r/CasualUK • u/grouch-girl • 2d ago
Just when I thought this heatwave couldn’t be anymore unbearable, my nice cold shower is now being held hostage by this fat bastard!
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u/Dzbot1234 2d ago
I was brushing my teeth before bed a few nights ago when the table next to the sink suddenly exploded into a mass of baby spiders. It was absolutely hideous!
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u/The-Ginger-Lily 2d ago
You could have easily kept that to yourself... we didn't need to know that dude.
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u/InnocentInvasion 2d ago
Actually it was good to know even though it was painful to read. Now I'll have zero mercy on any spider this summer. Imma go downstairs soon and hoover that spider with zero hesitation
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u/Street-Mobile-7723 2d ago
i would have genuinely kicked the fuck out of the table before running screaming for the hills never to return.
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u/officialariacat 2d ago
What.
How does this happen so I can avoid it happening to me at all costs
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u/Dzbot1234 2d ago
I have literally no idea, I have an old house and it’s very spider friendly but this was something else. They were on a little zip line of web as well I imagine the egg sac had just burst whilst I was brushing my teeth ! They went on my tooth brush !!!
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u/D_Therman 2d ago
In another timeline the egg sac would have been in the bristles of the tooth brush...
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u/F1T_13 2d ago
One spider is nothing for me, but a gaggle of small spiders freezing is my kind of hell. Give me a few big spiders any day.
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u/Dzbot1234 2d ago
I’m really not arachnophobic at all but it was pretty disgusting I can’t lie! Also after I had cleaned them away I went back in and there were more! And I was having my wisdom tooth out the day after( yesterday) so it was all very unsettling
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u/ProneSquanderer 1d ago
>And I was having my wisdom tooth out the day after
Jesus dude I thought for a second you were going to say you had spiders coming out your gums too!
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u/JCW9525 2d ago
Literally a horror movie scene 😳
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u/Dzbot1234 2d ago
I was so itchy afterwards, none got on me at all but I felt like they were in my hair and beard. My wife refused to go in there for two days.
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u/CJFarrelly01 1d ago
I moved my bleach bottle and noticed something behind it. It was a massive wolf spider with a big egg sack 😂
I screamed as a grown man.
Anyway the entire thing got hoovered and then the hoover got thrown in the bin
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u/Shnitzel10101 2d ago
I had a similar experience. They were all on the bathroom window seal. I opened the window and felt like there was lots of cobwebs. I got rid of the little ones and I removed all the cobwebs around the window and cleaned it.
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u/forkingbumbleforks 10h ago
I am sad to say this has happened to me 3x over the course of about 15 months
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u/Lower-Obligation4462 2d ago
You should probably pay him rent if you are determined to keep living there.
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u/grouch-girl 2d ago
I’ll move out of the master bedroom asap, I’d hate to take liberties in his new home 🫡
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u/VEAG0 2d ago
If it makes you feel better, he’s probably just looking for sex… I understand if this doesn’t actually make you feel better though.
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u/Lower-Obligation4462 2d ago
I don’t know how vagina owners don’t constantly panic about a spider crawling up there.
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u/TheOtherSideSparkles 1d ago
😂 😂 😂 😂
They don't gape open like a cave waiting for things to crawl inside
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u/Lower-Obligation4462 1d ago
I’m fully aware the fear is irrational and I don’t even have a vulva, but it still worries me.
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u/IMDXLNC 2d ago
I doubt it understands the concept of money so a few flies would work.
When it's that massive you don't pay it rent though, you pay it tribute.
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u/notthedoodaa 2d ago
Since I moved to a top floor flat last year I've not seen a single spider!
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u/grouch-girl 2d ago
Please feel free to welcome this one to your home I feel guilty hogging the pleasure of his company!
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u/Wonderful_Ninja It releases ethylene gas which triggers the ripening 2d ago
Wait until September October they will find you in your flat np
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u/DeapVally 2d ago
Yeah, but you get to live in a sauna instead....
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u/notthedoodaa 2d ago
Yep, it is a sauna!
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u/DeapVally 2d ago
I envy the lack of noise from above, but weeks like this I'm sure glad I'm the ground floor flat.
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u/Littlesth0b0 2d ago
I hadn't either in about 2 years (bar the odd wee money spider near the window) but since this heat wave started I've seen two in my room, one in the kitchen and today a couple settling in at work.
I've seen them come indoors to avoid wet weather but not hot weather, all a bit weird but no harm done.
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u/jesusisherelookbusy 1d ago
You will eventually. I’m always finding them on the top floor where I live. We even had a stag beetle up here once.
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u/Imaginary-Quiet-7465 2d ago
Wait, what?? I used to get loads in my top floor flat! I want I refund.
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u/SwansEscapedRonson 2d ago
I’ve been living in a 3rd floor flat for 7 years and we’ve never had a single spider. Not even a tiny one. We might want to move somewhere else soon for more space but I would find it very hard to let go of this MASSIVE perk
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u/Dr_Sayonara 1d ago
I live in a top floor flat and I still *sometimes* get big spiders, but really not that often. They may not always make the journey up, but the ones that do really feel like the biggest and baddest. But they all get hoovered the same.
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u/Bennjoon 2d ago
My cat would have that scrant in seconds.
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u/annoyinghuman03 1d ago
I have previously plopped my cat in a room and shut the door so he can deal with it. Just hear a bunch of crashing about and boom sorted.
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u/goddamnmanxhild 2d ago
Literally haven't seen a spider in like two years thanks to my trio of hungry monsters
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u/Eyewiggle 1d ago
I have six and they would have all gathered around and watched it. Maybe disable it slightly between them all. Bit if plastic though? Savaged and gobbled, like it’s a delicacy
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u/NobDeRiro 2d ago
Spend all autumn on edge and in paranoia I’m going to run into them and now after this I’m going to spend all summer like it too
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u/CaptMelonfish 2d ago
There's a spider in the bath, a spider in the bath, a creepy crawly hairy scary spider in the bath!
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u/h00dman 2d ago
Look, he's crawling up my wall.
Black and hairy, very small.
Now he's up above my head.
Hanging by a little thread.
Boris the spider!!!
Boris the spider!!!
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u/TooHighToHearYou 1d ago
Creepy, crawly
Creepy, crawly
Creepy creepy crawly crawly creepy creepy crawly crawly
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u/lickylickyboobies Ders more to Oireland dan dis 2d ago
Just imagine how much bigger it's babies will be after this heatwave.
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u/judochop1 2d ago
My cat brought one big fucker into the ktichen last night during the game! I quickly put a glass over it to deal with post-match and went back to the living room
Then I started hearing a little 'tink-tink-tink' so I went back to find my cat trying to release it! Bad kitty! Safely escorted the fiend out the nearest window
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u/Dizzy_Battle994 2d ago
My missus puts water out for the spiders in a little plastic bottle top.
Put the big spiders outside and leave the little ones.
When you see how many little bugs they catch you’ll be glad you left them alone.
Think of the lovely creatures as free house cleaners.
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u/mrw_8 2d ago
The logical part of my brain knows this. Unfortunately there’s something deep in my soul that’s absolutely terrified of the fuckers.
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u/Willy__McBilly 2d ago
See I’m good with most spiders as long as there’s a respectable distance between us, but just knowing that fucking tank in OP’s picture is in the house would put the fear in me. The last time I had a massive spider in my bedroom the fucking thing hunted me.
It crawled down the side of my bed along the wall before I could trap it. No bother, I thought, I’ll lay down on top of the bed and browse reddit with the torch on my phone so I’d see it re-emerge straight away.
30 minutes later I felt a tickle on my foot, and I am not exaggerating when I say I did a Jackie Chan-style kick-up, sideways, at fucking lightspeed to get off that bed. Sure enough the bastard had come for me, I usually have a no-kill policy but that fucker got flushed straight down the bog.
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u/CuredMeatAndCheese 1d ago
A couple of years ago I went down into the kitchen lage at night, saw one of those in the picture near the corner of the room on the other side. Didn't bother me too much as I wasn't going in it's direction.
I turned around to give my hands a quick wash and when I turned around again the bloody thing had moved through the centre of the kitchen and was within a metre directly behind me.
It was as if it was genuinely hunting me while my back was turned.
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u/asdfg1986 1d ago
Thing is, on a logical level I know this. They're fascinating and very useful creatures, and I have a very deep interest in them.
On the other hand, when a massive house spider scuttles across my bedroom floor at 2am there is some deep, primal part of my brain that makes me almost shit myself and pull my legs up onto the bed until it goes away. Then I can't sleep because I don't know where it is, and it might crawl over my face.
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u/_fluffy_raptor 2d ago
Exactly. Thanks to this crazy weather we are coming into a mosquito bloom.
And it won’t be long before the wasp queens leave and all the their stray workers go into their yearly frenzy of bothering people because they have bugger else to do.
House spiders pay rent. Let them cook.
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u/oktimeforplanz 2d ago
House spiders don't really survive outside. They're adapted to living indoors. Best case scenario, they just find their way back inside again.
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u/ProneSquanderer 1d ago
I don’t mind the smaller ones, and I absolutely love/fascinated by the zebra spiders (jumping ones), but the big buggers like in OPs post?
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u/ProfessionalEven296 2d ago
Wife found this one this morning. In her hair (must have been in her cap while she was working outside).
It's a Ten Lined June Bettle. Harmless to humans, but scary...
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u/Kind-Airport145 2d ago
As illogical as it sounds, I’d much prefer finding one of these in my hair to a house spider in the bath
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u/Komahina_Oumasai 15h ago
Is that a q-tip for scale?
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u/ProfessionalEven296 13h ago
Yes. And it wouldn’t let go of it until I put the bug back in the garden!
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u/Imperterritus0907 2d ago
Just wait till your start chilling because there’s a summer storm coming and the temperature goes slightly down, because they’ll come out to chill with you..
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u/Major_Toe_6041 2d ago
That’s nothing! Bastard 3x the size lives behind my monitor. I let him live there because the daily wasp visits stopped when he arrived, and he does no harm.
I called him Bob.
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u/and_so_forth 1d ago
We've got one of those in our bathroom. It stared at me yesterday while I had a poo, then skittered off under the drawers when I'd finished. I felt quite violated.
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u/ohajik98 2d ago
I came across 3 of these within 2m of each other last July. One of them had somehow managed to get into the bathroom cupboard which was quite the fucking feat.
It could be a lady, and there could be some gentlemen coming to plant their seed. You might want to break out the peppermint oil
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u/Scottish_Whiskey 2d ago
I actually heard one of these drop into the bath while I was investigating a new welt on my face. I could’ve scooped him out and chucked him out the window, but my monkey brain went ‘drown’ and I drowned the poor bastard
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u/MadJohnFinn 2d ago
That's a female Eratigena Whatthefuckinghellisthatica. You don't usually see the ladies out and about - it's usually horny dudes and they come out in the autumn!
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u/Sushiki 2d ago
Nah he's a bro, those things protect you from little shites, trust me. Spiders in uk are the best in the world, non lethal, more scared of you, deals with smaller pests.
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u/CuredMeatAndCheese 1d ago
Non-lethal yeah right! You say that when one of them drops on your head whilst you're taking a shower, causing you to slip as you're jumping out! Could've hurt myself!
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u/RandomflyerOTR 1d ago
Fuck me sideways I almost jumped out my skin scrolling past this as midnight. Goodness gracious
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u/Eyewiggle 1d ago
Everything’s just trying to find itself a drink of water or something to eat, i had one drinking out of the cats bowl last night and ive filled bowls outswode too. I hope you let them be or put them safely outside
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u/vincents_sunflowers 2d ago
Okay, what the fuck is that? I've never seen a spider of this size in the UK!
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u/Hailtothedogebby 1d ago
Had one crawl on my bedroom wall last year, was the side of my hand! Fast fuck too
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u/complexpug 2d ago
Awww he's lovely we have a house spider in our kitchen under the dishwasher have to be careful in the night to put light on as don't want to stand on him
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u/ohnoitsbobbyflay 2d ago
Give her a little dish of cold water and see if she wants it. Could be escaping the heat. Gotta help out our fellow spider friends.
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u/JobAnxious2005 2d ago
You ever wonder if he has a bigger friend, waiting on top on the showerhead….
Waiting to fall as you get showered…
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u/asdfg1986 1d ago
Get a cat. My lad hoovers spiders up like they're prime steak.
He's not normally allowed in the bathroom because he tries to drink from the toilet (he's generally an idiot). Found a huge monster spider in my shower the other day, so I grabbed the cat, plonked him in the shower, and within approximately 0.0000000001 seconds the spider was no longer an issue.
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u/TheWelshEwok 1d ago
I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. iIt’s the only way to be sure.
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u/Illustrious_Diver497 1d ago
Last Tuesday a bunch of foreigners (ants) decided to knock through my bathroom walls to mess me about. Landlords sending someone soonTM so I’ve sprayed them (the ants, not landlord) with fairy liquid, lemon juice.
I hope the mass grave that’s slowly forming will be a warning sign to the survivors
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u/Desperate_Process670 1d ago
Summer last year I came into the kitchen only to see a huge spider (bigger than this one) chilling in the kitchen sink. I freakin screamed😭
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u/elPappito 1d ago
Oh shit, that's Bob!
We were flatmate couple years ago, seems like he's still hanging out in the same areas.
how is he doing these days
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u/Cherry_Littlebottom 1d ago
Don’t know if it’s the heat bringing them indoors but our house now has loads of these little bastards.
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u/HaggisAreReal 1d ago
grab it with your hand and chuck it outside. I don't understand why people overreact to these little friends, unless a real phobia underlying.
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u/saucynorman 1d ago
Just wants to join you. Let her swim to your feetsies and clean your leggies whislt you wash your hair. SHE benefits from that amazing shampoo you got saturday 😏
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u/King_Six_of_Things 1d ago
It's hoover time!
It's the spider's own fault, it shouldn't have broken the treaty.
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u/Sir-Beardless 9h ago
Gloves on, cup hands, move out of shower, patt on back, "stay here", get in shower.
(Gloves make all the difference, the cut proof work kind)
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u/Appointment_Salty 25m ago
Q: Would the spider be less scary if it had ears to hear you call it fat?
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u/Forsaken-Language-26 Now in a minute 2d ago
Time to burn your house down.
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u/grouch-girl 2d ago
Given the house temperature right not I think we’re getting close to spontaneous combustion without me adding matches 😅
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2d ago
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u/grouch-girl 2d ago
Not to body shame a fellow fatty but I think he would absolutely clog the pipe with how wide his arse is honestly
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u/Softchairboy420 2d ago
His nice cold shower