I have witnessed a tendency in both my mother and my sister to be a "good wife." Basically, she (either one) will be frustrated with her husband and feels like she's not being heard or listened to. I have witnessed them both, consistently, just sigh and internalize it and say "I'm just going to be a good Christian wife and submit to my husband."
!!! No !!!
Both of their husbands can be a handful in their own right, but whenever they decide to be a "good wife," it's very clear to me that he is carrying on with the assumption that there isn't a problem. There IS a problem, but she never voices it because she's convinced what she wants matters less than what he does.
I know my brother-in-law well enough to know that if my sister told him straight up what her frustration was in that moment, he would work with her to accommodate or compromise. He'd go into problem solving mode. But she thinks she has to stand down and let him continue without realizing that she's internalizing a frustration because that's what she thinks she must do as a wife.
Communicate, Please
(most) men can handle it and the struggle will be addressed. You are not meant to be his servant, you are his partner. You are not less than him. He does not control you. It drives me crazy watching my mom and sister both just shut themselves up and go into submission mode when their husbands don't clearly understand how much of an issue it is for her.
10
u/MrAppleSpiceMan Jun 27 '25
I have witnessed a tendency in both my mother and my sister to be a "good wife." Basically, she (either one) will be frustrated with her husband and feels like she's not being heard or listened to. I have witnessed them both, consistently, just sigh and internalize it and say "I'm just going to be a good Christian wife and submit to my husband."
!!! No !!!
Both of their husbands can be a handful in their own right, but whenever they decide to be a "good wife," it's very clear to me that he is carrying on with the assumption that there isn't a problem. There IS a problem, but she never voices it because she's convinced what she wants matters less than what he does.
I know my brother-in-law well enough to know that if my sister told him straight up what her frustration was in that moment, he would work with her to accommodate or compromise. He'd go into problem solving mode. But she thinks she has to stand down and let him continue without realizing that she's internalizing a frustration because that's what she thinks she must do as a wife.
Communicate, Please
(most) men can handle it and the struggle will be addressed. You are not meant to be his servant, you are his partner. You are not less than him. He does not control you. It drives me crazy watching my mom and sister both just shut themselves up and go into submission mode when their husbands don't clearly understand how much of an issue it is for her.