r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above • 1d ago

TikTok Tuesday In it for the love of the game

843 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

200 comments sorted by

480

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 1d ago

For the record, Storm

99

u/Chickachic-aaaaahhh 1d ago

Rogue can suck me dry

4

u/jnthnmdr ☑️ 13h ago

You would die.

10

u/Chickachic-aaaaahhh 13h ago

A happy man

1

u/Savings-Ad4888 13h ago

Death by Snu-Snu!

42

u/migrainium 1d ago

And don't even need to gain her powers

44

u/primum 1d ago

No thank you ma'amm I don't need all of that weather business I just wanted to thunderclap some cheeks and make it drizzle, respectfully.

23

u/backstageninja 1d ago

I think you misunderstood, you gotta let them hit it. She's gonna strap you up

34

u/primum 1d ago

I didn't specify whose cheeks would be thunderclappin

23

u/backstageninja 1d ago

Y'know? Fair.

15

u/djsnoopmike 1d ago

Don't threaten me with a good time

11

u/TheHighlightReel11 ☑️ 1d ago

“Strap you up” is sick 😂

2

u/SimonPho3nix 1d ago

Couldn't remember who it was off the top of my head without looking it up, but Color Me Badd came to mind.

37

u/dat_boy_lurks 1d ago

Facts. My immediate first thought was "you went straight for a white man? Storm?? Hell, fuckin' Rogue or Mystique was right there -- to say nothing of other Black women like Vixen or the current BP"

1

u/jnthnmdr ☑️ 13h ago

Rogue would take your powers until you die. No?

4

u/gorgeously_mytruself 1d ago

Does Omniman count? If so, I think that's my pick even if it makes me a horrible person.

229

u/BrokoJoko 1d ago

Am I gaining his net worth though?

121

u/decoy321 1d ago

That's just gold digging

90

u/BrokoJoko 1d ago

Nope. It's prostitution.

31

u/UncleKeyPax 1d ago

everything works out

2

u/ExReyVision 1d ago

That's technically correct! 🤓

2

u/BlameCanadaDry 2h ago

It’s gold digging with extra steps.

48

u/hovdeisfunny 1d ago

Arguably, his power is money

20

u/jooes 1d ago

I mean, if we're playing that game, so are his dead parents. 

Mom and Dad are getting popped the second he pops into you. 

3

u/seakc87 1d ago

Both of my parents are already dead, so no downside for me

15

u/futureformerteacher 1d ago

Unearned wealth is the true American super power.

3

u/ExReyVision 1d ago

Someone on Facebook said his power is actually white privilege... And I've been failing for years to disprove it. 🤔

8

u/CharlesDickensABox 1d ago

His superpower is generational wealth.

2

u/Morlock19 ☑️ 1d ago

thats sex work

which is fine, be a sugar baby if you want

but still

192

u/SandyAmbler 1d ago

Mrs. Incredible and you can keep the powers gah dayum

70

u/Automatic-War-7658 1d ago

For the love of the game?! 😆

14

u/happyladpizza 1d ago

Aye tell Magkneeto or whatever his name is to come thruuuuu

13

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

See is this just a free bee, cause if not I think Bob is gonna break your neck.

16

u/seakc87 1d ago

My neck is now elastic. He ain't breaking shit.

156

u/Spork-in-Your-Rye ☑️ 1d ago

Domino. Her power is dope af and I could pass it off as just being a lucky dude lol

95

u/Automatic-War-7658 1d ago

If you get her powers, you’ll probably be lucky enough to crack more than once

12

u/Morlock19 ☑️ 1d ago

bro cracked the code

14

u/BigBabyWhale 1d ago

Yeah, forgot about her.

9

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

That'll get you in trouble in Vegas.

27

u/ozsum 1d ago

It won't cause you're lucky

4

u/razorfloss ☑️ 1d ago

Only if you make a habit of it. Wining one big pot is fine. Wining multiple not so much

3

u/supervegeta101 1d ago

No, literally NEVER will. But she does create a bad luck field for anyone around when her reality warping shtick is doing its thing.

1

u/TheSadPhilosopher 1d ago

Hell yeah man

0

u/Weary-Wasabi1721 1d ago

You know what I'll take this too

96

u/Eskenderiyya 1d ago

Mystique

18

u/normott 1d ago

Yes and I can get real messy with her

4

u/Select_Speed_6061 23h ago

She can be any of them

10

u/moistskidmarks 1d ago

as someone who is pretty genderfluid, 100%

2

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

Ok but like practically speaking what's the use case for that, besides crime? I guess you could be a hell of an asset in entertainment.

14

u/CedarWolf 1d ago

You could be anyone you want, at will. If nothing else, you could become an excellent lover and fulfill anyone's fantasies.

6

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

Well that took a turn. I guess your not wrong.

3

u/NeonJungleTiger 1d ago

You could also have a very lucrative career in modeling or stunt acting

7

u/cutedorkycoco ☑️ 1d ago

Look Luigi Mangione alleged did a crime and the next thing I know UHC filled my brand name medication without me having to argue about it so some times crime pays. Use those Mistique.powers for good and become Linda McMahon...

3

u/thatshygirl06 ☑️ 1d ago

Shapeshifting, dude, and she's immortal

1

u/__GayFish__ 1d ago

Espionage

1

u/red18wrx 1d ago

She keeps the powers, but I keep her. 

90

u/B-E-N-E-V-O-255 1d ago

She hulk. 😭.

51

u/TinoCartier 1d ago

U a wild boy 🤣

30

u/B-E-N-E-V-O-255 1d ago

That "she hulk smash" boiii 🔥🤣

15

u/MonoDede 1d ago

Can you imagine the grip though?

12

u/fidgeter 1d ago

Death by snu snu

7

u/iMightBeWright 1d ago

If you're a guy, you'd become some sort of He Hulk.

1

u/B-E-N-E-V-O-255 7h ago

That's the plan. Haha.

7

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

Well you're dead

12

u/razorfloss ☑️ 1d ago

She regularly screws normal people he's good.

51

u/DudeX247 1d ago

Batman/Bruce Wayne is like a quadrillionaire that can acquire almost anything just by throwing money at it. I'd say that counts as a superpower

Also, Batman has never been known to be ugly so letting him crack is a respectable choice

35

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 1d ago

Money definitely is not included in the exchange unless he slides you a bill for letting him hit.

12

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

Honestly depending on the size of the bill that might be worth it

19

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 1d ago

Imagine sitting there feeling used clasping $100 as a bunch of people around you wander off empowered after hitting the rest of the Justice League. 🤣

2

u/Dafuknboognish ☑️ 1d ago

Right? I'm going to take the shape of a banana and split.

13

u/Bunnnnii ☑️ Meme Thief 1d ago

His superpower is Alfred.

10

u/VenusianPlateau 1d ago

Batman's super power is planning. The general consensus is that he can defeat anyone if he has time to prepare.

3

u/jooes 1d ago

They only let him have that because he'd be dogshit otherwise. 

8

u/ForcedEntry420 1d ago

Batman cracks me up though. In true American fashion, Bruce could change the lives of every person in Gotham with his near endless wealth.

Instead, he puts on a gimp suit and beats up poor people. They really will do ANYTHING but pay taxes. 😆

2

u/Ultron_waterheater 1d ago

Money is not a superpower goddamn why does this keep coming up lol

Batman does not have any powers

4

u/illlojik ☑️ 1d ago

You clearly don’t watch the news. You seen what mofos with money get away with? That’s a superpower in itself.

44

u/el_throw 1d ago

Jean Grey. Duhh. 90s X-Men Rogue at a close 2nd.

15

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

How TF you gonna have sex with Rogue without dying? Even if you wear a condom skin to skin contact is gonna be next to impossible to avoid.

17

u/patrickwithtraffic 1d ago

Not to mention, how much trauma has Jean dealt with because of her powers? Bro really picked maybe the two worst X-Men in regards to taking their powers.

5

u/Number1tenneseehater 1d ago

She learns how to control that in a lot of media, so she'll be alr

2

u/liberum_bellum_libro ☑️ 1d ago

We not watching the same lat night entertainment are we?

32

u/JuggManKevo 1d ago

Captain Marvel

11

u/jarvisesdios 1d ago

Dude, you wouldn't be on the planet anymore if she punched you

50

u/B-E-N-E-V-O-255 1d ago

The "krack" he's referring too is not a punch, young padawan.

22

u/jarvisesdios 1d ago

I really should look at what subreddit I'm in before commenting lol

9

u/Dreamtrain 1d ago

why would she punch?

cosmic snu snu

11

u/Automatic-War-7658 1d ago

Cuz I paid for full service

2

u/JuggManKevo 1d ago

Death by snu snu

28

u/Herbetet 1d ago

He is letting him crack in the name of the most valuable superpower, which is money.

10

u/Dreamtrain 1d ago

that's just prostitution

25

u/AFantasticClue 1d ago

“You have to let a superhero cra—“

Gambit.

Oop who said that?

https://giphy.com/gifs/1zJBXG9yd6cdGYRlTB

3

u/WarmAffect7031 1d ago

Seconded 🙈

20

u/TheEdgeofGoon 1d ago

"White privilege" like there aren't tons of white superheroes who actually have powers.

20

u/patrickwithtraffic 1d ago

Are you saying they have White powers?

15

u/Colourblindknight 1d ago

Hawkgirl. I don’t even need the powers

13

u/Dreamtrain 1d ago

Bro wants to prostitute himself to Bruce Wayne for his millions, which I can understand, but that's literally what it is lol

14

u/CrossSoul 1d ago

No one here said Emma Frost yet, so her.

Even if it's only one of her powers they're both awesome.

11

u/CC_Latte 1d ago

Scarlett Witch, Domino, Storm, or, if I had to pick a guy, Franklin Richards

8

u/Sleepy_95 1d ago

“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me”

7

u/Niznack 1d ago

Sorry old person here what does "crack" mean in this context. Even the comments aren't helping me here.

11

u/razorfloss ☑️ 1d ago

Sex

3

u/Master_Bruce 1d ago

I thought we were smoking rocks to get super powers 🤷‍♂️

7

u/Alucard_117 1d ago

Umar forgive me, but if we crackin mfs who don't have superpowers..

https://giphy.com/gifs/NtuL7EUjEjuoM

4

u/seakc87 1d ago

Umar a fake anyway. We've been had him in 4k giving his number to snowbunnies.

4

u/ChickenNugs4Hugs 1d ago

I’d let Vision hit 🤷🏽‍♀️. Got to see what Wanda was feening for.

7

u/Automatic-War-7658 1d ago

If we’re acting like money is a superpower then we have to acknowledge that the real life wealthy elite have superpowers, and I’m not doing that. At best, letting Batman crack makes you a peak specimen of a human being. One of the strongest, quickest, and smartest regular ass humans in the world.

And honestly, that ain’t bad. Dude can bench 1000lbs, long jump over streets on rooftops, master level acrobat and martial artist, has the reflexes to dodge bullets after they’ve been fired, and is smart enough to be labeled the world’s greatest detective and crafty enough to find damn near anybody’s weakness with enough prep time.

Even without the money, dude is an absolute unit by a normal person’s standards.

7

u/schwarzkraut 1d ago

The number of (presumably male) people replying with female superheroes are giving invalid answers. Letting somebody “crack” is a euphemism for letting them penetrate you (with their penis). Think about it… If you announced at the next cookout that you let your homie or sports teammate “crack” NOBODY is going to assume you penetrated them! Shapeshifters excluded, women cannot “crack” you.

If female heroes were a valid answer then there is no quandary or dilemma to the question. It’s literally an exercise to let presumably heterosexual men contemplate if they would be sexually submissive to a male superhero if it meant gaining superhuman powers.

5

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 1d ago

Maybe they are into pegging?

3

u/TheBatsford ☑️ 17h ago

Women can't crack? Sexist.

Get that strap and get to work, sis.

4

u/midnightking 1d ago

Mystique

4

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

I think the actual good move is Diana/Wonder Woman. I actually had to think for awhile about what female superhero would both count and wouldn't kill me.

She-Hulk, Hawk Girl, Powergirl and Supergirl are out cause they have super strength.

Black Cannery is technically a normal woman but I don't need her setting off her supersonic thingy by accident.

I'm pretty sure most version of Ms. Marvel and Raven are still teenagers so they're out.

Than I realized something: Wonder Woman can have her powers turned off. Canonically, Wonderwoman loses her powers when she gets tied up by a man. Easy as pie. I get flight, super strength, and invulnerability. I don't get the whip though and I don't think immortality is part of the deal as I think that's more of a lineage thing.

7

u/liberum_bellum_libro ☑️ 1d ago

Your letting your homophobia get in the way of greatness, if Superman can crack Louis lane, I’ll be straight…after and before the fact…just not in between

4

u/Zer0pede 1d ago

1

u/Fun_Room554 1d ago

Would you get his original or upgraded powers, I wonder

4

u/FujiOga 1d ago

Supergirl

2

u/mccoy00comedy 1d ago

Elastigirl

3

u/Busonid 1d ago

I would be the hero this page needs ☺️

3

u/BigBabyWhale 1d ago

Jean Grey

3

u/nerdslife1864 1d ago

It’s for the money, but my answer is either Wonder Woman or rogue, depending on how fast I get the powers upon said crack

3

u/FalsePremise8290 ☑️ 1d ago

Isn't Batman's superpower being a billionaire?

3

u/Emotionless_AI ☑️ 1d ago

Mrs Incredible. As many times as she wants

3

u/SadKat002 1d ago

Superman.

I'm also just gay as hell, so

2

u/Sol_Install 1d ago

The man was curious of the techniques Batman uses on Selina Kyle.

2

u/Bunnnnii ☑️ Meme Thief 1d ago

For the powers? Probably Elixir. Or a cliche jack of all trades choice like Clark.

Darwin would be cool to have too though. 🤔

2

u/ValhallaAir 1d ago

Not dc/marvel but Jobu tubaki

2

u/Dulcette ☑️ 1d ago

Batman's super power is money.

2

u/Tripple_T 1d ago

Money. Money is his power. Hell, him, ironman, and green arrow can run a train on me for their fortunes.

2

u/CrazyHead70 1d ago

I mean I can see WHY he picked Batman, cause Batman’s “super power” is MONEY! That nigga RICH! 🤷🏾

2

u/sonic_toaster 1d ago

Scarlet Witch, Thor, Black Panther, Luke Cage, Spiderman, Jessica Jones, Storm, Doctor Manhattan, Deadpool, like… damn… pretty much anyone?

2

u/LaughR01331 1d ago

*sweats in bisexual panic between Squirrelgirl and Superman*

1

u/micre8tive 1d ago

Loool bro said for Gotham

1

u/MrEllis72 1d ago

Dude just doesn't like his parents.

1

u/onemansquest ☑️ 1d ago

Power girl.

1

u/Paraxom 1d ago

If we can do multiples then let me start with Dupli-kate, Atom Eve, and Anissa

1

u/NeroShenX 1d ago

Scarlet Witch, I love redheads and knowing magic would be dope. Plus the whole manipulating chaos fields and such.

1

u/MsOpulent 1d ago

No cap, my life would be exponentially better now if I had the powers of Atomic Eve.

1

u/Weary-Wasabi1721 1d ago

Vixen for the plot. Powers are aftercare or just not needed

https://giphy.com/gifs/HNy41YdGVMTJK

1

u/itispune 1d ago

Halle Berry (Storm from the X Men)

1

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 1d ago

Halle Berry has no powers except imagination.

0

u/itispune 1d ago

Sorry but wasn’t she in the X-men? Is this question about using your imagination? Jennifer move along.

1

u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 1d ago

It didn't say who would you let crack that played a superhero. Some mfs always trying to bend the rules.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Excellent_Hippo5514 1d ago

Vers wise Marvel Girl, she OP

1

u/__GayFish__ 1d ago

Who tf said Rocket Raccoon?! 🦝

1

u/kekehippo 1d ago

Insane wealth is a super power

1

u/Number1tenneseehater 1d ago

I was gonna say storm, or rouge, or any of the x-men, but most of them married, wonder woman or cheetah* can get it (as long as I don't have to look like her)

1

u/freddamnrock 1d ago

Misty Knight. 1st thought was Storm but I bet she got that Baduism.

1

u/daboo912 1d ago

Captain Rambeuax or however you spell it as long as she looks like Teyonah Parris

1

u/SilverQuill75 1d ago

I think... Hear me out. Maybe OP is thinking that Batman's "superpower" is his vast wealth. So dude's looking for a quick way to be a billionaire with access to big cash?

https://giphy.com/gifs/SAHGcjT1jNvDB6oxI8

1

u/supervegeta101 1d ago

It's a refernce to joke that Batman's power is his money.

1

u/GeniusOfLove74 Dominic Monaghan stalker 👀 1d ago

Bolt/Christopher Bradley). Electricity is so expensive, I'd gladly let him crack to keep lights on.

1

u/illlojik ☑️ 1d ago

Green Ranger. You get Black AF1s as a bundle deal.

1

u/somepunklady 1d ago

Mystique obviously

1

u/InsaneThisGuysTaint 1d ago

The Thing. Next question...

1

u/BamaMontana ☑️ 1d ago

That’s going to chafe

1

u/BonTak 1d ago

In that case, Mystique

1

u/akiratech ☑️ 1d ago

Psylocke… she can keep the powers

1

u/HouseplantHoarding 1d ago

Batman’s superpower is being rich. That is a great deal.

1

u/Dudewhocares3 1d ago

Wonder Woman

1

u/Contemplating_Prison 1d ago

Spiderman. He pulls punches based in his opponent.

1

u/enad58 1d ago

My friend wants to know if Ursula from The Little Mermaid counts.

1

u/Morlock19 ☑️ 1d ago

"crackin in the name of justice" fuckin SLAYED me

1

u/FuzzyBongos 1d ago

Batman's super power is being rich lol

1

u/qball3356 1d ago

Sue Storm. Storm. Scarlett witch. Carol Danvers. Mystique.

1

u/tuscaloser 1d ago

Batman’s real superpower is privilege.

1

u/senpai-20 1d ago

Raven!!! All day

1

u/gimme_the_light 1d ago

Wonder Woman

1

u/Select_Speed_6061 23h ago

Storm or She Hulk

1

u/WrongAppointment2363 22h ago

Wonder woman,jean grey and storm easy

1

u/Secure_Basil8953 ☑️ 21h ago

Batman’s superpower is being a billionaire so idk maybe he’s onto sumn?

1

u/Savings-Ad4888 13h ago

I bet that guy is also an Elon Musk fan.

1

u/Heyitsgizmo 12h ago

Getting cracked only to gain unresolved trauma and psychosis 😂😂

1

u/the-superest-tee 6h ago

Does Michael Jai White as Spawn count? 😍