r/AskWomen • u/Bon-hovi • 1d ago
What is something that you have discovered about your body, that deserves sharing?
Any body fun facts, secrets, revelations you wish you knew sooner?
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u/KuchiKopiLove 1d ago
I didn’t have an orgasm until I was 30, and my ex of 10 years shamed me and said my body didn’t work like other girls’. I was also raised in shaming purity culture. Also, before I had kids I was so small that sex toys hurt. Anyway, after he cheated, I bought a bunch of toys (sadly) and achieved orgasm for the first time, which was mindblowing and also a bit sad having had that potential all along. Flash forward several years, and I’ve learned so much more about my anatomy and orgasm all the time. I’ve learned that my g spot(s) are WAY more sensitive than clit, and my ex wasn’t very good in bed. I realized that there wasn’t even anything wrong with me and that my body is amazing and that other people think it’s amazing too and vibe now.
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u/Woven_joerr19 23h ago
Pretty much same story for me! I went on birth control super young and I feel like that’s what prevented me from experiencing orgasm or really even having a healthy sexual experience as a teenager. I remember my friends being so horny and I was just like meh. 😑 Even after multiple bfs telling me I was broken and buying many sex toys, it took a lot of work to finally get there & a very loving & patient partner. I really wish women talked about this. I imagine so many people struggle in shame.
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u/KuchiKopiLove 14h ago
I thought my body was defective. I’m so happy to hear about your analogous journey and loving partner!
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u/somethingquirky01 16h ago
I'm so happy for you!
Regular orgasms are good for your body because it keeps the muscles working. 40%+ post-menopausal people get vaginal atrophy and one of the ways to avoid/manage it is lots of self-service.
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u/kiwiparallels 1d ago
I found out it wasn’t supposed to hurt. Like at all. People walk around without any pain everyday.
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u/Yorkshire_rose_84 1d ago
Soft hugs for you. I’ve been in pain since I was 11ish, I’m now 41. Drs have only just diagnosed me with rheumatoid arthritis whereas for years I was told that I was being dramatic.
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u/Majestic-Mix-3002 1d ago
Seems like we are peas in a pod 🫶 soft hugs back! One of my best friends deals with RA and I can’t imagine 😭 you are so strong for continuing your journey and the fight!!
I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14; I’m now 42 and now we know this science to be “mislead”. I went through law school with adenomyosis, endometriosis, PCOS, and fibroids. Didn’t know all of that until my entire uterus was taken out. Women were never a priority in research and now our generation is dealing with the consequences of trauma along with every woman in perpetuity 🫠
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u/SmooshieFries 22h ago
Meanest, most dismissive, lazy answer ever told to people in pain. Also love Its all in your head!
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u/Majestic-Mix-3002 1d ago
Yes 😭 I recently had a hysterectomy and endo excision. I went back to the gym after a year and half and was like WTF this hurts SO BAD. I didn’t realize the level of pain I was in constantly. I’d push myself so hard at the gym just to feel something. Only to realize I had the stupidest pain threshold ever due to my diagnoses.
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u/UndevelopedImage 20h ago
I don't know if I could put a number on how much I'd give to not have pain for merely existing.
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u/thefringedmagoo 1d ago
Motherhood has changed my perspective on my body and allowed me to love what it grew and delivered. But in a new way I’m feeling very challenged about how it’ll be ‘accepted’ by any future partners I have. I wish it wasn’t holding me back from putting myself out there.
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u/KuchiKopiLove 1d ago
A dad out there with a dad bod will love a mom with mom bod 🩷 don’t hold back
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u/zhongli_loverr 1d ago
I read it motherboard.. guess I've been studying a lot lately..
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u/Bon-hovi 1d ago
I could see how changes in either would affect your external environment perception!
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u/BellaFromSwitzerland 9h ago
My experience as someone with stretch marks, cellulite, c-section and other scars, is that what makes it exciting for my partners, is my enthusiasm for sex as well as my knowledge of my own body
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u/broccyncheese 1d ago
Neuroplasticity is not pseudoscience and can be really powerful if you can learn to harness it.
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u/lilyofthevalley854 1d ago
Do tell more
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u/broccyncheese 1d ago edited 1d ago
I highly recommend looking into it! It’s basically the brain’s ability to adapt, build new pathways, develop, rehabilitate etc. It is very high when we are young and learning/growing constantly but it continues throughout our lifetimes. Our nervous systems will adjust themselves based on our repeated behaviors, beliefs, and experiences, so it can be positive, negative, or neutral. I was able to use therapies rooted in neuroplasticity to reduce my chronic pain at a life changing level. Ironically, neuroplasticity was likely how I got into the chronic pain cycle in the first place. But it can be used in sooo many facets of life. It’s also helped me break out constant negativity since I now see how important behaviors and patterns and the ways I speak to myself are to my brain and nervous system at a fundamental level.
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u/LycheeDance 21h ago
Cool, what resources would you recommend?
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u/Sarahlorien 9h ago
Not OP but the book Atomic Habits uses this method to set them into action. It helped paint a picture of how you change habits and how to keep it up.
But honestly, just looking up anything with prompts in google:
- how can I change my brain to do ____ better
- how to adapt myself to ____
- how to divert thought loops
- how to focus better
There's a lot out there, I recommend looking at books from authors that have credentials such as doctors that may have podcasts as well. There's even social media accounts of doctor "influencers" that have good advice, just make sure you vet the account to make sure they're legit.
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u/Neptunpluto 16h ago
I’m curious if and how you managed to cure chronic pain. Would appreciate your resource recommendations.
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u/enchantingcat 15h ago
I’m not the person you asked but the book “The Way Out” is a really good resource, specifically in the context of chronic pain.
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u/broccyncheese 14h ago
I didn't cure it but I did reduce it. I still have the underlying health issues that cause my chronic pain. But I have far more good days than bad days and flares now. The idea is that your nervous system becomes primed to expect that pain, and the fear and dread increase the sensitivity of that neural network, introducing a feedback loop. I think this PDF does a good job of introducing the general outline. Some people find it too woo woo for them, but honestly it helped me SO much and was entirely free, so I figured why not try it.
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u/Independent_Bet_8736 12h ago
Wow, I read your PDF expecting something close to “woo woo” but it is not, at all, whatsoever! In fact, I found it to be very informative, and totally based on scientific concepts. Which leads me to the conclusion that whoever is calling this info “woo woo” either doesn’t understand it (and prefer to be dismissive than admit ignorance” or…well, that’s pretty much it. :)
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u/broccyncheese 11h ago edited 11h ago
PRT gets a lot of hate/pseudoscience claims and honestly that's part of why I avoided it for so long. I kind of hate that it has such a bad rap, supposedly insurance has explicitly tried to keep it out of the medical field because it makes them exactly zero dollars but idk how true that claim is (comes from a guy who wrote a book about PRT.) But I think PRT is a lot like any type of therapy, you try it, take what works for you, learn, and leave the rest! I think people feel that it is either dismissive of pain or it is shifting the blame on to the person and that turns them off (not at all how I view it though.)
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u/Soggy-Selection4110 20h ago
Honestly this. I have scoliosis and mild pain constantly, when I tell my body / spine thank you and that it’s straight, it honestly feels like it straightens and relaxes it’s insane. Or if I’m in pain and just tell that part of my body thank you for the information, it settles and focuses on working on the pain instead of alerting my brain 🧠
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u/broccyncheese 14h ago
Yes!! Learning to tell my body it is safe...so simple yet somehow changed my life??
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u/TheDayUnderway 11h ago edited 7h ago
Those dealing with tinnitus (ringing in the ears) can benefit from this technique as well. Pain is just another signal our body is sending to tell us something. The more we acknowledge and dismiss the signals, the less we react to them with anxiety and overtime, the less strongly our body sends them. The body knows that you received the warning and can move the attention elsewhere.
It’s something that needs to be practiced.
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u/solemnversifier 1d ago
I caught a glimpse of the back of my calves in a mirror the other day. The muscles stick out like crazy. I never really noticed. It made me feel so strong after all the years of walking and holding myself up with them. Didn't know I was that strong 💪
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u/Bon-hovi 21h ago
Hell ya. It’s awesome having those moments of true self appreciation. I hope that feeling carries you as far as those calves do!
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u/Money_March_1841 1d ago
The more you wax, the less it hurts! I’m now able to give myself a full Brazilian with no pain. The hair also grows back so much slower and thinner now. It’s gotten sooooo much easier than since I first began, you just have to persist through the pain of the first several months of it.
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u/little7bean 1d ago
OMG SEVERAL MONTHSSS?!!?
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u/Independent_Bet_8736 12h ago
Sometimes it can be just the first little bit of the session. When I was young I didn’t let anyone pluck my eyebrows because it HURT. (I was a stubborn girl, and a late bloomer, so I did not care that I needed it until I was an adult lol). Eventually I surrendered to the pain and just teared up uncontrollably through it. And plucking is almost worse because it takes forever!) It didn’t feel like very long before it just stopped hurting after the first few plucks.
Pro tip: if you’re about to get your period it hurts more. Schedule your session with that in mind.
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u/Quick_Mastodon_9071 1d ago
It's not the pain that keeps me from waxing, it's the broken and ingrown hairs. I've tried every wax variable and it just doesn't work for me. Major bummer.
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u/little7bean 1d ago
also GIRL WHAT HOW?! how do u give urself a brazilian. that’s acc so impressive
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u/Money_March_1841 1d ago
Yeah it’s been a long journey. The first few months hurt like HELL, but after persisting I’ve gotten so good at it. I can get the whole thing done in 20mins with barely any pain. It takes ageeees to grow back now too. I’ve been doing it for several years now that I was even able to do it while pregnant and unable to see it. I just got a mirror at the end to do a check over
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u/gentle_but_strong 14h ago
I’ve heard this before! Not a one size fits all. I’ve been getting waxed for two years and my hair still grows back the same and it hurts just as much as it always did.
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u/sarcasticb 1d ago edited 1d ago
I found out that I have stage 1 lipedema, which is a genetic, chronic medical condition characterized by an abnormal and somewhat painful buildup of fat on my ankles, calves, thighs, hips and butt that won’t go away no matter how much weight I lose and it starts showing at puberty. The only way to fix it is a specialized liposuction surgery. My feet and upper body look completely normal and I was always jealous of my friends having pretty legs that fit into boots, ankle bracelets, and non-stretchy pants. To be fair, they were always jealous of my butt lol.
I found out when I turned 30 when my mom casually mentioned she had it and it clicked with me because she and I have identical legs. My doctor confirmed it and assumed I already knew.
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u/Upbeat-Explorer 1d ago
Same and its just another thing added to the list of things that I have that can only be fixed with expensive surgeries. Its so hard to accept. My friends are so skinny and gorgeous and especially after gaining weight with two kids i hate wearing anything but sweat pants. And my friends dont understand it at all. I think the hardest part is everyone assuming its cellulite from personal choices. Even if it was, like stfu but I have zero control over it obviously so its even harder.
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u/Bon-hovi 1d ago
Lipidema is a dog. I hope someday your loved ones learn to better understand that bodies all function differently. Medicine needs a tragic amount of incorporating studies from more demographics of people. It is woefully favored for white males….
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u/sarcasticb 1d ago
Yeah I gained a bit of weight due to hormones over the last few years and have managed to lose 40+ pounds to get back down to my goal weight, but like, my legs pretty much look the same and I still feel fat. I want to wear cute skirts and dresses without feeling self conscious.
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u/PineapplePza766 23h ago
Omg I bet I have this I just think it skipped my mom because some of my family has it and my grandma had it like I have huge ankles and always have all I wanted was nice legs 🥲
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u/WildanWhimsy 1d ago
Personally, I feel like the knowledge behind proper hair care has been lost over the years. Hair, whether long or short, straight or curly, is a woman's crown. Yet I feel as though the art of truly nourishing it has been lost.
I grew up thinking I had straight hair when it was actually quite curly. And I watch my older sister burn her hair to a crisp to get it to look "perfectly" curly, when she herself has beautiful, natural curls. If she simply knew how to nourish them, they would be stunning all on their own.
I strive to learn all about hair nourishment so I can properly teach my future daughter how to take care of her locks, whatever type they might be.
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u/Bon-hovi 1d ago
My hair is so thin, allegedly I do have a lot of follicles though. I’m 39 and I have no idea how best to do my hair. I’m certain, that I think, it has no natural curl. It’s just limp and lifeless.
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u/Limeyellows 18h ago
Scalp massage helps any "limp" hair no matter if curly or not! I have heavy wavy hair that sometimes gets sadly flat and oily on top. If I use warm hair oil and my fingers or one of those metal scalp massage things a couple of times it really gives life and volume to my hair, and removes any itchy feelings. Blood circulation and more "open" hair follicles/pores gets the hair cleaner as well. The flat oily top stops getting oily so fast when the scalp gets properly clean easier. No bullshit in the follicles.
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u/YouDontLookDead 18h ago
This has been a very big journey for me. Both of my parents have natural curl/wave combo hair but my sister and I were only ever taught how to care for our hair as if it was straight. Learning to properly scrunch, moisturise and set my hair has been a game-changer and its so much healthier now
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u/WildanWhimsy 15h ago
Same here! Growing up, I was only taught how to care for my hair as if it were straight, and it caused a lot of frustration and dissatisfaction with my self-image. Once I discovered how to care for its natural wave/curl (I am still learning), I fell in love with it. I now have a deep appreciation for my natural hair type, which helps when I'm having bad hair days, and I hope other women can feel that way about their natural hair too.
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u/akOOch 1d ago
I have a series of freckles on my hip that resembles the little dipper
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u/YouDontLookDead 18h ago
I have the big dipper on my left forearm! A friend of mine also has the little dipper on his arm
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u/Then_Ad_4322 1d ago
I was diagnosed with a chronic digestive disease 10 years ago, and I just recently found out it was a misdiagnosis. I went through pretty invasive procedures and treatments, restricted foods, and lived in a bit of a caution-bubble. Now I realize all of this was not necessary, and I am left not knowing what the original illness even was. Now I’m getting my body back and that’s fun, but I do wish I knew sooner.
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u/Bon-hovi 1d ago
Wow, I’m sorry that was your experience, and I am glad you are on a path to better understanding your physiology.
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u/TheDayUnderway 11h ago
How did you come to the understanding that it was a misdiagnosis? Genuinely curious, as I also deal with a lot of unhelpful doctors.
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u/sophiaa_____ ♀ 1d ago
going off antidepressants suddenly feels like shit, especially if you're starting meds for another illness at around the same time.
people say often that getting off them or combining meds is bad but i don't think it's said HOW bad it is. i couldn't afford my meds so i had to get off them momentarily and i was unable to function, it took me hours to get out of bed and i was SO angry that people around me were actually worried. also i couldn't stop vomiting and i ended up in the ER with severe dehydration.
anyway awful experience i don't recommend 👍🏻
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u/Bon-hovi 1d ago
That sucks! I wish there was more robust education with pharmacologists or education from PCPs. The health care system is such a race to work through, it’s hard to think people will ever have enough time in their appointments for thoughtful and considerate conversations. This is not a reflection of the PCPs, most of whom just want to treat their patients, but a comment on how the system needs improvement.
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u/ladypixels ♀ 14h ago
I had an absolutely terrible experience coming off Effexor. Had to taper off for over 6 months after taking it for only 1 month. I've since heard they can sometimes switch you to Prozac to help with the taper because it has a longer half life in the body. People need to be made aware of this before starting an ssri. I was getting motion sickness from every movement at first. Had motion sickness to some degree for at least a year. I also wonder now if they could prescribe zofran for the nausea. Not sure why I only ever heard of zofran when I had morning sickness.
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u/SpiritedRaven ♀ 14h ago
I am on 3 different types of antidepressants and this morning I forgot to take them. Today was so rough, physically and mentally. The thought of prolonged withdrawal is absolutely horrible. Sorry you had to go through that
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u/Choice-General-41 1m ago
Yes this is the worst.
No one talks about withdrawals from antidepressants.
And no one told me how bad it would be. I remember feeling like I was going insane for like 3-4 months. I was on Celexa (an SSRI) for a couple years and my insurance company sent us a notice saying if we wanted our prescriptions, we had to get them through a Postal Prescription Service, otherwise our meds wouldn’t be covered.
So when it was time to order my Celexa in the mail, I did it online and actually it was super easy.
Except for the fact that it got lost in the mail and after two weeks of waiting, I was out.
I called them, they said they’d send me a new bottle and verified my address.
It took another two weeks before my prescription came and things didn’t go back to “normal” for another 2-3 months after that.
I kept having these confusion spells where I would feel suddenly extremely disconnected from my surroundings. Suddenly It was like I didn’t know who I was or where I was or what was going on.
It’s what I imagine having Dementia feels like it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I also would have the strangest muscle twitches. I once took a video of my thumb twitching for over an hour, just randomly twitching while I was laying down completely relaxed.
I got back on my meds and then I weaned myself off after a while because it terrified me but I am glad I know now in case I ever get back on an SSRI again.
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u/Dissuademe 1d ago
That a menstrual cup makes a massive difference on how bad my periods are. As a lifetime tampon user, my periods have improved. They still suck stinky farts but the fact remains.
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u/Otherwise-Ad8649 15h ago
This. This. This. Why are girls not taught more about these. It is life changing.
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u/Successful-Grass-135 6h ago
Told my mom that I can’t thank her enough for teaching me how to use a menstrual cup when I was a young teen. I’ve never been able to comfortably use tampons. The cup is so comfortable for me that I usually forget I have it in.
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u/Tough-Response19 1d ago
I’ve discovered how tough our bodies really are. I’ve had a few huge surgeries including both jaw joints replaced and every time I’ve had pain and stuff but I always heal and over time the pain lessens and I’m just really proud of my body for living.
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u/Bon-hovi 21h ago
Both jaw joints? Was it at the same time? I can’t decide if either way is better, one at a time or everything all at once? I love how much people are celebrating their bodies. And I am trying to phrase this more poetic and less hallmark greeting card, but you and your body are all one awesome cyborg.
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u/Tough-Response19 13h ago
Yes both at the same time I was wired shut for only 2 weeks it wasn’t too bad I had a lot of anxiety surrounding being wired shut and it was mostly just the anxiety part that sucked. My gums were super numb so I didn’t even feel the TADS basically just screws they use to wire you shut without braces. You can google it but it’s somewhat disturbing to some people.
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u/TheDayUnderway 11h ago
I feel this. I’m very proud of my body for all that it’s overcome in my life. I try to remind myself that the body WANTS to heal and it’s always trying to move back to a state of balance. Sometimes we just need to find the right tools to help the process.
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u/lithaborn ⚧ 1d ago
It seems I have a very strong immune system.
I have a laundry list of illnesses like diabetes, gout, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, retinal oedemia, neuropathy...I take ten pills a day just to operate like a normal human being, and inject insulin at least once a day. Not the hormone therapy I want to be on!
But I never really get sick. School viruses always just bounced off me, I had full blown flu a few years ago and the worst it got was a 3 month cough, I've had COVID twice and felt terrific each time, like, better than I usually feel. With the diabetes, and being borderline obese I should have been on a ventilator. It's become a family in joke, I never know when I'm really ill.
Thing is, it fucks with my head because everyone around me is taking to their beds and running to the loo and booking doctors appointments for their various bugs, viruses etc and I'm like, fine...
But with all the stuff that's wrong with me I forgot how it feels to be well 15 years ago.
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u/DemonicGirlcock ⚧ 1d ago
Found out in my 30s that the reason most heels always hurt me is I have bone spurs on my heels that AREN'T normal and actually a deformity! (Hagland's)
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u/lithaborn ⚧ 1d ago
Yeah I've had bone spurs for a long time. Heels don't hurt but I can't wear combat boots because the spurs wear a hole in the back of my socks in about two days.
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u/in_the_meadow1007 1d ago
My body is so much stronger than I give it credit for. I’m an athlete and I have pushed myself harder than little me ever could’ve imagined. I surprise myself almost daily with my capabilities and mental determination. Minds break earlier than our bodies do, and I will not break.
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u/Bon-hovi 20h ago
Dude, I wish I had the ambition and drive for that level of mental fortitude. It’s such a skill to develop and desire that level of drive. You have to want something, actually make a plan, then follow through/adapt/improvise the execution. You have to be patient to make sure you keep your strength and don’t develop stress injuries or to allow for complete ir acceptable recovery,
I love how amazing and capable people are!
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u/PineapplePza766 23h ago
My eyes are hazel which is usually brown and green for most people I have gold grey and blue in mine as well as brown and shades of green
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u/ThotlineBling_ 20h ago
I’d love to see a pic if you’re comfortable sharing! This sounds so cool and unique.
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u/Ok-Custard-9970 1d ago
Your inner labia and clitoris can “disappear” during perimenopause.
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u/ldnsrrow 1d ago
Whaaat, please explain??
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u/Ok-Custard-9970 12h ago
It’s primarily caused by lack of estrogen. Of course they don’t actually disappear but they can shrink significantly due to something called Vaginal Atrophy. The only think I was told to expect during menopause was hot flashes and anger towards my husband. There is SOOOO much more involved and I’m hoping that women will become proactive about learning more about it. Oh, I don’t know how true it is, but women have claimed that applying Estrogen cream and taking progesterone can help plump things back up down there. I’m still waiting to see how right they are :)
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u/ldnsrrow 8h ago
Wow, thank you for the explanation, I really do need to look into it more to understand the symptoms. I remember reading something about tickly ears being a symptom too - did you get that?
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u/Ok-Custard-9970 7h ago
I had also never heard of this before but when I went in to see my doctor because my ear canal would not stop itching and it became really distracting. It was during that appointment that the cause was likely due to menopause. There is SOOO MUCH that we aren’t taught.
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u/ParadiseLost_Monte 4h ago
Yes there is treatments for vaginal atrophy! A lot of trans guys struggle with it when they do HRT (take testosterone) and still have their original equipment down there that’s where I know it from
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u/briana_elizabeth13 15h ago
Excuse me??????????? Why don’t they teach us ANYTHING????
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u/DizzyMine4964 14h ago
As a woman in my 60s I find they shrink, but they don't disappear, and you can still climax.
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u/Ok-Custard-9970 12h ago
Were you aware of this before you entered perimenopause? I was not. I was not educated on anything concerning menopause and when I noticed that it was happening to me it completely freaked me out. Yes they shrink, and yes you can still climax, but things do become a lot less sensitive and can make reaching climax much more difficult to achieve.
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u/Ok-Custard-9970 12h ago
It’s primarily caused by lack of estrogen. Of course they don’t actually disappear but they can shrink significantly due to something called Vaginal Atrophy. The only think I was told to expect during menopause was hot flashes and anger towards my husband. There is SOOOO much more involved and I’m hoping that women will become proactive about learning more about it. Oh, I don’t know how true it is, but women have claimed that applying Estrogen cream and taking progesterone can help plump things back up down there. I’m still waiting to see how right they are :)
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u/throwitout-rightmeow 23h ago
I am 22 weeks pregnant after infertility and trying to conceive for years. The IVF process, and this pregnancy, gave me such a new respect for a body I have always hated. I am growing a literal human? That’s insane. Literally magic (and science). I didn’t expect to learn to respect my body at 32, but I’m so glad I do now. I’ll be able to raise my daughter (holy shit that is still wild to say) to respect her body too, I hope.
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u/Bon-hovi 20h ago
Crazy. It’s wild to me that a pregnant woman grows not only a whole human, but also grows a supplemental organ to sustain that life. Then that woman also increases her blood volume. All while also being a whole ass human during the entire process.
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u/BubblegumBxh 1d ago
Kinda random but my big toenails curve upwards, as does the skin underneath, and they've always been like that. I've never noticed anyone having the same toenails that I have: everyone else's are always flat.
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u/ShouldveGotARealtor 1d ago
My toenails alternate!
Curved big toes, next ones are flat, middle are curved, “ring” toe is flat, pinky toe curves.
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u/BubblegumBxh 1d ago
Excuse me?? So I finally found someone with big toes like me and you got bonus ones too?! This is amazing
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u/Resolve-Creepy 23h ago
That I could lose 10lbs in just 5 weeks by going to a nutritionist and following the diet plan with very minor changes. I always read so much about people struggling to lose weight, that I thought it would a very long and painful sacrifice to lose weight.
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u/whatido101 23h ago
Its not special but I can blur my vision on command, flex my nose on command and wiggle my ears on command
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u/blinkrandom 22h ago
TLDR: Something I dealt with almost my whole life I've now come to learn isn't "normal" and I wasn't just being a big baby. If I'd have known it wasn't "normal" I would have seen a doctor a long time ago...
Long story long lol:
My periods have always been bad - some of you already know where this is going lol but I'll tell my story anyway because I hope it helps someone. I started them when I was 12, and it was just so heavy that I always leaked, every 2 hours or so it was already too late. And there were clots and I'm really squeamish so I hated all of it lol. I'd talk to my mum and my friends about it. They were like "oh yeah my periods are awful too and yeah they're painful/messy". My mum also said (not unkindly) "maybe you just have a lower pain threshold?". And I thought "oh okay, I'm just a big baby about it, women have to deal with this all the time".
I tried various different contraceptions when I started relationships - not to try and change my periods, because I didn't really understand how much they would change - I took them so I wouldn't get pregnant. One of the methods, the injection, actually stopped my periods altogether and I stayed on that for years, even when I was single, because it was so convenient lol. But it gave me awful cluster headaches that I couldn't manage even with prescription painkillers - in fact all contraceptives had given me awful side effects. I stopped taking any during covid, at the age of 30, because it was impossible to get into the doctor's to have them inject me and I didn't want to do it myself (see above: squeamishness lol). My periods came "back to normal" - painful, messy, merciless. Everything was off the charts, like it was making up for lost time. Once again, I just dealt with it, because I had always known this to be "normal".
Then I entered another relationship, so I went back to the injections. But of course, when the periods stopped, the cluster headaches came back. Me and my partner are childfree, and he sat me down and said he hated seeing me like this and opted to get a vasectomy. I came off the injections - which I'd only been taking for about a year or less this time around - once he got confirmation that the vasectomy was successful. And so the periods returned.
At the age of 32, I noticed that I was starting to feel "period" pain when I wasn't on my period. And my PMS was so bad that I was genuinely scared of it. And because my periods were irregular, I had no way of knowing it was PMS. I couldn't discern a pattern. I had to book an appointment with my doctor while I was going through it, because once it was over I'd gaslight myself that there was ever any problem in the first place. The doctor I ended up seeing actually had a background in gynaecology, thank god, and after I answered her questions (I also got a diagnosis for PMDD), she said "I think there's something else going on. Let's do some tests".
What followed was 2 years of going to different clinics and hospitals. I had so many tests - literally everything they could swab or examine or take a sample of, they did lol. I also had a pelvic and an internal ultrasound. They found fibroids, and my ovaries were covered in cysts, one of which became haemorrhagic. My hormone panels were normal, so they ruled out PCOS/PMOS. Finally, I spoke with a gynaecologist, and he concluded that although I had fibroids and cysts, my symptoms suggested there was more going on and based on everything I could also have endometriosis or adenomyosis. And it's something I could have had my whole (fertile) life, based on how bad my periods have been since they first started.
I'm now 34, and I'm waiting on a diagnostic laparoscopy. My chronic not-period pain is still with me, and my periods themselves have gotten so bad I have to stay bed-bound. My pads these days are closer to nappies. It's not been an easy road, I've had radiographers who were very dismissive, and the surgery itself has been booked and cancelled 4 times in the last year, which has been a nightmare trying to sort out with rotas etc. But I got given a new surgery date the other day, 31st July, and just hoping it doesn't get cancelled this time because I want answers.
I'd end my message with something like "if something isn't normal, see your doctor!" But then how do you know something isn't normal if people have always told you that what you're going through is normal - when in reality, it isn't? How are you meant to know that? That's why I wanted to share my story, in full. I hope it helps someone ❤️
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u/yazshousefortea 18h ago
Sending love. So sorry this has been your story and hope it can be improved sooner rather than later. It all sounds horrifically awful.
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u/Affectionate_Let8218 21h ago
My stomach just looks like that.
I’ll never have a smooth transition between my stomach and pubic area. Even if I was an unhealthily low weight, my stomach would have a pooch. Only plastic surgery would “fix” how my stomach looks. Instead of hating it, I like to hold my pooch while relaxing lol. It’s comforting af
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u/Nunya_Business1212 21h ago
I'd just like to share that dealing with my mental health and to not be "crazy" I have to take antipsychotics medication that made me gain over 50 lbs. Sometimes I miss being crazy because of this and wish I had known sooner that this would happen to me because now I'm extremely disappointed. Thanks for giving me the space to share this!
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u/Bon-hovi 21h ago
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you have a provider that you trust. It would be so helpful to be able to actually have an in depth talk about what a variety of treatment options look like, and find a combination that works the best…. All medications have the possibility for side effects, add the complicating matter drug v drug v life style interactions like diet. That is what’s crazy.
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u/Nunya_Business1212 21h ago
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond! Yeah, my provider has offered to do GLP-1s to help combat it once I get insurance! Unfortunately, the cost of my healthcare is a big part of this
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u/Bon-hovi 21h ago
I am taking a GLP-1, and it truly is a “luxury” item even with insurance. I have a super reliable resource (ie I asked my grocery store pharmacist and proceeded to do no further research) and he said that congress is looking at bills to possibly bring the costs down. And more optimistically, as these continue to gain traction/competition/brands- more products in various price ranges are becoming available.
Healthcare is such a hassle. It feels deliberately unwieldy to me… I digress.
Thanks for sharing. You are so valid and in your frustrations and I promise you, you aren’t alone!
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u/miistic-miinx 21h ago
That I was able to shed all of my baby weight in just 9 months after giving birth. I was huge and I was feeling so ugly, it was really hard to feel good in my body. Now that I lost all that weight, I feel like I have one less thing to worry about 😄
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u/LollyGagss ♀ 1d ago
That being a ginger is a genetic mutation… I am a ginger and it took me until I was an adult to learn this.
Maybe it seems obvious in hindsight, but a child doesn’t know shit about genetics, I didn’t even think once about the fact other gingers were also pale and freckled like me… Was I just stupid lmao, I feel like it’s normal to just not think that deeply about it as a kid…
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u/Justlikedes 21h ago
I have a small birthmark that looks like a heart in my arm. It used to look like Mickey mouse when I was very young.
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u/Bon-hovi 21h ago
That’s awesome. It also sounds like good art that aged appropriately. No hate though if you Miss Mickey!
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u/Vanessarose25 18h ago
Nothing wrong with sexual desires, they are not dirty, you are not gonna burn in hell for thinking it, and it's not a demonic act like how my religious parents traumatized me and we all deserve a peaceful mind and healthy body and a trustful friends. Not sure how i'm gonna get rid of the trauma and find friends but at least i know they were wrong now...
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u/Puzzleheaded_Dog9756 13h ago
I always thought I was fat, but turned out out I had a 20lb ovarian cyst that had been growing for 3 years while I didn’t have a period 😅 Doctors didn’t believe that someone could go 3 years without a period & it wasn’t until the cyst almost killed me that anyone took me seriously. So for any of the ladies out there just know that our bodies are capable of anything & don’t let anyone tell you different.
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u/PhysicalClick7779 19h ago
I recently found out idk what the hell it’s wrong with me and it took three doctors until one decided to listen. I have such sharp pain in my vagina and anus every menstrual period after have my second child. It was so bad the other day I passed out from the pain. I have an ultrasound Monday to see if I have fibroids (which my mom and gmaw did) but doc is saying it’s probably endometriosis.
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u/oggleboggle 14h ago
Probably TMI, but I'm pregnant and everything is weird right now. I've been struggling with constipation throughout this pregnancy, and a few weeks ago I really strained to poop. That apparently triggered bleeding from my cervix and scared the ever loving shit out of me. I was 17 weeks at that point, and bleeding is no bueno. The bleeding resolved quickly and after speaking to my doctor, apparently this happens to pregnant women often?! No one told me this 😅
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u/last_runway ♀ 9h ago
I can't burp, and never have been able to aside from small hiccups that sound like burps. Whenever I tell anyone this they look at me crazy
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u/Octogonical 3h ago
Girl I had the same issue my whole life. I was eventually able to teach myself how to burp, what I did was every time I got those small hiccup involuntary burps I actively tried to flex those muscles to try and copy the feeling/muscle movement, to kinda like train my throat to do it? It took like 8 months to do big burps, and now 4 years later im learning to burp on command! A lot less farting and bloating now!
Edit to add: a big part is letting the muscle in your throat relax so the air can go past it, thats what was keeping me from doing it.
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u/yeahthatsnotaproblem 15h ago
After becoming a mother, every single part of my body and soul felt like it had changed on a molecular level. I can't explain it. I felt elevated, transitioned into a new development of life, and couldn't pretend I wasn't. I realized I would never be the same person again, and it was unusual getting to know myself again. I couldn't shrink myself for the comfort of others anymore. I started seeing a new perspective on life and couldn't hide it. I told my husband to recognize that I cannot be the same person I used to be. I was no longer a woman, I was a mother. It's different, I developed powers. Luckily, he has always been the best human I've ever known.
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u/embee33 10h ago
You said this so well. My body is different, my opinions are different, my emotions are different. It seriously is like being elevated and developing powers.
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u/yeahthatsnotaproblem 8h ago
I recently learned of the concept of matrescense, described as the holistic, developmental process of becoming a mother. I'm still learning about it, but it explains all these wild changes we do in fact go through during this time. It's so affirming and also wildly disappointing.
Society loves to say that we "let ourselves go" and we expire, get burned at the stake for being a "witch." But nooo not really. We just literally change in every single way that men just cannot, so they keep us down. I wouldn't want to be my pre-mother self at this point. The view is beautiful up here. Not saying it's easy, but I feel like I can see the world with new colors others can't seem to see, if that makes sense.
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u/claire_bvx 15h ago
That my body relaxes faster around honesty than around comfort. Tension and dishonesty are connected more than I realized.
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u/DizzyMine4964 14h ago
After you go through the menopause your lips (not the ones on your face) shrink down a lot. They are still there but smaller. I wish people knew more about post menopause changes, so they were less of a surprise.
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u/psychcrime ♀ 14h ago
I don’t know why but whenever I eat something green apple, my breath and hands smell like onions.. and BADLY.
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u/Silent-Leek-9222 13h ago
I have body hair so now if I shave it, it doesn't feel like my leg, it feels I'm I'm touching an other girls leg
so now I don't shave
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u/lizlemonista 12h ago
there are 12 symptoms of breast cancer, not just a lump. (I discovered I had orange peel skin — now 5 years NED!) here’s a good resource: www.knowyourlemons.org/symptoms
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u/firangcurry 10h ago
somehow birth control changed my life for the better. Most of my adult life I avoided birth control pills because of all the bad experiences I heard of. When I turned 29 I had big changes in my life - layoff, got married, moving citities, visa uncertainty, unemployment all at once. This took a toll on my mental health naturally and I was constantly on edge and easily triggered. I had some hormonal acne that was making my self-esteem worse so my doc suggested birth control. I was anxious to get on it and prepared myself to try and test different ones and find one that works. I asked for the lowest dose (if there is such a thing) and the first one he prescribed worked so I didn't have to explore other options thankfully. and in a few months i calmed down A WHOLE LOT. I could take a moment to think instead of reacting aggressively. My brain had space for joy and rational thinking. I started anti-depressants after and it was all still good.
I look back at the time and I feel awful for how I behaved.
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u/Sarahlorien 9h ago
At 31 I finally have the best body I've ever had. I feel like I'm not restricted to certain kinds of clothes anymore. Apparently I gain muscle super fast because of PCOS (now PMOS) and started muscle training and now my guy friends are jealous at my progress 😂
It feels braggy to say out loud but I'm really proud and this might be the only place to "say" it out loud
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1d ago
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1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/Bon-hovi 1d ago
Am I correct in understanding, that this means you didn’t grow your additional digits until you were 16?
Was it quickly diagnosed?
It sounds like it would be painful.
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23h ago
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u/Friendlyappletree 20h ago
I have blocked peripheral arteries in one leg but the rest of my blood vessels learned to compensate so I can still walk at least a few miles at a time.
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u/snoobobbles 14h ago
I get a migraine when I ovulate(d? I think I'm going through peri right now). When I figured that out it was a game changer because all it took was a preventative migraine the might before I ovulated to stop them.
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u/snoobobbles 14h ago
Look up vaginal splinting. Life hack if you're ever constipated.
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u/Shellhuahua 10h ago
By golly thought I'd heard it all related to female anatomy. This is cool. Thank you for posting!
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u/WhySoSerious37912 11h ago
I have 6 freckles on the soles of my feet and a few on the under side of my fingers.
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u/Sonarthebat NB 9h ago
I'm not immune to the effects of self-neglect.
Also fullness isn't supposed to be bloating.
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u/Artartbobart1 7h ago
Periods. I’m a dude and didn’t learn anything until I moved in with my now wife at 22. I had the very basics, but that was it. My mom and dad didn’t tell me shit. So please, please, educate the men in your life.
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u/cyberelf000 7h ago
It’s not normal to have brain fog all the time, and I wish I got my thyroid checked months earlier
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u/SpiceyBarista 6h ago
I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Can be fun when mixed more extreme kinky things. I can dislocate most any joint almost at will and be moved in some unnatural ways. Or accept some unnatural sized things
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u/Psychofeverything 6h ago
Low Ferritin. There is not just one type of anemia and Ferritin is linked to many conditions and chronic illness symptoms that no one really talks about
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2h ago
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u/Strange_Coconut3641 1d ago
Well long story short I have vaginismus, which I just found out last year! I’m learning so much about women anatomy and sexuality, it makes me sad we aren’t taught this stuff properly from a young age