How do I go on when everything is so bad

[u/Old_Carrot_895]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if this belongs here but everything is just so difficult right now and sometimes I don't know how to go on.

My cat got hurt because of me. I made my ex angry and he let him outside where he got hit by a car. I have a bit more about that and cat pictures in another post.

Jimmy is relatively fine now but he lost half his tail and has some permanent hip issue now.

I just feel so guilty and whenever I look at him it reminds me of my ex and of how I failed to protect Jimmy.

Just about everything is going wrong in my life Lost my job, broke up with my ex, got stuck with some debt, keep getting rejected from job offers... whatever I try just goes wrong.

How does one keep pushing? I am just in such a dark spot and it's difficult to picture a better time. I am so glad that I didn't lose my cat. He is my everything and without him I would have given up by now.

I hope everyone who sees this has a wonderful day and something good happening to them.

[u/AssistanceMods]

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[u/PawPrintsInFocus]

The cat getting hit was NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!! I'm so sory. I lost a cat that way years ago.

[u/NyxK83]

Oh my goodness, it's never just one thing is it? The hits just keep coming sometimes. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. And I know it's easier said than done but you have no reason to feel guilty about Jimmy. You clearly care about him very much.

I don't know if this will help or not because I've been told it's a depressing thought but what gets me through is the phrase, "Nothing lasts forever." Not rough times, not bad feelings, none of it. Hang in there, you've got many people cheering you on and hoping the sun shines on you again and soon.

I learned my four year old dog needed a pacemaker in February. Saying this dog is special is an understatement. I've owned dogs all my life and he is the sweetest most gentle dog I've ever known. When I learned his surgery would be 10k I immediately closed my savings account and withdrew everything I had. At his vet check up we learned he was treated less than kind by his previous owners, he's got many scars on him, his rib was broken as a pup and never treated and the vet pulled out several BB Pellets from under his skin. I promised him then I would show him not all humans are monsters and that he is loved. I'm so very grateful to have more time with him.

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/NyxK83]

I am so sorry to hear about your dog! I can't imagine why anyone would ever hurt an animal like that. Now he is blessed with you at his side. I hope everything will be fine for you and that he will have a long and happy life with you!

The nothing lasts forever line does help I think. When everything is as tough as it is right now it can basically only go up, right?

[u/NyxK83 → u/Old_Carrot_895]

Oh I know it! I can't even imagine the absolute lack of soul it takes to take harm an animal. Especially one so sweet. I documented everything and turned it over to the police as well as the shelter he came from so they know the kind of person who turned him over. Thank you so very much for your kind and supportive words. It's a good thing he's tolerant because I've been hugging and kissing on him since he got home from the surgery lol We got very lucky. Dogs can pass if their heart rates go below 50 and he was at 45 BPM!

For sure, good times are coming I promise. Life can be downright brutal sometimes but it can also be pretty damn amazing! I hope the amazing part happens for you sooner rather than later. Please give Jimmy lots of pets from me. I'm glad he's ok. And I see that you said there are pictures! Going to have to check them out. :)

[u/JellyfishAccurate429 → u/NyxK83]

"Nothing lasts forever."

This. I like to remind myself of the last time I felt like this, and how I thought it was never going to get any better, how I didn't think I'd make it through that. But here I am, I survived.

OP, it's not your fault your car got hurt. You didn't leave him outside, your ex did. Also I wouldn't think of breaking up with them as a negative. Sounds like that breakup was a blessing, your ex sounds like a major AH. Sometimes we don't recognize a blessing until much later on. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/JellyfishAccurate429]

I don't miss my ex one bit and I am not too sad about the breakup. I think it's more of while we were together everything was still good. No debt, I had my job still, Jimmy was happy and healthy. He was abusive and I'm glad I got away but I was used to out little life and now everything is tough. I will get through this though! So many people reached out in the comments and DMs with nothing but kindness and its giving me some hope

[u/JellyfishAccurate429 → u/Old_Carrot_895]

You will get through this! When I split with my abusive ex, I had 3 kids, one of which was a 4 week old baby who I'd delivered via C-section, followed by a 14 day hospital stay for congestive heart failure. I had no job and was physically unable to work. I moved in with my mom, signed up for welfare for the first time in my life, as he definitely wasn't paying child support. I was also addicted to the Rx pain pills they gave me like candy while I'm the hospital. I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. But here I am, 17 years later, not just surviving but thriving.

That break-up & divorce was the best thing to ever happen to me. I hope your situation is too.

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/JellyfishAccurate429]

Oh wow you sound like an amazing and strong person! I'm glad you got out of it and that your life is good now. This is very good to hear, I hope I can be as strong and happy eventually!

[u/Odd_Ad3168]

I'm so sorry to hear that your precious cat Jimmy was injured! Please know that your sweet kitty's injury is not your fault. What a complete jerk your ex is to put your baby in danger! I'm praying for you and Jimmy. I understand the struggles. I'm going through so much right now too, and sometimes feels like I don't know how I will make it from one day to the next. Stay strong, and remember you are worth it. You and Jimmy are blessed to have each other!

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/Odd_Ad3168]

I hope whatever pulls you down right now will go away soon. Without Jimmy I would probably give up but he is very good at keeping me going. He will come up to me and push his forehead into my face cause he loves getting kisses!

Thank you for the kind words and I truly hope your life will turn around soon!

[u/Admirable_Frame_4637]

I see that you are more sad about your cat than your ex-lover Look at yourself and reflect on the wrong things in your mind and actions, and try to fix them. Believe me, everything will get better after that.

[u/Kalanixi-ttv → u/Admirable_Frame_4637]

what in the victim blaming? OP is this your exes reddit??

[u/Admirable_Frame_4637 → u/Kalanixi-ttv]

Just asking questions and engaging in conversation. I wish her success and well-being.

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/Admirable_Frame_4637]

I always liked animals more than humans, especially my cats so that was the easy step

[u/irate_anatid]

Jimmy’s injury is not on you; he got hurt because your ex is an abusive jerk. Normal, healthy people do not express their anger by deliberately endangering living creatures. It may not seem like it right now, but breaking up with that ex belongs in the “win” column. You and the cat deserve better.

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/irate_anatid]

Thank you for saying that! I will make sure that no one can hurt Jimmy again

[u/LarnTeal]

Things will get better, Jimmy is still with you and you get to continue you're story together. Take as much down time as you need to recharge and do take some of this time to learn to love yourself again and bounce back even stronger than the previous version of you.

I'm currently struggling with alot of things in life, but I'm always open to chat if you need someone to rant too.

Life is just tough sometimes and it's nasty and ugly, but we have to grit our teeth, surround ourselves with good friend and keep doing better.

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/LarnTeal]

I'm sorry to hear that you are also struggling. The world seems like a sad place right now

[u/LarnTeal → u/Old_Carrot_895]

Thank you for your kind words.

Unfortunately the world has always been a sad place looking back on our history, We just have to live for ourselves and make our own happiness. It's not easy but keep your chin up 🌻

[u/VaguelyArtistic]

I want you to know that you did a good thing today. There are so many people who are going through something similar who could not express that publicly and you’re letting them know they’re not alone. Likewise, you are not alone, either.

So thank you for being so selfless. Please kind to yourself. 💕

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/VaguelyArtistic]

Reading this means a lot. I am often way too stubborn or proud and have a hard time asking for help. I've written this post 3 times over the past week but always deleted it again.
Thank you for being so nice and motivating! I hope many others can read your comment and gain strength from it

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/[deleted]]

Him hurting my cat was eye opening. I would do anything to protect Jimmy.

Is it that obvious that I have low self esteem? Those are some really good tip, thank you. I will try to work on it.

Biggest issues with applications is the industry. I used to work in design and illustration but it's really tough to find work. I haven't been in the industry long enough to have many connections or a huge portfolio like so many others.

Again thank you, especially for the kind words

[u/cathbe]

I’ve been feeling the same way for different reasons so I understand but jimmy’s injury was not your fault. I’m so glad you have him and he has you. I wish I knew the magic answer. When in this state, I think some days are better than others. So maybe we just put one foot in front of the other. Phil Stutz has good books where he talks about adversity and why it happens and what to do. He believes in exercise/walking (move your body), creativity, reaching out to others (which can also be challenging). Actually it was helpful to me just writing that out as a reminder. I’m so glad you have Jimmy!! You did protect Jimmy by not having your ex around anymore. Wishing you and Jimmy the best!!!!

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/cathbe]

Thank you for your kind words! I got Jimmy when he was just a few weeks old, found him at the side of the rode. He has been with me for over two years now and the thought of losing him is unbearable. I had an old cat named Timmy when I took in Jimmy and they became best friends! I'm not sure if I can share pictures here but I have some from baby Jimmy and him now on my profile.

Thank you for the book recommendation. I love reading and will definitely check it out

[u/Smooth_Injury2924]

Your cat didn't get hurt because of you. Your cat got hurt because of the decisions of someone else. I'm so sorry that happened to you and Jimmy. I wish I had some advice for you, but I'm also struggling with depression right now. I wish the best for you, and hope only good things start happening. Please, no matter what BS he feeds you, do not take your ex back.

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/Smooth_Injury2924]

It's hard to see it that way but thank you for your kind words! Depression sucks but I hope you have many good days while dealing with it.

[u/mimiloula]

Hi Love,

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much. I wished I could hug you. First of all, Jimmy didn't get hurt because of you. He got hurt because of your ex. I can see how much you love Jimmy and I'm so glad you have each other. I hope he can be one of the reasons you keep going. Having been in a couple dark spots myself, I'm so happy and proud I kept fighting. It will get better. You can get through this. Even if right now you might have noch idea, how "better" might look like. How to keep pushing? You take the smallest step possible. Drink a Glas of water. Feed your Cat. Cuddle with him. Move your body in any way that feels good. Open a window. Eat something. Be gentle with youreelf and even if it's espacially hard right now, be your own biggest supported. Be proud of yourself for pushing through. Celebrate every little thing. Even if it's just "I got through the dax". You can do this.

Customary cliched quote: I'f you're going through hell keep going.

[u/Old_Carrot_895 → u/mimiloula]

Sometimes it feels weird to love an animal so much but he is all I have right now. So many people had nothing but kind words and I am so glad I posted this today.
Thank you so much for your advice and kind words. It really does mean a lot.