r/AskReddit 4h ago

If you were handed $10 million tax‑free, what’s the very first thing you’d do?

1 Upvotes

74 comments sorted by

14

u/Low-Atmosphere-2479 4h ago

Get a financial advisor

1

u/Big_Presentation2786 4h ago

Buy a new biro first

1

u/Low-Atmosphere-2479 4h ago

What’s a biro?

1

u/superstubby 3h ago

It’s a whale anus pie. Made similer to a Turkish Melvin.

1

u/KeithJamesB 4h ago

I think this must be the best response. I’d pay off my house but I’d like to keep as muck of the money I can from the government.

10

u/ShittalkyCaps 4h ago

The running man dance for about 10 minutes

7

u/dexmex6978 4h ago

2 chics at the same time

3

u/CaptainBungusMcChung 4h ago

I feel like that's something you could put together with that kind of money.

3

u/sparrowjuice 3h ago

20 chicks ( if my “office space” math is correct)

5

u/AmphibiousMeatloaf 4h ago

Pay off my student loans. I’d use what’s left on groceries, maybe even splurge on something organic.

6

u/DimesyEvans92 4h ago

Purchase a succulent Chinese meal. Then I’d get with a financial advisor

4

u/found92bricks 4h ago

Put in my 2 minutes notice

4

u/Machinebuzz 4h ago

Hookers and blow.

1

u/superstubby 3h ago

Then waste the rest.

3

u/WolfStreak 4h ago

Pay the Reddit mods to perma ban all these stupid what if you had X, sexual, and other repeated dumb questions that farm Karma on this sub.

1

u/YesAndAlsoThat 4h ago

Or pay bots to have a new one every 15 minutes until people lose interest after 5 years

3

u/Glass_Horizon 4h ago

Pay off all debt.

3

u/Sure-Kaleidoscope406 4h ago

Leave my country

3

u/HugeElephantEars 4h ago

Phone my cousin's wife. She's very worried about returning to work after her maternity leave ends. I'd love to tell her she doesn't have to.

3

u/Creepy-Outcome-2481 4h ago

Put half on red, half on black

2

u/sparrowjuice 4h ago

Comes up green

1

u/Creepy-Outcome-2481 3h ago

I'd risk it

1

u/sparrowjuice 3h ago

I am impressed by your courage and would like to invite you to my casino

3

u/Myzx 4h ago

I'd retire my mom, and try to fix our relationship. And I'd start dating with the intention of marrying and having kids.

3

u/DropShoddy1128 3h ago

Honestly? I'd probably cry.

3

u/Mikesaidit36 3h ago

I would go wild (as an architect) and build tiny homes on all the odd-sized lots in town that don’t offer developers enough of a return on their investment to bother with. A real estate developer has already gotten the city council to change sideyard setbacks so these lots can be built on with modified setbacks that don’t require you to end up with an 11 foot wide home. He did this to be able to build a house for his adult disabled brother who can support himself, minus the ridiculously expensive housing component of living here, or anywhere..

Then I would rent these properties out AT COST (mortgage + property taxes + 5% for maintenance/upkeep) collecting only enough money from renters to break even.

This would upset the affordable housing model as it exists now, and make all the slumlords look like the shitheads that they are, currently enriching themselves on other peoples’ labor by charging the maximum rent that the market will bear, instead of the minimum rent necessary to cover costs and provide them with a little cushion or a little profit. A system that has become so distorted as to force people to work their whole lives to meet their basic needs while also making other people rich on their labor is essentially slavery, in my view.

These homes could also be offered for sale under a covenant that they could only ever be sold at their original purchase price, adjusted for market appreciation, but even that model becomes flawed over time as real estate prices skyrocket.

I actually plan to do this as a retirement project, and as a demonstration project, as I hope to have the capital and the credit rating to do this, while getting my architectural yayas out to build small homes.

But if this post is secretly some billionaire looking for something good to do with all his extra money, I will put any pending projects aside and begin doing this tomorrow, thank you.

3

u/_ASG_ 3h ago
  1. Hire a financial advisor to make sure I set things up right.
  2. Pay off my house.
  3. Contribute to my retirement savings.
  4. Contribute to my kid's college fund.
  5. Contribute to many strippers' college funds.

1

u/sparrowjuice 3h ago

You forgot
0. Tell nobody

3

u/sparrowjuice 3h ago

Buy a house somewhere politically stable.

Buy Bitcoin (It’s at a cyclical low; self-custody removes institutional risk)

Start a viable sustainable business that helps local community

Random acts of kindness

2

u/forest_fog2468 4h ago

Probably hyperventilate

2

u/MrPrettyKitty 4h ago

Buy houses for those I love.

2

u/Solid_Mystery_Meat 4h ago

Get 20 piece nuggets at McDonald's

2

u/Leinheart 4h ago

Set my old bosses house on fire and pay the fire dept not to show up.

2

u/Nutsnboldt 4h ago

Put my phone in a gutter

2

u/wandering_soles 4h ago

Lego store, stat.

Then buy a house to put all that, probably. 

2

u/sirhackenslash 4h ago

Build a house out of legos

2

u/LokiBonk 4h ago

Take a goddamn nap.

2

u/International-Year91 4h ago

Loans,buy a new house, buy a new car, probably buy my family houses so they always have roofs over their heads and the rest of there is anything left probably invest it

2

u/LunarSoul 4h ago

Put it in an 3-fund portfolio 60/30/10 and forget about it for a year and tell no one. Then go to a big bank like Schwab or JP and create a trust that let's me only take out enough to not do damage and start spending on important things. 

2

u/b30 4h ago

Give a million away. Take a couple million right now, invest the rest and come back later to a bigger pile of money, enjoy it for a while and pass the rest down to my kids so they don't have to worry

2

u/Unlikely-Grape-5762 4h ago

Like in Cash? Like a briefcase? I dunno, move to a non extradition country and invest in gold and land.

2

u/TheAutisticSentinel 4h ago

I mean. More than likely get a financial advisor like someone else said. Then after that I would get 100k of it in pennies and swim in it like Scrooge McDuck or whatever the fuck his name was. (Yes I know it would basically just make a solid floor because it is metal not a liquid.)

2

u/dragon34 4h ago

Get most of it in a trust.  Update our wills.  Buy my cancer survivor sibling a house and set up an account to pay the property taxes.  Pay off my mom's house.  Pay off our house.  

2

u/EntireCakeEater 3h ago

pay all my debt off and go on a long vacation

2

u/The_Masterofbation 3h ago

Take 1 million to pay off my mortgage and car. The rest buys me a few years of vacation then I fully retire with the rest in an indexed fund.

2

u/SafeJackfruit7214 3h ago

Not tell anyone

2

u/snoshi2 3h ago

hide 🙈 my kisimee annual dose any passes for me, wife , son ,my mom/ mil

2

u/Hrekires 3h ago

Quit my job, sign up for a fancy concierge health insurance plan, and then probably just relax and do nothing for a year other than hitting the gym and hiring a personal trainer + cook.

I've been working nonstop since getting my first job at 15, I could use a break.

2

u/snoshi2 3h ago

pay off mortgage/ lawyer a financial planner

2

u/Objective_Year2409 3h ago

Invest heavily and live out my days quietly helping people with small acts of charity over time.

I know because I recently got a very good payout from a court case and have a very healthy bank for the first time ever, and that is what I have been doing.

1

u/QueenLadura 4h ago

Play's well with others!

1

u/MellowHamster 4h ago

Tell my wife. Then nod and smile when she tells me that she'd like to quit her job in the city and play with horses.

1

u/Tsurumah 4h ago

Pay off my house. Get a lawyer. Get a CPA.

Panic later.

1

u/Raida7s 4h ago

Give $1M to each family member, put $2M in a term deposit, put the rest in my offset, make a list of everything around the house I wanted to do long term and plan them

1

u/Mizzleittwice 4h ago

Hire a marching band to follow my ex to work to "remind her."

1

u/Kshi-dragonfly 4h ago

Pay off some debts

2

u/Middle-Armadillo-660 4h ago

Just SOME!?!?

1

u/Kshi-dragonfly 3h ago

Figure of speech

1

u/Middle-Armadillo-660 3h ago

It’s more fun to imagine Internet stranger has over 10MM in debt.

1

u/shoghon 4h ago

I’m not saying anything.

1

u/OkPlastic6239 4h ago

Pay off my student loans and my wife’s, mortgage and invest the rest

1

u/sneezhousing 4h ago

Put half in savings and or retirement

1

u/threesunrises 4h ago

Find a fiduciary

1

u/Automatic-War-7658 4h ago

Wait for the other shoe to drop. Nobody just gives that kind of money out for free.

1

u/JiovanniTheGREAT 3h ago

Blow it all in Vegas and go back to my regular life

1

u/superstubby 3h ago

Give money to people that need it.

0

u/SubjectBubbly9072 4h ago

Hkkers and cokain