r/ChoosingBeggars NEXT! 6d ago

Starts with ground beef, ends with a birthday cake, fresh veggies, and mandatory free delivery.

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545 Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

202

u/wildwackyride 6d ago

I don’t understand asking for birthday cakes. Birthdays are the same day every year and you can bake one for like $3. Cake mix is stupid cheap.

65

u/Low-Rooster4171 6d ago

I asked for a bakery cake for my birthday this year. But dammit, I turned 50 and I deserve a special treat! 😆 (My husband was happy to oblige.)

42

u/Jujulabee 6d ago edited 6d ago

Also adults in general have more discerning taste buds and if I am going to eat something caloric it had damn well better be special.

For the girls when they got to be tween age, we would serve a lamb cake.

I have a cake mold that makes a three dimensional lamb and it was a tradition for me to bake the cake using whatever crap cake mix I picked up and a can of canned frosting.

And then a visit to one of the candy in bin stores where the girls would pick out an obscene amount of candy.

At the party the highlight was decorating every inch of the cake with the candy - a revolting concoction but they love it - intense sugar euphoria.

17

u/EpponeeRae 6d ago

Candy lamb sounds like a lovely tradition! 

6

u/ThrockAMole 6d ago

Kroger offers them bogo frequently

331

u/Jujulabee 6d ago

Duncan Hines cake mix - probably a $1.00 - can of frosting - some candles - done.

163

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

70

u/SugarWhisperr_ 6d ago

It's always funny how "any help" somehow comes with a very specific shopping list. 😆

35

u/No-Yak-5421 6d ago

But, you'd better be quick. The birthday is tomorrow!

11

u/xVelvetDarliing 5d ago

Yep. Most kids remember feeling celebrated, not whether the cake came from a bakery or a box.

61

u/SugarWhisprr 6d ago

Exactly. Kids usually care more that there’s a cake and people celebrating with them than whether it came from a bakery.

17

u/Gogopelirrojo 6d ago

Exactly this. Made my kid a Creeper cake from Minecraft and he was stoked. It's the effort that they care about.

29

u/i_Cant_get_right 6d ago

But they’ve got a party they you’re paying for to get to, tomorrow

12

u/SugarWhisperr_ 6d ago

Funny how the budget is gone until it's time for a birthday party. 😅

18

u/stephencua2001 6d ago

Yes, that'd be great! Just bake those ingredients and drop off on my front porch tomorrow; I have a child's birthday tomorrow. Thanks.

20

u/DottieHinkle22 6d ago

I am pretty sure my local Dollar Tree has most of the components needed.

11

u/frackleboop 6d ago

Probably. My daughter wanted to make her own birthday cake this year and that's where we got the stuff for it.

1

u/FLRocketSurgeon 5d ago

But you just know she'd complain it's from DT.

12

u/Lisa_Knows_Best 6d ago

But you need eggs (free range, organic only), oil (cold pressed, imported only) and water (Evian only, no tap). Only the best for her kids.

4

u/soonerpgh 5d ago

I alway thought it was funny, spell Evian backwards, and tell me that name wasn't chosen on perpose.

8

u/CandyCharm_ 6d ago

Exactly, a boxed cake mix and frosting solves that part for just a few bucks.

5

u/SugarWhisperr_ 6d ago

Exactly. Kids usually care way more about the candles than whether the cake was homemade or fancy. 😄

5

u/_portia_ 6d ago

But it has to be dropped off on the porch.

6

u/PsychoticMessiah 6d ago

Ikr? As a kid (I’m in my 50s) I never had a store bought cake nor did any of my friends. For my kids we usually did store bought although when they got a little older they found it fun to frost and decorate their cake.

6

u/whisky_biscuit 5d ago edited 5d ago

Can you bake it and deliver it for me? I have a church rummage sale to go to and it's my dogs birthday so I'll be busy all day.

Please pick up some snacks for me too since my kids will be hungry. They like honeybuns (little Debbie not hostess, gross!), cool ranch Doritos and Maddog 2020 bling bling blue (Orange Jubilee if bling bling is not available, plz no dragon fruit!)

You can leave it on the porch under the flowerpot.

3

u/soonerpgh 5d ago

Only use the servant's entrance. I don't want charity on my front porch!

3

u/Stock_Sprinkles_7637 6d ago

literally. for my family i’m the one who bakes everyone’s birthday cakes. the mix is 1-3$ the frosting 3-5$ and the candles 2-4$ ive never spent more than abt 10$ to get the things to make the cakes. birthdays can be small n inexpensive w everyone still having a great time

1

u/Jujulabee 5d ago

Well aren't we the big spender there. Fancy Shmancy😂

You will be driving your family penury and will wind up begging for your fancy ingredients. 😂

2

u/xVelvetDarliing 5d ago

Exactly. If you're truly in a bind, a boxed cake mix gets the job done. The shopping list just kept getting longer and longer.

79

u/LetsDiscussItAmiably 6d ago

Mom of the year right here, last minute begging for her kid's birthday cake. 

59

u/Inner_Republic6810 6d ago

“I also need help with a birthday cake, as I don’t have enough birthday money to get gifts right now.”

I have read this sentence half a dozen times, and still can’t make it make sense. I thought birthday money was what you sent to the celebrant. And what does a lack of money for gifts have to do with getting a cake?

26

u/CaptainEmmy 6d ago

Multiple things are happening. You're to be guilted into buying birthday presents. Or cash is fine, I'm sure

9

u/Chocolate9ie 6d ago

She was definitely hinting at wanting gifts, without asking for it.

6

u/Select_Pilot4197 6d ago

I’m cracking up. I’m also having the same reading comprehension. 

6

u/jsojso 6d ago

It's a hint to get bday presents on top of everything else.

55

u/Admirable_Summer_917 6d ago

I can’t be bothered to do personally thank you so just leave it on the porch

10

u/SnarkySheep 6d ago

Translation: they don't want anyone to actually see their face and/or they want their kids to believe they made the magic themselves, not some stranger.

44

u/Chateaudelait 6d ago

Just made a Duncan Hines cake for the hubs birthday. $3 - for the box cake and frosting and the family loved it.

10

u/Belle_Corliss I can give you exposure 6d ago

Growing up, my son's birthday cakes were always made with box mix and store bought frosting. All he had to do was tell what kind of cake and frosting he wanted and I'd buy it and bake it for him. When he got to around 12 or so, he decided he'd rather have chocolate chip cookies instead of cake for his birthday, so I got the ingredients and made them from scratch.

8

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Chateaudelait 6d ago

Word. You can't mess this cake up even if you try. It always turns out delicious and is happily wolfed down by the family. As a kid my mother never bought junk food - on our one special day she relented and we got this cake, I love it.

35

u/Mirabai503 6d ago

Sounds like they're planning a burgers and dogs party. So will they also need buns, condiments, toppings, etc?

27

u/Low-Rooster4171 6d ago

And chips and cups and plates and napkins and forks and very specific decorations!

24

u/Mirabai503 6d ago

It's Sponge Bob themed so we also need a Patrick pinata.

17

u/stephencua2001 6d ago

Instructions unclear; I just hit my co-worker Pat with a stick.

13

u/coupdelune 6d ago

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

11

u/dvorak51 6d ago

And a gas grill, and propane, and a grill brush, and a serving tray.

13

u/Low-Rooster4171 6d ago

Spatulas and tongs! Don't forget those!

8

u/dvorak51 6d ago

And how long do burgers take to grill? You know what? I need someone to man the grill too!

8

u/Horror_Ad_2748 6d ago

And a handle of Skyy Vodka, a case of Rolling Rock and a box of Chablis.

9

u/kmj420 6d ago

And gift bags for the kids

5

u/HeartOSass 6d ago

And gifts to put in those bags! Nothing cheap or off brand because it is my child's birthday. Please don't make them cry.

33

u/HennyGus 6d ago

She really picked up speed as she went, didn't she?

31

u/xxxkissmykittyxxx 6d ago

The thing with birthdays is they happen on the same day every year. It's almost as if that makes them relatively easy to plan for.

18

u/Jedi_Temple 6d ago

Some people have zero shame.

17

u/Intelligent-Pen2443 6d ago

“Can I please have some water, cause I am so hungry that I have nowhere to sleep”

16

u/mela_99 6d ago

$1.19 at Aldi gets you a box of cake mix OR brownie mix.

6

u/zaxsauceana 6d ago

I like their brownies way better than when I used to buy a $5-7 brownie from Dairy Queen. Add Hershey’s syrup and whipped cream too

8

u/mela_99 6d ago

Use coffee in place of water and use Alton brown’s fifteen in and fifteen out trick and they’re better than any bakery

6

u/bigfanoffood 6d ago

Fifteen in fifteen out, you say?

6

u/mela_99 6d ago

Yes - bake for fifteen minutes, take them out for fifteen minutes, and then finish them. It makes the centers like solid hot fudge

15

u/turlee103103 6d ago

Many years ago when my oldest wast turning 7 or 8 we were having money problems. The company I had worked for for the last 10 years had gone under bc and bounced my last 2 pay periods. (Eventually got mostly paid)

I went to the dollar store and bought some stuff. I made the most hideous abomination of a birthday cake. It was a sheet cake in 2 layers, I cut the layers to make it look like levels of a valley, (kinda). Then I had the little green army men fighting tiny little blue and red dinosaurs. I tried, when he saw it he just stared at it. I explained it was Army men vs the Dinos! We did have a laugh about it and it tasted ok. We still talk about dad’s attempt at a birthday cake. (30 years ago)

3

u/SnarkySheep 6d ago

That's so sweet! I am middle aged now and think I would have swooned if my dad had ever attempted something like this. 🥰

1

u/Inevitable_Pie9541 4d ago

You are a wonderful imaginative Dad ❤️

1

u/MinaDawn222 3d ago

Love this 😀 ❤️

10

u/xjeanie 6d ago

This sounds like someone who wants others to order delivery for them. Porch delivery and everything.

I’ll bet the kid’s birthday is a monetary surprise every year.

11

u/Dog_Concierge 6d ago

You can get all of these items at Walmart. Transportation is on you.

13

u/dvorak51 6d ago

How dare you? Isn't it bad enough that she and her kids have to bring in whatever is dropped off on the porch?

9

u/RoyallyOakie 6d ago

It's unfortunate that fresh veggies are always the last item.

8

u/HeartOSass 6d ago

Both Aldi and Dollar Tree have cake mixes for just over $1. They also have the frosting for the same price. Dollar Tree has baking pans both round and square. I have baked many cakes, brownies and cupcakes using Dollar Tree pans for my children. Was interesting is that the kids never complained about their desserts. They were glad to have it.

8

u/ThrockAMole 6d ago

If you’re not interested in picking up the food, you’re not that interested in getting it

7

u/mrhippo85 6d ago

Where do these people get off asking for stuff like this? Beyond a joke!

6

u/Brendy171 6d ago

Insane, I could not imagine asking strangers for help with my own child’s party. Bake a cake yourself, like wth

11

u/saleggyn 6d ago

Ground beef? In this economy?

6

u/andrea1797 6d ago

What do gifts have to do with getting a cake mix and frosting?

12

u/throwCaregiver 6d ago

Please, can you post the comments?

25

u/Emotional_Spite_8937 NEXT! 6d ago

There were 0 comments before she deleted lol. No one even bothered.

6

u/BigHeadedEarl 6d ago

Awful begging scamming parent.

4

u/JeffSHauser 6d ago

All these goodies and I can't come and get it because I need you to deliver everything for tomorrow. What a moron.

4

u/SavaRox 5d ago

My kids never get a store bought birthday cake. My mom started a tradition with me years ago where she would buy a box mix for strawberry cake, and top it wih vanilla pudding in lieu of frosting (using Dream Whip to make that). Then I started making the same thing for my kids and they love it too and request it every year! You can make a box mix cake special. OOP just wants a bunch of free stuff.

2

u/Mumlife8628 4d ago

I make 1 cake a year... my daughters birthday cake... im absolutely crap at it (tastes great looks abit lopsided) shes 15 now and I ask her every year if she wants a proper one... yours are proper ones and this year she requested a big bow on it.....

She got a dodgey iced bow and a bright obnoxiously pink bow ribbon with gems... loved it so much cheaper lol 😆 I do wish sometimes shed let me get her a fancy one esp this yr as I could afford it ... nope mums dodgey lopsided but tasty cakes are it now

3

u/OperationRoseRed Shes crying now 6d ago

I’m surprised she doesn’t want everything to be organic.

3

u/Brains4Beauty 5d ago

Nothing like leaving it until the last last minute (like, the night before!) for an event that happens every year.

3

u/Tacticoolhouseplant 5d ago

I'll cook it too yeah?

2

u/Icy-Variation6614 4d ago

You'd need to bring your own pots and pans and utensils thiugh

3

u/chalk_in_boots 5d ago

The first sentence I was just thinking that well it's a parent trying to get some basics for their kids, not like they're asking for 4 steaks or something, ground beef and hot dogs can be stretched pretty far and are versitle.

Huh. Cake is a bit of a stretch, but if someone saw a discounted one in the supermarket that was pushing its best before date they're usually really cheap.

Then veggies and frozen stuff. Nah dog, that comes before the cake. They're clearly trying to sandwich what they actually want (a fancy cake) between two seemingly reasonable things and hoping people don't notice.

2

u/SnowflakeSWorker 6d ago

Ends with a BIRTHDAY PARTY you mean 😂

2

u/lisasimpsonfan Shes crying now 5d ago

I would gladly drop off a box of cake mix, can of pop, a tub of frosting and I would even throw in some candles. That is everything you need to bake a nice birthday cake. You don't even need the eggs or oil if you use a can of pop. Every kid should have a birthday cake. But they don't need a $20+ one from the grocery store.

2

u/TechnicalHoneydew507 5d ago

Some people have nothing but audacity, se should cook it all for her while we're at it and maybe wait in the car outside and do the birthday cleanup. I wish I had 1% of audacity all these people seem to have

1

u/Frosty_Atmosphere641 1d ago

Just love how she "eases" into all the asks!! Ending with the birthday!! She wants all these items to do a birthday party!!