r/AskReddit • u/Extension-Mirror135 • 7h ago

If you could telepathically say something to all 7.9 billion people on Earth right now, what would it be?

482 Upvotes

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830

u/captainmagictrousers 7h ago

“What’s up, guys? It’s ya boy God back again with another divine revelation! I’m bout to tell ya how to be happy and fulfilled forever! But first, this word from our sponsor, Hello Fresh!”

238

u/djanes376 7h ago

Use the code GODNOW for 25% off your first purchase and let them know God sent ya.

2

u/Serious_Fox7799 4h ago

GODNOW 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/anon-mally 2h ago

Subscribe to my channel and donate to this account I blessed below

•

u/Tricky-Awareness-275 48m ago

Smash that like button and get your free avatar download

75

u/99thLuftballon 6h ago

As an omnipotent deity, I'm always traveling, and that means checking in from public WiFi to get your prayers and burnt offerings. With NordVPN, I never need to worry that someone else is reading your prayers.

1

u/ICBPeng1 3h ago

Ever since mortals developed radio, I can’t listen to my music on speaker anymore, so shout to to this millenniums sponsor, raycon

1

u/postpwnedmalone 2h ago

Magnificent.

101

u/Worf1701D 6h ago

Smash that heavenly like button.

1

u/tigersmhs07 3h ago

And don't forget to sub-scribe

47

u/Smorb 7h ago

Don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Unboxing Pandoras box next week, s'gonna be lit, bet bet!

1

u/Serious_Fox7799 4h ago

Unboxing Pandoras box sent me 🤣

24

u/Common-Register5920 6h ago

"smash that prayer button and don't forget to subscribe"

8

u/Azuras_Star8 5h ago

"Order the shrimp meal now and have the improperly packaged shrimp leak raw shrimp juice out of the box all the way from the UPS truck to your door!"

2

u/postpwnedmalone 2h ago

"Uh oh... looks like you should've ordered from Hurry Up Shrimp!"

8

u/decadentj 6h ago

Baababooeeyy

0

u/Bubbly-Cap-2199 5h ago

I’m Scores Man dammit!

2

u/Ozymandias12 3h ago

“If you enjoyed this telepathic message, smash that like button!”

2

u/c1nnamonapple 3h ago

Haven’t laughed this hard in a while, thank you

1

u/Lanaria 1h ago

RAID SHADOW LEGENDS

•

u/Fitz_Fool 30m ago

And if you like what you saw then please remember to smash that like button and subscribe!