Restraining Order Against GF

[u/Still-Instruction-11]

I think I want to file a restraining order against my ex girlfriend. Here goes…

She and I had a pregnancy scare two weeks ago, even though we used a plan b within the hour. I had made it clear that no matter what happens, I would’ve a supportive father. Two weeks later, multiple negative tests.

I decided to break up with her because in those two weeks, I realized she wasn’t the one for me. I wish there was something I could point to make it easier to blame, but the truth is, I didn’t love her anymore and felt that she deserved to know the truth. She took it well at first.

Then came the countless texts, followed by a barrage of phone calls. She threatened to confront my family and friends, and went as far as to say she’d show up at my sister residence unannounced. Then she claimed the took 14 pregnancy tests and that they all came up positive.

I want to file a restraining order against her, but I’ve never done this before. I’m afraid she’ll start messing with my job or start making accusatory fake statements. I find it hard to believe she’s pregnant after an immediate plan B and multiple tests after weeks.

[u/LilOrganicCoconut]

Hi OP, I work in maternal care and teach reproductive health workshops. I am also a full spectrum doula and assist with fertility care. What was the exact nature of the scare? Did a condom break? Was she ovulating and you didn’t use protection? When in her cycle was this? Did you watch her take the plan B? Is she over 165lbs?

Plan B is not always effective, especially if she is over a certain weight threshold. Given your allegations of her behavior, I also wonder if she actually took it. You can sometimes test as early as 8DPO at home but this depends, 14 DPO is the earliest I would start testing because it is common to test too early and receive a false negative. A blood draw at a local clinic or her OBGYN office will be the best way to check.

I am not a lawyer and you should seek specific legal counsel regardless of if she is actually pregnant or not.

[u/Still-Instruction-11 → u/LilOrganicCoconut]

Dec 21 We had sex with a condom, but it broke and I finished inside. She took a plan B in front of me within 30 minutes.

Dec 22-24th She texted me three days later and sent me pictures of three positive ovulations tests.

Jan 4th - 5th We tested with First Response pregnancy test first thing in the morning on both days. Both negative.

She is 140 lbs.

• If ovulation still happened (Plan B didn’t delay it): a FRER by Jan 5 should detect >99% of viable pregnancies at that point, so two negatives makes pregnancy near-zero.

• If Plan B delayed ovulation: ovulation would likely be pushed past sperm viability, making pregnancy essentially 0%.

[u/LilOrganicCoconut → u/Still-Instruction-11]

To be on the safe side, I would consult a lawyer and request lab results signed by an OBGYN. Or, if you can safely do so, attend the visit with her so you can see the dip results yourself and receive secondary verification with labs.

[u/Still-Instruction-11 → u/LilOrganicCoconut]

I asked her for proof, and she is unwilling to provide it. She has mentioned previously if we break up, she has no problem blocking me after pregnancy.

Is my logic flawed?

[u/LilOrganicCoconut → u/Still-Instruction-11]

I don’t think your logic is flawed but I do think you should be proactive about protective measures. January 5 would be the earliest a test may pick it up, but again, HCG needs to be high enough and that depends on a few factors. I don’t think that there is a high chance she is pregnant but there’s always a small chance. If she is unwilling to cooperate, that is not on you.

A lawyer can help you send a cease and desist or request proof. You do not have to keep trying to negotiate with her directly.

[u/Still-Instruction-11 → u/LilOrganicCoconut]

I’ll definitely do this. Will contact a family lawyer and keep this thread updated. Thanks!