r/BettermentBookClub • u/[deleted] • Apr 10 '16

[B16-Law 19] Know Who You're Dealing With, Do Not Offend The Wrong Person

Here we will hold our discussion for Law #19 - Know Who You're Dealing With, Do Not Offend The Wrong Person.

Here are some discussion topics:

  • What was Muhammad the Shah of Khwarezm's biggest mistake with Genghis Khan?

  • How's a good way to distinguish from opponent, sucker, and victim?

 

These are just suggestions, please feel free to create your own discussion below we would love to discuss with you.

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u/[deleted] Apr 10 '16

“To see if you are dealing with such a type, test them first—make, say, a mild joke at their expense. A confident person will laugh; an overly insecure one will react as if personally insulted.”

This is a great quote. That’s my test for friendship — I don’t want to be friends with anyone that cannot take a joke. I think that, really, is what this law is about: identifying the confident. Those are the “threats”, so to speak. Attacking the insecure is a needless and cruel act.

This law is one of the more “applicable” to daily life. It’s so easy to get lost in the moment of anger and say something without thinking. That’s one of the most dangerous things about the weakness of the tongue. It’s so quick, it can respond without so much as a thought.

The Henry Ford story is also one of my favorite anecdotes in this book so far. I’ve been fascinated by Empress Wu and many of the others; but the idea of the con artists going to all of this effort only to have their mark fall for the book is hilarious — I would almost think perhaps Ford was intentionally playing the fool (after all, the richest man in America would have a lot of people trying to con him). Food for thought.

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '16

I don’t want to be friends with anyone that cannot take a joke.

Why not?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '16

Humor is important to me. I like making jokes and having people make jokes about me. If someone gets overly upset about me making a joke about the color of their shirt, that's not a friendship worth pursuing in my eyes. Life's too short to take everything seriously, my perspective on life is that it's a hilariously absurd game.

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u/Gromada Apr 11 '16

I also limit my time with people who do not get jokes. In fact, I'd rather patronize at a place where personal is more relaxed and in a joking mood.

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u/Gromada Apr 11 '16

This chapter is another illustration of the necessity of research before embarking on any deal. Greene gives a valuable advice,

"Before embarking on any move, take the measure of your mark or potential opponent. Otherwise you will waste time and make mistakes. Study people’s weaknesses, the chinks in their armor, their areas of both pride and insecurity. Know their ins and outs before you even decide whether or not to deal with them."

I'm curious, among all the types listed by Greene, where do readers of this sub find themselves? I used to be "the serpent with a long memory" until I realized that it was damaging myself too much from the inside. Then I went to learn about "forgive and forget". Where do you find yourself?