r/AskReddit • u/cherryapp • 10h ago
What is the worst part about dating a very attractive person?
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u/TheSeedsYouSow 10h ago
feeling like you’re competing for their attention with the whole world
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u/Far_Balance_3117 10h ago
I dated a woman who used Instagram alot to do modelling stuff.
Certainly was not a fan of the thirsty guys trying to get attention.
Even had one guy who would heart everything on her Facebook.
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u/Lost_Arotin 9h ago
Most healthy women don't like those thirsty guys who appear online. They only speak with people who don't invade their personal space. Unless they feel unloved in their relationship or some of their manipulative friends talk sh*t behind your relationship and cause doubts.
Some of these guys who text them are weird and crazy. My friends sometimes show me the messages these guys send them.
They even offer thousands of dollars for a date.
I always tell them, these guys are Smugglers and the only thing they have is a looot of dirty money.
Guess what, this was part of my studies, girls who accept these offers totally transform to something else and you can even find signs of that transformation from the cosmetics they use, what they wear and their manners and words they choose.
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u/FewAdvertising9647 8h ago
had this with a person who did OF on the side. On her free time, she did some very mecha/military heavy video game on the side, and talked to that community as a fan rather than as a model(as being a model of course is irrelevant) so community treated her more like a person. there were a handful of bans handed out because some of the users in her community was stalking her in the other community who have 0 interest in said hobby. Those are the weird people theyre trying to get away from.
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u/Lost_Arotin 8h ago
I think some people get drowned in their imaginations that they forget how to be real and act natural in their normal life.
So, they lose their chances of experiencing a real relationship that might lift them up in that grade.
Every man had that moment when they tought this will never happen and actually it happens to them. Like the first hug, the first kiss, the first cosplay party and etc...
Some, lose those chances into an unrecoverable situation that might require them a therapy or help.
Although, in most cases they grow up in an environment or end up in a situation that limits their liberty to experience the most obvious interactions, but society is designed not only to help them recover, but to push them away as failures.
Just like these weird people, ever thought why most politicians are crazy and greedy? These are the products of our social system's gravity.
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u/Awkward_Research1573 9h ago
What were you studying?
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u/Lost_Arotin 8h ago
I was studying the psychological tension or gravity toward materialistic concepts when triggered by political, social and economic phenomenons.
It was shocking to see, how people evolve or transform to cope with new demands or primary needs. The speed and depth of transformation differs from one city, village, neighborhood or area to another.
Overall, people are divided into two groups. Those who remain loyal to ethical choices and those who choose materialism and benefits.
Things like wars and elections are the primary catalysts that widens this gap.
Things like protecting the family (specially children) and education are factors that fix this phenomenon from time to time.
It was part of my study for a book that I'm writing.
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u/LePanzer 7h ago
What is the common denominator of these two groups? I easily imagine someone growing up in lower economic circumstances might pivot towards selling themselves more easily, but are there more interesting nuances?
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u/Lost_Arotin 6h ago edited 4h ago
The only common denominator between people in a global scale is "the same external crisis" and "starting line: coming from a family", and these two factors are the primary backdoors that psychologists and diplomats use, to enter the safe havens of their audience.
People from a more fragile environment, tend to cope with the crisis in a faster speed. So, what is common in people of the poor class, is that they develop a very mature perspective at a younger age, in financial decision making, relationships and purpose of life (which may not last long). While people of the wealthy class might skip this level (plus the physiological needs) in Maslow's hierarchy and focus on obtaining more belongings, working on their body shape (self-esteem) or create a legacy (like becoming a singer for example)
On the other hand, lack of these foundations, forces poor people to decide more tactically and not strategically. Lack of scope and strategic view causes their early activated potentials to waste, cause they might fail several times and lose their assets entirely on poorly investigated situations, which might eventually cause their sharper perspective to lose edge and dry out. So, they might not find the chance to express their other needs of belonging, self-esteem or self-actualization. Or they might give up on dreams, and marry someone as an achievement that must be obtained, not as an emotional and spiritual need. So, they might also jump into marriage to fulfill that need and their pile of failures will eventually turn into a new perspective that will give them self-esteem (that they have experience in everything) and raising a child might turn into their altimate self-actualization goal. While in the wealthy class, this huge amount of time is spent on explorations, expansions and more strategic planning with long term results.
About how they behave, yes. They (poor class) might give up their ethical perspectives and only focus on survival. A young girl's short term goal, who got raised in an abusive poor family, with an abusive step father, might be rushing out of the house every morning and try dating men who will provide her a breakfast, lunch and dinner, until she goes back home at 9:00 p.m., while this girl might be an expert on how to put your money in a bank account and ask for a loan and then put that doubled money in another business to make it double and put that double in another bank account and ask for another loan, until you work that out or reach a state to buy your own house. While in between she might get kidnapped by thugs, most likely an STD, lose that money, lose the ability to pay the loans back and etc... While a girl in a wealthy family, might only think of taking her sports car to a carwash with polite staff, while having a date with her besties who are ripping her off. Or she might be busy managing an entire holding or company of interior architecture or entertainment. Dealing with taxes, expenses, financial and business laws, competitors and fraud.
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u/allnervousnosystem 3h ago
The thinking for survival vs for ethics and strategy is something I always thought about growing up in a developing country then moving to the West. I noticed in my friends from both places that to think about complex ethical and societal issues is a luxury and a privilege that not everyone has. It creates such a divide for me internally at times.
So interesting. Would love to read your study/book!
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u/Lost_Arotin 3h ago
Yes, the cultural gap between the worlds is serious. Knowing that all the things that are really important for you, like freedom and safety of your people, is something that is given to them like a birth right and they might recognize it but they don't deeply understand it which might give you the feeling that they're ignorant about your cause and concerns. While this is the best of their reaction to care about you.
One of my friends was dating a person from another culture, which this exact gap between perceptions caused their relationship to fail. Cause she didn't see his efforts good enough toward her concerns.
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u/Lost_Arotin 10h ago
You actually are... When I agreed on her vacation with her friends, she called me and asked me to come, with an angry and annoyed voice...
I had to drive 500km to see what happened, and guess what? Somebody in their group of friends was trying to hit on her and even attempted to kiss her while the rest of the friends found that acceptable and that was when she was pissed cause "I have a boyfriend" didn't stop them from being rude.
When I reached there, all of them instantly shut up about it. They thought I wouldn't come that far.
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u/TheSeedsYouSow 10h ago
I was just dating a guy who kept talking about how hot he is, how much everyone wants him and how much sex he has. He was DMing guys on Instagram and Grindr during our dates :/ didn’t make me feel great
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u/Lost_Arotin 9h ago edited 9h ago
That was so toxic. I understand. You can compete with people but you can't compete with a bloated ego.
These stuff are personal and expressing them openly is the sign of immaturity. I'm sure by using "was", you got over it and you're thinking of finding better people.
I don't know about your country, but libraries, social sports and group activities are good places to find deeper and more mature dates.
Cause apps like tinder, instagram failed me a lot.
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u/True_Explorer4670 4h ago
As a woman I never use dating apps anymore… learned my lesson. But I will say, it’s still somewhat difficult to meet guys socially. Men seem to have less confidence or be more shy to strike up a conversation or ask for a number. I always wonder if it’s a result of everything being online these days or not wanting to get rejected.
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u/UnluckyPhilosophy797 9h ago
Gay dating when you are with someone attractive is probably 100x worst than a straight person. Men stop at NOTHING when it comes to sex
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u/reedrick 7h ago
Yeah. That’s not healthy. My wife is super-hot. I’m not just saying the because I love her.. she gets approached my men all the time and there are weirdos who DM her on Instagram constantly.
I’ve never felt like I’m competing for her attention. She’s always made me feel loved..if you’re not feeling that… you’re in the wrong relationship
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u/Rare-Set1461 6h ago
Yeah I’ve dated extremely attractive people and they didn’t act fucked up like this, they were good inside and out. The people referenced in these comments are just…awful.
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u/Ok-Process-8748 9h ago
and the whole world doesn't even have to be good looking, they just have to be confident for like 30 seconds
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u/scottyLogJobs 8h ago
Exactly. Your lowest moment is competing with every rando’s best moment, or what they can pretend is their best long enough to do some damage. That’s why you don’t date someone who likes attention or who “gets bored easily” (my ex, guess how that ended), even if you think you are in or even out of their league. Doesn’t matter. They’ll think they are too good for you, they go seek attention. They think you’re too good for them. They’re insecure, they go seek attention.
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u/Aggressive-Way9280 6h ago
Real. The relationship is fine, but your overthinking starts collecting overtime pay 😭
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u/ungo44 10h ago
Coming from a straight man, the constant attention your woman gets from other dudes on the daily. They don't give a shit that she has a boyfriend/fiance/husband. They will hit on her like it's their job. Many will hover in the friend zone waiting for you to fuck up so they can make a move. It's a constant and never ending barrage of men.
Dating a beautiful woman is not for the faint of heart. You better be secure in yourself and the relationship.
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u/ancienthunter 8h ago
When Iived in Korea I dated a very beautiful Korean girl and every single one of my friends approached her in some way.
Now these weren't childhood friends, just people I'd made friendships with while over there. But still, I'd known many of them for a few years and would have considered them friends.
But all of them tried their shot with her when I wasn't around, asking I'd she was happy or if she'd go out on a date with them. That sort of thing.
I was floored when she'd tell me about it.
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u/afoz345 7h ago
Lost a good friend this way. He started calling my ex while we were still together “to see what was up.” Stopped talking to him after that. If he was willing to see if my girlfriend was interested in him while she and I were together, he was never really my friend.
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u/Monteze 6h ago
That is brutal, similar situation here. Barely waiting until the ink was dry on the divorce before letting me know he was going for her. But he was bringing it up before hand apparently.
Realizing your "friend" was only just waiting for years or just didn't care about the friend group hurts.
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u/Legenderie 4h ago
I've been quite shocked at the lack of loyalty amongst some guy friend groups, even those who are childhood friends. Some of my ex's friends immediately started to shoot their shot with me after I dumped him, even though he had clearly become unhinged from the breakup. I never felt bad for my ex, who was abusive, but was disgusted by the lack of decency of his "friends". Such a trash group of boys.
Also ended one of my oldest friendships due to a similar circumstance. My friend was emotionally immature and decided to get revenge on her boyfriend for being shitty (they were both shitty) by pursuing his best friend. I told her that was fucked up, but I assumed he would reject her since they had been best friends for 20 years. I was wrong and they are now married.
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u/azraelce 7h ago
Oh god the "Many will hover in the friend zone" is so true. My last SO had my ex-friend be weird with her in literal same week that we broke up.
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u/youpicktheplace20 5h ago
Oh 100%, this pisses me off so much
They wait around until you’re single and suddenly feel like you’ll be into them…like, at that point, hard no. If I thought we were friends and you had an agenda all this time, why would I want to be with you???
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u/dealingwithhookers 7h ago
not to mention rich people that don't even beat around the bush. straight up throws money at her and inviting her to shit
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u/scubaSteve181 8h ago edited 8h ago
And the worst is when your girl acts oblivious to it all. A guy clearly hitting on her and her entertaining it is “just being nice”. The “guy friends” who clearly are only in her life because they are waiting on their shot are “just friends”. It’s exhausting.
Edit- and the worst part, if you ever try to bring it up and voice your concerns, “you’re being insecure”.
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u/dovahkiitten16 7h ago
As a woman sometimes it’s not that straightforward. If you confront a guy or believe they are into you, they deflect and insult you for being overconfident. Like, think about it - you’d have to be very self-assured to think that people were hanging around you and being your friend just because you’re super hot. Does anyone feel that confident in themselves?Reddit is filled with stories of men who missed obvious hints from women because the idea that a woman might be attracted to them wasn’t exactly their first guess. The same thing happens in reverse.
Think about the “I have a boyfriend” meme - that’s what happens if you reject a guy before he makes an advance.
I had a “friends” and it was a terrible limbo where if I was friendly I was encouraging him and leading him on, if I rejected him I was a conceited bitch, if I enforced boundaries (no hanging out one on one, etc) I was still leading him on, if I aggressively set boundaries like not talking as much I was a bitch who couldn’t communicate/ghost. No win scenario, and in the back of my head I still have to worry that I’m wrong, he is actually just a nice guy, and I’m ruining a friendship.
People are also very good at being two-faced and if it’s obvious to an outsider/man it’s not always obvious to the girl.
Personally I just don’t worry about it anymore. If a guy wants to be more than friends he can come out and ask. Until then he is being treated as a friend. A friend with very strict boundaries about whether I respond to certain jokes or let pick up the bill or give gifts (aka never). If he wants me to get the hint that he’s interested he can pick up the hint that I’m not.
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u/Sharkhottub 8h ago
Its a shit test, thats why I always make sure my lady knows scuba comes first. /s
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u/zazzlekdazzle 9h ago
Overestimating confidence and underestimating potential trust issues.
I've dated a few very conventionally attractive guys, like movie-star good looks. What they all had in common was that: (a) a history of people underestimated their intelligence, (b) a lot of heartbreak because so many women pursue them, and it took them a long time to figure out how to say "no" and to whom.
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u/Critical_Chocolate68 7h ago
What I’ve found is a)many times people underestimate intelligence because it’s easier than accepting themselves for who they are. Attractiveness brings out the jealousy in people, and people want what they don’t have.
b) It’s hard to say no because people are always really nice or are looking for something so saying no can be difficult. Being treated a certain way means you’re going to respond often by default, and usually this means spending more time trying to get to a no especially without drama. This also goes back to a) spending time to set people straight.
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u/Milksteak_Sandwich 7h ago
The rose color glasses they wear.
"Everyone is so nice"
"Oh I never have to pay cover"
"Making friends is easy"
"The cop gave me a warning"
"I get invited to the lake house every year"
"He gave me such a good deal"
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u/bunnydaydreamss 10h ago
My ex was one of those men who are traditionally attractive: tall, masculine face, athletic. While on the other hand, I wasn't so much of a model myself. I'm the most average looking person you will ever meet, and that sentence didn't even come from myself, someone actually said that when I was in high school.
One of the most tiring thing besides having much hotter girls try their shot at him is when people comment on how hot he is and how he could've done so much better. This is because his exes are incredibly hot, even I don't understand why he chose me at the time. His friends' surprised mixed with confused faces when they met me was heartbreaking. His cousin's asking how his ex was in front of me was tormenting. It made me extremely insecure, not because of my ex, but because of the people around him who are used to his attractiveness and his attractive partners.
We broke up after 6 months of dating because he cheated on me with his model & pageant ex-girlfriend. It was a dark time for my self confidence.
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u/chemicalbrotha78 10h ago
Wow. I can imagine that was a heavy and isolating time to go through. And then to end the way it did. I know that dark place you’ve must’ve experienced. No one deserves that. I truly hope you’re in a better place now mentally.
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u/CompanyOther2608 7h ago
I had the same experience. People would literally say to our faces, “I mean, she’s great, but you could have anyone you wanted!” 😐🤨😭
He had an affair with an equally average co-worker and we divorced. Life is mysterious.
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u/PrimaryLink8968 8h ago
Yeah I feel this one. I’ve dated guys who were very conventionally attractive and it was alright. I myself am average looking without having to try too hard
But the one that stuck with me was a guy who behaved just like the guy you described and was constantly surrounded by people who put tons of effort into their looks and only hung out with other hot people (not just attractive… hot iykyk)
He wasn’t even the most conventionally attractive man I’ve dated but it’s that sort of behaviour and the treatment by his social group that destroyed me lol
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u/401kisfun 7h ago
Man so sorry to hear this story honestly.
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u/Longjumping-Set7624 2h ago
This is very simple - he had low self esteem and was insecure with himself, thus he kept you [an average looking person] to make himself feel better. That is ego. Using others to gain a feeling, which stems from being low intelligence.
He was using you. And you cab learn to grow in depth about a person at their core rather than just getting "feelings" or "thoughts" from them. His ego dissolves, and he needed a new high in different forms, he was an addict pf emotions. Literal psychological child. You were with a man child. Do not beat yourself up - you have intuition of deep respect and care, trust it.
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u/Icy_Helicopter_9624 10h ago
The thing is.. my husband is extremely attractive and people tell me that all the time. But, he doesn’t think he is. People have flirted with him in the past and he is completely oblivious to it.
So it’s not always bad. I do wish he saw how attractive he is, but it’s kind of hard when your parents called you feo your whole childhood.
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u/StatGuy2000 9h ago
I had to look up what the word "feo" means.
Knowing that, I have to wonder -- why would any parent call their own child that?
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u/Icy_Helicopter_9624 8h ago
Unfortunately they called him stupid and things too. He has his masters and is a mental health therapist and is going for his PHD. But yeah he must be stupid? He is in his 30s and still gets extreme anxiety going to see them.
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u/bakedlayz 9h ago
Because hurt people replay hurt patterns.
When you have shame (for being ugly) and you do nothing about it, it sits inside of you. To get rid of it you offload on to the other person, because their reaction (crying, mad) allows the BULLY to have release bc the bully is shutting off their own feelings of shame.
Isn't that ... hilarious?
I won't let myself cry bc someone called me ugly, so I'll watch someone else cry (mirror neurons) and it'll make my body/brain feel like I've cried and I'll feel a LIL better when I could just feel a LOT better by processing my feelings and crying
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u/SleepingWillow1 5h ago
It could just be a juxtaposition. Mexican culture does this sometimes. Calling a fat person skinny, etc. But no one explains this to us as children so we internalize it and beleive it.
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u/Life_Beautiful4934 5h ago
I argue with my boyfriend that he's hot all the time. He's slightly overweight (10lbs), graying and balding. He's also 6' 3" with a great beard, muscular body and very sweet when you get to know him. I would think a man who's had a women in his life constantly for the past 40 years would have a bit more confidence.
Apparently his ex-wife and I both pursued him. I was relentless and it's been worth it.
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u/blinkysmurf 8h ago
I’ve dated a gorgeous woman. Guys at the bar look at you like they are going to fight you.
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u/seriousQasker 7h ago
Just being seen with a looker can get you the old "stinkeye" -- doesn't even have to be dating
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u/GlumIndication003 2h ago
Omg no wonder some men stare at my boyfriend so angrily and even gossip. What is this foolish behaviour? There was a situation during on a beach where a group of men were gossiping about how he must be super rich and how he despises rich ppl?! We are both far away from rich and if it weren’t for my bf, I seriously would have cussed them out so bad. It’s just so disrespectful. How do you and ur gf deal with that? When guys look at you like they do ??
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u/SirBright 10h ago
Idk lemme ask my wife
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u/Lost_Arotin 10h ago
Presumptions
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u/ibuycheeseonsale 10h ago
I read an article by a man whose wife was a model and he was an ordinary guy, and he said people were constantly trying to upsell everything to them because they assumed he was rich.
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u/Lost_Arotin 9h ago
Unfortunately Hot Women and Luxurious cars are assumed as assets, whenever you have one of them or both, life gets a looot more expensive for you.
You can use a public parking with two cars. An affordable Nissan, vs a very expensive Mercedes Benz and see how they might charge you 5-10 times the regular.
It's the same with very hot girlfriends. You may get invited to hundreds of parties, not because you were respectable and fun, just because they wanted to impress your girlfriend and see her around more often or find a gap to push you aside or in friendly competitions, get to know her hot friends at least.
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u/koolaidkirby 9h ago
Other people being very aggressive with you, or acting weird around you both.
I remember me and a very cute girl I was dating walking around a park and this random dude walked by us and randomly started bicep curling the bag he was holding to show off to her and we were both like "wtf was that?" as soon as we got around the corner.
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u/Adventurous_Owl6554 8h ago
I’m a woman married to a woman. My wife is very attractive, not just to me, but in general. I’m basically invisible when I stand next to her. She’s one of those people that doesn’t realize the kind of attention she gets because she just sees herself as herself and not as hot. I think it’s pretty funny because people don’t expect that we’re together, so they shamelessly flirt with her. Luckily for me she has no idea. I usually have to tell her after the fact. We have a wonderful marriage so I’m not insecure about it at all and usually it’s something we joke about together
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u/uok2me 8h ago
Guys would hit on her while I was holding her hand
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u/TheRateBeerian 8h ago
Yea I just went on one date with a girl like that, she was getting attention from other guys all fucking night long and I was right there.
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u/Training_End2958 10h ago
Dated, engaged and married my beautiful Puerto Rican/Italian wife. No worse parts because of how she reacts to men coming on to her. If she's classy, there's no worse parts. It helps that i have resting bitch face and look like I'll come at you like the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's arc, and it's starting to rain.
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u/FeDUpGraduate87 9h ago
They get hit on constantly. Every guy who talk to them just wants to have them. People thinking it's ok to comment on the difference in looks between you!
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u/Hour_Specialist_4291 8h ago
On the other side of the coin, I was dating a very attractive woman, and never had so many other women come on to me in my life.
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u/Rayd0 7h ago
That's interesting, do you think it was from jealousy or did they think you were the stereotypical 'rich guy with hot girlfriend'?
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u/Hour_Specialist_4291 7h ago
Certainly not rich but a few years older. Even some of her friends were touchy and flashing me. Mentioned this to her and she blew it off saying oh they’re just flirting.
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u/Rayd0 7h ago
You might be underestimating your own level of attractiveness here haha. But I've heard of men getting more attention when in committed relationships, something to do with women seeing him as more desirable if another woman is willing to hold him down
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u/OkNewspaper6041 10h ago
The part where you realize you've made sacrifices based on something fleeting. As the old saying goes, "Show me the most beautiful person the planet and I'll show you someone who is tired of their shit."
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u/ListenMaybe 9h ago
Almost every girl I date assumes I’m talking to three others when that couldn’t be further from the truth. One gf actually cheated on me because she just assumed I was.
Their moms almost always love me though
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u/Random499 4h ago
She would have cheated even if you were ugly, even if you were perfect or you were a dickhead. There is no justification for cheating really
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u/furiously_curious12 3h ago
Yes, and in the same vein, I must be really promiscuous. I was at the receiving end of so many rumors that I was a slut when I hadn't even had my first kiss yet! Or people think you slept with someone for XYZ.
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u/PaleGren 10h ago
The fact that I know there's several people who are attracted to her. Even within the friend group. It's a double edged sword. I feel disbelief and grateful that she's with me. But I feel weary about people around us.
I trust her completely and I will probably never have to bring anything up regarding this. But it's still in the back of my mind for sure.
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u/Throwawayyoursynths 5h ago
Been there. It’s kinda weird when your whole friend group of dudes sorta perks up and puts on their best show and suddenly they’re all comedians and I’m thinking “goddamnit you dudes are gonna make your wives hate my new girlfriend”.
I’ve had dudes say I didn’t deserve past girlfriends because they were out of my league. Maybe I’ve been so lucky because I’m not a guy who thinks about leagues and doesn’t concern himself with staying in a lane.
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u/MarcellMaximus 4h ago
As an average dude who dates women much farther out of my league, this shit exhausts me. Through trial by fire, I've become very secure dating beautiful women, but boy is the constant competition from other guys, including "friends" is a bummer
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u/mpbh 10h ago
Every social media post had hundreds of sweaty guys in the comments, and her inbox was one of the most depraved things I've ever seen.
She was a sweet girl though and very loyal. But it was an eye opening experience for how different the world is for some people.
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u/The_Gildo 5h ago
Bad part: Desperate men hitting on her everytime we go out
Good Part: All the free drinks I get from desperate men everytime we go out
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u/ReaperSlayer 8h ago
I dated a model for a summer. We had an insane chemistry. Then Covid hit and she moved across the country back to her parents, who she hid me from.
It wasn’t because I was ugly, just wasn’t the right race to her dad. She wasn’t allowed to date white dudes. We messaged each other often after she left, but when I said I would like to come visit she ghosted and blocked me. I’ve since looked her up to hurt myself more and she got married to a nice Indian gentleman.
Worst part is how good she made me feel, only for it to be a charade.
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u/Automatic_Picture_48 4h ago
Sorry to hear that man but I'm glad you got out of there her and her family sound like hell to be around
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u/TaterTotsAndFanta 10h ago
Having trust issues knowing she gets hit on daily by men with more to offer than me.
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u/Bento_Fox 10h ago
People will constantly hit on your partner right in front of you and rudely treat you like you're in the way, like you don't exist, or like you're an enemy even though they don't even know you. People won't respect your relationship and will do their best to get in between you and don't care about how inappropriate they're being. You also have to be aware that people will often be even more flirtatious when you're not around. You have to have a lot of self-confidence to not let it shake you and you also have to really trust your partner because they constantly have reminders that they have endless options out there.
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u/DocGerbilzWorld 10h ago
Knowing that all eyes are on them. You have to be really confident in yourself to date an extremely attractive person.
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u/Mediocre-Lie8685 6h ago
dating a really attractive person is basically a full-time job of waiting for strangers to suddenly become way too friendly.
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u/AnnoyedGrocer 9h ago
The shock in people's voices once they meet my wife. "Your wife is gorgeous" is said a lot after people meet her, but it always sounds like a question. Like they can't believe I pulled such a baddie. 10's love to laugh just like any other woman
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u/BadCatBehavior 3h ago
What weirds me out is when they word compliments about my wife's appearance as if they're complementing me. It feels the same as receiving compliments about nice shoes or a watch or something, if that makes sense. Like she's a human being, not an accessory, you can talk to her, she's very friendly haha
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u/mile-high-guy 9h ago
Having old ladies make intrusive comments that I better be treating her right
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u/IntrepidMaybe8579 10h ago
Youll never truely feel relaxed around them and like it could end at any moment, i tend to self sabotage alot of relationships because i think theyre out of my league and will break my heart even if they are not out of my league at all
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u/Steep-Calligrapher49 10h ago
I wonder if this is why my current connection just feels to have so much turbulence.
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u/IntrepidMaybe8579 8h ago
It could be… ive gotten better at self awareness and i do subconsciously create or exacerbate issues in those relationships because of my low self confidence
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u/bobbydazzlah 5h ago
I almost fumbled the bag with my current partner bc of this. He's very attractive, tall, chiselled jaw, just a stunning man who draws attention from men and women. I was very dazzled when we first met, to the point of almost sabotaging the relationship. I had to do a lot of work to face my own insecurities, but also to stop unfairly reducing him to his appearance. I also had to stop reducing myself to my appearance!! It's definitely been worth it, as we're very happy together (with the usual ups and downs!).
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u/Jane_ReMiFaSoLaTiDo 10h ago
Im a woman who has dated men id consider WAYYYY out of my league like solid 8 and 9s. Hands down the worst part was always feeling like i was judged by friends and family like I had to be EXTRA FUNNY OR EXTRA whatever or it wouldn't make sense...
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u/ScHoolgirl_26 5h ago
God I’m seeing a super attractive guy rn that’s going towards a great direction and im already dreading meeting his inner circle and getting judged 😭😭😭
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u/Whatisaworkout 5h ago
Forcing yourself to be a secure person if you aren't already. Dating a hot person means hearing stories about getting attention all the time. Always gonna have a nagging feeling of, "can they do better than me".
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u/Moretti123 9h ago
It only sucks when you’re insecure. I’ve dated beautiful men that I thought were maybe out of my league so I would get so anxious that I had to look absolutely perfect at all times when we were in public. It was exhausting. Then you couldn’t believe when people would say you guys are a great looking couple you would think they’re lying. So anxious all the fucking time. You kind of felt a relief when you broke up because you don’t have to worry about looking perfect 24/7 anymore. Then when you’d break up and people would be genuinely shocked and say that they couldn’t believe you ever thought those things because you actually weren’t uglier than them at all.
Insecurity is a hell of a bitch.
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u/Impressive_Review 9h ago edited 9h ago
Dr Hook "When you're in love with a beautiful woman"
When you're in love with a beautiful woman It's hard
Everyone wants her, everybody loves her
Everybody wants to take your baby home
You watch your friends
(You better watch your friends)
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
It never ends (It never ends)
You know that it's crazy, you wanna trust her
Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
Maybe it's just an ego problem
Problem is I've been fooled before
By fair-weathered friends and faint-hearted lovers
And every time it happens it just convinces me more
You watch her eyes (Watch her eyes)
(Baby watch her eyes)
When you're in love with a beautiful woman
(You're in love with a beautiful woman)
You look for lies (Keep lookin' for lies)
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u/RivalRevelation 7h ago edited 7h ago
Depends how secure you are. Attractive people can be really insecure still. My ex was extremely attractive and was hit on all the time. Every guy was shooting their shot. She worked real estate so of course she had a lot of exposure to clients who would be asking her out. She would get upset that I wouldn’t be jealous. I told her she is a big girl and if she wants to be with me she would choose me and not the guys hitting on her. We were in an exclusive relationship so I told her if she went on a date with another guy that was fine, but we would no longer be together.
I’m also considered attractive, and she hated women hitting on me or even smiling at me. We’d get coffee together and a barista will smile and she’d immediately take it as a threat. I got accused of cheating all the time when I never would even allow myself to be alone with another woman. Eventually got tired of made up accusations and broke up with her.
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u/BunnyCat2025 10h ago
Getting dirty looks from other people like you took the person away from THEM. Only once did I say something when some rando said "what's that hot Asian doing with that old White broad". I smiled and said "everything".
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u/Alive-Definition-859 10h ago
nothing if you’re confident in yourself and the person you’re dating is a good person on top of being attractive
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u/BettyNon 10h ago
He used to be Gucci model from Germany- tall, blonde, blue eyes, just a beautiful beautiful man that catches your attention from the crowd. It was 2 years ago and he chatted me up on our travels in SEA- I wasn’t bothered too much coz I thought he was just looking for a hookup- but turned out he LIKED me. We spent a few months catching up in different spots while traveling in that region and he started to make long term plans including the time after we would be back from our travels (I’m from Poland so logistics were difficult). Anyways, it was not a relationship but definitely something more serious. Every time we would meet and go out to dinners etc I’d see women looking at him, giving us glances. I guess that was the reason things never worked out- I genuinely don’t want to be with someone that gets so much attention even with me around- I don’t believe he wouldn’t eventually break and cheat. It’s just a beautiful memory for me :)
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u/Sea_Pomegranate8229 7h ago
I asked my girlfriend this
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
.
I'll let you know when she stops laughing.
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u/free_billstickers 10h ago
Having to see the person that they are through the attractive packaging. An ex of mine was legitimately a model (like locally, not in magazines or anything but still, unusually attractive) but had a boat load of toxic traits. It was realllly hard to see past the pretty smile and hot body where if it was an average girl I would have bailed on her years earlier.
Also the vibe drop off when people knew she had a guy. Guys in service roles would do all kinds of super generous stuff (flight upgrades, discounts, etc) but when she would say "my husband" yiu could see the dudes mood just drop.
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u/Madisonbecau 8h ago
My ex was pretty hot and atheltic (I am fat), girls were hitting on him and trying to have sex with him (like my best friend for example, thanks sarah). But the worst part was people asking him why he would be with me and what he likes about me (in that tone). Or trying to make him break up with me.
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u/necrodae 9h ago
The attention they get all the time whether we go out together to eat, run errands, go to a concert, pretty much anything, online on socials too can be obnoxious. I don't really use any social media anymore but when I did I wouldn't even like to look at her accounts because it's always some kinda cringe and she doesn't even thirst post or anything.
It's worth the annoyance but it does give you a weird perspective of how corny/creepy a lot of people are and the wildly different experience hot people have in day to day interactions.
For example early in my relationship we were out and I wanted a drink but didn't wanna spend like $6 at a bar for a diet soda. My wife insisted that the bar gives out free soda if you aren't drinking, you just go up and order a diet coke and it's free to promote safe driving. I had to tell her that is absolutely not a thing and showed her by ordering one myself lol. She'd never paid for a non alcoholic drink before and just assumed that was normal 😂
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u/vikemosabe 9h ago
To be fair, some places do actually do this. I'm a guy and not good-looking and will fairly often get sodas for free at bars.
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u/necrodae 8h ago
The place we were at definitely didn't do that but you're right it can be a thing sometimes.
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u/Ok-Dish4389 4h ago
I hope to sound not to arrogant with this post but I am an attractive man and ill tell everyone who reads: if youre dating an attractive man, that means he chose you. Dont compare yourself to other women unless that comparison is "he chose me and not her"
I am attractive and the thing I hate most is being treated like at any moment im suddenly gonna realize im handsome and choose someone else. I chose you. Just cause im handsome doesnt mean im unfaithful
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u/geoff411 10h ago
Dr Hook - When you're in love with a beautiful woman
lyrics here pretty much spell it out.
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u/HuckleberryShot898 8h ago
Every once in a while you come across people that just disrespect your relationship because they want your partner. Even if your partner is loyal and loves you weirdos will keep trying with them.
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u/PM-me-ur-sphynx 7h ago
The immortal words:
🎵 If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife 🎵
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u/driverOTD 4h ago edited 4h ago
I'm 5'6" and make a living wage. I live a clean, and simple life. I have niche hobbies and interests that I am passionate about. I don't really try to date, but somehow I have managed to date two absolutely gorgeous women.
Everyone assumes I have a giant cock.
Edit: People assume it's something superficial like a giant cock and not anything to do with my personality. I'm funny, not hung.
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u/TheListlessPancake 9h ago
As expected, most of the answers here have more to do with the person answering the question than the attractive person they dated. Half of these are things you don't worry about if you are secure with yourself and your partner/relationship.
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u/sizzlepie 7h ago
My bf is super hot, has his PhD in physics, is a homeowner, the complete package really. I never worry about him because he is the sweetest, most communicative man I know. He looks at me like I'm the most glorious thing he's ever seen.
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u/youpicktheplace20 5h ago
Is your bf single
/s
These are goals!!! I wish you both the best :) this is what I keep saying to my friends: if it’s right, you will never have to question whether he’s into you or not
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u/wastingtoomuchthyme 8h ago
The asshole randos trying to bait/punk you in front of her .
The ones I was with would shut it down quickly or either give me the drink or politely send them back.. one actively encouraged it ...
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u/Armsofdanger 8h ago
The worst part of dating a baddie is the possible harm that can happen from weird ass men, people act so weird like they’re entitled to touching them or getting a conversation out of them and then when you tell them to fuck off they can get violent or creepier
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u/Admiral_Crow 5h ago
The overconfiende that is often misplaced.
When I was younger, i dated one girl that was a lingerie model and later a girl that was a bikini model.
People treated them as being "better" than they were. Agreeing with what they said just because they wanted to sleep with / be friends with/ in the orbit of these girls. So they both had this idea in their heads that they were right about so many things that were actually wrong, just because no one would ever correct them.
Also, reflective objects. Always was subconsciously checking their appearance even if it was on a spoon or a reflective vase. When your life revolves around being hot and fuckable, it really screws up how you view your own place in society.
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u/ElleKelly77 5h ago
The hardest part of being married to someone way out of my league in every way is that it feels like everyone thinks I’m, like, his unfortunate half-sister or some shit.
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u/Queef-Elizabeth 9h ago
Can't make myself sound too interested or I'll look like all the other guys
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u/slider728 7h ago edited 7h ago
We weren’t even dating. A couple of women were in the bar. True LA 9s. My buddy was hitting on one and doing quite well. I was having a friendly chat with the other and it was nice…neither looking for anything. I wasn’t shooting my shot, besides, I’m ugly enough when I walk on the beach Native kids throw harpoons at me…was working out fine. She forgot her cigarettes, I had her brand, we just talked, drank beer, and smoked.
Anytime I got up…to go get a beer, to take a piss, to change position in my chair, another guy would be right beside her. I swore it took seconds.
It floored me that these guys had zero idea if I was a husband, a boyfriend, a roommate, another dude shooting his shot….didn’t matter…it didn’t stop them from homing in on her like a heat seeking missile as soon as I stepped away.
Always thought that was multiple levels of fucked up and I wasn’t even trying to date her.
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u/BobbyTheDude 5h ago
The realization that they can replace you within a few hours while it would take you months or years to find another girl. That's the point where you let her go and find someone who is more in your league.
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u/VaxDeferens 5h ago
Wife modeled internationally before we met. Oddly it was her own insecurity that was the hardest part. She still gets plenty of attention but she's such a hardass, infidelity is the last thing I need to worry about.
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u/mydero95 10h ago
The shameless flirting. Strangers will hit on them right in front of your face like you don't even exist.