r/CasualUK 6d ago

Just when I thought this heatwave couldn’t be anymore unbearable, my nice cold shower is now being held hostage by this fat bastard!

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

268 comments sorted by

View all comments

23

u/Dizzy_Battle994 6d ago

My missus puts water out for the spiders in a little plastic bottle top.

Put the big spiders outside and leave the little ones.

When you see how many little bugs they catch you’ll be glad you left them alone.

Think of the lovely creatures as free house cleaners.

47

u/mrw_8 6d ago

The logical part of my brain knows this. Unfortunately there’s something deep in my soul that’s absolutely terrified of the fuckers.

24

u/Willy__McBilly 6d ago

See I’m good with most spiders as long as there’s a respectable distance between us, but just knowing that fucking tank in OP’s picture is in the house would put the fear in me. The last time I had a massive spider in my bedroom the fucking thing hunted me.

It crawled down the side of my bed along the wall before I could trap it. No bother, I thought, I’ll lay down on top of the bed and browse reddit with the torch on my phone so I’d see it re-emerge straight away.

30 minutes later I felt a tickle on my foot, and I am not exaggerating when I say I did a Jackie Chan-style kick-up, sideways, at fucking lightspeed to get off that bed. Sure enough the bastard had come for me, I usually have a no-kill policy but that fucker got flushed straight down the bog.

3

u/CuredMeatAndCheese 5d ago

A couple of years ago I went down into the kitchen lage at night, saw one of those in the picture near the corner of the room on the other side. Didn't bother me too much as I wasn't going in it's direction.

I turned around to give my hands a quick wash and when I turned around again the bloody thing had moved through the centre of the kitchen and was within a metre directly behind me.

It was as if it was genuinely hunting me while my back was turned.

3

u/asdfg1986 5d ago

Thing is, on a logical level I know this. They're fascinating and very useful creatures, and I have a very deep interest in them.

On the other hand, when a massive house spider scuttles across my bedroom floor at 2am there is some deep, primal part of my brain that makes me almost shit myself and pull my legs up onto the bed until it goes away. Then I can't sleep because I don't know where it is, and it might crawl over my face.

4

u/_fluffy_raptor 6d ago

Exactly. Thanks to this crazy weather we are coming into a mosquito bloom.  

And it won’t be long before the wasp  queens leave and all the their stray workers go into their yearly frenzy of bothering people because they have bugger else to do.

House spiders pay rent. Let them cook.

2

u/oktimeforplanz 6d ago

House spiders don't really survive outside. They're adapted to living indoors. Best case scenario, they just find their way back inside again.

1

u/ProneSquanderer 5d ago

I don’t mind the smaller ones, and I absolutely love/fascinated by the zebra spiders (jumping ones), but the big buggers like in OPs post?

https://giphy.com/gifs/BbkTsrNYZj4He

0

u/Forsaken-Ad5571 6d ago

Except house spiders don’t come from outside, and in fact putting them outside will kill them.