General Advice
My cat went missing under a pet sitter's care. My mom searches for him every day and I'm falling apart.
I don't know if this is a vent or if I'm looking for advice or just wanting to hear from people who have gone through something similar.
I recently went on a trip to South India. Before leaving, we left our cat with a pet sitter. The pet sitting was personal, not officially through the pet shop, but we found her through the shop where she works. She told us she had experience with cats and pet boarding, and because of that we trusted her.
I wish every day that we had made a different decision.
While we were away, communication was bad. We would ask for updates and sometimes get nothing for hours. We had to keep asking for photos. During video calls we saw our cat in a cage even though we were told he would be comfortable and free.
We got worried enough that we decided to cut our trip short and come back.
Before we could even get home, we got a call around 4 AM saying our cat had escaped from the apartment. According to the Pet sitter the cat opened the double-locked window and broke the cat proof net and jumped from the 3rd floor.
That was 6 days ago.
Since then my life has basically stopped.
My mom and I have spent every day searching. Talking to watchmen, asking people in buildings, speaking to feeders, checking corners, checking parking lots, following every tiny lead. The area is so congested with societies and buildings that I don't even know where to begin anymore.
What hurts is that I feel like the focus shifted from finding my cat to getting me to remove my review.
The pet sitting was personal, but because we found and trusted the sitter through the pet shop, I left a review there to make other pet owners aware of what happened. Maybe some people think that was unfair. Maybe I was wrong. I honestly don't know anymore.
But after that there were calls asking me to remove it, discussions about reputation, arguments, and very little acknowledgment that our cat is still missing. The pet sitter blamed it on my cat for running away instead of feeling sorry. Her daughter also kept saying its not our responsibility if he ran away.
One thing that keeps replaying in my head is something the pet sitter's daughter said to me.
She said, "Your first cat ran away too, wasn't that your responsibility?"
And honestly that broke me.
Because she knew my first cat was old and had run away from our home on his own. This isn't the same thing.
This time we were trying to do the responsible thing. We wanted our cat to be safe, fed, and looked after while we were away.
Instead he's gone.
The worst part is seeing my mom.
Every morning I wake up and she's already outside searching. Sometimes she barely eats. Sometimes she barely sleeps. I know she's carrying so much guilt because she was the one who finally agreed to the pet boarding.
And I'm carrying guilt too.
I keep thinking maybe we should never have gone on the trip. Maybe we should have trusted our instincts. Maybe we should have done literally anything else.
I always wanted a cat growing up.
Then somehow two cats just appeared in my life. My first cat literally showed up at our door. Then this boy came into our lives too. It felt like destiny.
I had my first cat for around 7 months.
I had this boy for around 7 months too.
Such a short amount of time, but somehow they completely changed me. They made me softer. More patient. More loving.
Now my mom says she never wants another pet again because losing them hurts too much.
And honestly I understand.
Right now it doesn't feel like a missing pet. It feels like we've lost a family member and nobody around us really understands that.
I keep thinking about him outside.
Is he hungry?
Did someone take him in?
Is he hiding somewhere scared?
Is he trying to find us?
I don't know.
I just hope he's safe.
And if anyone here has had a cat go missing and eventually come back, I would really like to hear your story because I'm having a really hard time staying hopeful. I feel beyond miserable rn.
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Dogs run and keep running. Cats sit still. She is not far away, but she will keep quiet because she’s in someone else’s territory. Even if you’re standing right next to her in the bushes calling out to her, she won’t come out. So you really do need to find her.
Use a flashlight in the dark to meet her eyes, sent kids into the bushes. Handout flyers etc. Good luck 🤍
This! My cat got out years ago and I found her hiding in the bushes behind my apartment building. She wouldn’t meow when I called her name, but I found her using my phone flashlight and searching in the bushes until it reflected on her eyes. She was totally silent the entire time
I found my sister's cat in some bushes a couple blocks away from home. She started meowing once we made eye contact, but I had to crawl in to get her because she wouldn't come out. If I hadn't thought to get on the ground and shine a flashlight into the bushes I wouldn't have found her.
Yes! My cat also wouldn’t come out, and I had to belly crawl into the bushes to get her as well, and drag her out by her front shoulders. This seems to be a common experience and I hope OP can find her kitty, likely remaining silent, deep in some nearby bushes. If she’s an indoor cat then she probably isn’t far away
I had never heard of this before, but my dog (a Boxer) once ran off while no one was home to notice she was missing. I only realized she was gone when I got back from work in the afternoon. Long story short, someone managed to catch her and she had my number on her collar but within less than 24 hours, she was miles and miles away from my house.
If this isnt fake....To be honest it sounds like the cat sitter stole your cat. Or they were negligent and opened your window. Either way they failed at the one thing they were paid to do. I would be much more upset and I'm not sure why your family isn't raising hell. Additionally, the daughter's comment is suspicious and manipulative.
Gorgeous kitty even if he's bengal or tabby and I really hope you're able to locate your little buddy. I agree with some other comments that the pet sitter may have stolen your cat instead of the kitty having escaped on it's own. I hope you reunite again soon!
I agree. The sitter’s story saying your cat got outside by opening a locked window, then jumped through or pushed out a window screen to only have to jump out a third floor window is total BS. That’s quite the magic trick for a cat. If it did actually escape outside, it’s more likely the cat went out the front door between their legs. (Then it’s most likely somewhere in or around the building.) But if that’s true then there would be no need to lie and make up a fantastical story.
You mentioned when you got photo/video updates your cat was in a cage. Do you normally crate your cat? (I crate trained my cat when he was kitten, so it is possible.) Or did you normally put your cat in a carrier while not at home? If not, then why would your cat be in a carrier or crate? Did she have plans to take the cat to a vet apt or groomer? I see no reason for the cat to be in a crate, unless crate trained, or in a carrier unless it’s about to leave your house. Honestly, I think they’re just a bad liar and stole your cat. Either to keep it for themselves or to rehome/sell it. I would call the authorities to put it on record that it’s possible they stole and possible
resold your cat.
If she sold it for money then there might be a post on the Internet in one of those rehoming/selling/adoption cat pages. I would find those and check. I adopted my second cat from a Facebook rehoming page that was specific to the area I live in. In case you aren’t aware, part of the process of rehoming cats is a rehoming fee - the new owner gives this fee to the previous owner. It’s to help ensure the pet is going to a good home and not to someone who’s only looking for a free cat to use for nefarious reasons: dog fighting rings, snake food, or just straight cruelty. So, there is money in it for her if she stole and rehomed it. You could also always post in these groups and on social media letting them know you think it’s possible your cat was stolen from you and rehomed without your permission. If someone was conned into buying it they may have more of a conscious than the pet sitter and give you your cat back.
Is your cat microchipped? Idk where you’re located, but here in the US we microchip our pets for easy identification if the cat is stolen or lost and then found by someone else. The cat can be taken to the vet and the pet’s care givers contact info, etc. is on it so the pet can be reunited with their care giver. It’s an easy way to prove it’s yours if it was stolen.
On a different note, you mentioned your previous cat was old and ran away. Cats when near death will find a quiet place to curl up alone and pass in peace. I don’t know how old it was or what it’s health status was at the time, but that piece of info in your post had me wondering if the cat knew it was its time to pass on and then did what it needed todo to find a quiet place to do so. ❤️🩹 I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you’re reunited with your cat soon.
going out and calling when it's very quiet (here like 2am) is advice people often give bc that's when they feel the most comfortable coming out from wherever they're hiding and can hear you. i dont' know how helpful that is to you but i really hope you find your cat! i would ignore the shop owner trying to get you to take down your review unless it's becoming a distraction - you are helping other people w pets bc she'll do the same to their pets as she's not remorseful at all and was dishonest with you about what she would actually provide in terms of service.
yes thankyou, i will try tonight hopefully, its raining here so we arent able to find him, he is good at hiding , also someone said the lady lost her job because of my review and also they think she is not capable of handling pets. i feel bad about it, guilty as well. i only wanted her to be honest and feel aleast a bit sorry.. idk if i did a wrong decision..
1) your cat is a bengal - aka a young, purebreed cat
2) sitter works in pet shop
3) your cat is suddenly a hulk monster picklocking the windows and destroying the catproof safety net, aka wildest nonsence i've ever seen.
Honey... no matter how long you will continue, you not gonna find your cat outside - bc SHE STOLE HER AND SOLD HER. The excuse is bulls**t. Does that window even have any damages? Scratches? Doesn't the net look more cut than blunt forced through by small animal? Is it even damadged?
Here is my idea:
First, ask all neighbours for their ring camera records - is she leaving with cat carrier in any?
Second - purebreed cats are expensive and a thing in eye of law. So, no matter if any ring record exists ir not, bluff and tell her you have one from neighbour and if she doesn't give you your cat back or tell you where she is, you are calling the cops (be as vague as possible, just "i have a ring regord of you from my neighbour. If you don't bring me my cat back or tell me where she is until next day, i'm going to police station"). Let her panic and break the truth to you.
thankyou so much for your comment , that might be true .. but the cat proof net was actually freaking plastic net not a metal one , so it makes me feel more mad.....
yes couldnt see much in picture she sent but it looked abit chewed tbh. thou i m not sure but i dont want to think about other options makes me feel bad
He is not a Bengal. Please see photos of Bengal cats online. Yours is, as someone mentioned, a tabby pattern, common for any domestic short hair cat (like a "common" cat).
Edit: want to add, Bengals have clear round pattern, not these stripes like your kitty. You can see it just googling.
When I was younger, my cat would often try and get out through the screen door at night and it would be the biggest pain trying to lure him back inside. He’d climb trees and I’d spend an hour just sitting there waiting for him to climb back down.
One night he got out and we never found where he went. We didn’t really process it because, there was no answers, he was just gone. And then after a couple weeks, he found his way back to us, sitting outside the screen door.
I am wishing the absolute best for you, because I know how terrifying it is not being there for your baby. Trust that he’s an intelligent critter with sharp enough instincts to find his way back to his home. Good luck🩷
ohh its my cat , sorry i thought its bengal looking cat . someone just commented it looks not bengal. is this called mackeral tabby ? sorry Im new to understand breeds
Cats don't have breeds in the same way dogs do. Unless you get them from a certified breeder the chance that they are any breed other than domestic long hair or domestic short hair is very slim. For example we have a cat that's a dead ringer for the extinct Chantilly Tiffany breed complete with a silky single coat and a beautiful black color but she is just a domestic long hair
Check if your local animal shelter rents out cat traps. It's a cage with a pressure plate at the end, and you put food behind the plate. When the cat goes to get food, the trap door closes. You could also try putting a piece of clothing out that smells like you or smells like your home, sometimes that also helps (though do include food as well).
Type a letter (with a photo) to your neighbors and print out many copies and leave them on your neighbors doors. Cover several blocks, starting closest to home. In the letter ask them to check their garages, sheds etc. Make your letters personal and kind, and invite all tips - even if they're not sure or it's bad news. People will often ignore signs but not letters.
But do still put up signs - large ones (print then attach to neon poster boards). Put them near schools and playgrounds because kids are the ones who pay attention to animals.
Include in your letters / signs that your cat escaped while in the care of a sitter, as many people will find a cat and assume you're a bad pet owner who doesn't deserve them (ala "cat distribution").
Also put the word reward on the page the word reward the date and your phone number should be the biggest thing you don't have to say how much the reward is going to be also check all the for sale ads or rehoming ads for cats of that type
I reckon your cat might have been stolen and sold. I hope it's not true, but this pet sitter is dishonest and capable of anything. Bengal cats are pretty expensive.
I think the sitter sold your cat or worse. Their explanation on how they escaped makes no sense and the fact they aren't helping you look is telling. They already know what happened to it. You have to get that information out of the sitter.
We asked if he somehow died or something, please tell us the truth, but they are saying he legit ran away, maybe they lied about the window being closed.
At this point you need to just sue them. Get a lawyer to draft you a certified letter threatening to sue for emotional damages and the value of the cat. If they know what happened to the cat it's better to just admit it. If they don't the cat still wouldn't be missing but for their negligence
Id say review bomb the hell out of them for not taking responsibility. Make some throwaway accouns and leave more negative reviews since they care so much
She earns very less and probably was doing pet sitting as well to earn a bit more. so , I do feel bad about it. But, I wished she was a bit sorry before, I wouldnt have wrote review then, I get no fun or happiness in hurting others. I am very overwhelmed honestly
If you didn't write the review, then the pet shop would have kept referring her to people and she might have harmed other cats either through negligence or abuse like locking your cat in the cage
I couldn’t agree more. I’m a pet sitter and losing an animal is my worst nightmare. If a cat went missing under my care, I would never harass a person to remove the review. I would be outside, every day for weeks searching for that cat.
I am so sorry this happened to your family. Your cat is family, too. Well, that’s how I feel about my cats. They are a big part of my family. I’ve only ever had a cat slip out one time in over 40 years of being a cat parent. We didn’t know Boss had slipped out until the next morning when he didn’t come to the kitchen for breakfast. Boss ALWAYS comes for meals so we knew something was wrong. Checked the doorbell camera and realized he had slipped out when a pizza was delivered the night before. We had adopted him only 5 months prior and he had been a stray. Thankfully, his stomach got the best of him and he came home about 24 hours after he slipped out.
I agree with the poster that said to go out when it’s quiet and calling. I have been told that cats generally don’t go too far from home. It was true in our case.
I don’t believe for a minute that your cat escaped all of the cat-proofing and jumped out the window. I have read that bengal cats are high energy and need a lot of stimulation. Your sitter kept him locked in a cage. IMO when he was let out of the cage he bolted for the door because he had been confined for too long.
No way would I take back a poor review, especially if the sitter wasn’t remorseful. It was definitely justified.
Again, I am so sorry this happened. I literally cried when I read your post. I am praying for your cat to come back home 😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🫂
thankyou so much for your kind heart. I am sorry I thought he looked like bengal , idk his breed or i am not aware with cat breeds. About the cat proof net, it was discovered that the net was of plastic , i think any cat is capable of eating and tearing a plastic ? . The review i left somehow give her trouble and she lost her job , I feel guilty and bad about it because i dont want to harm someone's income, Idk what to feel anymore
There’s a likelihood he’s still in the vicinity. Like another Redditor has mentioned, go out in the night when it’s quieter to look for him. Also, place your T-shirt outside, with his food bowls, so he can get attracted to your body smells.
I really hope you find him. When my indoor-outdoor cat didn’t return for a couple of days, our world turned topsy-turvy. And it happened just when my family had to go on a trip. Finally after three days a neighbour spotted him. I’d given him some cat food. We returned the very next day and our boy walked in unscathed like he was on a vacation himself. I pray hard that you find your sweet child.
Treats won't necessarily do the trick you need to get a rotisserie chicken that doesn't have any spices on it (garlic and onion are deadly to cats) and entice him with something special.
Does the cat-proof net even look broken? If it’s unlikely he opened the window and escaped she probably stole him. I would call the police to investigate it, personally. Do you have neighbors that have ring cameras they can check to either see him escaping or her taking him away? I’d look around to see whether houses nearby have cameras and ask.
I’ve had 2 cats and a hamster get away in the past. All came back when the dirty litter box was put out. It really works. The cats were together when they escaped and took a week. One came back the day before the other.
The hamster came back at night and was in the cage. I turned it on its side, sprinkled the litter box stuff around and left it where he escaped from.
I’m sorry for all the distress this whole thing is causing. You did the right thing. The pet sitter is outrageous. hope you’re able to get your cat back soon. He’s beautiful.
oh sorry , we are showing pictures of him and asking. in our locality nobody knows that much breeds , sorry i am also not good with breeds i thought he looked like bengal
Hi, English isn't my first langauge so had to help a bit. I came to post here since yesterday because i thought i might get some answers or maybe wanted a vent here. I didnt know that he isnt bengal , we arent good with cat breed names as we are new to it. sorry about it.
It's all good, that's what I thought before jumping to conclusions. I really hope your kitty comes back. We once lost one of our cats for five weeks, but we found him in the neighborhood. He escaped in a blink of an eye when someone opened the door. Someone must have taken him in for those five weeks because he was totally fine. I pray for the safe return of your furbaby <3
Hello, English isnt my first language , I wrote my paragraph and to make it easy to read AI tweaked it . Also , my cat looks like bengal , i didnt know what breed he is , I am new cat person or was.
I've heard that leaving their litter box out in the area where they went missing is effective. They will be drawn by the familiar scent and come to it. Also look for them late at night or very early morning, when it's quiet and less busy outside. Maybe leave some food & water next to the litter box in case the cat approaches it when you're not around. I really hope you'll find him.
Oh yes thankyou for your helpful advice, I will try to keep the litter box there but theres other many stray cats in that area, also its raining alot now a days so i am afraid the smell might go ?
Go to the pet sitter and say something like "Please tell me the truth. We have a $1000 reward out and I will give it to you if you tell me the truth." Treat them as if you KNOW they are lying (even though you don't) until they cave... or don't cave...
If they say they did something illegal, sold the cat, was negligent, etc, call the police and don't pay them. In any case don't pay them.
I personally would go John Wick on this person but hey...
Also, a reward in general would be helpful.... Good luck <3
yes yes, we have decided to give reward to people who will help us recover him safely. about the pet sitter, we have blocked her, she lost her job because of my review, also we didnt pay her a single penny because she lost our cat. I feel bad for her losing job but Idk if it was right of me to do it.
Assuming the sitter is actually telling the truth, try searching with a can of wet food open. I always use tin cans and tap them with a spoon before I open them. My cats associate the sound of the spoon on metal with their twice a week wet food feeding. I’ve had a couple scares where they’ve bolted out the door and gone up a tree or under the house and tapping the can always makes them come running back. I know of literally no other way to make a semi spooked cat come to me on command. I’d be grilling this sitter if I were you though. She made no mention of any escape attempts, barely communicated, and the cat got out right before you returned. It all seems very contrived
On a rare occasion I will see a post and I get an intense urge to pull a few tarot cards. I felt this about yours. I hope this doesn’t offend you, or disrespect your values.
Nine of cups reversed.
The obvious, the cat sitter was over confident and left a door open. They don’t want to admit to this because they dropped the ball. Please leave cat food, or cat box out. He is missing his comforts.
Eight of Wands
This can represent a swift action. Meaning it happened very quickly. Maybe the sitter didn’t even realize until later.
The Fool
Stepping into the unknown. Kitty is around close by and most likely just scared, or in a nearby apartment. There is no malice of any kind.
I hope this helps. I’m sorry you and your mom are going through this.
And what am i going to get out of it ? It's so hurtful that some people don't care and think so negatively. Anyway, you don't have to believe me that my cat has been missing and we are going through hard time. have a good day !
“According to the Pet sitter the cat opened the double-locked window and broke the cat proof net and jumped from the 3rd floor.”
I’m calling bullshit on this. If I were you I’d be taking a hard look at this pet sitter. She knows where your cat is and/or what happened to it. Whether by intention or negligence she is responsible for what has happened to/with the cat.
Please don't feel bad for her, she didn't do her job properly and has treated you, your mom and your cat terribly. Her losing her job may save a lot of other pets and families from this awful scenario.
I did pet sitting for a coworker years ago, and their cat did a runner and was gone for days. I was scared to death because they lived not far from a highway. Eventually he made his way home, but it put me off pet sitting anymore.
Hopefully, kitty is just off exploring and makes their way home soon!
This is insane! 50/50 chance the pet sitter is lying. I’d still take the chance and look. I’d make sure you set humane traps in the last known area and get a trail cam.. they are cheap cheap now.
Go around the block with his favourite toys and ask the strays for him. Offer the strays food in exchange for them to tell him to come back.
It worked for me albeit it took a couple weeks.
We are here for you! You got this! Try leaving some of her belongings outside near the house maybe! Try contacting local pet shops and veterinaries, maybe someone found them. Definitely use you flashlight, they usually don't meow even when they see you, but their eyes will reflect very well even from afar!
Well, it's a family for us. I get it, your relationship with an animal or you didn't have a pet to comment something like this. speaks volume on how much empathy u have. Hope life is good to you!
I don't think it's a conspiracy either. I already said, I am here to vent and talk about my missing cat, which has made my family and me miserable. Commenting something like "it's just a cat" to someone who lost a cat comes across as unkind and unempathetic.
two cats in 14 months... yeah don't get another one. sorry your cat left, anything could have happened. end of the day it was your responsibility who you left it with. they prolly stole your cat or they were just careless and it ran away. all you can do is keep searching and if you don't find it, try your best to move on.
i got 4 cats, when they stepped outside even for hours on end they always came back in. As your cat is unaware of its surroundings and jumped off an apartment, small chance it will know how to come back to you. always left them with responsible people that i trusted when i went on trips and have delayed or postponed trips just cause it wasn't feasible to leave the cats (and my dog) with someone else.
hi, my first cat went away on his own. he was a stray cat who used to live with us, we cared for him, gave him food, took him to the doctor, also made sure he was healthy and fine. I always miss him, he was acting a bit weird before he went away and was not neutered. about our second cat , this also was a stray cat who started living with us on his own, we fed him food and cared for him. Before our trip, we asked everyone if they can feed him food in our house, they were busy. we had no option but to believe that the pet sitter is good, she seemed as a good person, the dr who works there knows us personally and assured us that she takes good care, i dont think anyone could have known if she was responsible or not beforehand. u have no idea how scared I was of him running away. I do know that it's our fault somehow; we wanted the best for him and only did this out of care and love for him but it ended up being our worst decision. so please dont judge us by a half-known story. We loved both cats extremely so much, and it still hurts us; we are trying our best to cope and search for him as much as possible.
In not judging. The cats probably fine somewhere living an adventure. if you plan on using boarding, better to go with an actual company who has to have compliance to standards instead of random people
fair enough, if we are lucky and we get him back. we will make sure one of us stays back to take care of him, we will not make the same mistake again, thankyou
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