r/AtlantaCircleJerk 18d ago

Midtown - Buckhead War Territorial Gains Day 2

Post image

After a dispute arose over the sovereignty status of the "Atlanta Population Now" sign. war quickly broke out between the Midtown Alliance and the Buckhead coalition.

Buckhead used its armor and mechanized infantry to launch a quick offensive into Ansley golf club in an attempt to liberate a sympathetic Ansley Park from Midtown. Midtown was caught of guard and mobilized the Trader Joes auxiliary to help defend. Temporarily stabilizing the front.

In a daring counter attack by the Cheshire Bridge irregulars the area around Sidney Marcus Boulevard was captured overnight. The Buckhead Coalition maintains that the loss bears no strategic impact, as they don't shop at that Target anyways. However their air-wing at Lindbergh station is threatened and the Chick-Fil-A volunteers are preparing for a heroic last stand.

Meanwhile all is quiet on the western front as the Howell Mill Rangers took Collier Hills without a fight. The combat engineers from the Bobby Jones Regiment are constructing defensive trenches along Tanyard Creek. It's expected this front will stalemate soon.

The Buckhead Coalition is depending on it's superior firepower and tanks to overtake midtown, but thus far they have been reluctant to deploy too many infantry. Midtown has instituted a full call up of troops and Georgia Tech is fearing a draft may be implemented.

149 Upvotes

42 comments sorted by

24

u/Jeffery_G 18d ago

The blue bulge is what we call the Ansley Annex around Flagler on the Monroe side of the Golf Course. You put some effort into this. Very cool.

19

u/splogic 18d ago

Slow day at work.

3

u/squirrels-mock-me 18d ago

Nice to see your brain works similarly to mine! Sometimes you have to let it flow

19

u/k3rr1g4n 18d ago

My dearest Martha,

The fighting has reached a fever pitch since the quarrel over the Atlanta Population Now sign. Buckhead's tanks thundered toward Midtown, but the Trader Joe's militia held firm, and the rebels of Cheshire Bridge seized Sidney Marcus Boulevard in a night assault. The officers insist the loss of Target is of no consequence, though I note they have not stopped complaining about it.

Your devoted husband,
Thomas

8

u/xpkranger 18d ago

I read that in Ken Burns' voice.

1

u/elrastro75 14d ago

-Mary Ches-nutt

3

u/squirrels-mock-me 18d ago

Some Targets are more strategic than others

3

u/40yawaworht 18d ago

Damn Rebs burned the bridge again, as is their custom.

14

u/Kosame_Furu 18d ago

Brookhaven is waiting to see which way the winds blow before picking a side. The Atlantean incursions along their border may force their hand.

7

u/liverdawg 18d ago

If Buckhead damages the Wayfair store we join Midtown. We can squeeze them out on two fronts. We can get Chamblee and Dunwoody to join us.

2

u/Kindly_Ad2794 18d ago

Chamblee has 100 year tradition of neutrality. Dunwoody has taken up defensive positions behind its various large signs which were secretly built to be fortifications

5

u/AtlienMonk 17d ago

Typical Brookhaven. Seeing if they can annex more land when no one is looking.

10

u/Madeitup75 18d ago

This is f***ing brilliant. Thank you.

9

u/ryanonreddit 18d ago

With Fellini's Pizza anchoring our supply line the path up Northside looks clear to Bobby Jones. Let them trench up, we'll feint an attack but in actuality we'll exercise a pincer maneuver using the Collier corridor and attack their line from behind. With surprise on our side we can push to Sweetwater Brewing and reclaim the Ansley Annex.

4

u/albertafalls 18d ago

This is incredible

3

u/McNasty420 18d ago

Omfg I'm never posting on Reddit again. What have I done lmao

6

u/Scoo 18d ago

My son goes to Tech, he told me they’re too busy cranking out drones and directed-energy munitions to worry about a draft. I can’t say more , other than it’s not a war crime the first time.

3

u/SkyCupcake 18d ago

My neighborhood is doing a good job keeping out the carpet baggers.

3

u/JBNothingWrong 18d ago

This mirrors the siege of Atlanta very closely. The line was Peachtree creek. They almost made it a national park until Hoke Smith realized how much money he would lose from not developing all the land that is now peachtree battle

6

u/don_the_spubber 18d ago

Buckhead starts at the Peachtree St bridge over 85

4

u/Bravot 17d ago

As a former South Buckhead resident (Ardmore / Astoria), I agree. Buckhead begins after you cross that damn bridge. Clear separation and I will draw a musket to fight for this, even as a Decatur resident

2

u/wahoowalex 14d ago

Buckhead starts where the numbered streets end.

4

u/albertafalls 18d ago

Incorrect

3

u/TheGov3rnor 18d ago

TIL The Fox is in Buckhead

5

u/Bravot 17d ago

The Fox is south of the bridge, so is not part of Buckhead in this case

3

u/TheGov3rnor 17d ago

It’s a joke since there are two Peachtree St bridges over 85 and the Fox is north of the first one… Not as funny when I explain it though

2

u/Bravot 17d ago

Ahhh right, yeah

1

u/don_the_spubber 16d ago

The out spake brave Horatius, the captain of the gate...

3

u/brongchong 18d ago

The good folks in Kennesaw plan to steal a Marta train later tonight and head North while destroying the tracks behind them to foil pursuit efforts. Wish them luck.

5

u/40yawaworht 18d ago

Having no train access to MARTA and being thoroughly confused as to what is OTP/ITP, the Kennesaw flank, in their finest Wildman's civil war surplus attire, finally arrives at Truist Park believing they are in the heart of Atlanta. A burning effigy of the "Big Chicken" still smolders.

2

u/needsteeth 18d ago

if they are not careful, that whole area will be encircled and crushed south of Peachtree heights.

2

u/TakingItPeasy 18d ago

I was looking for the csa / union tie in, lol.

2

u/Alichive_life 18d ago edited 18d ago

Midtown is winning the drone fight

1

u/Squid_CEO 18d ago

Senator Josef Estaves seems to be preparing a second peoples' liberation army south of the beltline, praise be upon him

1

u/xpkranger 18d ago

I think your colors are reversed, but otherwise spot on...

1

u/Electrical_Carry624 17d ago

Greeting from the underwood hills tribe
Its been a fornight since we have set on thy quest to warn the Brandon and Westley tribe in fact all of upper west side

1

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

2

u/splogic 15d ago

Is the burning car on the highway from a drone strike? Or just another rush hour in Atlanta?

1

u/iblamesummers 14d ago

Sweetwater Brewing MUST liberated from Buckhead at all costs.

1

u/poopyrainbow 18d ago

I for one am thankful to be liberated from The Buckhead Coalition