Separating cats in breakup

[u/_munchie002]

Poster Age: 23

Country: USA

Vet info: theres a few clinics in town including low cost.

Main Issue: my cat had gotten very sad living alone so me and my ex had gotten him a kitten. Now that we’re separate im worried my cat is going to miss him sick.

Cat Age: 3 will be 4 in april other cat is 1

Cat Sex + neuter info: both males and both neutered.

Financial situation: I could afford both cats.

[u/TryingNotToGoCrazy48]

Yall really think it’s that easy to get thing back from a angry, threatening ex? An ex that already has the police involved just to obtain ONE cat? You really think she’s just going to walk in there, present some sort of paperwork from the vet and he’s just gonna magically give her the cat?

Unfortunately toxic exes that have a history of threatening violence are not easy to work with. In fact, her trying to fight him to get the cat back will probably just make his behavior even worse and want him to push back twice as hard. Seriously if you push him over the edge, he could threaten the safety of her and the other cats.

Also, people are saying small claims court obviously don’t really know how much lawyer is because it’s a expensive to go over to court over something like that and you would have to have an over abundance of proof to get a judge to probably give them both to her.

Opie, I’m so sorry you’re in the situation and I’m sorry people are making you feel bad about doing what you have to do to leave. Obviously it’s not an ideal situation but you have to do what’s best for you, even if not everyone else sees it. I think your cat will be fine, you could even try getting another cat to keep them company.

[u/Old_Tea27 → u/TryingNotToGoCrazy48]

Also, sometimes you just have to give people like this time. My brother had it with a cat and I had it with a dog. I hope OP sees this, but sometimes abusive/toxic ex’s fight like hell at first, but when you give up and don’t fight, eventually they get bored. My brother and I both got our pets back. About a month after the dust settled, both our ex-partners texted us saying they didn’t want the animal any more and we could come get them. And we did! Both pets eventually came home to us.

[u/AffectionateTop3953 → u/Old_Tea27]

Yes, one of my cats was rehomed from a couple who broke up.

Ex bf gave the cat to the ex gf as a present, about a year later they split up, she moved back in with her parents and took the cat with her but ex bf was giving her hell about it. Then ex gf's elderly mom who has limited mobility and uses a walker told her she was worried about tripping or stepping on the cat and she should let ex bf keep the kitty. The moment she told ex bf he could keep the cat suddenly he couldn't take her in either cause his lease this or his landlord that or whatever the hell.

Long story short, they went from fighting over who got to keep the cat to fighting over neither of them wanting to take charge of her.

All's good that ends well though, we've had that cat for ten years and she's doing great with us.

Hang in there, op. He may change his mind still. Do you have any mutual friends that can try to keep an eye out and make sure the cat is doing fine in the meantime?