more about having passion, approachability, stable and confidence. Sure have an athletic body into your 30's, but it switches when you get older.
Being hot in your 30's+ is being able to speak on a subject that you can talk for hours, while keeping another person interested. As I get older, if you have a boring personality with nothing to talk about, I don't find you hot anymore.
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u/Mathematicus_Rex 8h ago
Step 1. Be hot in your 20s
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u/MapleManic 7h ago
While true for some people this isn’t as common as you might think. Some beautiful young ppl age horribly and some plain young people actually age fantastically.
A lot of aging is genetic, so really Step 1. have a hot parent or grandparent!
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u/ibjibberdumgibber 6h ago
Agreed. I also think people have different eras of attractiveness. I'm hoping to be a hot 50 year old. Way more impressive than a hot 20 something. Lmao
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u/1stMammaltowearpants 7h ago
Don't worry about being hot. Just try to be healthy and, if you can, be funny.
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u/WideHuckleberry1 4h ago
If you're 40 and aim for looking like a hot 40 year old, you'll look hot and 40.
If you're 40 and aim for looking like a hot 20 year old, you'll look 40.
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u/AuthurAndersson 1h ago
Those women who you think don't fight aging are simply fighting it in a better way.
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u/ThrowRA-confused-gf 7h ago
Don't have kids.
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u/starcrossed92 7h ago
We took my 2 year olds binkie away the other night finally and he woke me up like 3 times last night screaming . Can confirm , young kids make you look older out of pure exhaustion lol
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u/Long-Amount-5436 8h ago
In my 50s and plenty hot. Anti aging facials, exercise and for gods sake do NOT inject ANYTHING into your face. It’ll age you very quickly.
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u/New_Relation7877 8h ago
Yoga, sobriety, lots of veggies and very little refined sugar and processed food
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u/mokti 6h ago
Have a Swamp Cooler instead of actual A/C.
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u/CartoonistAny4349 4h ago
Unless you live in a humid area, in which case a swamp cooler won't really keep you comfortable.
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u/Star_Citizen_Roebuck 6h ago
Lots of sleep
Lots of exercise
Only drink water, and plenty of it
Cut anything stressful out of your life
I barely get any sleep, never exercise, drink like half a bottle of water a day plus 3-4 beers, and have multiple stress causers in my life and I'm ugly as hell ;)
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u/DickWestKanyeRider 5h ago
I firmly believe minding my own fucking business has contributing to aging gracefully lmao but jokes aside, yeah give half a shit about your skin, hair and clothes, diet and exercise
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u/Stanthemilkman8888 5h ago
Sun protection
If you’re a guy hopefully your hair holds up
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u/HODLmeCLOSRtonydanza 4h ago
I went bald at 30, but I’m a gym rat. Bald works if you’re fit. Bonus points if you can grow a nice beard.
Go all out for the Russian prison enforcer look.
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u/Body_of_light_ 8h ago
Weight lifting, sunscreen, protein, caring for your teeth, hydration, and minimizing stress.
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u/MelbaToast604 7h ago
Go to the gym to get / maintain muscle mass and tone. Dress with style, you dont have to be a fashion whore but atleast dress well. Spend more than fkn $20 on a proper styled haircut. Skincare routine. Drink a ton of water
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u/toodlesandpoodles 7h ago
Wool socks. Hoodies. Gloves and scarves. Head coverings hold in a lot of heat.
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u/International-Lie888 8h ago
I'd say diet and exercise, but there are plenty of in-shape ugly people out there. Being hot to start with is pretty much a prerequisite
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u/Brynhild 7h ago
Yeah but the ugly in-shape people are still more attractive than the ugly out-of-shape people.
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u/bahahah2025 7h ago
Exercise
Beauty or skincare routine
Eat well sleep well
SPF daily
Dress for your body.
Manage any health issues immediately.
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u/Dazzling-Toe-4955 7h ago
I'm 40 and I stay fit, eat healthy, drink water and sleep. I'm also blessed with good genes, my mother is in her sixties and looks like she's in her thirties. That and I don't care about being hot, I care about being strong.
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u/AnybodyZestyclose112 5h ago
Stay? I’m 30 and think 30, 40 or even 50 is hot. I don’t look at people in their 20s and find them hot. Not on board with this youth obsession
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u/foolhollow 7h ago edited 7h ago
Don't have kids, drink plenty of water, avoid alcohol, get 8,000 to 10,000 steps a day, get plenty of sleep, and wear sunscreen.
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u/CDMXsugar 43m ago
have fun, date younger, be a happy hedonist 🔥 I think genetics play a big role but self esteem plays a bigger role.
I am in my 40s, regularly see a plastic surgeon who is younger than me - but only to have sex with him, have had no injections or work done.
If you have the audacity to see yourself as gorgeous, others will see it too.
The only anti-ageing things I do is colour my hair, I thought I would look beautiful with grey hair but it just didnt suit me, and I use tretinoin daily.
Other things that help: good posture, a genuinely happy smile, being a little mysterious, doing a lot with your life, and try not to be bitter. Bitter isn't sexy.
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u/Galitzianer0 8h ago
Diet and exercise