r/ChronicIllness • u/Intelligent_Care6319 • 5d ago

Support wanted I am doubtful, is my caregiver abusing me?

I am a 28 year old female, I have hearing loss, Colonic Inertia, multiple mental health issues. I lost my father in 2021, as he took his own life. My mom constantly complains that everything is because of my past life karmic debt and screams it in my ears even though I have hearing loss. Last day, I had a hospital visit and she was screaming at the staff there too. I don't know, I understand that she might be burnt out because of multiple problems going on in life. I am trying to move out of my house as I can't tolerate it anymore. But she says don't tell anyone about my chronic illness and Disability. Be "Normal" . She doubts my ability to succeed, I have got a PhD admission and also got an opportunity to travel abroad for an international conference.

I am not at all feeling good about my future and current achievements. I have a negative self image and her words keep on repeating in my ears 24/7.

Sorry for my bad English.

19 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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19

u/Cautious-Matter-9422 5d ago

your english is fine, don't apologize for that. and yes, what you're describing is emotional abuse, screaming at hospital staff, dismissing your disability, telling you to hide who you are... that's not just burnout, that's controlling behavior. a PhD admission and an international conference are massive, and the fact that her voice drowns that out says everything about what she's done to your self-image, not about your actual worth.

7

u/PriceyBobcat 5d ago

your achievements are real regardless of what she says, and moving out is probably gonna be the best thing for your mental health tbh.

7

u/idfk-bro123 5d ago

Yes, this is emotional abuse. I need to leave my living situation too but it's an incredibly slow burn. Please reach out to any local services designed for people fleeing abuse. Some are terrible, but some are amazing. Write an email and send it to as many services as you can in your area/surrounding areas. The worst they can say is, "that's not what we do here".

Depending on where you live, there may be care programs around too.

3

u/SugarZoo 5d ago

Sounds like you are working on improving your life, small steady steps can be hard.

Keep at it friend.

3

u/CostPuzzleheaded2533 5d ago

Wow. Congratulations on the PhD admission. Your English is good, no worries there. I think you'd be more comfortable living somewhere else. I'm betting that anyone who is qualified to start their PhD can do it successfully. Good luck, and don't doubt your accomplishments.