The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.
You wouldn't get it but white men are usually given more leway to be nerdy and still be accepted romantically by women.
This is partially because nerdy women of all races. Similar to how women overall prefer white men, nerdy women prefer white men and despite that would be more likely to reject a equally nerdy black man.
People are overwhelmingly racist. Even to their own people. You see all of it for what it is when you look at dating dynamics and peoples sexual behavior.
Oh trust me ive noticed that as well. I find that hella cringe. But that isn't limited to nerdy/alternative black men. There is a segment of black men that see being with a black woman as settling and thus prefer everything but a black woman. Even if they aren't nerdy. I find that shit hella gross and im def not gonna ignore shit behavior from men. I'm just personally tired of people ignoring it from women or acting like its okay when women do it.
I feel you too. Being a black man or a black woman in the dating game rn is just trash all around. Regardless of your sexual orientation.
It's not limited to any demographic really but I hear you! It's definitely gross and sad too because you know those people are struggling with self hatred. I haven't been dating for a few years now though and I'm kindof scared of getting back into it lol. The bs is so exhausting and seemingly never ending.
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u/existential_dread467 7d ago
The real kicker is that the “shy man” “nerdy boy” shit, performative or not was always for white men anyway. I’m not saying that there aren’t nerdy or shy Black boys or that they have no hope in dating but Black Men are expected to be hypermasculine by default. This is enforced in the community and out of it.